Natural is unacceptable unless its in extentions or bunned

[Napp]

My mom is complaining about my hair non stop. when ever i put it in a bun she compliments me for my "good hair" but when i put it in box braids EVERY MINUTE i have to hear her nagging. "how could you go out like that?" "not even when you were a child you looked like that""how old ar you?" ETC.Now she dosent want to go out with me if my hair stays in braids. i have medium-large box braids pinned up into a style. but when i had my kinkytwist extensions she complimented me. i love braids with my real hair and dont want to take them out but what should i do?i said ill do them over because they are a bit fuzzy now but she keeps yelling NO you need to fix your hair properly. when i ask what "properly" is she says dont talk back.

 

[Str8~Curly]

I would just ignore her and eventually your lack of a response will hopefully deter her.

 

[Str8~Curly]

It's funny that you said that b/c before I even read your post I was wondering why she would say that b/c you have so-called "good hair".

 

[JustKiya]

I know she's your mama, and all, but it's your hair, and your sense of style, not hers. If you think it looks acceptable - I don't see - well, I wouldn't do anything, personally. She'd just have to be salty.

 

[Millahdoowop]

Hmmmm... that could be why I don't catch so much hell for wearing my natural hair, because I wear it in a bun all the time. Lmao! Makes sense when folks can't see your actual hair texture.

 

[anon123]

I know she's your mama, and all, but it's your hair, and your sense of style, not hers. If you think it looks acceptable - I don't see - well, I wouldn't do anything, personally. She'd just have to be salty.

That's what I was thinking. My parents used to complain, especially my father, though your mother sounds more insistent. All the same I was like *shrug*, whatever. After a while they had to give up because they realized they were wasting their own energy. Every time she says something just be like "mmmhmm" and go on about your conversation and business.

 

[SEMO]

I would say to continue to do you. My mom wasn't against my going natural but didn't really understand why I wanted to stop relaxing and I few times asked me what I was going to do with my hair.

Now she loves my natural hair and compliments me on it all the time. She herself even gave up signature curl to go natural like me b/c I inspired her. So you never know what might happen down the road with your mom.

 

[feelfree]

umm, not trying to disrespect your moms, or whatever, but you need to just put her on MUTE and KIM.

you are grown right?
you do your own hair, make your own decisions, decide your own styles?

well if she doesn't want to go out with you with your hair "lookin like that", then so be it!

her misconceptions, prejudices, and apprehensions about hair are just that: hers, and as much as they might annoy me, frustrate me, or infuriate me, i would not allow them to belittle me.

respectfully but firmly tell her as much, quickly change the topic, rinse, and repeat as needed. you might have to do this often until she gets your point.

easier said than done, i am sure, but life is too short to be condemned for your hair choices. your hair!

 

[Soliel185]

Man - I used to LOVE my natural box braids. ESPECIALLY once they got all frizzy and curly. I hated then just done b/c I thought I looked like a drowned rat till they plumped up. Just worry about YOU. If you like it and you're comfortable with yourself that's more important than how others might feel.

Besides, sometimes Moms disagree just to be disagreeable.

 

[delp]

Social conditioning. She don't want you to be ostrasized (sp). Just like you telling your son about the police b4 he encounters one.

 

[Valerie]

Social conditioning and brain bashing, good hair and bad hair. Continue with what you are doing and be proud of yourself.

 

[discodumpling]

Am I missing something...it sounds like your Mom is unhappy with YOUR hair.

....you can't please all the people all the time...