Natural Hair and White Men

[Syrah]

I totally agree with you. When I was a nappy-head, the white guys were all over me. I'm telling you. I had white men trying to get it to me all the time. The brothers weren't biting, though. I got some that would holla but for the most part, only the brothers who were more militant, perhaps more of the Muslim brothers didn't have a problem with my hair. But it's sad when most black people had a fit when I went natural, especially black women.

Disclaimer: it's shame that I have to put this disclaimer here, but when I say "blacks this" or "whites that," I am NOT painting with a broad brush. Just speaking based on *my* experiences.

I'm with you on the Disclaimer bit. I wanted to post this after going to a BLACK function and having the one WHITE BOY at the BLACK FUNCTION come up and start talking to me - and used my hair as the intro - but I was worried that this would stir up a whole conversation about blackness and black folks and issues. We know we have issues HAHA. Next topic.

 

[DDTexlaxed]

I've had the same experience, white people give me compliments all the time. Black people only ask me: 'when are you going to relax your hair?'[/QUOT

sad, but true in my case, too.

 

[adf23]

Although I's married (and transitioning to natural)- whenever I wear my hair big, is when I turn the most heads, from any race. Seems like men like "wild hair", period.

 

[FeelinIt]

I've had the same experience, white people give me compliments all the time. Black people only ask me: 'when are you going to relax your hair?'

Same here. One of my co-workers would comment "only you can wear that pretty ugly hairstyle". Whatever!

 

[BroadstreetBully]

My bf is as white as they come, blonde hair blue eyed country boy, and he was begging me to hurry up and BC! He's also been begging me to fro it up. Can't say that I'd have the same experience with many of the black men around here.

 

[DarkVictory]

When I had locs I got positive attention from more White men than Black ones.

Natural hair seems to attract fewer Black men but the ones who do like it tend to be much more interesting (at least to me).

 

[caligirl]

Although I's married (and transitioning to natural)- whenever I wear my hair big, is when I turn the most heads, from any race. Seems like men like "wild hair", period.

I agree. I think men like carefree, unrestrained kinda hair because maybe it reflects on your personality, *hint hint* If your hair is already "wild" you're not going to be worrying about one strand out of place, getting it wet, etc. etc.

 

[MissMusic]

I just recently relaxed, so I haven't really got the other side of things for long. However I have to say as a natural I would get so annoyed by the comments of black men.

Example: On monday day nights I work as the door person at a night time cafe. So, its my job to look good, so I do, and there is this one guy who comes every week and didn't know I was natural. I wore twist outs when I first got the job (we all go through hair phases, lol) and I guess it looked relaxed. One day I wore my afro out, and it was Erykah Badu wig big and all of a sudden he was all over me. He was like, is that a wig? I look at him like he's crazy and say no and he then wants to feel it and looks at me in a whole different light. Constantly hitting on me now that he know's I'm natural (which I hate!). So, I've been wearing bun's since I relaxed cause I'm in HYH challenge, but on Monday I wore it out (1st pass) and he looked at me with dissapointment saying, I hate it when natural sistas where weaves. I'm like what? Why does it matter and anyway this is my hair. So, he now he believes that I straightened it, and so the smile is on his face again. Why don't I correct him? Because there's no point.

I met so many guys like him when I was natural. Its proof that people really put way too much meaning into hair and appearance in general. I know not all black men are like this, but the one's that are seem to just annoy me more.

 

[Bunny77]

I'm with you on the Disclaimer bit. I wanted to post this after going to a BLACK function and having the one WHITE BOY at the BLACK FUNCTION come up and start talking to me - and used my hair as the intro - but I was worried that this would stir up a whole conversation about blackness and black folks and issues. We know we have issues HAHA. Next topic.

OMG, this so happened to me two weeks ago!

I went to a black professional conference and went to a party and there were only TWO white men there out of like, 1000 people... why did one of them end up finding me??? And one of the first things he said was, "Your hair is awesome."

I had to laugh. I go to a BLACK event and meet a white boy. I wasn't feeling this particular one, but still... it was funny.

The current WM I'm dating though just LOVES my hair and he can't stop touching it.

And to be fair, I'll say that the brothas like it too. No one has told me to get a relaxer or anything... so it's all good on both sides of the spectrum!

 

[msdeevee]

I've had the same experience, white people give me compliments all the time. Black people only ask me: 'when are you going to relax your hair?'

This is exactly true, I have found. Of course NOT ALL white men and NOT ALL black people are against natural hair but my experience has been enough to state this is true. I'm a middle aged lady and I have white men follow me out the stores and stop me in the street and try to talk to me and compliment me but some that are my friends will often ask me "when are you gonna relax your hair? it'll be so long"

My hair is chin length with wash n go but when stretched apl and I love it, I wish that more of us had a true appreciation for our natural hair.

 

[mariamichelle]

I actually get more attention from black guys since I have been natural. They are amazed that I am a dark skinned woman and my hair grows out of my head curly.

 

[BklynHeart]

My co-worker wears her hair natural and cut SHORT, I mean scalp-showing short!! It looks so nice on her too. Well, this new white VP started working here and saw her in the kitchen. He walked up on her and said "OOOH, I looove black women with baldies!!!" She just looked at him all wide-eyed, and backed away out the kitchen.

 

[CurlyMoo]

I've had various experiences with both relaxed and natural. I was getting an eye exam when the doctor (black woman) right in the middle of her sticking the light in my eye said that my hair was beautiful. My hair was natural in a braidout up in a clip.

I was at work late when the clean up woman (Polish) was cleaning behind me turned off her vac and said that I had beautiful hair. My hair was up in a clip, braidout. I was walking to the beach when I passed by a Black guy walking his dog and I started chatting, because I stopped him to rub his dog, he said he loved my hair. Wash n' go.

I remember when I was in college my instructor (White male) was having an art show of his own outside of school; he invited the class and when he came over to me he complimented me on my hair (it was relaxed and straight, it was my debut from going natural to relaxed, I went from APL to shoulder length bob.) I wore an afro puff and two Black girls walked by me gave me rude stares and looked me up and down with a twisted look on their faces and said, "what the heck?" And proceeded to laugh and making rude comments and noises. Later that day a Black guy shouted as I walked by him, "AFRO PUFFS?, I like it."

Based on what I have seen as far as what White men date when it comes to Black women that varies as well. I saw a White guy walking and holding hands with a Black woman with chewed up and stressed relaxed hair. I've also seen them with Black women with straight, relaxed and well maintained healthy looking hair. I saw a White guy with a Black women who had a TWA. Based on what I have heard or what I was told by White men it doesn't matter what she does with her hair or they prefer a natural woman.

 

[JollyGal]

I experienced it earlier this week. The black men that walked past didn't pay me any attention but I got approached by three white men in one day (usually it's one haha). My hair was in a twist out but you could tell it was natural. Two complimented my hairstyle the other went a bit further.

When I wear my curly hair extensions I get approached by all sorts of men and get cat calls but when I wear my natural hair men actually want to get to know me properly and approach me as if I am a lady.

It's VERY strange. I do agree that the common misconception is that black women with natural hair and all vegans pro black getting back to their "roots" afrocentric.

I also got stalked by three black ladies one who followed me on a bus just to ask me if I wanted my hair done in a weave or relaxed. Um NO lady.

 

[brucebettye]

I am not natural but texlaxed and wear my hair curly everyday. It seems that I do get more attention from the white men at my job every since I stopped wearing my wigs, weaves, and braids. I just think it is because I am unique at my job since I am the only black person that wears their hair curly.

 

[doriannc]

I don't know, when me and my white bf were together, he hated when my hair was straight. He preferred my natural curls as he said. He would even loved to wash my hair as crazy as it seems.

But there is an exception to the rule though. I went to the beauty salon a few years ago and this African lady was getting her hair relaxed for the first time. Her hair was all silky and straight and when her white so came in to see her he was like, "You look so beautiful now that you hair is straight!"

I was like, umm . I would be hella upset if my bf said that. Isn't like a back-handed compliment?

ETA: Off topic but why is an interracial ad in here?

 

[CurlyMoo]

I don't know, when me and my white bf were together, he hated when my hair was straight. He preferred my natural curls as he said. He would even loved to wash my hair as crazy as it seems.

But there is an exception to the rule though. I went to the beauty salon a few years ago and this African lady was getting her hair relaxed for the first time. Her hair was all silky and straight and when her white so came in to see her he was like, "You look so beautiful now that you hair is straight!"

I was like, umm . I would be hella upset if my bf said that. Isn't like a back-handed compliment?

ETA: Off topic but why is an interracial ad in here?

Prolly, because many of the members in here are in interracial relationships. And I'm a member of that site by the way.

 

[calmsensual1]

A little off-topic but omg ddorianc please keep that signature with morgan freeman up for a few days so i can show my bf. That mess is hilarious!

Anyway me and my bf (who is white) were on the verge of a breakup one night and im telling him all the things i cant stand about him. So i ask him what are some things he cant stand about me right. And the FIRST thing out his mouth is "I dont think you need to wear wigs. I think your natural hair is beautiful" I was like . I thought that was really sweet.

 

[Denise11]

I don't really think it has anything to do with the hair. Maybe these guys just think you're cute. Period.

I'm relaxed, and I get hit on from the time I walk out of the house til I get back home. I get asked out by men of many races. Black, white, Hispanic, Arabs, Asians, etc...and there's no natural hair on my head, all relaxed! So maybe it not about the hair.

 

[DDTexlaxed]

My friends loved my natural hair, but I got compliments both ways. I do believe that black men love strait hair more because Hollywood rarely shows natural hair as beautiful. I'm married to a white man who met me with my hair relaxed. He's seen me go back and forth from relaxed to natural and doesn't care. As long as I'm happy, he's happy. This is off topic> That guy in the ad in hot! LOL!

 

[stormy07]

yeah it just happened a couple days ago I had my hair in this crazy curly puff and waiting at the bus stop and this older white gentlemen walks past and he's like "I love your hair it's really pretty!" I'm just like wow thanks lol

 

[tailormade84]

the way I see it, some white men might be attracted to sisters with natural hair because they look different/exotic.....(it tends to be the appeal of dating another race - i just think the "different textured hair" just is bonus in the eyes of those seeking something unique )

JMO

 

[lilmsjanet]

wooooooooooohh this thread is great its making me think of going natural instead of being texlaxed it also reminds me of when i use to live in bronx and we would travel to brooklyn every so often and at that time i was way younger and my hair was all natural and how the african women who would always pass out flyers to get you in there shops would chase my mom and my sister and me down the streets.....

woaaah this thread just makes me love white men so much more

 

[Whimsy]

I've noticed that I get hit on more by black guys when my hair is straight, and more by white/asian/latin/other men when it's out and curly.

My SO is white and he loves my natural hair. He's amazed at shrinkage.

 

[Renewed1]

I agree white men, etc love our natural texture; for the most part. Someone (don't remember) on here wrote that some white men think our natural texture is unprofessional. It really depends on HOW you style your hair. If you are a lawyer, you can't walk into the court room with an afro. Or if you are a CEO of a major company you probably shouldn't wear twist.

But most white men I met like the natural curly hair. I think it's because white women generally have super straight hair.

 

[mrsthiggy]

I have to say that ITA, white men are facinated, brothers look... and the looks are often not complimentary. Most of the comments I get from sisters that dare are at Church... they want to know when i"m going to relax. I have been wearing 2 different wig styles over the last 4 years. Then I found LHCF. But you should see the stunned and envious looks of those same sisters when I flat iron!!! I live in the DC area and once in a great while I"ll get a compliment from a brother... usually it's how strong and healthy my hair looks.

 

[JinaRicci]

ITA with white men being more fascinated than the 'brothers'- I think it's b/c natural hair makes us look more unique, exotic and maybe a bit of a rebel? LOL- I don't know all the things ppl think about if you're natural. I really thought it was all in my head or just coincidence but the proof came when I flat-ironed my hair and then the 'brothers' paid more attention.

This is a good thread- made me think about when I was growing up- most of the cross-ethnic relationships were white men/black women and I noticed that most of the women were natural with TWAs.

 

[Filmatic]

Granted I have only been natural since March 1, I have gotten hit on alot more by black men when I wear my natural hair. One stopped me in the store a week ago and said I was so beautiful.

Maybe it depends on the person.

 

[Ozma]

I think it has something to do with being enamored with something that is unfamiliar to you. I mean should we really be surprised. Our hair in it's natural state is beautiful - seems black folks are more hung up about it than anyone else.

My SO is still intrigued by my hair and the fact that the bottoms of my feet are white - weird. I never really thought about it but the first time he saw the bottoms of my feet he was like - that's so cute. I made a weird face at first.

LOL, he said he'd never really thought about it but it was "different" and he thought it was cute.

Go figure*

I thought I was the only one this happened to. When I first started dating my ex, he made a comment about the bottoms of my feet. I was just like, HUH?

 

[keepithealthy]

My co-worker wears her hair natural and cut SHORT, I mean scalp-showing short!! It looks so nice on her too. Well, this new white VP started working here and saw her in the kitchen. He walked up on her and said "OOOH, I looove black women with baldies!!!" She just looked at him all wide-eyed, and backed away out the kitchen.

that right there is funny lol