MyThoughts about Hair Dryness!!!!warning -long

[Mahalialee4]

1. We are often: Using far too much product at one time thinking that if a little is good, more is better.
2. We are deep conditioning too often and too long which leaves heavy coating on the hair shaft. Then we moisturize heavily with thick conditioners and leave more coating, and then we add oil, and this and that.
3. We are covering up our hair for too long a period which actually packs the conditioners deep into the hair shaft.
I think that we need to use minute amounts of product when deep conditioning, and minute amounts of moisturizers and minute amounts of oils. I also think we need to walk around sometimes with our hair out so that it can puff and spring and allow the strands to breathe and bounce. I notice that women from the Dominican, the Ethiopians, West Indians (that live over there), and the African women do not pack their hair down like they are larding and salting fish and they seem to have much better success with their hair. For the most part they do not let their hair look greasy or tie their hair up tightly. Also, I believe that natural, textured and relaxed hair may require completely different regimes to be at its best and thrive.
The last things I want to mention is that these women are not obsessed with bone straight hair and are not self conscious about a little frizz. Maybe we need to stop RIGIDILY CONTROLLING OUR HAIR and let it down from time to time. I notice with my own cousins that the ones who do not rigidly control their hair and do not pack it down and tie it down like it needs to be restrained have healthier looking hair that grows faster and thicker and longer. Look at little children...they just seem to grow hair without a lot of drama!!! All this heavy handed handling and regimenting and CONTROLLING!!! Maybe our hair just says "to heck with it...is this all there is?!"...so why bother producing any oil from the scalp...I already have a layer or grease or oil on it...and the hair shaft is saying....I am so worn out from trying to look natural and full of life when I am being bound and tied and strangled AND SMOTHERED....I am just going to shed or break off at the ends....it is the only way I can escape this miserable life!" lololol. I think some of us may be SMOTHERING OUR HAIR TO DEATH!!!! What I have personally observed is that by letting my hair puff out during the day and barely oiling the ends every other day, it looks thicker, acts springier and just looks better. iT GETS MOISTURE at rinse or shampoo time or just a straight bag steaming as often as I feel like it...without product!)
In between the rinsing or shampooing and conditioning and moisturizing times, I am leaving reasonal lengths of time for my hair to be free and just thrive like anyone else's hair. Being natural, this means that it looks natural, sometimes their is frizz, it is pouffy and has tendrils hanging loose and looks very thick, but I do not CARE! aND MOST IMPORTANT... it is less DRY!!!!!!Hope this helps somebody. Bonjour

 

[mscounselor]

1. We are often: Using far too much product at one time thinking that if a little is good, more is better.
2. We are deep conditioning too often and too long which leaves heavy coating on the hair shaft. Then we moisturize heavily with thick conditioners and leave more coating, and then we add oil, and this and that.
3. We are covering up our hair for too long a period which actually packs the conditioners deep into the hair shaft.
I think that we need to use minute amounts of product when deep conditioning, and minute amounts of moisturizers and minute amounts of oils. I also think we need to walk around sometimes with our hair out so that it can puff and spring and allow the strands to breathe and bounce. I notice that women from the Dominican, the Ethiopians, West Indians (that live over there), and the African women do not pack their hair down like they are larding and salting fish and they seem to have much better success with their hair. For the most part they do not let their hair look greasy or tie their hair up tightly. Also, I believe that natural, textured and relaxed hair may require completely different regimes to be at its best and thrive.
The last things I want to mention is that these women are not obsessed with bone straight hair and are not self conscious about a little frizz. Maybe we need to stop RIGIDILY CONTROLLING OUR HAIR and let it down from time to time. I notice with my own cousins that the ones who do not rigidly control their hair and do not pack it down and tie it down like it needs to be restrained have healthier looking hair that grows faster and thicker and longer. Look at little children...they just seem to grow hair without a lot of drama!!! All this heavy handed handling and regimenting and CONTROLLING!!! Maybe our hair just says "to heck with it...is this all there is?!"...so why bother producing any oil from the scalp...I already have a layer or grease or oil on it...and the hair shaft is saying....I am so worn out from trying to look natural and full of life when I am being bound and tied and strangled AND SMOTHERED....I am just going to shed or break off at the ends....it is the only way I can escape this miserable life!" lololol. I think some of us may be SMOTHERING OUR HAIR TO DEATH!!!! What I have personally observed is that by letting my hair puff out during the day and barely oiling the ends every other day, it looks thicker, acts springier and just looks better. iT GETS MOISTURE at rinse or shampoo time or just a straight bag steaming as often as I feel like it...without product!)
In between the rinsing or shampooing and conditioning and moisturizing times, I am leaving reasonal lengths of time for my hair to be free and just thrive like anyone else's hair. Being natural, this means that it looks natural, sometimes their is frizz, it is pouffy and has tendrils hanging loose and looks very thick, but I do not CARE! aND MOST IMPORTANT... it is less DRY!!!!!!Hope this helps somebody. Bonjour

Actually what I think it is that I was too busy trying to reproduce results of others on here. When I let my hair alone (i.e. my Jamaican family members) my hair grew quickly. Now I am too busy with my hand in it, doing things it has never experienced, and I wonder why it won't do anything. I simplified my products and went back to what I know....my hair reacted so much better since then.
Thanks for sharing your candid opinion!

 

[Neroli]

I agree. Less is more! The less I do to my hair, the better it responds. It is not only freeing and cheaper, but I have more time to do other things.

Now, if I can only figure out how NOT be addicted to this site . . .

 

[mscounselor]

I agree. Less is more! The less I do to my hair, the better it responds. It is not only freeing and cheaper, but I have more time to do other things.

Now, if I can only figure out how NOT be addicted to this site . . .

When you find out share it with me....maybe there is a 12 step program. I am constantly on here when I should be doing work...and I am in grad school for crying out loud.

 

[CarLiTa]

this post is funny but it is true! All the smothering actually works for some people but for others, it just doesn't.
I have found the cheapest products to use, and decided not to go and pay extra cash for certain things. As long as it's cheap and does its job, I'M SET!
When i came on here and found out that EVERYONE was wearing buns EVERYDAY, i did wonder, 'does'nt that mean breakage?' apparently not for everyone, but jeez, I like my hair to BREATHE! no criticizing but some ppl wash their hair, put it in a bun to airdry and NEVER undo it till the next wash, I just couln't do it, lol.
Also, I think sometimes we exaggerate over the protecting the ends thing, expecially when the hair reaches a length where it just lays on the back, like midback, brastrap, etc. i dont think it's that necessary to have it all day everyday, don't get me wrong though, i love the techniques but the point is to let the hair breathe too. I prefer to focus on the interior for growth, cuz nothing exterior works for me

 

[caligirl]

LOL at "packing it down like you are salting fish!" My aunt ask me why I always keep my hair "balled up." Your thread was right on point. Just let your hair be!

 

[gorgeoushair]

this is true.... i know some people who don't wash or condition their hair for 2 weeks or who just shampoo their hair but don't condition....they have no breakage.... i don't understand.

 

[TigerLily]

I agree! Just recently, I've stopped putting a whole lotta crap on my hair...and my hair likes it, too! The part about your scalp not producing oil because of all the stuff that's on top of it already...so true in my case! When I stopped putting all that stuff on my hair, my scalp started producing oils.

 

[hotshot]

here here!
after losing hair from stress, i read about a no product regimen that worked for me. i moisturized twice a week and letting it out and my hair started to thrive. i think obsessing and believing my hair needs 800 products and 5 growing methods in order to behave is no different than believing it needs a perm to be "nice." If you really believe you have "good" hair, your regimen need not be so complicated to prove it.

 

[belleza]

I think the key is balance, not obsession. Personally, I need to keep my hair in a bun with a baggie on it. My hair has never been as long (and healthy) as it is now. The key is to weed through the methods and find what works for you individually. The problem before was, that we as black women never had our options communicated to us. All I've ever had were scissor happy stylists cutting my hair every 5 weeks after my almost monthly relaxer. All the while I was only one year away from a beautiful head of hair.

Now, I'm empowered to experiment with my hair, find what works for me, and pitch the rest. Because of you women, I have stopped hating my hair. Now I love my hair, and that has raised my self esteem a great deal. All I needed were options...I'm smart enough to handle the rest.

 

[MeccaMedinah]

I agree, keep it simple! I only apply product (shea & aloe) when I conditioner wash my hair, 1-2/week. My hair is happy with a spritz of water nightly. I only deep condition once per month, when I shampoo- my hair thanks me.

 

[chellee]

GREAT POST! Thanks for putting us in check. Less is definitely more.

 

[BLESSED1]

I think the key is balance, not obsession....

ITA My hair is tied up, plaited, and baggied Monday - Friday, but come the weekend I'm rocking only S-curl and an afro! My hair hasn't fell out yet, so I guess that's not hurting it

 

[Porsche19]

My hair needs a lot of mositurizers and conditioners. I keep the use of oils, combing/brushing and shampoos to a minimum.

I have tried to use small amounts of conditioner and moisturizer... that gives me dry hair.

Every head of hair is different. Some people can slather product on their hair (some people HAVE to) and have healthy, beautiful hair, some people can't.

 

[beloved1]

I consider myself a minimalist (wash every 2 weeks , my hair is out every day, and most of my products are cheapies but goodies (besides my Phyto) and my hair (for now) is thriving. I am a little heavy handed on my products, so I cut back and found out it works just as well. I keep cutting back so I can see what the minimal my hair needs to thrive, otherwise I feel like I am wasting time and products and my hair is being unnecessarily handled, and put upon. I don't try every gimmick that comes out, but do consider different natural remedies as they have worked well for me in the past and are relatively inexpensive. I think every person should carefully examine each product they by and apply to see if it is really necessary and beneficial for their hair.

 

[Jewell]

ITA My hair is tied up, plaited, and baggied Monday - Friday, but come the weekend I'm rocking only S-curl and an afro! My hair hasn't fell out yet, so I guess that's not hurting it

Your wig IS pretty! I would like one like that for myself! I bought my first wig last week.

 

[Mija]

I'm going to go against the grain on this one only because every head of hair of is different. (Disclaimer: Mahaliee I love a lot of your posts & advice .) But I think ACV rinses can help with a lot of product buildup on the hair and scalp prepping the hair for moisture, protein, & oil. My hair was 34' on my last measurement date March 29th and I've been a protective styler for years maybe wearing my hair out once or twice a week. I wash every 6 days with CON (& clarify as needed), deep condition w/3 cond's & peanut or evoo oil, and rotate homemade buttercream, olive oil, sunflower oil, & pure shea butter as my daily hairdressings. My ends are 6 years old and need as much protection as possible so I must oil & butter it everyday. Butttt I think everyone is different so this is just my opinion

(*I removed my picture because of a possible troll.)
(I was doing too many S&D's in April so my ponytail thinned at the ends. It's growing back so I'll survive.)

 

[Lovelylocs]

I agree w/Mija. I think that our hair needs lots of moisture b/c it is naturally curly and therefore naturally drier. At the same time, our hair is extremely fragile and needs as little manipulation as possible. Maybe some of u just havent found the right products for conditioning ur hair. I know that some products like Sebastian potion no. 9 and biolage work really well for me, while other products like Lacio Lacio dont really do anything.

 

[Cinnabuns]

Yes I agreee also that less is more, I think that sometimes I add to much because I want to make sure that all my ends are well coated.

 

[Honi]

I'm going to go against the grain on this one only because every head of hair of is different. (Disclaimer: Mahaliee I love a lot of your posts & advice .) But I think ACV rinses can help with a lot of product buildup on the hair and scalp prepping the hair for moisture, protein, & oil. My hair was 34' on my last measurement date March 29th and I've been a protective styler for years maybe wearing my hair out once or twice a week. I wash every 6 days with CON (& clarify as needed), deep condition w/3 cond's & peanut or evoo oil, and rotate homemade buttercream, olive oil, sunflower oil, & pure butter as my daily hairdressings. My ends are 6 years old and need as much protection as possible so I must oil & butter it everyday. Butttt I think everyone is different so this is just my opinion

(I was doing too many S&D's in April so my ponytail thinned at the ends. It's growing back so I'll survive.)

I agree with this. The older your ends get, the more protection it needs. Wearing my hair down everyday would just lead to more manipulation trying to detangle it. Therefore the risk of breakage would increase at least in my experience. For the most part protective styles forces me to leave my hair alone.

 

[ccd]

First I need to say: MIJA!!!!!! OMGoodness...I have never seen your avatar b4 so I am floored!!! Do you have an album? ( u can PM me if you want)

OK......I often complain about dryness too...my ends seem like they need something after about 3 days post washing so I put something light on, I hate the greasy, stiff look...that to me causes breakage when you try to comb it

...other than that, I make sure the moisture comes from the right shampoos
( hydrating ones) and deep cond......That has really turned my hair around, I never use to deep condition ( let alone protein treatments and my hair was like straw) now...when my hair feels dryish...I know it is time to wash it.

My hair is pretty thick and needs weight on it...to me, I don't like fly-away looking ends and since I have found ways to treat that then it works for me.

I think the key is balance.....too much of anything it not good.


By the way Mahaliee4...I agree to that we (some ppl) strong hold and roughfully treat our hair ( I remember my mama tryin' to "tame" the hair I had)

......I realized just this Friday .....that as much care as I take with my hair, I still was being rough on it......The way my stylist was gently combing my hair thru my tangles (5 months post relaxer worth) was amazing to me....

**(ETA: opps I meant Wednesday, I don't know what day I was thinking it was)

she treated each strand like silk!.. ( not because it was any kind of smooth, but...I meant she was super careful and cautious throughout my touchup)

I will be reevaluating how I treat my own hair.... thanks for the post

 

[Mija]

Thank u CCD- I pm'd u

 

[songbyrd517]

1. We are often: Using far too much product at one time thinking that if a little is good, more is better.
2. We are deep conditioning too often and too long which leaves heavy coating on the hair shaft. Then we moisturize heavily with thick conditioners and leave more coating, and then we add oil, and this and that.
3. We are covering up our hair for too long a period which actually packs the conditioners deep into the hair shaft.
I think that we need to use minute amounts of product when deep conditioning, and minute amounts of moisturizers and minute amounts of oils. I also think we need to walk around sometimes with our hair out so that it can puff and spring and allow the strands to breathe and bounce. I notice that women from the Dominican, the Ethiopians, West Indians (that live over there), and the African women do not pack their hair down like they are larding and salting fish and they seem to have much better success with their hair. For the most part they do not let their hair look greasy or tie their hair up tightly. Also, I believe that natural, textured and relaxed hair may require completely different regimes to be at its best and thrive.
The last things I want to mention is that these women are not obsessed with bone straight hair and are not self conscious about a little frizz. Maybe we need to stop RIGIDILY CONTROLLING OUR HAIR and let it down from time to time. I notice with my own cousins that the ones who do not rigidly control their hair and do not pack it down and tie it down like it needs to be restrained have healthier looking hair that grows faster and thicker and longer. Look at little children...they just seem to grow hair without a lot of drama!!! All this heavy handed handling and regimenting and CONTROLLING!!! Maybe our hair just says "to heck with it...is this all there is?!"...so why bother producing any oil from the scalp...I already have a layer or grease or oil on it...and the hair shaft is saying....I am so worn out from trying to look natural and full of life when I am being bound and tied and strangled AND SMOTHERED....I am just going to shed or break off at the ends....it is the only way I can escape this miserable life!" lololol. I think some of us may be SMOTHERING OUR HAIR TO DEATH!!!! What I have personally observed is that by letting my hair puff out during the day and barely oiling the ends every other day, it looks thicker, acts springier and just looks better. iT GETS MOISTURE at rinse or shampoo time or just a straight bag steaming as often as I feel like it...without product!)
In between the rinsing or shampooing and conditioning and moisturizing times, I am leaving reasonal lengths of time for my hair to be free and just thrive like anyone else's hair. Being natural, this means that it looks natural, sometimes their is frizz, it is pouffy and has tendrils hanging loose and looks very thick, but I do not CARE! aND MOST IMPORTANT... it is less DRY!!!!!!Hope this helps somebody. Bonjour

I agree with you in the case of my hair. Actually, I was just thinking about this earlier today. Lately, I have been very heavy handed with products and my hair has been sooo dry - a lot drier than usual. and my scalp has been really itchy. I think I have been smothering my hair and trying to beat it into submission, and I also notice that my hair seems to grow faster when it is loose (or at least not compacted on my scalp). I have to find the balance that works for me, it is just hard because I am transitioning, and I have come to a point where I don't know what to do with my hair besides bun it with lots of goo and gunk, or flat iron it (which never lasts very long mind you. Oh well . I am going to try to cut back on the products. Thanx girl I needed that.