Naturals- please get in here and help me help my mama!

[teacherjess]

I am a relaxed 4something (in other words, ill equipped to help my mama) so I need some tips from all you beautiful, lovely naturals.

My mom is a natural but she is very old school and usually presses her hair straight each week. After I got on LHCF, I finally convinced her to stop using all that grease and heat & told her that it is very damaging. She recently took my advice (thank God), but now she really doesn't know what to do w/ her hair. I've never been good w/ hair typing so I really don't know what she is...her hair in its natural state is soft to the touch, more manageable than mine, and a regular- tooth comb can go through it without problems and heartbreak. She has no distinct curl definition or wave pattern though...it just looks big, dry, and "frizzy" (I apologize if the word choice offends-- I don't mean to-- just trying to paint a picture)
... yet its soft to the touch. Nothing tightly coiled on her head at all.

Anyway, she is interested in wearing a wash n' go, but wants to know what products/techniques to put on it that would help with curl definition. I told her about some of the products I heard about on here, like the Mixed Chicks line and Kinky Curly, but they don't sell these where we live.
What widely available products should she be trying? It has to be something from like a Target, Sally's, or from a BSS...she won't order online. Thanks!

 

[prettybyrd]

I can sing praises of this product all day long - Paul Mitchell Foaming Pommade. She should run some of this on her hair while wet (or damp) and finger it through. A little light oil applied in conjunction will keep it from being crunchy in case she uses too much.

HTH

ETA: She should be able to find this in any salon that sells Paul Mitchell Products. Maybe Sally's has a knock-off?

 

[kmn1980]

Um, in my WNG days, I would just use Dudley's Moisture Retainer because it's water based so the curl definition will be there and it is super moisturizing for my hair. I don't use anything commercial for "hold" because I don't like the crunchiness.

 

[discodumpling]

Pics please...quite honestly after WEEKLY presses i'm not sure a satifactory WNG can be achieved. But the ladies of LHCF will need pics to determine.

 

[teacherjess]

I'll try to get a pic of her hair and post it. If she knew I was putting it on the internet though (even for helpful purposes), she would :killlurk:
LOL

 

[bravenewgirl87]

They sell Curls, Miss Jessie's and Jane Carter at Target now. Go to these companies official website to get a listing of which Target stores carry the products. Also, you can buy Kinky-Curly at Wholefoods Market

 

[teacherjess]

The stores where we live really don't cater to our hair needs unfortunately. I have tried to find Miss Jessies and Jane Carter at Target stores here but no luck. We also don't have a whole foods store here. Maybe we should move...lol
Thanks anyway for the suggestions!

 

[curlyninjagirl]

Some of my fave drugstore conditioners are: Suave Naturals, Yes to Carrots (if you have a walgreens) and Nexxus Humectress. Any conditioner will do, in my opinion, I feel it's more about technique. Plus I mix coconut oil and honey in them. To acheive the definition in my avatar and pics and cut back on the frizzies I do the following:

1. Wash hair one section at a time focusing on scalp only and letting the shampoo run down as I rinse (I twist hair in 6 parts)
2. Load up on conditioner and finger detangle, then DC for an hour in twists.
3. Then rinse the twists and airdry them with my satin scarf. (After rinsing sometimes I moisturize with a creamy leave-in by creme of nature and seal with coconut oil)
4. When the twist are dry, I gently unravel them and gently shape them into desired style that doesn't disturb the waves and curls too much.
5. Most times I'll pull back the front with a head band or roll-twist or flat twist the front for a look similar to this (not me):
http://www.flickr.com/photos/symplicated/4321247360/

 

[Nonie]

My mom's regimen used to be a lot like your mom's. She'd wash her hair and then pass a hot comb through it not to straighten it fully but just make it comb-able. She would use grease as her moisturizer too. And when she came to visit me, I nearly died watching her yank a comb through her dry hair. It sounded like she could start a fire any minute! Also her hair felt so dry:

So I introduced her to shampooing with a moisturizing shampoo and then DCing with heat and then after towel drying her hair, she applied S Curl, taking small sections at a time and spraying them and combing through. The S Curl makes combing so easy. My mom doesn't care about hair looking long. She just wants easy to manage afro. Well, what a difference this made!

Her hair looked great but by the time all the moisture dried, it felt rough. That's the norm when S Curl is applied to damp hair; it dries up hard. So at night, she applied more S Curl to her now fully dry hair, taking a section big enough for a fat braid, spraying it to make it soft, combing it and then plaiting it. This time the hair felt very soft--and that's how it it when you apply it to dry hair. She then put on a plastic cap and went to bed. In the morning when she undid the plaits, her hair was so easy to comb, she couldn't believe it. It was so soft, combed so easily and she had the cutest afro ever. She didn't need to pat it into shape. It just formed a lovely round shape with no effort. And what was even better is she didn't need to moisturize again till wash day. As long as she braided it and baggied at night, she could be sure of soft, easy to comb, moisturized hair in the morning.

She also cut back on heat coz until then she'd either use a curling iron to set her hair or would hot comb it and while the hair was still hot, put on curlers to set it, when she wanted a different look. Well, I introduced her to Curlformers and she found she could get a similar look with them--and that's without even a dryer! Just airdrying. This was our first time using Curlformers, we were not sure what we were doing, but I think we did OK:

This new regimen cut the time she spends on her hair by a huge chunk and she couldn't be more grateful.

 

[Nonie]

Pics please...quite honestly after WEEKLY presses i'm not sure a satifactory WNG can be achieved. But the ladies of LHCF will need pics to determine.

Good point. I didn't even think about heat damage. If your mom has it, then she may not be able to get coily/wavy WNGs or even get coils and her hair may not absorb the S Curl so she might be juice dripping slick. If her hair isn't damaged then she can probably get WNG if she's got big coils, or shingle if her hair is kinky. She's also got the option of wearing twist-outs and braid-outs which would give another look that she might like.

 

[ashessehsa]

I WNG most of the week during the summer months. I use Organics Root Stimulator Wrap/Set Mousse on my hair after co-washing with Tresseme Flawless Curls conditioner. Once my hair air-dries, it's still soft and I don't need to use detangler. Even at the end of the day, my hair is still shiny and curly.

 

[teacherjess]

Thanks for the tips, everyone! Nonie, your mom's hair looks great! I am so glad that my mom has finally at least embraced her natural texture. I want her to see the style and beauty options before she gets frustrated and returns to the heat & grease method.

I tried to tell her about co- washing and braidouts, but she's not quite there yet. She has some S-Curl, but she doesn't like using it because in the event she decides to press it, it doesn't work with the s- curl and she gets frustrated because she has to re-wash.

When she first gets out the shower, before any product is added, she has some places that have defined, cute little spiral curls. She and I both would like her whole head to look like that. All the other places are just frizzy and dry with no spiral or curl definition. I've informed her that those places are probably heat damaged.

 

[Nonie]

Thanks for the tips, everyone! Nonie, your mom's hair looks great! I am so glad that my mom has finally at least embraced her natural texture. I want her to see the style and beauty options before she gets frustrated and returns to the heat & grease method.

I tried to tell her about co- washing and braidouts, but she's not quite there yet. She has some S-Curl, but she doesn't like using it because in the event she decides to press it, it doesn't work with the s- curl and she gets frustrated because she has to re-wash.

When she first gets out the shower, before any product is added, she has some places that have defined, cute little spiral curls. She and I both would like her whole head to look like that. All the other places are just frizzy and dry with no spiral or curl definition. I've informed her that those places are probably heat damaged.

How long is your mom's hair? Have you ever tried a twist-out. I just think that might help even things out a bit. Also since she seems to like "straight" hair, please try Curlformers. Even if you have the dilemma I had when I did them on my hair--although I didn't experiment with products so I haven't given up--whereby I couldn't separate them without my hair looking frizzy, and so had to go to work looking like I didn't know any better (that once you take curlers out of your hair, you're supposed to style the hair :crazy: )

...you could probably fold/twist and pin the "tubes" in a way that looks like this finger curl pinned bun I did on straightened hair. (It looks as if I used a curling iron, but all I did was wrap my straightened hair around my fingers in random directions and pin it in place.):

I think the next time I use CFs, if I still can't separate the "tubes", I will turn it into a cute updo.

 

[Blkrose]

Your mom's hair sounds like my mom's hair. With the years of heat damage even after being natural for yeeaaarrrr's its just now showing curl's and even then only when conditioner is in it . So I would say that its going to take some time and quite a few DC, Leave- In Conditioner and Moisture, Moisture, Moisture. Right now she keeps it in twists one of the reasons because her husband doesnt like weave. My problem with my mom is she's inconsistent and will pick up anything sitting around to put in her hair . She's still a work in progress but shes learning . Now i got to work on her staying away from color or rather coloring naturally .