-How much time was there between your last relationship and this one? I'd be willing to bet that you didn't have any time alone in between to get your mind right and really prepare to receive this new man. Relationship hopping is not healthy or productive. You need the time alone to reflect, regroup, and heal.
-What are you torn up about? The past cannot be changed. You must accept everything that has happened and accept that this person is no longer a part of your life. This requires that you begin to construct a new life that does not include him. Trying to funnel that energy into your new relationship is not the answer either because the issue is within you...not outside of you. What is it about that relationship that is unresolved for you? What responsibility are you carrying?
-Why would you ask him to try again? If he wanted to try, he would...no asking necessary.
-The only way you'll be suffering over this months from now is if you choose to. Your thoughts are yours to choose, and your life is yours to live. There is no reason for this person to have this much control in your life when he is not even an active participant. No thought lives in your mind rent free! That brotha (or otha) is not payin' rent and needs to be evicted, STAT!
-What are you afraid of and what are you unhappy about with yourself? Generally speaking, when people have the feelings you do, it is rooted in uncertainty, fear, and displeasure with the current state of affairs. I would suggest doing some introspection to assess where your relationship with yourself stands. Until you nurture that, you won't be over the ex, regardless of who else is around.
-You CAN get past it. It DOES get better...but only by choice. We hear stories of women who are able to take months to get past a broken relationship and then we hear of women who take decades to get past a broken relationship. I'm not judging, but I'm pointing out that at some point, it becomes a choice. You have to choose OUT of where you are. Your life, as it is, is a box. You've constructed this box as the architect of your life. When you are unhappy, you must choose something outside of the box. This involves stepping outside of your comfort zone which is why it's so difficult to do. However, this is where your growth occurs. Your peace of mind, your joy, and your complete healing from this situation are all outside of the box. THINK outside of the box...and then CHOOSE outside of the box.
