MY white coworker just

[CarefreeinChicago]

told me i need to do something about my hair i need to cut it or something and that it is unprofessional I told her this is my hair and it does not grow straight out of my head and then she goes i was just playing with you.....WTF i know she was not playing but i don't give a dam*

 

[PrincessScorpion]

You need to check your state laws because if memory serves me right she can not tell you that.

 

[Lynnerie]

I agree with Prince3. Who is she to say what hair is professional. She's unprofessional for allowing that to come out her mouth. Keep ya head up and keep doin ya thang.

 

[*ElleB]

Who is she to be telling you that? She is not ur boss, if ur boss and the "higherups" have no problem then neither should she.....And I agree with the other posters.....She overstepped her boundaries in more ways than one.

 

[CarefreeinChicago]

no she is not my boss but she is crazy so i just looked at her and laughed it off now because she said that i may wear it out more often i told her i don't need to confirm to the european standard of beauty and that my hair does not grow straight out off my head why can't people leave their comments out

 

[wadadligyal]

You told her the right thing b/c she might think she can say anything to you. Sometimes you gotta put people in check so they'll know not to cross that line again.

 

[neonbright]

I cannot respond to this the way I would if I was at work, because I would be banned from the site with all the bad words I would use...

 

[divya]

Some people are so dang ignorant. You handled it well...

 

[Sistaslick]

I agree with Prince3. Who is she to say what hair is professional. She's unprofessional for allowing that to come out her mouth. Keep ya head up and keep doin ya thang.

ITA People are so bold these days.

 

[tallygirl]

Hopefully, this is an isolated incident and not the type of work environment that tolerates these types of comments. I would suggest that you report the incident to your Human Resources/Personnel Office....This is not to get your ignorant co-worker in trouble, but it sounds like your organization should be in line to get some Cultural Sensitivity/Cultural Awareness training....Comments such as those made my your co-worker could escalate into costly litigation for your employer if they don't get it in check soon.....

 

[Poohbear]

Has this white coworker of yours ever talked or joked with you before? Have y'all ever discussed hair issues before? If not, she was very much out of line and she probably meant what she said.

 

[CarefreeinChicago]

she is just crazy in general and everyone knows this she even tells people she is not "PC" and she does joke around but you can tell she means it but try's to play it off she also seems bitter about life so i she also made a comment about being my master...so i am just trying to lay low and hope the move her to another office far away from mine but the hair comment is strike two one more and i am going to talk to my boss about her.

 

[Poohbear]

she is just crazy in general and everyone knows this she even tells people she is not "PC" and she does joke around but you can tell she means it but try's to play it off she also seems bitter about life so i she also made a comment about being my master...so i am just trying to lay low and hope the move her to another office far away from mine but the hair comment is strike two one more and i am going to talk to my boss about her.

WHAT!? She said she was your master? Girl, you better report her. I would not wait for another offense. She has said two degrading and insulting things to you. Those comments are not funny. She may be crazy and all, but you need to address this issue with your boss if you seriously do not want an office by her. Don't wait for them to move her. Tell someone about this problem so you can be away from her... who knows what she'll say next.

 

[1QTPie]

I agree with Poohbear. You need to keep a journal of her statements and you need to report her period. It.she is unacceptable.

 

[Chromia]

Definitely keep a journal of her comments - a "paper trail" - and contact Human Resources about everything.

 

[aileenadq]

You need to check your state laws because if memory serves me right she can not tell you that.

The co-worker can say anything she likes anything she likes, within reason. If the comments continue, it can be construed as harassment. What is illegal is if a supervisor takes an adverse employment action against her because she refuses to change her hair.

That being said, I think the co-worker should be reported to HR for all her comments.

 

[Shimmie]

Neither she OR your boss has ther right to cross the line and put you down. There is a difference between being 'superior-minded' and showing concern. Sadly, there are still whites with the high-minded attitude that they are 'better' than we are. Uh.....No they are not.

However, she's not worth losing any of your precious and beautiful hairs over. As long as you are clean and well-groomed (and you are) no one can make this kind of remark to you.

Forgive her and move on. I remember a wonderful message from Frederick Douglas (I believe), that says, "I will allow no man to possess my soul by causing me to hate him."

You are beautiful and precious in the sight and the heart of God and in ours. AND you are beautiful!

 

[CarefreeinChicago]

Thanks ShimmieGirl....I am not going to let her bring me down I love my job and most of all I love the coils,napps kinks what ever you want to call it growing out of my head.

 

[kristina]

Seriously- what she is saying is completely inappropriate and it is in the interest of you and your employer that she stops this immediately. And there is a potential for a racial harassment suit (under a hostile environment theory) even though this is a co-worker but only if you could establish that your employer knew about the harassment and did nothing. You really should go to HR. And read your Employer's handbook or manual on their harassment policy procedures.

 

[Shimmie]

Thanks ShimmieGirl....I am not going to let her bring me down I love my job and most of all I love the coils,napps kinks what ever you want to call it growing out of my head.

"You're Beautiful" and you have also handled yourself in this situation, just as beautifully.

I've been the only African American on my job for over 8 years (until recently) have had comments made about my hair. I have to wear it natural as it is healthier for its growth. There are times when the 'weather' makes it curl tighter and volume out and I've had comments like.."what's wrong with your hair?" And I've been known to say, 'none of your business!", and I didn't care how they felt when I said it.

The texture of our hair in its natural state is in the same category as the color of our skin; we were born with both. It's a racial comment to make mention of either one. As long as we come to work clean, well groomed and properly dressed, no further comments are deemed legal about our apearance. Comments about our natural hair is racisism. A negative comment has been made regarding our nationality.

I still maintain to move on and to forgive this person, but if it does continue, you have a case. And if it means bringing Johnny Cochran up from the dead (please forgive me, for I mean no disrespect by that comment. I respect him and may he rest in peace); my point is that white is not always right. They do not dictate hair and it's care, nor do they have any authority to dictate to us how we should wear ours.

Stay strong, little one. And again, you are truly beautiful.

 

[MissYocairis]

Document this. Record the date of it. If she says it again, bait her. Ask her what she means and see if she gets specific. If she does this to you again, you must record it again. Then, report her. If nothing happens, then you have a discrimination case based on race. It is probably isolated. But, just in case, cause as we all know....BECKYS LIKE TO START SH*T....have your ducks lined up. This pisses me off. She would be mad if she walked away sporting an "unprofessional" bright red hand print on her cheek where you slapped the sh*t out of her....