Negative Reaction

[shelli4018]

I wore my hair in a beautiful braidout to work today. Many of my African American co-workers have commented and run their fingers through my hair. However, my white coworkers seem to be taken aback. I've heard comments like, "hey, didya stick your finger in a light socket." I can't tell you how many times I've had to explain that my hair isn't naturally straight. It's thick and bushy if I don't beat it into submission. Have any of you experienced this??

Personally, I like the way my hair looks. I'm trying to hold off relaxing my hair until next week. So I intend to wear my hair this way until then.

 

[Allandra]

Sometimes they just don't have a clue, and they certainly show it. Since many of your AA co-workers commented on your hair, I'm sure it looks pretty.

 

[elliot]

It sounds like some of your white colleagues are extremely comfortable with you to make those types of comments. The next time that one says something to you just explain that this is your hair's natural state and you plan to wear it like this more often and do not need their commentary.

I am sure they'll understand. (Be tactful and professional in your approach.)

When I wear my hair in a ponytail, I get some interesting stares from my white male colleagues. However, they know its best to let sistah girl do her thang.

 

[melodee]

Yes,yes,yes!

I got my hair roller set with flexee rods about a month ago. It came out really curly and I liked it alot. Of course,it appeared several inches shorter due to the curls. I was in a musical performance with mostly caucasians that evening. As I walked to the dressing room, everyone kept commenting "you got a perm (as in permanent wave, not touch-up)" or "that's a nice hair cut". I didn't even get a trim! They don't understand when they see our chemically straightened hair that it's been altered. When they see it curly or wavy, they equate it to the permanent wave treatments that they get to add curl. I had to keep pulling my spirals down to show them that it was indeed the same length as before.

My point is that most whites are not educated about our hair. There are some that are,especially those who grow up around blacks. But for the most part, we just need to school them. Kepp on wearing your braidouts and tell them it's an ethnic style.

 

[Tracy]

Whenever my Mom experiences this she says something that I think is an amazing, gracious response (and thought provoking too!)

"You wear your hair the way it grows from your head, why shouldn't I do the same with mine?" And then she smiles and saunters off....She actually read this sentiment on a hair board at some point. She adopted it, and has been using it ever since.

It's rude and it should be challenged - but what a way to do it? So classy....

Perhaps she'll rub off. Cuz I just cuss 'em out!

Wear your hair girl. I'm sure you looked STUNNING.

 

[nita4]

I like that Tracy, will have to use...

 

[Honey01]

I haven't had necessarily negative comments, but I do field a lot of questions about my hair. I took it in stride because they seemed good-natured and just naturally inquisitive. It can be irritating "explaining" yourself to corporate America though.

 

[Tracy]

You know I was reading this thread again and I realized that I experience this all the time....
And then I realized that I don't cuss 'em out - I just keep on steppin'...which made me proud of me. Which I then had to note. To self...

So I guess I had a moment....which I hope you're having too...

Oops - babbling!

It is sad, and I just wanted to say that I really understand what you mean.

 

[shelli4018]

Typically I'm not offended. I just think they don't understand. -- You kow, my hair was really showing off too! It was standing there puffing itself out. I don't want to fight with it right now (smile) so I let it have it's way.

 

[LondonDiva]

Maybe it's their way of wanting to say something nice but can't so make a 'snide' comment instead to make them feel good. One day i don't know what I did to my hair but I had like 4 or 5 comments in one day. You can always see one or two that REALLY wanna say something and KNOW your hair looks good, but they either say nothing or something catty.

I'm fed up with trying to tutor them on the my hair and your hair different thing. From looking at it it doesn't take NO FOOL to realise that we have totally different hair. If we as blacks can notice that when looking at other races, why in the world do they find it so hard to notice ours is different. Did people just turn a blind eye in the 60's and 70's when afros were rife or what

 

[Guest]

LondonDiva I was thinking the same thing. It takes no Einstein to realize that our hair is different than theirs, so I don't understand their seeming amazement when it comes to our hair?

 

[brownrelaxedhair]

Some people say the most daft things. Continue to wear your hair girl as you are

This is slightly different, but the strangest reaction I got was at a previous company I worked. I was growing out a perm (yes curly) and my hair was around my ears or slightly longer. So I had a weave put in with canerow twists at the front going back to the crown and a whole head of straight weaved hair after the crown/the back of the head. The hair stopped at bra strap-ish.

Do you know the first day I walked into work, so many white people said 'your hair looks GORGEOUS! is it all yours?' I even had the odd one say 'did you grow your hair?'

WTF makes them think I grew my hair over night?

 

[Lindy]

[ QUOTE ]
Do you know the first day I walked into work, so many white people said 'your hair looks GORGEOUS! is it all yours?' I even had the odd one say 'did you grow your hair?'

[/ QUOTE ]

That is so funny! I used to have a friend in high school who wore extensions. When she took them out, people would say, Oh, you cut your hair!!! Then 2 weeks later she would get them done again and then people would say Wow your hair grows soooo fast!! DUH!!! How dumb can you be???

I was a little nervous and I also got some looks the first time I wore my twist-out to work, but everyone who did say something, said something positive. I wear my hair in so many different styles that I think now they are used to seeing me come to work with my hair different. I alternate from straight to curly to twist-out, to up-do... I love variety!!

 

[Ginn1]

I believe that often white people make negative comments and play stupid like they don't get it because they are truly envious of our natural beauty. They suffer to great lengths to get what we have naturally , such as darker complexions and curly/kinky hair. For years we have been bombarded with images of extemely pale, blond women with very caucasion features and body types as the epitome of beauty in the media. Yet in reality they spend small fortunes on tanning, perms and body sculpting trying to develope a more ehtnic look. I believe they get it they just don't want us to know that they do.

 

[Emmi]

ginn.. blacks do exactly the same thing.
Everyone always want what they cant have.
i know blacks that relax their hair and straighten thier nose and other upsurb things for the sole purpose of looking "more white".


Anyway back on topic...
the first and only time i had a weave was while on vacation to jamaica. my hair was shoulder at the time, and i came back with an expensive realistic looking elbow length weave. i couldnt believe the number of people who asked me if my hair grew that much over vacation lol. i had a couple ppl that thought i had relaxed my hair to that length. even though my hair was striaght prior to this lol. go figure, I dont think these ppl are dumb, i think they truly dont know about our hair, hell ive only just begun to learn about my hair.

 

[Ginn1]

Emmi, I'm fully aware that most people of all races do this but the topic was how WHITE PEOPLE react to our hair in its various stages and why. I'm sorry if I offended you or anyone else this was just my opinion on this pariticular subject. Also I'm not refering to all white people only those that act all turned off by our hair etc., but try to immitate it.

 

[Emmi]

oh sry..I thought you were refering to all white ppl. and you didnt state you that realised all races do the same thing.

Anyways thanx for clearing it up.

 

[melodee]

This always happens to me:
I'll get my hair done and it'll be looking slammin'. White people usually don't notice.
BUT
On a day my hair needs a perm bad and I have it in two braids or something like that,edges rough as h---,and white people will keep coming up to me saying, I like your hair.

Blacks are uaually the ones who know when it's touch-up time. Even the men.

 

[sylviaetc]

i get a negative reaction in reverse, black people in my neihborhood looked at me as if i were commiting a sin by not straightening my hair! one person said they knew how to flat iron it if i wanted to. and let me tell you, the braid out came out so well. it was bouncy and wavy just flowing beautfully. im a 4b btw, with shoulder length hair so you can imagine the gigantic curly fro i was sportin'
negativity comes in all colors...
sylvia

 

[LavenderDutchess]

"negativity comes in all colors"

Well said!

LOL @ melodee!

 

[shelli4018]

That's sad. You know my grandmother is very old school...raised in the south. She actually gets embarassed when black folk where their hair kinky. She would sh*t a gold brick if she saw my hair naturally. Unfortunately, lots of AA buy into that mentality. I just want the freedom to wear my hair however I want.

You know what's really disappointing? When my hair looks fabulous and a sister puts me down. You can see the insult coming. And you know where it's coming from: jealousy. I don't know why some of us can't be more supportive. I mean, I have bouts of envy when I see a particularly nice head of hair. But I wouldn't be catty about it. If anything I'd talk to the person long enough to ask how they did it.

 

[sweetcocoa]

Actually I get the opposite. I do however have to expalin to them that it's not a perm...but my natural texture. Now when I wear my hair straight they ask me where are the curls!!

 

[sweetcocoa]

[ QUOTE ]
If anything I'd talk to the person long enough to ask how they did it.

[/ QUOTE ]

I'm always full of questions and compliments when I see a gorgeous head of hair....

 

[ngaa]

Lindy that there is me coz most ppl in my school had never xoem into contact wit a black person and those that had come into contact had never been as close as they are to me so a lot really dont understand bout this whole afro hair thing and i kno sooooooooooooooooo many ppl wud look at me wen i had my braids dont to my waiste and talk bout dang i wish my hair grew that fast and they ask me this question everytime i have my hair done that i jus gave up havin to explain myself

then there's these ignorant

at my new school who saw my school adge that has a pic of me wen i had my 3c/4a weave on and it looked goooooooooooooood but then they had the nerve to sit there talkin bout u were havin a bad hair day huh?? and yet there was nothin wrong wit it jus that it wasnt straight and in a separate incident there were b***tchin bout this girl's hair and sed hell her hair looks so bad that afro hair look better and they sed this in front of me and i asked them wot they meant and they sed oh no it wasnt meant to offend me but since i relaxed my hair then i shudnt take offence coz i fixed the 'problem' wit my hair and she shud do the same

p.s. tracy u do kno ima have o use yo mum's line

 

[TransitioningK]

Normally I wear my hair in a ponytail so that you can't really see the length. When I straighten out my hair it looks about 4-5 inches longer. My white friends may ask me if I am wearing a weave, but I have to explain to them that I had my hair straighten and that is why it looks longer.

 

[kreeme]

[ QUOTE ]
WTF makes them think I grew my hair over night?

[/ QUOTE ]

LMBAO!!!

I know, right?! I can't stand when they say that shyt! I'll never forget the first time I did a sew in and I came to work...that was the first thing to come out of this white guys mouth, "I see you grew your hair out." I'm like, you know damn well you just saw me Friday...it is now Monday, ain't no way in the world I grew this overnight. But you know, they don't know any better...they just think they do.