TrulyBlessed
Well-Known Member
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Shimmie said:Oh Sweetheart, I've been here with my ex-husband and my son. Please hear this.
Your friend will not make it without AA AND God. God created AA and AA is your answer to prayer for your husband.
*Sigh* How can I explain this other than to say, that God cannot effectively deliver your friend with Church only. God designed AA for a reason, being that it's members and participants have been in the same hell and path of destruction and they know how to pull each other out of it.
They 'own' the 12-Step program and it's success is not by accident; for God designed this process. It's also Biblical for each step is designed to make the addict strive to the next level and he is also held accountable by those with whom is in alliance with.
Why do you think your friend failed? The missing link was AA. Right now, he is using excuses for not attending church. His relapse is due to not being held accountable to one in his position. AA participants are assigned sponsors who KNOW the manipulation of addicts, and they do not play games with an addict. AND addicts know addicts, therfore your friend has no other choice than to get his act together.
I know you love him, but you are also enabling him. I can read it all through your post. How can I say this? Easy, because I was there and it took my son and his sponsors to show me that i was indeed making it easy for my son to stay an addict and not seek his full recovery.
Indeed God is the Final Answer and you have to recognize that this is God's answer making your friend be held accountable for his actions. I'm giving you fair warning sweetheart; his recovery is not going to happen in the state that he is not win.
Baby, if you love this man, than look at the signs and face up to the truth.
The signs:
* He lives with his mother (lack of responsibility) and he will stay there and NOT move towards agressive recovery.
* He is not in an AA program where he belongs and he 'KNOWS' this. He's not ignorant of this.
* He has not placed himself in the hands of someone to be held accountable to.
* He blames -- using his mothers as his EXCUSE for not being able to go to church. ("The Addicts National Anthem), it's always because of someone else that he/she cannot be or do what they are supposed to
be doing. Since when does he need him momma to take him to church? He's a grown man, he needs to live like one.
* When a man really wants to do something, he will do it. Did he find a way to relapse? Did he find a way to lose his job? Did he find a way back to his mothers' house? Is he still there? He knew the distance of his mother's homes that would be a traveling challenge. He knew he didn't have his own transportation. He is the one who placed himself in the position to have to move. Addicts do this and they 'play' on the excuses.
Darling one, Addiction controls more than one actions to take a drug or a drink. It also controls one's mindset to help them place themselves the the Valley of Excuses for why they are their. They don't want to come out this valley and rather than admit this to those who have expectations of responsibility from them, they put themselves in postions and predicaments which give them excuses for not meeting our expectations.
This addiction (which is indeed is a demonic spirit) has him and his actions and mindset are clearly an indication that he has placed himself in a position to stay in addictive relaspe. Yes, you see addicts are also addicted to 'relaspe.'
AND this is where your spiritual growth and strength comes in. The enemy wants to bind you from seeing the reality of this so that you will continue to enable his addiction, by what you feel is loving him and supporting him, when actually satan is using your emotional attachment to keep you from dicerning the demonic spirits which are keeping your boyfriend bound in this addictive state.
Yes, your friend still and will always need Church fellowship, but do you see how satan has distracted him and has succeeded in getting him away from God's word? And until your friend has the right treatment, by the right persons (AA), he will never adhere to the spiritual heights, depths, and growth that God has for him.
Pray for God to give your friend a Barnabus. A spiritual 'Father' and a Sponsor who will not take any excuses or stalls or resistance to his full recovery.
How do I know this? I had to let my son go and I did and God kept His promise to me to deliver my son. (Isaiah 27:3 -- I the Lord do keep it, I watch it day and night, least any hurt it....'let him make peace with me and he shall make peace with me). When I 'released' my son to the Lord, he placed my son in an in-house rehab and then a halfway house where he was held accountable for every action, excuse and lie that he tried to cook up. But they were on to each one as they knew them well, for they too used the same methods to excuse their addictions.
I learned a lot from the sponsors and my son's experience. God answered every single prayer to fully deliver my son, yet God also opened my heart and my eyes to see the truth, for without the truth, neither my son nor I would be free.
Precious one, my son made peace with God. I wanted to hold on to my son in Church and thought that it would work, but also I wanted to be able to 'watch' him. But God said no, let him go and let me have him to clean him and restore and make him what I designed him to be...a man of God who seeks and is modeled after me."
You have my heart in this Dearest One. You are not the only one who's been here. This is why they also have support groups for family and loved ones of addicts, for they have to be informed and armed with the truth. And these support groups are from God. It is actually the 'Church' that God has designed for addicts and their loved ones.
God is the one who designed AA...
I promise to pray for you and your friend. I know you love him...angel, I know. Stay strong and open to all that God wants to give you.