Need Prayer; marriage going down the tubes...

[brownsugar9999]

Greetings and Blessings ladies. I'm in need of guidance, strength and prayer. I have been with the sam man for the last 10 years, and married for 5 1/2. We have no children and maybe that's a blessing in itself. However, he's been unfaithful several times, and I'm trying to forgive and forget, but he's still friends with a few people. I have told him how uncompfrtable I am with that and that I can't stand for that. He agreed, and said that once his lawsuit was over, he'd have no more dealings with this particular woman. last night he was up late on the phone with her, telling her something to the effect that they weren't good even as friends, and that they had business together...etc. (didn't really hear the rest of it) But this morning when I asked him if he planned on severing that relationship, he got all huffy with me. I told him that he needed to understand that i can't heal with this person still in the picture, and that he should be trying to help, considering he said that he wanted things to work. Well, he said that we've got our own problems, and that it was best that we go our separate ways. I said FINE...I didn't need someone who at the first sign of a disagreement was ready to trun tail and run like a coward. So now he'son the phone with all of his friends and family and saying..."Oh, I just can't take this anymore, we're doomed, and I can do better by myslef....etc" I know Pastor TD Jakes said that "There are people who can walk away from you.

And hear me when I tell you this! When people can walk away from you: let them walk.

I don't want you to try to talk another person into
staying with you, loving you, calling you, caring about you, coming to see you, staying attached to you. I mean hang up the phone.

When people can walk away from you let them walk. Your destiny is never tied to anybody that left.

The Bible said that, they came out from us that it might be made manifest that they were not for
us. For had they been of us, no doubt they would have continued with us. [1 John 2:19]

People leave you because they are not joined to you. And if they are not joined to you, you can't make them stay.

Let them go. "
Ladies help me, because as much as I want to keep trying, and God knows I'm hurting, I also want to be through with this. But I'm so confused and hurt and lost, and destroyed, and..................
This isn't the first time we've gone through this exact same scenario, but this time we put the house up for sale.....
Pray for strength, understanding, clarity and peace of mind, because I'm a storm of rage, confusion, anger, hurt, sadness, loneliness, and unsure of anything.
I don't have friend b/c I've given my life over to him and the job, and didn't really have room in between...now I regret it, and it's too late for the friends thing...I trust very few....

 

[PoeticJustice]

I PM'd you, Brownsugar. Stay strong my sister, God is not through with you yet ((((((HUGS))))))

 

[brownsugar9999]

Didn't get your PM, but thankyou for the encouragement....I feel empty and shallow right now..but I know God will not forsake me....I just have to be patient......Thank you Justicewifey...I so desperately needed a hug (you made me cry...)

 

[PoeticJustice]

Didn't get your PM, but thankyou for the encouragement....I feel empty and shallow right now..but I know God will not forsake me....I just have to be patient......Thank you Justicewifey...I so desperately needed a hug (you made me cry...)

Sorry I added more, did you get it?

I understand your pain right now. I'm praying for your renewed strength during this test of faith.

BTW (((((((((((I can hug you all day))))))))))

 

[ClassicChic]

I am going to pray that God provides the best route for you. If it is His will, then it shall be done! I don't know if it is best for you to stay or go. But I will pray that He makes things clear for you and give you the strength to continue on whatever path that is. Stay strong and pray.

 

[Divine Inspiration]

awwww mama, I realize how heart-breaking this must be. Just know that God never puts more on us than we can bear and that if he's put you in this situation, you're not expected to get through it alone.

You are definitely in my prayers...and in your time of grief, I want to suggest that you cry when you feel like it. I hate when people say, "Awww don't cry." NO!!! Cry when you need to cry, it can be very theraputic. There are probably so many emotions that you need to release and crying is far better than destructing property or causing bodily harm to another human being.

Be encouraged...I'll leave you with the lyrics of one of my favorite songs of all time...

When your burdens seem to weigh you down
Or the road, it seems too far to carry on
Just look to the hills, you will find your help
Is coming from the Lord, hold on
Even when you feel you can't go on
And even if you have to mourn
Let your soul cry out to the Lord
Cry on
God understands your tears
He knows how much that you can bear
Your faintest cry, He's gonna hear
Cry on
When there's nothing else to say
Soon He'll wipe all your tears away
Without test and trials
You won't experience real joy
Gold without fire
It will never ever be pure gold
And without hitches
You will never know
The Lord can bring you through
Even when you feel you can't go on
Let your soul cry out to the Lord
Cry on
God understands your tears
He knows how much that you can bear
Faintest cry He's gonna hear
Cry on
When there's nothing else to say
He'll wipe all your tears
Weeping may
Endure for the night
But joy comes in the morning time



{DI}

 

[fivefoursweetie]

I'm personally not married..don't even have a man. But I will pray for you. I know that you don't have many you can trust in, but do you attend a church that has a Woman's Fellowship Group or Bible study. If so, you may want to attend. Sometimes other women share and God can use them to indirectly/directly minister to you. Stay in pray girl, cause God can help you get through when NO ONE else is there.

 

[nikipovi]

I PM'd you. Let me know if you get it.

 

[good2uuuu]

I'm so sorry to hear this. I will be keeping you in my prayers that you will be blessed with strength and wisdom in this situation. Don't worry about friends. You have us, even though you don't know us personally. You have our support and our prayers and you know you can vent and just get things off your chest here without judgement. Be strong sis!

 

[CICI24]

Let him go! I know that its easier said than done, but I'm speaking from experience. Your life will only get better as long as you continue to trust in God. I will continue to pray for you.

 

[Supergirl]

I've said a prayer for you and your marriage. I really must commend you on continuing to fight for your marriage even after your husband's indiscretions. I know that must be hard, but there is absolutely nothing wrong with that.

I really like what you posted above from TD Jakes. That little passage really helped me out a while back when I was going through a hard time.

Whatever it is you desire to come of this situation: Do not say what you see. Instead, say what you want.

 

[brownsugar9999]

I'm personally not married..don't even have a man. But I will pray for you. I know that you don't have many you can trust in, but do you attend a church that has a Woman's Fellowship Group or Bible study. If so, you may want to attend. Sometimes other women share and God can use them to indirectly/directly minister to you. Stay in pray girl, cause God can help you get through when NO ONE else is there.

No, no chuirch, but maybe I should really invest in finding one...it seems that I have received more comfort and care from a group of complete strangers, and none in my own home. Bless you Ladies...you each make it a little easier to get through the hours...

 

[brownsugar9999]

I'm so sorry to hear this. I will be keeping you in my prayers that you will be blessed with strength and wisdom in this situation. Don't worry about friends. You have us, even though you don't know us personally. You have our support and our prayers and you know you can vent and just get things off your chest here without judgement. Be strong sis!

I don't know you guys, but in the name of our Lord and Savior, I love each and every one of you....
Squirrel

 

[brownsugar9999]

Let him go! I know that its easier said than done, but I'm speaking from experience. Your life will only get better as long as you continue to trust in God. I will continue to pray for you.

I've tried, and I'm trying. I wonder if it's the 10 years that I've put in that make it so hard to go...or the uncertainty. I know that if he can walk away from me, then he's not meant to be a part of my destiny, but it hurts.......it really hurts. He's introduced me to some things in life I'd never even thought of before (travelling from country to country...we bought our first houses together, etc), but those are material things. I also had VERY low self esteem when I met him, and it has improved 5 fold, but he helped me with that......(I'm grasping at straws)......I need to be strong for myself, and not allow him just to flip flop and change his mind from day to day......so confused. On my knees pleading to the Lord to hear his voice, and then crying out in anguish pain and sorrow when I don't "hear it".......

 

[brownsugar9999]

I've said a prayer for you and your marriage. I really must commend you on continuing to fight for your marriage even after your husband's indiscretions. I know that must be hard, but there is absolutely nothing wrong with that.

I really like what you posted above from TD Jakes. That little passage really helped me out a while back when I was going through a hard time.

Whatever it is you desire to come of this situation: Do not say what you see. Instead, say what you want.

Thank you SUpergirl...the 2 main reasons I fight so hard are the two most difficult...
#1. God doesn't like divorce (not sure where I hear that from), but if he wants to go, and I've put everything I had into it, maintaining "good wife" staus, then God will have absolved me of this marriage, make me clean and whole, and guide me to where I'm supposed to be.....
and #2...
I'd be lying if I said that I didn't love him...I hate what he's done, but not all times were bad times...I have to acknowledge that....

Thank you for your support. You women are phenomenal.
My sisters in Christ, thank you all.
Squirrel

 

[Synthia]

I know Pastor TD Jakes said that "There are people who can walk away from you.

And hear me when I tell you this! When people can walk away from you: let them walk.

I don't want you to try to talk another person into
staying with you, loving you, calling you, caring about you, coming to see you, staying attached to you. I mean hang up the phone.

When people can walk away from you let them walk. Your destiny is never tied to anybody that left.

The Bible said that, they came out from us that it might be made manifest that they were not for
us. For had they been of us, no doubt they would have continued with us. [1 John 2:19]

People leave you because they are not joined to you. And if they are not joined to you, you can't make them stay.

Let them go. "
.

First. BrownSugar, I am sending loving thoughts your way. I know the wisdom of what to do will come to you.

Second. Let me tell you that you have changed my life forever by sharing this quote from T.D. Jakes with me.

So, powerful. It truly spoke to my heart.

Take care, sweetie.

 

[ShortyDooWhop]

I'm praying right now that the peace of God will be there for you right now. I'm asking that the Holy Spirit minister to your heart, soul, and spirit, and that He give both you and your husband clarity. Only God knows why you and your husband are having problems, and know that in time, He will show you why you are going through this trial. But above all, know that He's present, even when you can't hear Him. Girl, keep praying. He lives in our prayers.


Praying and sending you love and thoughts of peace.

 

[shalom]

I'm not married so I don't feel comfortable with the advice giving I'll leave that to your other sistas here at LHFC which are, but I just wanted to say that I will be keeping you in prayer, tomorrow is our fast & pray day at LHFC and I'll be holding you up before the Lord. Oh, yeah at LHFC you always have friends.

:crystalba I see your future, I see that God's got it all worked out, he'll work it out for you.

By the way I agree with Divine Insp. if you have got to cry, then cry let it all out it's God's way of cleansing you spirit.

DI - I hate when people tell me not to cry to.

 

[Divine Inspiration]

By the way I agree with Divine Insp. if you have got to cry, then cry let it all out it's God's way of cleansing you spirit.

DI - I hate when people tell me not to cry to.

OK?! I do too...ITA that crying is God cleansing and healing us...most times when we're fighting tears it's b/c we haven't started to heal. Crying is so powerful...it's a release of so much tension, anxiety, frustration, disappointment, and grief. Once the tears are flowing, the negative energy can flow right on out with it, and God can come in and begin rebuilding a bigger and better vessel.

That's why I NEVER let people see me cry...I don't cry often, but when I do, you best believe I get somewhere alone and let God have His way with me...I've never regretted it.

Brownsugar, you have very legitimate reasons for holding on. I agree that if he's leaving you and you've done all you can, God will not hold you accountable for someone else's actions if you've done your part. And of course, 10 years of marriage is difficult to let go of. Shoot, it's girls around here with 10 weeks worth of relationship who struggle letting go, so you have every right to grieve over a lost investment and feel the sadness that comes with an emotional disconnect of that magnitude.

God bless you...

{DI}

 

[Blossssom]

Leave.......

 

[redeemed516]

quick bit of poetry

I know that trust in God is a hard decision to make.
especailly when you're going through..
all the more reason to pray and wait.
You think that life would be so smooth
after you're saved and come to know the truth
But God never said it would be easy
he said tribulation you would go through
So I am telling you, That this is what you ought to do
Give it all to the Lord and WAIT.
I gaurantee he'll see you through
If you trust Him, He will make a way....

Keep praying and trusting. Sometimes God is trying to move things (and people) and WE won't let him. I believe we all have strong holds and somthings we just hold strongly. Keep praying and GOd will surely direct your path.

 

[Divine Inspiration]

bumping for an update!!!