My sister's hair is falling out : (

[Freespirit02]

I'm really heartbroken. I've been relaxing her hair now for about 6 months..and I've been telling her how to take care of her hair. She hasn't been listening. Today she came to get her hair relaxed and 70% if is gone . I refused to perm her hair and now i'm doing a treatment with aloe and silicon mix. This is her "regimen"..i use that term loosely.

She claims she washes her hair every two weeks with mizani shampoo and conditioner.(no deep conditioner)
She doesn't apply conditioner everyday.
She wears wigs..without applying conditioner
She sleeps on cotton pillow cases without protecting her hair.

The sad part about it was that she didn't even notice her hair was breaking.

I don't know what to do. I offered to do her treatments once a week..and everything. I don't know if she is a lost cause or what.

Btw..she use to have beautiful hair growing up..and she had a stylist damage her hair about a decade ago. Till this day..she is saying her hair hasn't fully recovered. I need some help yall..thank you.

 

[Pandora1975]

Have you tried turning her on to the forum? Maybe get her a "gift" subscription?

 

[IDareT'sHair]

Have you tried turning her on to the forum? Maybe get her a "gift" subscription?

That's a Good Idea.

Also, write out a little regimen for her to follow (at home) with a small list of products. Buy her a Satin Cap. You don't want to overwhelm her with 50-11 different things "to do"

Since you are going to be giving her "weekly treatments" just put something uncomplicated for her to follow at home and go from there. When I lost 90% of my Hair, (Salon Damage) a Relaxer was the LAST Thing I wanted to see. I went about 12 weeks w/o one.

Took Control over my own Hair Health.....

And just incorporated weekly Protein & Moisturizing DC Treatments until it got stronger and healthier.

 

[taz007]

I'm really heartbroken. I've been relaxing her hair now for about 6 months..and I've been telling her how to take care of her hair. She hasn't been listening. Today she came to get her hair relaxed and 70% if is gone . I refused to perm her hair and now i'm doing a treatment with aloe and silicon mix. This is her "regimen"..i use that term loosely.

She claims she washes her hair every two weeks with mizani shampoo and conditioner.(no deep conditioner)
She doesn't apply conditioner everyday.
She wears wigs..without applying conditioner
She sleeps on cotton pillow cases without protecting her hair.

The sad part about it was that she didn't even notice her hair was breaking.

I don't know what to do. I offered to do her treatments once a week..and everything. I don't know if she is a lost cause or what.

Btw..she use to have beautiful hair growing up..and she had a stylist damage her hair about a decade ago. Till this day..she is saying her hair hasn't fully recovered. I need some help yall..thank you.

When you say that 70% of it is gone, are you talking length or does she have bald patches? Knowing this information will help determine her course of action.

Good on you for not relaxing her hair!

 

[dcprdiva]

Sorry to hear about your sis hair - can you describe her hair's condition

 

[IDareT'sHair]

When you say that 70% of it is gone, are you talking length or does she have bald patches? Knowing this information will help determine her course of action.

Good on you for not relaxing her hair!

Right!

I had Bald Patches.

 

[SherylsTresses]

Her hair is damaged and she hasn't listened to your advice and you are a member of LHCF...?!?! I would advise her to search our site and do her own research. That way she can see that you were only trying to help her. I'm sure in no time at all her hair will be on its way to recovery.

 

[Freespirit02]

she doesn't have bald patches (thank God)..but her hair broke down to her new growth. She has been neglicating her hair and just throwing a wig on it..without any conditoner. I feel horrible. At first I thought it was me..and the way I've been perming her hair, however..I do my hair, my moms and sometimes my other sister..and our hair is fine. Her hair is really dry..and she experiences flaky scalp. I hope she takes my advice. To make it worse my mom is telling her to "grease" her scalp to keep it moisturized! I almost lost it!

 

[n_vizion]

What does she think of her hair in the state it's in? It sounds like she's not very concerned with the health of her own hair. Unless you have the time and dedication to do her hair weekly or bi-weekly, it seems that what you do will likely be in vain.

Since it appears as if she prefers no fuss/low hassle hair, you may want to talk her into sporting her natural hair and maybe braiding or locking the hair. Relaxed hair just takes so much babying that someone who doesn't want to even tie the hair up a night won't be able to maintain.

You're a great sister for caring for the hair of your family. Not a lot of people would do that.

 

[Hairsnob]

Sounds like she fell victim to the wig neglect your own hair syndrome. I know how frustrated you are when people don't listen. I have friends like that myself and it drives me crazy. Their first response is "I don't have time to do all that". If she REALLY wants you to nurse her hair back to health then she would have to promise to keep up on her regimen.

It sounds like she wasn't moisturizing at all since you said it broke off down to the new growth. How sad and after all your hard work.

Sorry to say but it's like a drug addict, they have to want it for themselves. So don't drive yourself crazy and consider washing your hands if it's causing too much stress. But I keep forgetting this is your sister, so that's kinda hard to do. Maybe after she sees your progress she will turn around.

Good luck!

 

[Tamrin]

When you say relaxing for 6 months, what do you mean. How often have you relaxed her hair? How about giving her a little care basket even if its samples and in it include a satin bonnet and if you do not want to pay give her a user name and password on LHCF (free account where she can only lurk if you do not want to pay) let her search for herself.

She will realize one day she needs the help. You cannot force people, I have learned that a long time ago.

 

[bravenewgirl87]

She sounds like my mother. My hair is growing like weeds and all she can say is that I don't know what I am doing to my hair, she's surprised it hasn't fallen out, and that I'm not a licensed stylist to be giving hair advice. I stopped wasting my time with her hair and just let it fall out. Sometimes you simply cannot help the helpless. Women are so busy focusing on why your hair grows as opposed to what you do to make it grow. I would take IDare's advice, but depending on whether or not the hair is balding, she may need to invest in a growth aid and some Qhemet Biologics.

However, you don't spend your money to buy expensive products for her! It might be a waste of your money if she isn't willing to listen to your free advice.

 

[pookaloo83]

Luvurself84, I'm so serious when I say that my sister is going through the exact same thing your sister is going through. I thought I wrote your posts. She throws a wig on everyday, and It fell off all the way to the new growth. I gave her protein treatments. Soon as I did that, all breakage stopped. I used Nexxus Emergencee. Then I did a deep condition on her. Now her hair is doing a little better. She thinks it's the perms, so she is deciding to go back natural. This didn't start until she went back to perms.

 

[tocktick]

Since it appears as if she prefers no fuss/low hassle hair, you may want to talk her into sporting her natural hair and maybe braiding or locking the hair. Relaxed hair just takes so much babying that someone who doesn't want to even tie the hair up a night won't be able to maintain.

Natural probably isn't best route to go if one wants low-maintenance hair unless one is planning to only have a TWA.

It seems to me that she is simply lazy. OP, you have provided her with a lot of quality information but she may just not interested in hair care or having healthy hair. Maybe she thinks it's all good so long as there are weaves/wigs to slap on her head?

OP, if I were you I'd show her some inspirational fotkis. I would also throw together a little beginners guide book with simple steps on how to take care of hair (inc. how to protective style successfully, trips for dry hair etc). Check out the newbie threads for info and add your own stuf too. She would able to refer to the guide when need be without get verbal info through you. If she's really interested, she will follow the written info. If she doesn't follow it, that's on her. Ultimately, you can lead a horse to water but cannot make it drink.

 

[Freespirit02]

What does she think of her hair in the state it's in? It sounds like she's not very concerned with the health of her own hair. Unless you have the time and dedication to do her hair weekly or bi-weekly, it seems that what you do will likely be in vain.

Since it appears as if she prefers no fuss/low hassle hair, you may want to talk her into sporting her natural hair and maybe braiding or locking the hair. Relaxed hair just takes so much babying that someone who doesn't want to even tie the hair up a night won't be able to maintain.

You're a great sister for caring for the hair of your family. Not a lot of people would do that.

I'm starting to question that myself..seeing since i pretty much BC'ed her hair..she hasn't called me yet with any questions. She is one who likes to maintain herself anyway..i personally would be distraught with such an episode. I think I will wait and see if she contacts me..

 

[Freespirit02]

When you say relaxing for 6 months, what do you mean. How often have you relaxed her hair? How about giving her a little care basket even if its samples and in it include a satin bonnet and if you do not want to pay give her a user name and password on LHCF (free account where she can only lurk if you do not want to pay) let her search for herself.

She will realize one day she needs the help. You cannot force people, I have learned that a long time ago.

I have been doing her touch ups for maybe 6-8 months..this would of been her third touch up I have given her. I told her I would personally go out and buy her deep conditioners..that's how badly I wanted to help. I guess you can lead a horse to water..but you can't make them drink.

 

[Freespirit02]

Natural probably isn't best route to go if one wants low-maintenance hair unless one is planning to only have a TWA.

It seems to me that she is simply lazy. OP, you have provided her with a lot of quality information but she may just not interested in hair care or having healthy hair. Maybe she thinks it's all good so long as there are weaves/wigs to slap on her head?

OP, if I were you I'd show her some inspirational fotkis. I would also throw together a little beginners guide book with simple steps on how to take care of hair (inc. how to protective style successfully, trips for dry hair etc). Check out the newbie threads for info and add your own stuf too. She would able to refer to the guide when need be without get verbal info through you. If she's really interested, she will follow the written info. If she doesn't follow it, that's on her. Ultimately, you can lead a horse to water but cannot make it drink.

I think she is lazy also. She know longer cares about her own her..just the weave. I would show her this site..but everytime she sees a black woman with long hair..she claims the must be mixed. I hope i get long hair so I crush that belief!

 

[january noir]

How many times have you relaxed her hair?

 

[dlewis]

Her hair should have recovered after a decade. That hair has long since been gone. Unless she's still doing the same thing she was doing all those years ago.

Deep conditioning and taking care of the hair under the wig/weave will help.

Ya know sometimes you can do everything in the world to help someone but if they're not willing to help themselves you are wasting your time. I invested months into doing my SIL's hair only for her to decide it was to much and because her hair stylist sister to say whatever. And her sister had not achieved the results with her hair in years that I achieve doing her hair in months.

 

[MissMeWithThatIsh]

Sounds like she fell victim to the wig neglect your own hair syndrome. I know how frustrated you are when people don't listen. I have friends like that myself and it drives me crazy. Their first response is "I don't have time to do all that". If she REALLY wants you to nurse her hair back to health then she would have to promise to keep up on her regimen.

It sounds like she wasn't moisturizing at all since you said it broke off down to the new growth. How sad and after all your hard work.

Sorry to say but it's like a drug addict, they have to want it for themselves. So don't drive yourself crazy and consider washing your hands if it's causing too much stress. But I keep forgetting this is your sister, so that's kinda hard to do. Maybe after she sees your progress she will turn around.

Good luck!

There's nothing you can do for her... I hope she adopts healthy practices soon