naturals, DRY HAIR = BAD HAIR??

[kurlybella]

okay, not really, but i wanted to know if others get what i'm saying...

i'm natural and the hair picture you see below in my siggy, no one saw again after my hair was relaxed when i was 12.

my hair was very dry and damaged with a relaxer though like most, i had no idea! erplexed

once i decided to go natural in college it was an uphill battle. i, at times, was more than fustrated with these napps!! i wanted to run to the nearest sallys, buy a relaxer and call it a day. but i knew that's not what i wanted. i had to stick it out.

it took me almost a year to get a grip on the whole "being natural" thing...meaning, i struggled with styles and mostly moisture. i stalked hair boards and bought hair mags to no avail. because of this, i covered my hair up with a curly sew in for a while after my bc. then i wore my hair out for about a year, but pressed.

my clarity moment came when i finally learned how to REALLY moisturize my hair and at that same moment had thoughts of comments made about my hair in past years since going natural.

when i first went natural, someone very close to me would always comment on how dry and hard my hair looked. when thinking about these comments, i realized then, that that's also possibly where a lot of this whole -- bad hair -- idea comes from -- not all, but some.

my hair looks completely different when it was lacking moisture and was constantly dry.

now, this is NOT about hair texture, but i wanted to point out that when your hair is dry and dull and lacking a protein and moisture balance (with any texture), then technically speaking, yes, your hair is bad...i know you ladies get what i'm saying. so it looks bad and it's not healthy. i didn't know how to care for my hair!! it was dry and a mess and quite frankly ugly.

i was thinking about how many little black girls are home with a mom dragging a comb through her dry hair, it's snapping all over the place and covered with grease. when i do see this in person...thin edges on toddlers and dry ponytails with the black rubber bands, i cringe.

we just do not know how to take care of our hair... we think vaseline = moisture. i know it's been said over and over again, but it's so f'd up!

and i know that lots of people think hair is bad because it's just plain not "white" hair, but there a lot of blacks who think hair is "bad" and i believe that ONE OF THE reasons they think it's bad because it's lacking moisture and the hair they have to manage, whether it be their own or their child's, is just plain dry! and sadly, they don't know how to handle the problem.

i realized that the only problem i've ever had with my hair, and the only problem my parents had with it, though i didn't know it at the time, and they didn't know it, was that it was just...dry. D-R-Y. Lord knows co-washing, clarifying, and some water, glycerin and scurl can save the day!

there are some naturals i've met that wanted to give up. the complaint was mostly "my hair is so dry!" having been there, i helped out and told them, your hair isn't bad, it's dry! they found that moisture balance and it was like bam! night and day. the ladies were happy to be nappy!

i'm not trying to be dramatic, but sometimes i think about it and i'm like, wow, if we only knew this simple thing a long time ago!

i know i'm babbling and all over the place, but i wanted to know how you ladies feel about that as well.

that for some bad hair = dry hair.

 

[JustKiya]

I can't disagree with you - my hair used to be 'bad' - it was just dry, and suffocating under the cones and grease I was slapping on it to try to make it 'healthy'. It's so sad, and you are so right - moisture is what our hair desperately needs.

It's why so many folks had hair longer than they ever did before with a jheri curl!

 

[AtlantaJJ]

I totally understand what you are saying...one fine member on this board hipped me to using aloe on my hair...then I learned if you add a squirt of glycerine in there with some distilled water, you got moisture. Now I am able to take my finger and twist sprial curls all over my head.

I didn't know my hair could do that!

ETA: point being, once I figured out how to give my hair moisture, it softened up and the curl pattern became more defined. It also helps to reduce shrinkage ... if that's the effect I'm looking for.

 

[kurlybella]

I totally understand what you are saying...one fine member on this board hipped me to using aloe on my hair...then I learned if you add a squirt of glycerine in there with some distilled water, you got moisture. Now I am able to take my finger and twist sprial curls all over my head.

I didn't know my hair could do that!

yesss! i've had so many "i didn't know" moments with my hair that some have been downright emotional.

it's kinda like a child being told they are stupid and then making an A on a test...you know that something is there that everyone else told you was not...

or mama tells girls she has bad hair, girl grows up and learns how to care for her napps and hair feels like cotton to the touch...it really is something!

i love my hair! i love it. and i'm so glad i can say that as a black woman.

i'm so glad i'm on the other side! i'm not on the dark side where people believe our hair is ugly and bad.

 

[AtlantaJJ]

yesss! i've had so many "i didn't know" moments with my hair that some have been downright emotional.

it's kinda like a child being told they are stupid and then making an A on a test...you know that something is there that everyone else told you was not...

or mama tells you you have bad hair, girl grows up and learns how to care for her napps and hair feels like cotton to the touch...it really is something!

i love my hair! i love it. and i'm so glad i can say that as a black woman.

i'm so glad i'm on the other side! i'm not on the dark side where people believe our hair is ugly and bad.

I'm glad to be there with you sista!! This is a healing journey for me for sure...its all about self love and acceptance.

 

[MD_Lady]

I agree with you 110% ladylady. It just goes to show that most people have a maintenance problem more so than a hair problem.

 

[lilsparkle825]

YUP! whether natural or relaxed, moisture can completely transform your hair from "good" to "bad". when i skip a day of moisturizing i look a HAM with a TWA. when i dont, well....look at my avi.

 

[LadyKaypnyc]

ITA, most black people are walking around with antiquated notions of how to care for our hair, which results in dry, damaged, over processed hair.

 

[danigurl18]

ITA, most black people are walking around with antiquated notions of how to care for our hair, which results in dry, damaged, over processed hair.

That's the truth!!! With some knowledge, a lot of damaged heads could be saved!!!

 

[remnant]

I agree with you ladies it is just like skin : dry dry skin is bad skin

 

[adw425]

I know exactly what you are saying. In my very first post on LHCF, I said that my hair was the coarsest, driest, woolliest, shrunkenest mess in the history of the world and my hair did not turn the corner until I learned that moisture, moisture, moisture and moisture retention was the key to manageable hair and more. In that post, I said I broke big rake combs and I did. I broke big rake combs trying to get a comb through my hair, so that should tell you something. I was slapping moisturizers, oils, pomades, serums and butters on dry hair and my hair was drying out even more so my answer was to press it to be able to get a comb through it and manage it. I was using heat on my hair daily and my hair got worse and worse, drier and drier, coarser and coarser....

It wasn't until a thread I read in October 2005 that talked about CO washing, putting on moisturizer/leave-in on wet hair and sealing it in with a butter, oil or pomade (minus beeswax, petroleum or mineral oil) that my hair turned a corner. I did this one evening and the first major thing was that I was able to detangle my hair with relative ease. The very next day was the first time I experienced manageable hair after transitioning for two years. I woke up the next morning and my hair was super hydrated, soft, detangled and was hanging down and not drawing up to within an inch of its life and it stayed that way all day.

My hair was completely transformed. It was truly a miracle for me. I couldn't even believe it was my hair and when I went to work, a girl I worked with for years with whom I had a nodding acquaintance, walked by me and stopped and said: "I didn't realize you had such nice hair." Once I got moisture into my hair three years ago, I never again used the pressing comb and have flat-ironed maybe seven times. Overnight, I went from literally having the worst of woolly/coarse hair to hair that I get compliments on almost daily and the solution was such a simple one. However, when I try to explain this to people -- lets just say who are not familiar with good, proper haircare -- I just get waved off or clucked at. They do not believe that it is really that simple. I am glad someone started a thread about this as even three years later, it is still kind of an emotional thing to/with me.

 

[SUZIEq]

Can u share what u use for moisturizing your hair and how often? If it is not too much can u also share your regimen? Thanks much!

I know exactly what you are saying. In my very first post on LHC, I said that my hair was the coarsest, driest, woolliest, shrunkenest mess in the history of the world and my hair did not turn the corner until I learned that moisture, moisture, moisture and moisture retention was the key to manageable hair and more. In that post, I said I broke big rake combs and I did. I broke big rake combs trying to get a comb through my hair, so that should tell you something. I was slapping moisturizers, oils, pomades, serums and butters on dry hair and my hair was drying out even more so my answer was to press it to be able to get a comb through it and manage it. I was using heat on my hair daily and my hair got worse and worse, drier and drier, coarser and coarser....

It wasn't until a thread I read in October 2005 that talked about CO washing, putting on moisturizer/leave-in on wet hair and sealing it in with a butter, oil or pomade (minus beeswax, petroleum or mineral oil) that my hair turned a corner. I did this one evening and the first major thing was that I was able to detangle my hair with relative ease. The very next day was the first time I experienced manageable hair after transitioning for two years. I woke up the next morning and my hair was super hydrated, soft, detangled and was hanging down and not drawing up to within an inch of its life and it stayed that way all day.

My hair was completely transformed. It was truly a miracle for me. I couldn't even believe it was my hair and when I went to work, a girl I worked with for years with whom I had a nodding acquaintance, walked by me and stopped and said: "I didn't realize you had such nice hair." Once I got moisture into my hair three years ago, I never again used the pressing comb and have flat-ironed maybe seven times. Overnight, I went from literally having the worst of woolly/coarse hair to hair that I get compliments on almost daily and the solution was such a simple one. However, when I try to explain this to people -- lets just say who are not familiar with good, proper haircare -- I just get waved off or clucked at. They do not believe that it is really that simple. I am glad someone started a thread about this as even three years later, it is still kind of an emotional thing to/with me.

 

[bravenewgirl87]

I actually started a thread about this not too long ago. In it I said that is what I personally took the dominicans statements to be when they said black people have bad hair. Clearly, we do if its looking like the way you described or the way I've seen hair, then its BAD HAIR! Not racist... just terrible looking.

 

[adw425]

Can u share what u use for moisturizing your hair and how often? If it is not too much can u also share your regimen? Thanks much!

I CO wash every evening lately with White Rain sea kelp or passionflower to which I add food grade aloe vera and honey a couple times a week. I spray my homemade aloe vera spritz/mist on, layer on a bit of creamy leave-in (Surya volume reducer with tucuma butter or MOP or a bit of both together) and seal. Sometimes I seal with a butter (I usually mix several together like shea, mowrah and wheat germ) or an oil like avocado or a pomade like Nature's Blessing or Oyins Burnt Sugar. However, on Wednesday, Thursday and Friday of last week, I did an experiment and sealed with Trader Joes (skincare) aloe vera and my hair turned out amazing the next day. I detangle (the shower comb glides right through my hair), make a single braid and I tie my hair down with a silk or satin scarf for the night. The next day I have perfectly flat (not poufy at all) smooth, shiny hair. I wash on Saturday, use a keratin conditioner and then deep condition. I will add powdered herbs (nettle, burdock, rosemary, irish moss mixture), aloe, honey, and either grapeseed oil or shea butter to my deep conditioner.

 

[SUZIEq]

Thanks so much for responding! I appreciate it!!

I CO wash every evening lately with White Rain sea kelp or passionflower to which I add food grade aloe vera and honey a couple times a week. I spray my homemade aloe vera spritz/mist on, layer on a bit of creamy leave-in (Surya volume reducer with tucuma butter or MOP or a bit of both together) and seal. Sometimes I seal with a butter (I usually mix several together like shea, mowrah and wheat germ) or an oil like avocado or a pomade like Nature's Blessing or Oyins Burnt Sugar. However, on Wednesday, Thursday and Friday of last week, I did an experiment and sealed with Trader Joes (skincare) aloe vera and my hair turned out amazing the next day. I detangle (the shower comb glides right through my hair), make a single braid and I tie my hair down with a silk or satin scarf for the night. The next day I have perfectly flat (not poufy at all) smooth, shiny hair. I wash on Saturday, use a keratin conditioner and then deep condition. I will add powdered herbs (nettle, burdock, rosemary, irish moss mixture), aloe, honey, and either grapeseed oil or shea butter to my deep conditioner.

 

[AtlantaJJ]

I CO wash every evening lately with White Rain sea kelp or passionflower to which I add food grade aloe vera and honey a couple times a week. I spray my homemade aloe vera spritz/mist on, layer on a bit of creamy leave-in (Surya volume reducer with tucuma butter or MOP or a bit of both together) and seal. Sometimes I seal with a butter (I usually mix several together like shea, mowrah and wheat germ) or an oil like avocado or a pomade like Nature's Blessing or Oyins Burnt Sugar. However, on Wednesday, Thursday and Friday of last week, I did an experiment and sealed with Trader Joes (skincare) aloe vera and my hair turned out amazing the next day. I detangle (the shower comb glides right through my hair), make a single braid and I tie my hair down with a silk or satin scarf for the night. The next day I have perfectly flat (not poufy at all) smooth, shiny hair. I wash on Saturday, use a keratin conditioner and then deep condition. I will add powdered herbs (nettle, burdock, rosemary, irish moss mixture), aloe, honey, and either grapeseed oil or shea butter to my deep conditioner.

Her mixtures make me want to eat them rather than put them on my hair, so healthy!!

 

[Duchesse]

This was seriously one of the best posts that I have read. I was just looking at my hair thinking it was looking uber crusty....then I went and spritzed heavily with my moisture mix and put coconut oil on it..now I'm feeling super soft and silky. It's crazy how something as simple as adding moisture makes such a difference, and crazy how often i forget to moisturize my hair erplexed.

I know exactly what you are saying. In my very first post on LHCF, I said that my hair was the coarsest, driest, woolliest, shrunkenest mess in the history of the world and my hair did not turn the corner until I learned that moisture, moisture, moisture and moisture retention was the key to manageable hair and more. In that post, I said I broke big rake combs and I did. I broke big rake combs trying to get a comb through my hair, so that should tell you something. I was slapping moisturizers, oils, pomades, serums and butters on dry hair and my hair was drying out even more so my answer was to press it to be able to get a comb through it and manage it. I was using heat on my hair daily and my hair got worse and worse, drier and drier, coarser and coarser....

It wasn't until a thread I read in October 2005 that talked about CO washing, putting on moisturizer/leave-in on wet hair and sealing it in with a butter, oil or pomade (minus beeswax, petroleum or mineral oil) that my hair turned a corner. I did this one evening and the first major thing was that I was able to detangle my hair with relative ease. The very next day was the first time I experienced manageable hair after transitioning for two years. I woke up the next morning and my hair was super hydrated, soft, detangled and was hanging down and not drawing up to within an inch of its life and it stayed that way all day.

My hair was completely transformed. It was truly a miracle for me. I couldn't even believe it was my hair and when I went to work, a girl I worked with for years with whom I had a nodding acquaintance, walked by me and stopped and said: "I didn't realize you had such nice hair." Once I got moisture into my hair three years ago, I never again used the pressing comb and have flat-ironed maybe seven times. Overnight, I went from literally having the worst of woolly/coarse hair to hair that I get compliments on almost daily and the solution was such a simple one. However, when I try to explain this to people -- lets just say who are not familiar with good, proper haircare -- I just get waved off or clucked at. They do not believe that it is really that simple. I am glad someone started a thread about this as even three years later, it is still kind of an emotional thing to/with me.

 

[SEMO]

When my hair is lacking moisture it is a hot mess. It's dry, tangly, frizzy and hard to style. When it's properly moisturized it behaves much better.