Girl, tell me about it. I know what you mean.
I have been on this board for so long and can never show any true progress length wise because I have impulsively cut off all my relaxed hair at least 3 times, grow out my natural hair to APL (my hair grows much faster natural than it does relaxed) and then end up relaxing it again because the grass always seems greener on the other side. If my natural hair had any curl pattern to it, and was soft and easy to handle like so many naturals I see on here and on youtube, I could stay natural forever. Unfortunately, as soon as my hair starts growing long and require more time than I can give, I end up relaxing it, regret it and cut if off again. Relaxed hair is too soft for me when wet, and breaks easier. I LOVE how my natural hair feels when wet and how big it gets when dry but I cannot handle the in between. The bottom line though..., if I want to see length pretty quick, my option is to stay natural because based on the past, too many setbacks happen when relaxed. I am pretty close to BSL in 18 months natural and before, it took me years to get to BSL (only once, lol) when I relax.
BKT is not an option for me. I did it once and my hair was so damaged from the process. I also do not like my hair too straight (it has no body), and the whole flat ironing process is too long for me. I never flatiron my hair when relax. I just want a very easy hair routine that I can keep up with. Texlaxing might be an option but then again, applying relaxer to the root for touch ups, might lead to setbacks
. I guess I am just gonna have to stay in my wigs for now and leave my hair alone. I wash once a week, braid it up and that's it
.