Natural Ladies... school me.

[Caramela]

I have been relaxed now for 24 years. It was never my choice and I am seriously considering going natural. Now, since my hair is mid-back length, BC-ing will be (inevitably) a huge shock to my (and my husband's system) - you should have seen his face when I told him I might be doing this... Anyway, my dream is to have big soft beautiful natural hair.
I would like some 101's on the transition, bc and natural grow out processes. What things should I know and/or consider before making this very BIG step in my hair journey. I'm not 100% sold because I don't know what to expect ... so I'm looking for your personal experiences... especially those who had longer lengths. What is the adjustment like?
Thanks for any and all input.

 

[tinkat]

My hair was just shoulder length before I decided to transtion. But I think for anyone its more of a mental transtion than it is the physical one. If you want to keep length then you can transtion and gradually trim off hair. I personally did not want to manipulate my hair so I just wore weaves, I know some people prefer not to wear it though. My hair grew so much faster with the weaves. It was almost a year before I cut all the relax hair out and I am shoulder length now, should be armpit length at the end of the year. The best thing to do is to just search threads, look a youtube videos, fotkis, and websites like motowngirl.com. You have to really want to do it.

 

[prettywhitty]

I'm not natural yet, but I am transitioning. It's been almost 6 months since my last relaxer. I tried transitioning a few years ago, but I was not ready, and I relaxed again. I can tell you that I am committed to the process this time. I am almost ready to chop, but I am really close to BSL and my hair has never been this long. I am also concerned that I wouldn't look attractive with hair thatshort. It is definitely a mental transition. I know that I can grow my hair to this length again, natural. The biggest challenge is dealing with the two textures. Low manipulation is best. Best to you, I'm sure you will make the best decision for you.

 

[Robin41]

Hey, Caramela! The biggest surprise to me during my transition was that I had to adjust my mental attitude about hair. I didn't realize how ingrained it was in my head that to be beautiful, I had to have straight, long hair and it took some getting used to the idea that I can be just as fabulous with short, kinky hair. It took a while, actually, but eventually I got it together.

As for the hair itself, right away I loved the new texture. I started transitioning when my hair was about shoulder length. I wore braids and did a lot of bunning for a year and then got so sick of looking at my straggly, stringy ends and finally had them cut off. My hair was not very long but I loved the new look, the new feel, and how incredibly healthy my hair looked.

Now, after two years of being natural, my hair is just getting to the point where it's long enough to look good in a wash and go or puff or whatever I want to do with it and I LOVE IT! I don't think I'll ever go back to relaxing my hair again. I had to do a lot of research here on the board and experiment with a ton of different products before I found my staples that really hold my look together for me, but it was definitely worth it for me.

Good luck with whatever you decide to do. Please keep us posted!

 

[Sugarhoney]

I have been relaxed now for 24 years. It was never my choice and I am seriously considering going natural. Now, since my hair is mid-back length, BC-ing will be (inevitably) a huge shock to my (and my husband's system) - you should have seen his face when I told him I might be doing this... Anyway, my dream is to have big soft beautiful natural hair.
I would like some 101's on the transition, bc and natural grow out processes. What things should I know and/or consider before making this very BIG step in my hair journey. I'm not 100% sold because I don't know what to expect ... so I'm looking for your personal experiences... especially those who had longer lengths. What is the adjustment like?
Thanks for any and all input.

BC'ing will be a big shock to everyone, but if you feel like it will be too much to deal with looks-wise and emotionally, then I would opt for transitioning. I BC'ed and it was a very spiritual experince for me, and it felt so freeing to cut off all of that relaxed hair and see the me that I never knew! (I never knew what my real hair type was, because I was relaxed at 10 y/o.) But on the other hand I wish I would of transitioned, because I couldn't handle short hair and family really gave me a hard time for chopping my arm-pit length relaxed hair off. It was awful!

But you should weight the pros with the cons before you decide to go natural or not. Decide if you want to go mainly au natural or flat iron often. Skip relaxing for 2-3 months and see how you like your natural hair (not sure how long you strecth or if you do that all). Look at natural's fotki's for inspiration.

I prefer my hair natural because it is versitale, and easier for me to do, personally. It feels much softer, thicker and healthier. Plus, I can flat iron my hair to give me that relaxed look at anytime that I want! It is the best or both worlds, IMO. But maybe texlaxing would be a good option too, you won't have to deal with taming frizz or the bulkiness, and combing with be less time consuming.

Just do your research and try things out. If you transition, texlax, or go natural you can always go back to relaxing at anytime. I hope that helped.

 

[NewYorkgyrl]

The number one thing I would say is to really think hard about your reasons for going natural. I say this because the transition can be hard...very hard for some people. And I have read may post by ladies on this board that give up during their transition when it gets tough. So keep thinking about why you are doing it in the first place, especially during the tough times and will surely help you through...trust me.

Find other things about yourself to praise (your eyes, skin, smile, etc...) Alot of people have stated that they do not feel as though they look their best during their transition...so keep focusing and reaffirming other positive values about you so that it does not affect you or discourage you from your transitioning.

Accessories are your friend.....trust me on that one. A nice pair of earings or cute scarf can make a simple hairstyle look great!



I will think of more for later......

 

[Transformer]

I think going natural or growing your hair out is made more difficult or manageable by finding a style you can live with. For me is was doing two strand twists every three weeks that made the transition easier. I would encourage you to go natural just to be far...far...away from more chemicals....there's enough to go around in all other areas of our life, do we have to apply them directly to our hair.

As for hubby, I had been married for 16 years to a man that worshipped long hair. I did a drastic cut...I went to the 1 inch "man cut." It's funny but hubby and my Mom(long hair queen) stated it was the "cutest style I've ever had." I grew hair to APL again, but when I went to Japan cut it again due to the lack of stylist. Hubby got the scissors and did the cut after putting it in a ponytail. He was really O.K. with the decision.

He is now to trying to get my daughter (ponytail wearer) to cut her hair short. He's tired of seeing the ponytail, but she doesn't know what else to do with it!

 

[Transformer]

By the way, for the last three months I've rollerset my natural hair. 10 years wore the 1 inch afro, 5 years wash and go ringlets, and now the rollerset. So you can still get the "straight look" without a lot of unprotective intense heat.

 

[glam-]

I would say transition gradually- going from your long lengths to a super big chop will be a really big adjustment. I just kept my hair out of my way in half wigs and weaves until most of it was natural- then I cut off the relaxed ends. Obviously that is not for everyone, but for me I needed to at least be able to put it in a ponytail- even then I couldn't get a really good ponytail and that was frustrating. Start off by transitioning- you'll know when it is time to cut.

 

[MissJ]

When I started transitioning, my hair was longer, but with the two textures it was so much easier to break. The ends got really thin, so I got it cut twice which made it easier to manage before I finally did the BC. I didn't use heat. I couldn't rollerset, so I couldn't do any cute styles. I wore a headband almost every day to tame the 'fro that was lying underneath my relaxed hair. I could wear my hair in better styles after doing the BC, and I think that if I had BCed sooner, I would have more growth now, since I wouldn't have had to spend so much time struggling to manage bone straight and type 4 hair at the same time.

 

[Valerie]

I have been relaxed now for 24 years. It was never my choice and I am seriously considering going natural. Now, since my hair is mid-back length, BC-ing will be (inevitably) a huge shock to my (and my husband's system) - you should have seen his face when I told him I might be doing this... Anyway, my dream is to have big soft beautiful natural hair.
I would like some 101's on the transition, bc and natural grow out processes. What things should I know and/or consider before making this very BIG step in my hair journey. I'm not 100% sold because I don't know what to expect ... so I'm looking for your personal experiences... especially those who had longer lengths. What is the adjustment like?
Thanks for any and all input.

Caramela, you should transition gradually, put your hair in long braids or use weaves, so that when you get a lot of regrowth, you can trim 1 inch until you have removed your relaxed ends. I never had long relaxed hair at all, my hair would grow fine for two years until the bottom of my chin, then it would break. I started to use a texturalise and my hair grew to shoulder length, then it would break, so I stopped doing it and I allowed the hair to grow out, then I cut it short twice and I used to twist it every night until it was long enough to plait, now that was a difference stage, I started to put it in Chinese bumps (or inside Bunti Knots) and I daily rinsed. If you can keep your roots moist, it would be a lot easier to comb, also using twist outs, braid out. Flat twists, twists will disguise the relaxed and natural parts of your hair. If you go on www.growingafrohairlong.com, there are various methods to help you with transition and you will meet your goal to have long healthy natural hair.

 

[starfish79]

Toward the end of my relaxed life I went from MBL to SL and then toa chin length graduated bob. One day I just got sick of relaxing and decided I was going natural or bust! I think the decision was easier for me because I didn't try to transition with MBL hair. Maybe you can try gradual cuts before the BC. I never BC'd I just grew it out and cut about 2-3 inches off at a time. It was difficult dealing with two different textures though. By the end I was sooo happy to be rid of my relaxed ends! Good luck on your journey!!

 

[JustKiya]

I started out with APL relaxed hair, and cut it into a Halle Barry cut - I transitioned from that. I'm not sure how much it helps, going from long relaxed hair, to short relaxed hair, to short natural hair, but I would think it would be easier than going from long relaxed hair to short natural hair.

I also transitioned in braids - I basically did C&G without even knowing what the heck it was. I got braids (pen sized), and got them redone every 8 weeks, and trimmed every eight weeks while it was out. A year later, all the relaxed hair was gone, and I looked well put together the whole time.

Now, I'm not a very SUCCESSFUL transitioning story, as I had no clue how to deal with my loose, natural hair, and turned around and started locs about 9 months later. I transitioned again though, from locs to loose hair, and while I didn't have the 'mindshock' of going from relaxed to natural, I DID have the shock of losing all that hair - I went from APL to earlength (again! Dang, what is it with me and APL?? ) I actually think the loss of length might be harder to deal with than the shift in texture. I STILL whinge about how short my hair is, and I don't LIKE wearing my two strand twists out because I think they are too short and make my face look fatter, etc, etc.....errybody else thinks they are cute though. But, it's because when I had hair hanging around my face, I was used to it brushing my shoulders, not my cheekbones....

I think, though, if you accept that there is going to be a transition time - not just the time it takes your hair to grow, but also the transition of your favorite styles, the transition of seeing yourself with new hair, the transition of finding new products and new techniques - that it will go a LOT easier. Don't expect anything that works now to keep working (though it might) and don't be suprised if some things that you hair hates NOW, it'll love then (though, it might still hate em, too). Figure out styles that you are looking FORWARD to trying that you can't do now. Start stalking potential hair twins early.

Good luck though - I'm sure you'll be able to pull it off....

 

[bluediamond0829]

im 5 months into my transition and no its not easy at all. Its difficult at times trying to think of what to do with my hair next. I'm transitioning with short hair. I have my 2nd weave install in and basically hate it(it doesnt feel like me with it in)--i have a urge to do a big chop or mini chop and watch my own hair grow and to actually be closer to my own texture.

So even though ive had it in for a short period of time im going tonight to take it out and get braids done on Saturday. And also they are easire because i plan on picking up my exercising regimen.

I have a couple of natural friends, they keep me going, i go on nappturality.com, i go to BHM the natural and braiding threads and other forums, i look at other naturals hair and how they wear there hair, i like to cowash when im wearing wigs. I tried to transition before and on my 4th month i went and got a relaxer. Like the successful naturals here have mentioned it has to be something mentally that you want and it is a transition in your life. You cant think of it just being a transition with your hair but a overall physical and mental transition....

 

[nappy85]

I tried to transition by trying to style my hair natural, but I only lasted about one month. I coulnd't stand the different textures so I did the big chop from a little past shoulder length to about 1" in June 2004 and...it was truly a adjustment. I had always had about shoulder length hair and to me hair was just hair. My thinking was it'll grow back, so it wasn't a big deal. But, it turned out that others didn't think the same. I received some of the craziest looks, reactions and words...but I would do it all over again in a second. Throughout this process it became more than about hair. It was a process of me going from SAYING that I don't live my life based upon what others think to actually ACTING upon it. To me being natural is beautiful because you can truly show who you are and what God has created you with...beautifully natural hair. When I cut my hair there were some days that I actually felt ugly, but it was all a growing process. I learned a confident woman can wear any style well. In regards to hair care, that just takes time. It'll be 4 years in June since I cut my hair off and I'm still learning things. So you should expect to make adjustments, but in my opinion it'll be all worth it.

 

[Caramela]

I am just not getting the support from my friends and fam that I think I need. I've been doing a lot of reading and I came across someone's post that said she still took care of her relaxed hair and was going to do a long stretch... and then even if she decided to relax again her already relaxed hair would be in good shape... or she could decide to BC... I think that's where I am right now. Uggghhhh. Why did my mama have to relax my head so early???? I wish it had been my own choice.

 

[Miss*Tress]

The Transitioners' Support Thread is full of helpful information and tips.

Good luck on your transition.

 

[blackbarbie]

Caramela,
I am in the process of transitioning and I don't plan to do a BC at all. January 27th was a year that I have been relaxer free!!

I will agree as some of the other ladies said that being natural or rather, making the decision to do so is definitely a mindset. Once I did a long transition (6 months) and I was telling myself that I was going to go natural (only told myself and nobody else) but when I got the urge to relax, I just did it. I wasn't really ready....really wanted to but wasn't really ready. This last go round, I started seriously thinking of my reasons for doing so and I am committed to doing it - and NOT doing a BC.

After several months, it got easier and easier. I have always liked doing rollersets, but I don't like flat ironing my roots to get them straight. It's just too time consuming for me, but if you like the straight look, you could do that. (your roots are the healthiest part of your hair since they have not been relaxed so if you protect them when flat ironing, you should be fine)

I absolutely love my bun so doing co-washes and wearing my hair pulled back in a bun or either doing a ponytail braidout or either a full braidout have all worked for me. And yes, the denman brush does wonders for smoothing out my waves. I love looking at natural's fotkis to get inspiration and keep me motivated on cute styles to do.

I will probably wear my hair mostly curly in the spring and summer months and straight during the colder months, so the biggest fear I have right now is finding the right products to define curls and keep my hair moisturized. That's where visiting fotki's of naturals who have the same or similar hair textures as your own comes in. I have about 6 inches of NG that I have been able to manage very well and it's all because I am using products that work.

As far as avoiding the BC, what I have decided to do is get about a couple of inches cut off every 45 or 60 days. I just had some cut about 2 weeks ago. As far as my hair grows, if I keep that schedule up, it will really never look like I am getting any hair cut b/c that's about the amount that would have grown in that time frame anyway. Going this route will keep my ends nice and clean, won't shock my system with a BC, and will keep my hair about the same length.

Oh, as someone else mentioned, reading the transitioning threads really help as well, and also, everytime I see a thread that calls naturals in it (like this one), I jump in to see what kind of advice I can glean from the thread. (look at me claiming natural already)

Hope that little bit helps.....

BB

 

[naturaline]

hey! i had very long hair growing up. but as an adult my max length was around APL. since my trans, my hair has really been more happy! my length is now bra strap and its much healthier.

i like the fact that sometimes it looks really short... but then when wet or pulled alittle the length is like doubled.

happy growing- pm me for any tips you need.

peace
x

 

[Whimsy]

I have been relaxed now for 24 years. It was never my choice and I am seriously considering going natural. Now, since my hair is mid-back length, BC-ing will be (inevitably) a huge shock to my (and my husband's system) - you should have seen his face when I told him I might be doing this... Anyway, my dream is to have big soft beautiful natural hair.
I would like some 101's on the transition, bc and natural grow out processes. What things should I know and/or consider before making this very BIG step in my hair journey. I'm not 100% sold because I don't know what to expect ... so I'm looking for your personal experiences... especially those who had longer lengths. What is the adjustment like?
Thanks for any and all input.

It's all in our heads. I was a lil past bsl when I BCed in 05 after a 6 month transition. I suggest you go to the transitioners support thread and read up there.
I'm currently bsl again and am transitioning for a couple years (currently 6 months in) this time to avoid having short hair this time around.

You'll have to decide what you want to do transition wise, long/short, transition styles etc.... good luck w/ your decision.