"Natural Hair Community My A**" -NikkiiDior

[LittleLuxe]

some LHCF members need to seriously log off. it's never that serious to try and get someone fired over something that doesn't even involve you.

I've already explained my point and pretty clearly. People think High Maintence is funny, and that's their prerogative however you finding something funny doesn't mean everyone else should and just chalk it up to her being a comedian. I think honestly one reason I don't find it funny is because these are the results of slavery. If you can't divide them physically, you divide them mentally and her comic routine is just how that system has been created to breed resentment, pain and division. The worst part of it is that the people who have created that system barely have to make effort to enforce it because they know it's in full effect.

Still, you're right. I, and others, shouldn't become involved in something that doesn't involve us. I might have more or less melanin than others but I can certainly adopt the position of indifference regardless of how light or dark the black woman being insulted is.

 

[jada1111]

I've already explained my point and pretty clearly. People think High Maintence is funny, and that's their prerogative however you finding something funny doesn't mean everyone else should and just chalk it up to her being a comedian. I think honestly one reason I don't find it funny is because these are the results of slavery. If you can't divide them physically, you divide them mentally and her comic routine is just how that system has been created to breed resentment, pain and division. The worst part of it is that the people who have created that system barely have to make effort to enforce it because they know it's in full effect.

Still, you're right. I, and others, shouldn't become involved in something that doesn't involve us. I might have more or less melanin than others but I can certainly adopt the position of indifference regardless of how light or dark the black woman being insulted is.

I rarely, rarely post on here anymore, but I had to address this.

You said you wanted to get her fired for her comments. She's not hurting anyone and I'm sure wherever she's working, they don't care about her comments about "hair". Cause really that's all she ever talks about.

She makes fun of everyone who takes the hair thing too seriously - relaxed, natural, weaved up - everybody.

It's not serious enough to mess with somebody's money is all I'm saying.

As far as Nikki's alleged "disrespect", well I got my own personal thoughts on that which I'm not gonna list.

Now, I'll be going back to lurk mode, but I really needed to address messin' with somebody's INCOME over hair comments and a few cuss words. Absolutely ridiculous and petty.

 

[LittleLuxe]

You said you wanted to get her fired for her comments. She's not hurting anyone and I'm sure wherever she's working, they don't care about her comments about "hair". Cause really that's all she ever talks about.

It's not serious enough to mess with somebody's money is all I'm saying.

Now, I'll be going back to lurk mode, but I really needed to address messin' with somebody's INCOME over hair comments and a few cuss words. Absolutely ridiculous and petty.

I never said I wanted to get someone fired.

Ms-gg said 'So you want to get her fired?'. Perhaps you should have re-read my comment before you replied to me. I said I'd email her comment to her boss, and even that I can admit to saying in frustration. Still like I said earlier I'm indifferent to the subject now. Don Imus calls a group of girls 'Nappy-headed hoes' and it's terrible. She calls another group 'light-skinned hoes' and it's okay.

I can take a guess at the reasons why it's okay coming from her mouth, but really the best bet is to realize when you act a fool on the net no one is messing with your money but you.

 

[ConstantlyDynamic]

@ the bolded. Actually, there is still a huge disparity. In my Race & Ethnicity class last semester, we had statistics that showed how lighter blacks are more likely to get hired, get married, etc. still in the 21st century.

yes! was that a sociology class? haha i've been saying that sociology etc. are important fields. i hear the phrase "to white people, we're all black" too often. we're all black to them, but they do classify us and a lighter shade elicits less of an implicit or explicit bias. colorism is real and it's not just about "oh he thinks she's fine because she's light". your shade can give you privileges and opportunities not afforded to others.

i'm sorry- i get that light-skinned women also suffer from racism sometimes, but they don't go through nearly the same amount of obstacles that darker-skinned women do and there's always going to be a gap in communication if people don't realize that. it reminds me of poor whites who complain because they feel like they go through hard times just like black people and hate that we complain about a "white privilege" that they don't feel they have. they don't understand that white privilege has helped them when comparing them to blacks in their socioeconomic class. so again, yes she's gone through her own stuff and that needs to be acknowledged, but in the end, society will treat her better in general. i also highly doubt the people at the expo didn't accept her because i'm sure there were other 3b/3c/whatever women there. i see many of them on this board

 

[ms-gg]

When Don Imus said that in all honesty (and I am not just saying this to "win" an argument), I could care less. I have better things in life to worry about than what some random person thinks about me. Sticks and stones, sticks and stones....

 

[jada1111]

I never said I wanted to get someone fired.

Ms-gg said 'So you want to get her fired?'. Perhaps you should have re-read my comment before you replied to me. I said I'd email her comment to her boss, and even that I can admit to saying in frustration. Still like I said earlier I'm indifferent to the subject now. Don Imus calls a group of girls 'Nappy-headed hoes' and it's terrible. She calls another group 'light-skinned hoes' and it's okay.

I can take a guess at the reasons why it's okay coming from her mouth, but really the best bet is to realize when you act a fool on the net no one is messing with your money but you.

I read your original comment and your reply to Ms-egg's comment. I know what you said.

I have no doubt that if you knew where she worked, you would email her comments to her boss. You know it and I know it. You can clean it up now if you want to, but YOU SAID IT and YOU MEANT IT.

All I'm saying is that it's not that serious to get another SISTA fired from her job in this messed up economy over some stupid HAIR comments that don't concern her boss.

If anything, her boss is probably subbed to her channel anyway and probably laughs his or her *** off every time she posts something. I'm sure HIMAY10NENCE's personality is not that much different in personal/job life than it is on the internet.

Actually, you need to ask YOURSELF why is this SERIOUS to YOU? Why are you so "distressed" about her comments to want to see her (a black woman trying to survive in a messed up job market) on the unemployment line?

*smh while exiting thread totally confused*

 

[keenyme]

Y'all both need to relax. Hella extra.

 

[sweetdreams23]

Exactly, because we are all human and we all go through our own problems in life.

I'm curious, do you think that other races go through problems like we do? Fighting each other over physical attributes?

Haven't finished reading this thread but,

I remember reading something about Koreans and issues dealing with with darker Koreans vs. porcelain white Koreans (The whiter you are the better)

to them, Dark is lee hyori:

 

[LittleLuxe]

I have no doubt that if you knew where she worked, you would email her comments to her boss. You know it and I know it. You can clean it up now if you want to, but YOU SAID IT and YOU MEANT IT.

Actually, you need to ask YOURSELF why is this SERIOUS to YOU? Why are you so "distressed" about her comments to want to see her (a black woman trying to survive in a messed up job market) on the unemployment line?

*smh while exiting thread totally confused*

Then a reply from me or further insistence you from you isn't needed is it? You've made up your mind to believe what you want about me. I'm explained myself, and very clearly, how anyone chooses to interpret it from there is out of my hands and clearly you merely want to view me as someone out to persecute her.

Please don't dub her my SISTA in all caps because I don't claim her brand of sisterhood or her style. Now earlier you said it doesn't involve me, so the logic of now trying to exert pressure of 'SISTA' and 'fellow black woman' seems a tad convenient. Support each other in this instance, mind your business in that instance. Sorry I skipped a beat but it's a bit hard to follow the unstable rhythm. As for why it's so serious etc. etc. ...well honestly why do I need to evaluate something I already answered earlier but you instead choose to ignore and argue upon? I can admit inlet my frustration get the best of me in saying that and already have. Since you're confused you should probably confirm whatever idea you already have concerning this topic because i sadly think I'm not clarifying the confusion in the least.

 

[liberationtheory]

[Posting before I read the other comments]

I think for many people (not all), embracing their natural hair is more about "ha, now I can say I'm better than someone" be it someone with a relaxer, someone that's White, someone that has "good hair" or whatever.

I think in reality it exposes the fact that for many people, they aren't necessarily proud of who they are INDEPENDENT OF OTHER PEOPLE'S CHOICES but still coming from a place of competition, comparison, etc.

This is one of the reasons that I stopped frequenting some hair boards and had to cut some "naturals" out of my life because they got REALLY nasty with their anti-straight anti-relaxer anti-other people messages. and there is a DIFFERENCE between being pro-natural and anti-other.

You don't have to invalidate others to feel good about yourself, and too many women don't get that.

 

[glamchick84]

Black women are a trip. I tell my dh all the time, I can't stand black women (lol this is a joke, please do not stone me). They stare, hate, and always judging some damn body. Regardless, at some point or another we all will experience discrimination. That is just how it is...

 

[DrC]

sweetdreams23 Are they serious?? If she were anymore lighter she'd be clear!
I honestly think people ( especially Koreans) are trying to get beyond white. The world really is obsessed with color erplexed

Haven't finished reading this thread but,

I remember reading something about Koreans and issues dealing with with darker Koreans vs. porcelain white Koreans (The whiter you are the better)

to them, Dark is lee hyori:

 

[sweetdreams23]

sweetdreams23 Are they serious?? If she were anymore lighter she'd be clear!
I honestly think people ( especially Koreans) are trying to get beyond white. The world really is obsessed with color erplexed

Yep its serious. But it seems to be changing due to Lee Hyori actually.

Here's a blog article on the topic: http://askakorean.blogspot.com/2009/08/here-comes-sun-run-away.html


"WEDNESDAY, AUGUST 05, 2009
Here Comes the Sun -- Run Away!
Dear Korean,

I noticed many Korean women do not like to sunbathe, and I noticed that many of them often wear very wide brimmed hats, and avoid getting tan in general. Is having fair and light skin a big factor in beauty for many Korean women?

Jack in California


Dear Jack,

Yes.

The Korean will even answer a follow-up question. Why do Korean beauty standards involve pearly white skin? Simple -- because dark skin means that you are one of the peasants, out in the field and working all day under the sun. Light skinned people are the nobility – they can afford to stay at home and out of the sun.

The fact that this attitude survived for so long is an indicator of how slowly people's frame of mind changes, even as the circumstances that surround those people change rapidly. Korea began industrializing in mid-1960s, and by 1970s Korea could no longer be called an agrarian society. By then the majority of the lower class of Korea no longer worked on the field, but worked in a factory indoors. To be sure, the factory workers had their own appellations to denote their low station in the society. But aversion to tanning is clearly based on the agricultural economy and field work. How long did Korea to take shed a paradigm based on its agrarian past?

Answer: between 30 and 40 years. Tanned face did not become an acceptable form of beauty until early 2000s, when this woman came along:



Her name is Lee Hyori, whose sheer force of hotness made Koreans accept that tanned skin could indeed be beautiful.

But aside from the delay in changing beauty standards in Korea, there is another level of delay that operates among Korean Americans, such as the ones that Jack saw in California. Simply put, Korean Americans have their own paradigm that either very slowly follows the paradigm of Koreans in Korea, or often does not follow at all. And the way beauty standards have been changing provides an interesting example of this phenomenon.

Take Hyori for example. For about a stretch of 3 to 5 years, she was the biggest star in Korean pop culture scene, about equivalent to Britney Spears' peak in terms of popularity and exposure. (Remember the stretch between around 1999-2002 when Spears was the only female celebrity who mattered?) Wherever you went in Korea, Hyori's (hot, hot, hot) images were plastered everywhere in the forms of TV shows, music videos and advertisements. An average Korean living in Korea, seeing such images, could slowly accept that tanned body can be beautiful as well.

But what about Koreans who live in the U.S.? Most Korean Americans immigrated to the U.S. prior to early 2000s. There has not been any massive exposure of Hyori in America. (In fact, there basically has been no exposure at all.) Korean Americans generally knew who Hyori was, but were not perfectly aware of the ground-breaking nature of her celebrity, exactly because Korean Americans did not see Hyori everywhere like Koreans in Korea did. Therefore, while Koreans in Korea moved onto a new standard of beauty, Korean Americans retained the pre-2000 standard of Korean beauty, as if being stuck in a time warp.

There will be another time to more fully discuss the "immigrant time warp", but the Korean thought this was a great example. The Korean has found that understanding the immigrant time warp is most helpful to the second generation Korean Americans who have a hard time understanding their parents. In most cases, they do not know that their parents think not just like Koreans, but more like Koreans of the 1970s (or whenever they immigrated). But more discussion on this later."

I do remember watching a youtube vlog about a girl who taught in Korea for a year, and mentioned that there still is this perception of "white is better"...but it not like how it used to be. She cancelled her youtube account though, so I can't link it to you unfortunately. erplexed

 

[Ogoma]

I find it peculiar that people are actually believing what Nikki Dior said. I mean come on. A hair expo has hundreds if not thousands of participants and every woman there threw shade at her because of her hair. It is very telling that folk actually believed and defended that nonsense she spoke about. That right there tells me there is a problem. And the problem is that folk expect dark skin nappy heads to be insecure, jealous and mean. But the light skin good hair girls are so sweet, innocent, and pure. There is no way she could be crazy, lying or just plain paranoid. If she claims the nappy heads are jealous then she is automatically believed and defended.

Light skin good hair chicks ain't angels and they ain't above throwing shade, being jealous, or starting ish. Believe that!!

I was reading these comments and wondering when the unnamed dark skinned, 4a/b/c women became the enemy. It is truly sad that this cannot be about just Nikki Dior and whomever hurt her, it became about whom we chose to sympathize with and whom we chose to vilify.

I pray for all of us to do better. We owe it everyone coming after us.

 

[Ogoma]

I can't relate to those threads so I stay away from them. But the few I have read I felt the same way that I feel about the Nikki Dior vid. Everyone isn't hating on your hair or skin tone whether the haters are white, black, light skin or dark skin. Sometimes, you have to do some self reflection and take responsibility for the part you played in the situation.

FWIW, I'm not saying discrimination doesn't happen but I try to apply some common sense to the situation. In a room full of people ALL of them aren't going to hate you or throw shade at you or be jealous of you.

I live in NY and went to OK for a business meeting with a new client. I was with two white male colleagues. When we got there, the client shook both my colleagues hands and never offered his hands to me. I being a Northerner automatically assumed he was a racist and was already drafting my story to share with black, white, Asian NY friends. After the meeting, we all went out for drinks, we started chatting, and I come to find out the reason he didn't offer his hands because he considers it rude to offer your hand to a woman. This was my first trip to OK and I had been making jokes all week about how I was terrified to go there. I viewed the situation differently because of my own preconceived notions about the people I would encounter.

 

[Ogoma]

And that's why I make sure I neeeeeeeeeeeever reveal where I work over the net, or even hint at it. NEVER.

Off topic, but your hair is lovely.

 

[Ogoma]

Can I say something?

More than anything, in this day and age, what is a bigger issue is not really racism or colorism, but classicism. I acknowledge that racism still does exist, racism is a real force, but what continues to plague the black community more so today in the 21st century is not how light or how dark we are, but access to resources and the ability to get ahead in this world.

Unemployment in the AA community is 16% and they aren't discriminating based off of who is lighter than who. There will always be people in the black community who will have personal issues with complexions within our community, at least for the foreseeable future. But at the end of the day, we really do need to stop dividing ourselves even further off of these trivial issues.

And don't get me wrong, I'm not saying open dialogue about the issue is divisive. What I'm saying is that people who believe that the number one problem plaguing people of the African diaspora is what shade of brown they are, is focused on the wrong cause.

Not related to ND or this topic, but to your comment regarding racism and classicism.
Have you seen this study:

http://lawandgender.wordpress.com/2...xposes-colorism-in-sentencing-of-black-women/

I thought it was pretty interesting.

 

[cami88]

In the end my take on Nikki's video and High Maintenance is that people should learn to empathise with another person's hurt regardless of the circumstance.

Nikki expressed the hurt she experienced when she didn't feel accepted by the natural hair community and other black women.

High Maintenance expressed the hurt she experienced with being treated inferior to women with lighter skin and "good hair".

Hurt is hurt. And another person's suffering is not less than mine. And we need to learn how to embrace another people's suffering. When people can realize that, the barriers between groups can be eliminated.

yeah, but highmaintenence expressed her hurt by mocking and taking barbs at Nikkidior. I don't understand, why cant she just say that she's upset with the way she's been treated as a dark skinned girl without making the ignorant assumption that light skinned girls don't have any problems?

 

[Lila25]

:goodnight:

 

[Lila25]

Ok, I'll try this one..

 

[Lila25]

Me in the morning...



for us all...

 

[naturalTAN]

yes! was that a sociology class? haha i've been saying that sociology etc. are important fields. i hear the phrase "to white people, we're all black" too often. we're all black to them, but they do classify us and a lighter shade elicits less of an implicit or explicit bias. colorism is real and it's not just about "oh he thinks she's fine because she's light". your shade can give you privileges and opportunities not afforded to others.

i'm sorry- i get that light-skinned women also suffer from racism sometimes, but they don't go through nearly the same amount of obstacles that darker-skinned women do and there's always going to be a gap in communication if people don't realize that. it reminds me of poor whites who complain because they feel like they go through hard times just like black people and hate that we complain about a "white privilege" that they don't feel they have. they don't understand that white privilege has helped them when comparing them to blacks in their socioeconomic class. so again, yes she's gone through her own stuff and that needs to be acknowledged, but in the end, society will treat her better in general. i also highly doubt the people at the expo didn't accept her because i'm sure there were other 3b/3c/whatever women there. i see many of them on this board

yes, it was a cross-listed sociology/black studies class. and i agree with everything you said.

 

[ms-gg]

Not related to ND or this topic, but to your comment regarding racism and classicism.
Have you seen this study:

http://lawandgender.wordpress.com/2...xposes-colorism-in-sentencing-of-black-women/

I thought it was pretty interesting.

When is Martin Luther King's dream going to finally come to fruition? We fixing to go to hell in a hand basket in this economy and we discriminating and arguing over colors like some damn preschoolers fighting over crayolas. We gotta do better.

 

[Guitarhero]

. they don't understand that white privilege has helped them when comparing them to blacks in their socioeconomic class. so again, yes she's gone through her own stuff and that needs to be acknowledged, but in the end, society will treat her better in general. i also highly doubt the people at the expo didn't accept her because i'm sure there were other 3b/3c/whatever women there. i see many of them on this board

Consider that whites still see her as black and treat her accordingly, with the same walls in place to keep her from rising as high? So somebody darker will rise a little less high...but look at the barriers against light-skin people within the Black community? They suffer from both.

 

[aquajoyice]

This thread turned into a light vs. dark debate. I thought this was loose vs. tight curls? lol Well in regards to color can you really blame the world for the color issue? We are a world of definitions. When you look in the dictionary and define light vs. dark what do you get? Good vs. Evil it's not a coincidence. But on a more positive note each has the ability to define ourselves. No matter what color. To realize the power held within all of us is to realize that nothing and no one can define you.

 

[Beautytalk69]

I don't feel sorry for her. I believe she did all this for views. Am I the only one who caught that smirk at the end of her first video? Also I do believe blk women with looser texture hair have it way easier. E stone me all u want.

 

[LongCurlz]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IQ0Ul8iUgOo&feature=feedu

 

[Qualitee]

 

[nappystorm]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IQ0Ul8iUgOo&feature=feedu

OH EM GEE!!!

Himay10ence!!!

 

[SmileyNY]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IQ0Ul8iUgOo&feature=feedu

.....

Sent from my iPhone.