MY SPACE-FACEBOOK & YOUR CHRISTIAN CHILD

[kayte]

If there has been a thread on this already.... apologies.
Disclaimer..I am not a parent......
so my humble opinions spring from non-experience...

Dating someone this summer, (among a few others ha!)
He has shared custody of a pre-teen daughter. Very pretty girl. l2 years old ..and he told me over dinner ..after showing off pics of his lovely young lady....she voguing in them ..as kids do..lol
anyways told me that the 12 year has a My Space account! She was reared in a private parochial school,that he put her in and paid for ..and
so has a Christ-centered religious background. I have a personal distaste for My Space..so maybe it's just me..but I just said Why? He said and I couldn't believe it ..this is an educated highly educated smart saavy creative guy.. he said cas all the other kids are doing it....I was like ..are out of your mind.....falling for that tired cliched meaningless rationale...

I tried to explain the dangers of it..and he said ...he has access to her accct..he has the password or whatever..he checks it once a week but he also told me the 12 year old wanted to reverse the numerals in her age so that she would be 21...instead of 12

okay..not even a red flag ..how about a neon marquee

He said he vetoed that...not even getting that a kid who makes such suggestion is no where near ready to be on an adult online social network...He said he'd rather give permission and monitor her ..than her
doing it in secret

It's okay...he said she's bored with My Space..she wants to check out Face book....
He refuses to even hear an arguement ...he brushes it of..the ship has sailed....Like he couldn't say...Changed my mind you are too young and minor ..answer is no.....

You read about stuff in the paper and first thing you think is what parent would have allowed their kid to have a My Space account anyway.....
but a Christian parent? ..or I am biased cas I can't stand that thing
Others authors-colleagues jumped on My Space..to increase their viability ..sales ..exposure ..fan base..whatever
me? I can't keep far away enough from it...
and if I had a kid.....NO WAY...
speaking from the back seat or bleachers

 

[OhmyKimB]

Welll I have facebook...I had that when it first came out in 2004 soon as I started college. I also have a myspace when I had when myspace first started and no one was on it.

I'm a christian so should I delete mine? My godsister, and cousin (16 & 15) have myspace...I check their pages regularly. I don't see anything wrong with it especially since they don't have anything up there.


I can understand that she's 12...my cousins that age would get a beating...but at least he is monitoring it. I dunno what else to tell you though...I dunno how facebook runs for other ppl but the ppl I talk to are the ones I've gone to school with or actually know through another person

 

[HeChangedMyName]

I don't agree with little girls posing as grown-ups on myspace. Especially if their profiles are not set to private. I have a myspace page and I am grown, but still keep mine private and only available to friends(most of whom I know either personally or through some form of networking or through a hair forum.

 

[Ramya]

Myspace for a 12 year old? Nah not going to happen over here. (i'm not a parent either). I have a facebook account to keep up with people i personally know. I don't have myspace and there's nothing remotely suggestive or obscene on my facebook. In fact it's pretty generic and boring. I hopes that he talked to her about why she shouldn't lie about her age and give out information

 

[He_Leads_I_follow]

I HATE it too! I don't have kids either but I do have kids that I am close to in my church. They work in differnt ministries. Sweet as pie they are... .

But then I found out they had Myspace and took a look ... Let's see... One was wearing a bikini and goes by the name Sexy something or other.. the other had her cleavage out with shades looking seductively into the camera. People really need to get a grip and understand it's tempting to be someone else when you're online. Or maybe they were being their true selves. Adults do it so why expect a teenager to be completely honest about their age (then again sometimes the younger ones are preferred). You can't expect a young person to have the common sense to keep their location private and their pictures modest. They won't.

The children may not be mine but I do call them on it. Sorry, if you trust me around your kids in church then I have the right to hold them accountable in their day to day to lives. Not all kids want to be immoral or can't be trusted but predators do. People who have set their minds to prey on children are looking for sweet kids who like a compliment here and there on their appearance. So "send me a picture". Please, many of us have complexes on this site about acne and our wasitlines. Imagine how a young teen feels when someone online says "I like your picture. You should take one with your belly showing. I bet you have nice legs too..."

Actually , I just remembered a coworker who had members in their church who had a 14 year old (not sure of the age but not older than 16). She had a page and then got a call from an older man. Her DUMB mother answered the phone and told him how old her daughter was and STILL gave her child the phone!! Anyway, she took a bus somewhere and had been gone over a month. As far as I know, she still hasn't told them what happened to her. Or who or how many were waiting for her...

Will all children be sexually harrased,kidnapped or manipulated by predators to "pose" for the web cam?? Perhaps not . But we're living in a world that teaches our children to keep secrets because "they have rights too". We're living in a world that says the more flesh the better. Please, when grown women want to look like video girls (don't let me go there ) why expect children to have the strength to restrain themselves? No we must teach them restraint. That "not my little girl" nonsense has won the enemy a lot of victims. Just like the enemy works hard to seduce you, he wants your kids too! Get over it!

 

[kayte]

Welll I have facebook...I had that when it first came out in 2004 soon as I started college. I also have a myspace when I had when myspace first started and no one was on it.

I'm a christian so should I delete mine?

Just for clarity...The thread is about children

I'm not commenting on My Space for adults except to say I know people who use..like it..endorse it professionally as well as personally..invite me to join..etc etc

for myself..I don't like it..or what it stands for ..so def it's a personal bias..so to each her/ his own.

But for minors?
I stressed Christian children because Christian parents, I thought might have ideas or special vigilance with respect to potential online predators and even just ...other worldly influences that could affect a child in formative years in the early walk with Christ.
My date's laissez faire attitude about it..and that precious jewel..his daughter puzzled and concerned me

Maybe I am overeacting

 

[tmichelle]

I definitely see a difference in your parenting styles that may, no will, get in the way if you stay together. I'd spend more energy on the other potentials.

ETA: While I do agree with you on this circumstance, the bothersome part is not so much the MySpace or whatever, it is the fact that the father gave a lamo excuse and won't reason anything out. That would become a problem in other areas.

 

[TooCute]

I believe he is doing the right thing. To tell that child no she can't have a myspace account it to tell her "please dear, go set up an account where you pose as a grown woman and give out your personal info to random guys".

As long as he and her mother are doing their job in providing her with the knowledge of what is out there to derail her from her christian path and she has been equipped with the tools to be a Christian in the world and not be of the world, she'll be fine.

IMO of course...

 

[kayte]

I definitely see a difference in your parenting styles that may, no will, get in the way if you stay together. I'd spend more energy on the other potentials.

slim as the pickins are ..these days ..lol

Clarity .....
We've got a great..awesome... relationship apart from my irritation about this one...lapse....at least as far as I can see
..in every other way..he's a superb dad... and wonderful date and inspired friend
but again gentle sisters, my relationship with him is not at all at issue
here..it's Christian kids on My Space
I appreciate ALL the opinions of which I plan to tell him

OT
..I have no intention of leaving ....and also I am multidating which the gentleman/gentlemen... knows..but this one... he's a great guy...
most times

 

[leeshbeesh]

i believe their is a hisholyspace or something...maybe you can offer up some alternatives hehe. (i am not being sarcastic, i am just thinking what i would do with my kids) i am apalled my my younger sister's page...it makes me wonder what are my parents doing??

 

[kayte]

i believe their is a hisholyspace or something...maybe you can offer up some alternatives hehe. (i am not being sarcastic, i am just thinking what i would do with my kids) i am apalled my my younger sister's page...it makes me wonder what are my parents doing??

HISHOLYSPACE.....very clever idea
now ..wouldn't that just..rock?
an online social network specifically for Christian Kids?
with Christian values?
see my cousin once had to write a paper on Christ
okay..not my choice of a title but
it was titled
WHY JESUS IS ALL THAT
I guess the parochial school my cousin attended was trying to be...contemporary...but at least it was a step in meeting the kids where
they are at....
hisholyspace would be a gesture like that