Need Serious Help

D

DazzlingD

New Member
Hello Everyone,
I am new to the board and I think its great. I am desparate need of help with my hair. /images/graemlins/frown.gif Its so bad I don't know what type it is. /images/graemlins/confused.gif For beginners, my hair is extremely "nappy and thick". If I don't relax it, I can't do anything with it. The middle part of my hair is the longest and the back is short. Its falling out. The right side is longer than the left side and it is alway dry. I grease it but that doesn't work. Everyone in my family has long hair except me. /images/graemlins/frown.gif My brothers would both have longer hair than me if they let it grow. /images/graemlins/smile.gif Currently, my is being relaxed. I used to use Fabulaxer and now I have switched to Mizani. I have a very sensitive scalp that gets burned no matter what I do. /images/graemlins/mad.gif I try to deep condition it everytime I wash it. I get it washed at least once a week. I guess that is it for now. Please help me ladies. Ask all the questions you want I will answer. Thanks
 
Are you doing pretreatments before you shampoo and deep condition? Also do you take any supplements?

When you say its falling out what do you mean, are long strands shedding or is it breaking off in small pieces?

Without knowing these answers my answers may or may not be helpful, but here are some things that can get you started.

You should be taking at least a multivitamin (Plenty of us take other vitamins aimed at hair growth, but they aren't for everyone so start with a good multi and work up from there.)
You should also be drinking plenty of water and eating nutritious food. Excercise is good too. THose are some of the things you can do on the inside for healthier hair.

On the outside start doing pre-treatments (hot oil are the most popular but you can do any number of different kinds- let me know if you want some other kinds and I will list some of my favorites).

Do deep conditioners but you should alternate between protein rich and moisture rich conditioners and follow the protein ones with a moisturizing conditioner wash or cream rinse. You can get plenty of recommendations here for those things.

Move as far away from the comb as you can. I know that doesn't seem like an easy thing to do but, the deep conditioners and pretreatments will help with it.

I can relate to the nappy and thick part. Although the individual strands of my hair range from thick to extremely thin, I have a lot of hair and it all seems to be concentrated at the crown. What helps me tame it is to do everything to it in sections.

Before I apply a pretreatment I section my hair and then apply to each section, before I apply a deep conditioner I do the same thing. When I set my hair I do the same thing. This method will teach you patience with your hair, cut down on tangles, and give you even coverage of your products.

Instead of grease, try a light oil like Extra virgin olive or jojoba. Jojoba is an awesome oil (its actually a liquid wax). It is extremely close to the oils that your scalp and skin make naturally, so your hair can actually absorb this oil rather than it just sitting there.

If I think of anything else, I will post it. I am sure that you are in the right place for advice though. Just wait, these ladies never leave you hangin.
 
Hi DazzlingD!!!! Glad to have you here!!! I'm sorry to hear about what you're going through but you'll get through it!!!

What products are you using in your hair? Perhaps you are not using the right products on your hair.

You said that you try to deep conditioning. I hate to say this but as a relaxed girl, and as a relaxed girl with hair problems--you can't try to deep conditionings--you HAVE to do them--no ifs, ands, or buts about it. /images/graemlins/smile.gif

Notsomebody is right---be sure to take a good multivitamin and eat a nutritionally sound diet. There is so much to learn here..I hope your head doesn't spin...../images/graemlins/drunk.gif

Can you tell us your exact regimen so that we can help you adjust it and make product recommendations? Let us know........ and welcome again!!!! /images/graemlins/grin.gif
 
Welcome to the board.

There is really nothing left for me to say or add. I can only resume what Notsomebody already said.
I think that hotoil treatments and lots of deep conditioning are necessary.
Staying away from heat (except for special occasions or maybe a couple times a month-but only if you really have to) is very important also.
The water/nutrition thing is very important also, drink drink drink water, as much as you can. Try to stay away from sodas and juices that have sugar added.

I really don't want to repeat what has already been said, but I think that this is the perfect place for you.

What are your goals?

Nay.
 
Hi DazzlingD,

Welcome to the board! /images/graemlins/smile.gif

Just from the description of your hair, You may be a 4a, 4b, or a combination 4a/b head.

Have you considered getting a trim so that both sides of your hair are the same length? I would start there. Mizani is a very good relaxer so give it a try for a bit. What are you using as a regular moisturizer? If you want to gain length, the secret is in caring for the ends of your hair. If you can keep them attached to the rest of your hair, you'll be in business! /images/graemlins/smile.gif Make sure that you deep condition your hair after every wash, no exceptions. What are you using for your deep conditioning treatments? Let me know.
 
Just wanted to say welcome DazzlingD! /images/graemlins/grin.gif You're definitely in the right place. /images/graemlins/smile.gif
 
DazzlingD, is Fabulaxer a no-lye relaxer? If it is that may have been where your dryness came from. The switch to Mizani was good. Thick and nappy is a good thing. If you hair is falling out try a concentrated protein conditioner like Aphogee, followed by a moisturizing conditioner - you can usually find this in a package. Like mentioned, deep conditioning is not an option, it is a must. Eliminate heat, think "moisture" and find a way to wear your hair where there is very little manipulation. Trying to shampoo at least twice a week helps too. Also, either get a good cut or gradual trims to help even your hair out. Personally, I did the trims /images/graemlins/smile.gif How often are you getting touch ups? There may also be some overlapping involved that is creating this dryness also.
 
Thanks to everyone. This site is what I have been waiting for.
Notsomebody, thanks for the information. To start no I don't pretreat before my wash or deep condition. I go to my hairdresser for everything because I don't have the know how on what to do on my own. That's why is said I try to deep condition. The problem is that its so expensive for the hairdresser to do it. But now with the information I am getting from here I will try and do things myself. I will take any and every suggestion for the pre-treatments. /images/graemlins/grin.gif
As for the falling out, it depends. But for the most part its a lot of breaking off. When I comb my hair, its all over my back and the floor. Its really depressing to me.

I am guilty of not taking a multivitamin. My husband is always on my back about that. I really have no excuse. Has anyone tried the HG37 supplement. I was thinking about taking that with a multivitamin. Can anyone suggest any vitamins?
I am proud to say that I have the water under my belt. /images/graemlins/smile.gif I drink water with everything. You would be amazed about how much cheaper dinner at a restaurant is when you just get water /images/graemlins/laugh.gif. Its so bad that my husband begs me to drink juice.
The deep conditioners I usually use cholesterol by cream of nature. Or sometimes emergency by nexus. I am open to any other suggestions you have.

It has been suggested to me before to cut my hair. To make both sides of my head even. But I have been so scared to do so. Afraid that if I cut it short it won't grow back with the luck I have been having. So I guess I just need to buckle down and do it
 
Nita4,Fabulaxer is a no-lye relaxer. I used it because as I stated before I burn so easily. I usually get a touch up about every 6-8weeks. But is seems like 6 to me. I am do for a touch up now but I haven't been able to get to the hairdresser. So right now my hair is in a little bun. There isn't much I can do with it.
 
Girl--forget the hairdresser!!!! You have us now!!! /images/graemlins/grin.gif

I hate going to the hairdresser just becasue I don't like to wait and I think I can do better with my hair (most of the time).

Let's start with the pre-shampoo---This can be a hot oil treatment with something as simple as olive oil. If you have olive oil, for now I wouldn't even bother going to get anything else unless you find it really isnt working for you. You may also want to mix the olive oil with honey. I always do this gloves otherwise its too hard to do. You can leave this in anywhere from 1/2 hour to however long you have. This is a good time to exercise or clean --you can kill two birds with one stone and you can also work up some body heat.

I don't think you mentioned what shampoo you use--or I may have missed it--I personally love Creme of Nature (ultra-moisturizing formula) but you can get a lot of suggestions in the favorite products thread. Favorite Products

For the deep conditioner since you are experiencing a lot of breakage, you might want to start off with protein conditioners but I'm not sure which one to recommend---perhaps ORS, CPR and maybe APhogee to start off the beginnign of the treatments. Again check the products thread.

You should follow up your protein treatments with a moisturizing conditioner.

Then you may want to alternate your protein conditioners with a moisturizing conditioner each time you shampoo....I think this should be after you get the breakage to stop or at least decrease.

After you deep condition, you may want to apply a leave-in conditioner and a moisturizer or oil (your choice). You may want to airdry to cut down on the heat for now.

I'm not familiar with cholesterol by Creme of Nature but I have heard good things about Nexxus Emergencee.

I'm glad that you like water---I wish I did! /images/graemlins/ohwell.gif

Also, do you have a heating cap or hooded or soft bonnet dryer. If not, there are some deep conditioenrs out there that are not dependent on heat if this is a problem for you.

I hope this helped..and if I discover that I left anything out...I'll be sure to post again..... /images/graemlins/cool.gif

You'll be fine........just trust in yourself!

Before you know it, your hairdresser will try to attack you for learning so much about your hair on this board!!!! People will talk about your hair and hate on you .....and that's when you know that your hair is lookign good!!!!! /images/graemlins/laugh.gif

And then when you cut out some of the visits to the hairdresser, then you'll have more money to become a product junkie!!!
 
Here are some of my favorite pretreats You should leave them on for at least 15 minutes. I normally do an hour, but my hair is extreeeemly prone to dryness.

Hot Oils

-Plain Extra Virgin Olive oil
-Jojoba, Tea Tree and Extra Virgin Olive Oil
-Jojoba and Castor Oil
-EVOO, Castor, and Jojoba
-Carrot (I don't use this nearly as much as I used to, I am just such a huge fan of Jojoba and EVOO that I have started cutting other oils out of my regimen, although I always have a use for castor)

Conditioning pretreats
- mix one egg yolk, 1 tsp. of honey, and 2 tablespoons of EVOO (or any oil of your choice although EVOO works best)

-Mix the recipe above with a couple of glops (yes that is a scientific term /images/graemlins/grin.gif) of ORS Hair mayo

-ORS Hair Mayo by itself

-ORS hair Mayo and honey (lots of shine from this one)

-Suave Coconut conditioner with honey and Evoo

-1 Advocado, 1 tsp honey, 3 tbs EVOO, and (thanks to hairfanatic) a glop of plain yogurt.

-Helman's Mayo (plain or with honey)


I mainly experiment with my pretreatments as a way of getting rid of conditioners that didn't really work for me so you probably have plenty of stuff that you can already use in your house right now. Once you have gone through your hair stuff, go into your kitchen and start checking your cupboards. The most important lesson I learned from any hair board is that most hair will respond to natural products better than processed and engineered chemicals. So keep that in mind when you do start shopping for hair products.

Things that 4a/b's should avoid at all costs:
Mineral Oil- It just sits on our hair and the coating dries it out.

Petroleum- Unless you are using it protect your hair from a Relaxer does pretty much the same thing as mineral oil.

Heat- Heat is damaging to everyone's hair but 4a/b hair is much more prone to damage from heat than most other hair types.

Combs/brushes- this is the hardest thing to give up. I haven't even given them up completely, but until you have weaned yourself off of them, remember to only use one of these things on moisturized hair. And also make sure they are in good condition: clean, no teeth missing, smooth with no jaggies (I got this tip from Sweetcocoa, file the seams down on a wide tooth comb. Its much cheeper than buying a seamless comb and your hair will definitely thank you for it).

There is a ton of stuff I could tell you, but I don't want to take up too much board space as I'm sure there is plenty of info the other ladies can share.
 
DazzlingD, if you decide to go ahead and get your touch up, make sure your hairdresser follows with a concentrated protein treament. If you have any emergencee left, take it with you. Have her follow the emergencee with a moisturizing conditioner. Girl get the trim no more then 1/4 of an inch and even up that one side. You'll feel better afterwards. Then get a roller set, no blow dryers or curling irons. Call her ahead of time to make sure this is okay and that she is willing to do it. Then after this relaxer make sure you shampoo at least once a week, followed by a moisturizing conditioner, faithfully. Use a good creme protein conditioner every 4th week. Do this consistently and your hair should bounce back.

Other then that I would lay off the 6 to 8 week relaxers to give my hair and scalp and break. Try stretching your relaxer out one week at a time. If you see more breakage, stop. Curly styles and braid outs will help hide the textures. The braid out you can do yourself. Shampoo,condition, braid, grab a headband and it the door. It takes a little time to get use to. At least for me it did. /images/graemlins/smile.gif Try to use your stylist sparingly. This is all a little hard to absorb when you are use to getting your hair done. Take matters into you own hands go back and read the post and inspire yourself - it can be done. Just something to think about. /images/graemlins/look.gif
 
DazzlingD Glad to see you made it. Ladies this lady e-mailed me and I forwarded her here. Be gentle, like I know you will /images/graemlins/wink.gif

D, see I told you they are mice didn't I. Good Luck with your hair girly. /images/graemlins/smile.gif
 
</font><blockquote><font class="small">In reply to:</font><hr />
daviine said:
Girl--forget the hairdresser!!!! You have us now!!! /images/graemlins/grin.gif

I hate going to the hairdresser just becasue I don't like to wait and I think I can do better with my hair (most of the time).



[/ QUOTE ]

Listen to Daviine, cause she's talking sense. This time next you, you'll have that salon look without ever having stepped in a salon. /images/graemlins/smile.gif
 
</font><blockquote><font class="small">In reply to:</font><hr />
D, see I told you they are mice didn't I.

[/ QUOTE ]

What I want to know is---who you calling a mouse? /images/graemlins/laugh.gif

Sometimes I crack myself up......... /images/graemlins/grin.gif
 
LondonDiva, you said be gentle. We can't tell her to just "dump" her stylist /images/graemlins/grin.gif We'll gradually work that in!!
 
Welcome to the board, DazzlingD! Everyone else gave such great tips that I have nothing to add. With the great advice everyone has given, your hair will be back up to speed in no time! /images/graemlins/grin.gif

Daviine, an FYI about water: girl, I hate it too, but it's easier to drink when it's as cold as possible! /images/graemlins/wink.gif
 
</font><blockquote><font class="small">In reply to:</font><hr />
daviine said:
</font><blockquote><font class="small">In reply to:</font><hr />
D, see I told you they are mice didn't I.

[/ QUOTE ]

What I want to know is---who you calling a mouse? /images/graemlins/laugh.gif

Sometimes I crack myself up......... /images/graemlins/grin.gif

[/ QUOTE ]

LMAO Oh shoot!! Duh you know what I meant. Except mindy on here /images/graemlins/laugh.gif there are no mice.
 
Girl--I can't drink water when it's cold unless its summertime. I personally prefer water at room temperature when I do drink water, which isn't that often. /images/graemlins/blush.gif
 
Girl......I thought about Mindy too after I posted that!!!!! /images/graemlins/laugh.gif

We are just too funny girl!!!!! /images/graemlins/cheers.gif
 
Hang on DazzlingD,
If this board could turn my hair situation around(which it did), you've come to the right place. Be patient, you'll begin to see results soon enough /images/graemlins/grin.gif
 
I am starting to get emotional. /images/graemlins/cry3.gif You guys are great. I already feel inspired by all the advice alreay. Thank you /images/graemlins/smile.gif
 
</font><blockquote><font class="small">In reply to:</font><hr />
DazzlingD said:
Hello Everyone,
I am new to the board and I think its great. I am desparate need of help with my hair. /images/graemlins/frown.gif Its so bad I don't know what type it is. /images/graemlins/confused.gif For beginners, my hair is extremely "nappy and thick". If I don't relax it, I can't do anything with it. The middle part of my hair is the longest and the back is short. Its falling out. The right side is longer than the left side and it is alway dry. I grease it but that doesn't work. Everyone in my family has long hair except me. /images/graemlins/frown.gif My brothers would both have longer hair than me if they let it grow. /images/graemlins/smile.gif Currently, my is being relaxed. I used to use Fabulaxer and now I have switched to Mizani. I have a very sensitive scalp that gets burned no matter what I do. /images/graemlins/mad.gif I try to deep condition it everytime I wash it. I get it washed at least once a week. I guess that is it for now. Please help me ladies. Ask all the questions you want I will answer. Thanks

[/ QUOTE ]

Hey Dazzling and welcome to our board! Glad to have you here and just wanted to reiterate that you're in good hands now, baby! My personal suggestion is to listen to as many suggestions as possible and from what you've experienced in the past, rule out what you know isn't going to work! Sounds to me like you're one of the ones (like me) who needs moisture to thrive. I'm right around shoulder length and heading wayyyyy beyond because of the advice I've been learning here. I hope you find what works for you really soon! Let us know what steps you take in your experimentation and we'll help you as best we can.
 
I'm not relaxed but I can tell you what the ladies would suggest to you. (This board really is that good!!)

First thing to do is relax!! (You have found the right place and less stress=more hair growth)

There is plenty of information on how to care for your relaxed hair!! I see that many people have really recapped everything for you but just go through the old posts when you have time.

You will find
1. Routines that work!!
2. Vitamin regimens that work!!
3. Product recommendations.

All you need to do is try what suits you and pick what works best for your hair.

I have to put a plug in for one product though ORS Hair mayo. It is a protein conditioner but works wonderfully to soften the hair.

If you do nothing else (At which Point I will get my whip out /images/graemlins/whip.gif) try ORS as a deep conditioner.
 
Something that you might want to add to your list of goodies for growing hair:
Use a seamless comb. Section hair and comb from the ends up. I use a detangler spray, then Infusium followed by olive oil and I have very painless tanglefree comb outs. I hold my hair about 1 " from the bottom and start to comb very gently....Tie your hair up at night with a satin or silk scarf...Use plastic hair pins for updos. Apple Cider Vinegar rinses after I shampoo;(I use 1 part vinegar to 8 parts water). Decide what type of regime will work for you and stick to it. Moisturize and moisturize and oil the ends. Hope this helps. I know that the Ladies will be excellent tutors as always. Bonjour. /images/graemlins/smile.gif
 
Thanks again to everyone. I know I have said several times already. But you guys are truly heaven sent. But I do still have a few questions. For instance, I am due for a touch-up and I want to know how I should do my hair so I don't have to mess with it as much during the week. In other words can anyone suggest any hair styles.
 
For the hairstyles you might wanna try Adrienne's drawstring ponytail. Just take off the fake ponytail at night and moisturize the bun underneath and go to bed. in the morning, replace the ponytail and get out!!! Check out Adrienne's profile for her website!
 
</font><blockquote><font class="small">In reply to:</font><hr />
LondonDiva, you said be gentle. We can't tell her to just "dump" her stylist &lt;img src="/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /&gt; We'll gradually work that in!!

[/ QUOTE ]

Oh my bad, lol, Ok then...well not now, but in a few months dump the stylist. **runs and hides for cover**
 
Londongirl

Even though ORS Hair mayo contains egg enriched protein, it's not classed as a protein conditioner. I'd say it's more of a moisturising conditoner than anything.
 
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