NATURALS who HATE BEING NATURAL!?!?

[laurenashLey]

My last relaxer was Nov 2007. I transitioned bc of color damage..and yes my hair is A LOT healthier..not really growing the way I wanted it to (just bought some mega tek and hr ago! lol)

I wear my hair wet 90% of the time, jus bun with cond. and olive oil or coconut oil..

I jus feel so unattractive with a bun!!!

I am really condsidering a relaxer after I get the length I want..

Anyone else agree? Or anyone who has some type of inspiratioN!?

 

[jada1111]

I don't understand. Do you want to STAY natural or are you just growing out your hair until your next relaxer?

 

[AtlantaJJ]

You are in that crazy in between length right now, I am at the same point. Find some protective styles to get you through other than the ponytail until you can grow out. I am wearing wigs, that's what a lot of ladies do, or you can get braids or some even get sew in weaves to help grow out past that awkward length.

 

[laurenashLey]

I am 100% completely natural..
My intentions were to stay that way..

 

[luxe.li.]

So what you are saying is you are natural and when you get to the desired length, whether it takes some months or a year, then you'll relax??

 

[Irresistible]

well if you actually hate being natural like the thread title says

then there is only one answer

a relaxer

but if your just hating the bun, well then there are many options to still stay natural

if your looking for a straight look, why not flat iron or press first?

 

[aribell]

I understand where you're coming from. Been natural for about 5 years, and while I wouldn't say that I hate it, I don't really like it and think I look better with straight hair, which is why I have often worn braids. I'm seriously thinking about relaxing when I get to BSL.

The thing, though, about enjoying being natural, is learning how to do different styles. Almost any natural style is a protective style, which is a big plus. You also don't have to worry about stretching or doing special treatments for the chemicals in your hair (as long as it's not dyed). And also, if you wait it out, as your hair gets longer you have even more styles to choose from. Sera25's fotki is pretty great for inspiration.

 

[laurenashLey]

yes...thats the current path I am on..
I just dont know what to do with it anymore. Maybe ill like my hair when its longer and natural..I am just very confused, with all of this..

I think im trying so hard to do whats right by my hair..but really I am not happy and I am not seeing the results I want.

 

[AtlantaJJ]

yes...thats the current path I am on..
I just dont know what to do with it anymore. Maybe ill like my hair when its longer and natural..I am just very confused, with all of this..

I think im trying so hard to do whats right by my hair..but really I am not happy and I am not seeing the results I want.

There are so many threads on this board that help with moisture balance, tricks to help loosen curls, conditioning methods to help retain length, etc.

This board and its many natural members have made my journey a lot smoother and I know when my hair gets longer I will have so many more options available to me.

Hang around the board and read, it will help I promise

 

[aribell]

yes...thats the current path I am on..
I just dont know what to do with it anymore. Maybe ill like my hair when its longer and natural..I am just very confused, with all of this..

I think im trying so hard to do whats right by my hair..but really I am not happy and I am not seeing the results I want.

This isn't directed toward the poster of the quote, but the bolded reminded me that we can have unrealistic expectations of what going natural is going to do for us. Natural hair requires a lot of attention and maintenence, too...it's just whether you'd rather deal with stretching over knots and tangles, or whether you prefer twists to buns, etc. It also depends on the texture of your hair.

I was natural for 5 years, and I never retained any length until LHCF, and am just now approaching APL. So, I'd just say that if you prefer to be relaxed then relax. There are a lot of reasons to go natural, but being natural isn't necessarily going to give you an edge on growth or retention.

 

[blqhrt]

I feel your pain! I bc'd about 6 years ago. Loved my twa for wash n go's. Then came a long transition phase-to short to bun, but too long to wear wet. I was frustrated style wise but I was in love with how my hair felt. I couldn't keep my hands off. When it was finally long enough I found myself slapping it into a ponytail every day (pre-LHCF). Needless to say that got boring really quick. Sometimes I would wash/blow/press for a straight look. But I hated all the product I had to use to achieve it. Fast forward--> After a few weeks of contemplation, I decide to relax. That was April 2008 and I haven't looked back. I say all of this to say that this is a very personal decision for YOU and your hair. BTW I just relaxed my hair for the 3rd time since last year (April, October, January) so I still consider myself somewhat natural maybe even texlaxed. Make sure whatever you decide that your hair's health is one of the top priorities.

 

[BostonMaria]

well if you actually hate being natural like the thread title says

then there is only one answer

a relaxer

but if your just hating the bun, well then there are many options to still stay natural

if your looking for a straight look, why not flat iron or press first?

I was going to suggest the same thing. If you don't like being natural you should relax your hair. There's no sense in torturing yourself, especially if you're not feeling good about it. There are tons of threads that can help you on that journey if you decide to relax. Do what makes you happy

If its the bun, why don't you use heat? I mix it up. In a month I will wear a bun one day, wash and go the next, a few days later I wear my hair straight for about 5 days, etc. Variety is key for me.

Oh and my answer is: being natural is the only way for me. There's no other option.

 

[Likeyouneverseenme]

It's an ongoing love hate relationship right here.
I love my hair because it is natural, healthy and thick.
I hate it because it's short and my curls live their own life.
Maybe you will get a better "relationship" with your hair once it is longer, you'll be able to wear more versatile styles and the curl pattern might loosen up a little thus, easier to manage.
Everyone goes through rough patches with our hair. Maybe next month you'll feel different.

 

[Born Again Natural]

ADVOCATE FOR NATURAL HAIR HERE!!!

I've been natural for 5yrs and I feel like my hair is more versatile than ever. Although I have in the past kept my hair straight 60% of the time (started the 09' Bootcamp-no direct heat), its always relieving that I can just wash my hair and it can go back to it's natural state.

I'm confidant you'll begin to love it...and if you don't, well everything is not for everyone.

Whatever you choose whether to stay natural or not I wish you HHG!

 

[Irresistible]

I feel your pain! I bc'd about 6 years ago. Loved my twa for wash n go's. Then came a long transition phase-to short to bun, but too long to wear wet. I was frustrated style wise but I was in love with how my hair felt. I couldn't keep my hands off. When it was finally long enough I found myself slapping it into a ponytail every day (pre-LHCF). Needless to say that got boring really quick. Sometimes I would wash/blow/press for a straight look. But I hated all the product I had to use to achieve it. Fast forward--> After a few weeks of contemplation, I decide to relax. That was April 2008 and I haven't looked back. I say all of this to say that this is a very personal decision for YOU and your hair. BTW I just relaxed my hair for the 3rd time since last year (April, October, January) so I still consider myself somewhat natural maybe even texlaxed. Make sure whatever you decide that your hair's health is one of the top priorities.

yeah texlaxed would be more correct

I dont think there is a such thing as 'somewhat natural' once you relax

or at least it wouldnt be a technically correct way of word usage

 

[msa]

I think you should give your natural hair a fair chance before you relax, just so you can be sure that you've maxed out its potential.

You say you wear a bun all the time. Have you tried any other styles? Twist outs, braid outs, bantu knot outs (my fave, makes a cute curly fro), flat ironing, cornrows, fro, puff, rollerset, curlformers, flexirod set? Experiment some and see what your hair can do. Certain styles may look really good at the length you have now but they won't once your hair gets longer.

Also, wearing your hair in a wet bun all the time may be affecting your length retention. Contrary to popular belief, most people's natural hair is not as strong as wire. It's actually pretty fragile. So, pulling your hair back the same way could be causing breakage in certain areas. And, bunning without detangling well can lead to tangles, which can lead to breakage.

Anyway, take some time and see what your can really do. It will probably surprise you. And, if you try everything and you still don't like it, then at least you know you tried.

 

[amara11]

I say, if you truly hate being natural, you should relax.

 

[IntelligenceisBeautiful]

um, I have a love/hate relationship. Days I love it, days I don't. I go back and forth b/n wanting a relaxer and not wanting one. I wish I could weave or braid when I feel like this but my hairline can't handle either...sigh. I feel your pain, but I'm not even sure I want a relaxer, just bigger natural hair.