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Naturals who would relax again

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Would you ever consider relaxing your hair again?

  • Yes...I have more knowledge on hair care now

    Votes: 67 25.4%

  • No....relaxing can only cause damage

    Votes: 144 54.5%

  • I'm not sure

    Votes: 53 20.1%
  • Total voters
    264
  • Poll closed .
I voted no. Been there, done that. Was loced for 3+ years and loose natural for about 5 mths. Then I relaxed again. I think my hair was pretty healthy while relaxed, but I missed my natural hair horribly. Lasted 10 mths with the relaxer and I'm now transitioning back to natural.
 
SUZIEq said:
I totally understand what you're saying! Congrats on now having the manageable hair that u want. :yep:

I'm always curious when people post not u per se but anyone in general that they had to go back to relaxing. It concerns me because I always think like what the hell is in store for me in the future? Like do I know what I bargained for? And will I be able to manage my natural hair?

I just wanted to know like did u exhaust all your possiblities like changing products, etc? Can u expand on that for me? Like did u do everything to avoid relaxing and what was that like/all about. Thanks!!
Click to expand...

Not all natural hair is the same so don't any fears about how you will cope.

The thing is my hair was not what i expected. I can't explain the texture but it has very thin strands that are extremely curly and they tangled around each other. I thought my hair would be like my Mum's beautiful natural hair. She is 3C without the tangles and her hair is very moist.

I couln't transition because of this. Alot of tangly new growth attached to relaxed hair was a joke - that's why i just shaved it all off.

I learned that my hair is also naturally extremely dry. Baggying made it feel nice but as it dried it would become brittle and break no matter what product i used. My hair would either always feel greasy or wet to the touch or dry and hard. I had to stop the wash and go's. Combing was a NIGHTMARE. Even my Mum had to admit it. She said my hair doesn't seem the same as it was when i was younger.

Blowdrying - sapped moisture and my hair broke every time.

Cornrows - a no-no - my scalp is extremely sensitive and tender and the hairline at the front pulled out very easily (luckily my hair grows back in very well) and i don't like how they look on me.

Individual plaits - sapped my hair of moisture.

Natural twists were the only style i could do but they took me 6-7 hours to do and they had to come out after 3 weeks and the tangling was terrible.

Weaves - a joke to me. My poor scalp.

I then decided to just let 'professionals' do my hair - no matter what the cost, just so that i could stay natural.
Another joke - the 'bad' products/tools were being used - raking through my hair with small combs - snap, crackle, pop all the way. Marcel irons (yep, i tried wearing it pressed) made it look wonderful but ha - i had 3 damaged areas on my head so i couldn't even do neat twists/wash n go's anymore.
I always asked about split ends and was always told my hair was 'nice and healthy because it was curly'. After i relaxed i had lots trimmed off cus the splits were so far up the strand.

I tried so many different products i was going broke.
I stressed out over my hair every day and it seemed to be consuming my life - i'm serious.

I am very happy now being relaxed and have learnt alot in the last 2 and a half years.

Hope this answers your question.
 
shocol said:
Because I already know what works to moisturize my relaxed hair. So far, it has proven to be easier to keep my relaxed hair moisturized than my natural hair. I've spent way to much money on products and I'm started to get a little tired of trying. But I'm trying to give myself 1.5 - 2 yrs as a natural before I make any decisions about relaxing again.
Click to expand...

Thats what i'm talking about.
 
Nope not for me.
Being relaxed for me was such a chore. My hair wouldn't straighten while my scalp was getting burnt to high heaven. It never looked good at all. It took me lots of time to make it look decent. Even when I've straightened my hair as a natural it looked better. So there is no need for me to relax again.
 
Thanks Bublin, for responding!!:yep: I appreciate it. Your insight was highly appreciated. Seems as if u did exhaust all the possiblities with your natural hair and the only logical step was relaxing. Best to u on your relaxed hair journey:grin:

Bublin said:
Not all natural hair is the same so don't any fears about how you will cope.

The thing is my hair was not what i expected. I can't explain the texture but it has very thin strands that are extremely curly and they tangled around each other. I thought my hair would be like my Mum's beautiful natural hair. She is 3C without the tangles and her hair is very moist.

I couln't transition because of this. Alot of tangly new growth attached to relaxed hair was a joke - that's why i just shaved it all off.

I learned that my hair is also naturally extremely dry. Baggying made it feel nice but as it dried it would become brittle and break no matter what product i used. My hair would either always feel greasy or wet to the touch or dry and hard. I had to stop the wash and go's. Combing was a NIGHTMARE. Even my Mum had to admit it. She said my hair doesn't seem the same as it was when i was younger.

Blowdrying - sapped moisture and my hair broke every time.

Cornrows - a no-no - my scalp is extremely sensitive and tender and the hairline at the front pulled out very easily (luckily my hair grows back in very well) and i don't like how they look on me.

Individual plaits - sapped my hair of moisture.

Natural twists were the only style i could do but they took me 6-7 hours to do and they had to come out after 3 weeks and the tangling was terrible.

Weaves - a joke to me. My poor scalp.

I then decided to just let 'professionals' do my hair - no matter what the cost, just so that i could stay natural.
Another joke - the 'bad' products/tools were being used - raking through my hair with small combs - snap, crackle, pop all the way. Marcel irons (yep, i tried wearing it pressed) made it look wonderful but ha - i had 3 damaged areas on my head so i couldn't even do neat twists/wash n go's anymore.
I always asked about split ends and was always told my hair was 'nice and healthy because it was curly'. After i relaxed i had lots trimmed off cus the splits were so far up the strand.

I tried so many different products i was going broke.
I stressed out over my hair every day and it seemed to be consuming my life - i'm serious.

I am very happy now being relaxed and have learnt alot in the last 2 and a half years.

Hope this answers your question.
Click to expand...
 
from all the respones it seems like only the newly natural heads are considering or not writing off relaxing. Those who have been natural for 3+ yrs all say never again.

hmm....makes me think.....I should just wait it out and the feelings may go away.

I found a new way to comb my hair lastnight so I'm having fun now.
 
Val said:
from all the respones it seems like only the newly natural heads are considering or not writing off relaxing. Those who have been natural for 3+ yrs all say never again.

hmm....makes me think.....I should just wait it out and the feelings may go away.

I found a new way to comb my hair lastnight so I'm having fun now.
Click to expand...
i went natural back in 2001:look:
 
I've actually been contemplating it ALOT. I have not had an easier time really with my natural hair. The FRIZZ, TANGLES, and KNOTS are about to drive me crazy. I also have to admit that I do not like the way natural hair looks on me. I did it to get a healthier, longer head of hair. I thought not relaxing may help my dry scalp but it didn't. I used a mild Lye relaxer in September '07. My hair looked great after blow drying and flat ironing, but once the New York humidity gets to it---that's it! This has been alot more WORK for me. I avoid wash day for this reason. I will probably relax in two weeks.
 
I'm so debating, but fighting it. Last time I had a relaxer, I cut it all off. There were too many issues such as making sure a stylist doesn't over process leading to breakage, and also my thyroid disease making my hair even drier and causing more breakage. I think the knowledge from the thread would help me take care of it better. I really don't know what to do with it in it's natural state (style wise) besides flatironing or throwing it in a bun. Also there's the issue of reversion and of shrinkage. OH THE SHRINKAGE. If I had a relaxer, I know my bsl hair would be almost mid back. Right after flat ironing, my hair still shrinks a little. Also, I'm a student and actress. If I say, have an acting call back for a commercial (for example), I need my hair to look the same way it did the day I first auditioned, even if it's five days later for the call back. So I need my hair to look consistent. It seems with natural hair I never know what it's going to do. So that's an issue. I don't want to go to the creamy crack, but it's calling me. I do know my hair is in great condition, but I know that a relaxer is something that can't be undone. So it's a never ending war in my head right now.:wallbash:
 
Last edited:
The funny thing is...typing what I typed makes me rethink and realize that I can't do it...at least not right now. I just don't see the point in going back. I may have to learn how to manage my hair more as it gets longer. Maybe it's just growing pains...you know?:rolleyes:
 
No-I would most likely NEVER relax my hair again. When I did relax, I was going for the same look I have now :ohwell:.

BUT, I'm not gonna lie. My hair was straight b*tchin the other day. So much so that I just through a wig on over it (but that was partially my fault since all I did was soak with Emergency 911 and threw in a bun and not comb it for 3 days :look:). On top of that, I went to visit "topofthelinechic's fotki w/ her freshly relaxed hair and I wanted to go pick be up a box of Soft Botanicals regular :perplexed. So I maxiglided, got rid of the tree splits and my hair is healthy soft and shiny-plus I retain another inch despite my trim :grin:. It's comforting to know that I have such options as a natural.
 
I am more than likely going to Texlax SOON.

I am tired of the tangles, knots, extra time combing, the type of styles, and dryness. I NEVER had these issues as a relaxed head.:ohwell:
 
fabiennd said:
Nope....being natural is too easy. Also, it suits my face, lifestyles so much better....:yep: Seriously, right now I feel like that I've been natural all of my life; it just comes so naturally...:grin:
Click to expand...

That's exactly how I feel! Besides the bad condition my hair was in it was always big and puffy. It never really laid down and I was bored with it so I ended up with some kind of curly style anyway...So it is HIGHLY unlikely that I will be relaxed again...
 
I wonder whether rollersetting would help reduce the knots many naturals get. I've been tempted to relax so I can retain more length, because the knots caused by my hair curling around itself need to be cut before they split, thus depriving me of length.

Also, my natural hair needs to be braided after washing and worn that way until my next wash to avoid tangling. Leaving it exposed without some heavy-duty sealant or baggy is just asking for dryness however much I moisturise, causing split ends, mid-shaft breakage etc which in turn limits the styles I can wear.

I'm not sure I'd relax though. Once water touched my relaxed hair, it reverted and looked like I'd never had a relaxer at all... so I think I'm going to have to introduce some heat/ rollersetting to help prevent the knots.
 
I"m seeing all this talk about knots and tangles.....I've haven't had any of that...once wet my hair detangles rather easily....I don't attempt to detangle when dry. The only time I may get a knot or two is when I haven't undone my twists properly.
 
I'm transitioning so I probably don't get a real say....but to be honest I just don't know. As my hair has grown out the last six months I have fallen in love with it. One of the problems I had when I was relaxing regularly is that my scalp always reacted badly - i got little bumps...not burns all over my scalp. I had to go to the dermatologist, get salve, all kinds of problems. I don't know if it was because of the type of relaxer used or what and that used to happen all the time but it took me a while to realize it. My hair knotted and tangled when it was relaxed regularly too. Also my hair is very thin when it's relaxed - very! So far I can say that my hair was the longest when it was relaxed but also the unhealthiest. It was so dry and damaged. Honestly I feel like both types of hair are work, cost money (trying to figure out the right products), etc. I like what natural texture I have so far. I want to give it a fair go and see how it turns out. I've been relaxed for the last 18 years of my life (minus 4 years when I unintentionally transitioned in braids - my hair was a mess though). LadyKPC (sorry spelling?) and LadyLibra are my biggest inspirations - I owe it too the woman above that i even begin to consider it - for professional reasons. I don't know just rambling now I guess....:spinning:
 
I don't think i would relax again. My hair is uber cute and just as i was inspired i have inspired others to go natural. For me i have the best of both worlds and that works for me.
 
I'm not sure...I have been natural for 2 1/2 years and I have run out of styles that I like. I have simply "played" twists out & a puff is not a good look for an everyday style on me. Getting it pressed worked well for the winter but it doesn't last with with the warm months approaching. I am at a lost & am unsure what my next move will be.:covereyes
 
I have a girlfriend who was natural and worked out often. She relaxed about 2 months ago and is very happy. Her problem was - for some reason, she was ripping out her natural hair in it highly coily/curly state. She also never realized a lot of retained length b/c she was breaking it off. She even tried shampooing with gloves b/c her rough hands would have a bunch of hair in them. She was miserable and since she has been relaxed, is much happier now.
 
SVT said:
I pm'd you. :yep:
Click to expand...
Can you pm me too.:look: I dont want to relax and I just tried out my maxiglide for the first time on a piece of hair and its like silky butter. I think I might get addicted to this...it looks way better than any relaxer could.
 
Here's my response to Nefertiti:

I haven't noticed any bad effects from the heat at this point. I'm flatironing weekly on Sunday nights. I wash-n-go Friday-Sunday. I've kept this schedule for about a month.

I try to avoid the humidity or tie my hair back then let it loose when I get indoors. I've also found that rolling my hair helps because the frizz blends with the curls. I touch up the roots and edges if the frizz is just too much.

HTH!
 
SVT said:
Here's my response to Nefertiti:

I haven't noticed any bad effects from the heat at this point. I'm flatironing weekly on Sunday nights. I wash-n-go Friday-Sunday. I've kept this schedule for about a month.

I try to avoid the humidity or tie my hair back then let it loose when I get indoors. I've also found that rolling my hair helps because the frizz blends with the curls. I touch up the roots and edges if the frizz is just too much.

HTH!
Click to expand...
Thanks SVT! Are you doing any protein treatments?
 
I wouldn't relax again. I have no reason to. If it got to the point where I wanted to wear my hair straight all the time, frankly, I'd just use flat iron it all the time and let it become heat stretched (I like that term:lachen:).

There are just too many options with natural hair to limit myself to one texture. I know texlaxing works for some people, but it sucked for me. With heat stretched hair, you've got natural hair that can stay straight, have texture with wash n gos, and you never have to get a touch-up.:yep:
 
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