My retention is driving me crazy

My Friend said:
@faithVA
@SummerSolstice

I use S-curl, Coconut oil, and HSR that's it.
Click to expand...

My Friend

It could be the excessive glycerin that's in the S-Curl. I know I had to eliminate all products with it or my hair would be a dried, tangled mess. I live in a fairly dry climate (humidity is low even with the rain) and my hair is better off with water based, glycerin free moisturizers and butters/oils to seal.

I cannot use coconut oil solo. It dries my hair out something terrible! It generally has to be blended with other oils and butters for my hair to like it. I'm a huge oil/butter fan and find that I have to seal with a butteron a daily basis - at least my ends.
 
Pokahontas said:
It sounds like you are doing too much manipulation (daily rinsing and co-washing). Is it something you feel you absolutely have to do that since you know water tangles your hair so bad?

My hair just won't thrive on that much manipulation so I don't wash or co-wash anymore than once a week. I really don't need any more than that. My retention had come to a stand still as well but I think I'm making some progress since I started finger combing.

Also, how often do you trim? I don't retain well if I don't keep up with trims/dustings. Some people can but some can't. Before I found hair boards I refused to trim and I didn't ever gain any length from it. When I started trimming I started retaining....it was an eye opener for me.
Click to expand...

I cowash and rinse everyday because I workout. My hair is in cornrows so no manipulation.


Pokahontas
I trimmed 2 years ago :look:
 
My Friend said:
I cowash and rinse everyday because I workout. My hair is in cornrows so no manipulation.


@Pokahontas
I trimmed 2 years ago :look:
Click to expand...

:huh: Where's that dead icon when you need it.

Ok giving you the benefit of the doubt. You have dusted in the past few months right?

If no, girl cut trim your ends.
 
faithVA said:
Yes, I see you are a cowasher. The reason I mentioned the things that I did was because I use to have the same problem. It was a combination of my products and removing shed hairs.

Not saying it's the case but listing possibilities. You aren't getting the shed hairs out or maybe your cuticles are having some issues and starting to stick together

Since you are a cowasher, have you tried putting conditioner right over your prepoo before letting the water hit your hair?
Click to expand...

I agree. How does a tender headed diva get shed hairs out?:look:
Do you lose hair everytime you detangle?

faithVA
 
greenandchic said:
@My Friend

It could be the excessive glycerin that's in the S-Curl. I know I had to eliminate all products with it or my hair would be a dried, tangled mess. I live in a fairly dry climate (humidity is low even with the rain) and my hair is better off with water based, glycerin free moisturizers and butters/oils to seal.

I cannot use coconut oil solo. It dries my hair out something terrible! It generally has to be blended with other oils and butters for my hair to like it. I'm a huge oil/butter fan and find that I have to seal with a butteron a daily basis - at least my ends.
Click to expand...

greenandchic

What product do you use? I love the way coconut oil feels on my skin so I thought my hair would love it too.
 
My Friend said:
I agree. How does a tender headed diva get shed hairs out?:look:
Do you lose hair everytime you detangle?

@faithVA
Click to expand...

The weird thing with my hair, no matter how damaged it was, even with my 4b, crazy shrinkage, my hair doesn't really tangle :ohwell:

If I have a lot of shed hairs because its been up for a while, I have several ways of prepooing.
1. Put oil on dry hair at night. Baggy overnight. Then just slide my fingers down my twist or strands and remove the shed hair. If I don't have overnight, I baggy and sit under my heat cap.

2. If I'm not lazy I may mix oil and AVG and prepoo and then remove the shed hairs with my fingers.

If it hasn't been very long since my last wash, I don't need to do any of that. I just get in the shower, let the water run on in and run my fingers down the sections.

Some cowash with conditioner. I just use oil because the conditioner wasn't necessary.

Because I used to wear twist a lot :look: I really didn't have to use a comb. By the time I condition, apply product, and run my fingers through a section it's detangled.
 
My Friend said:
@faithVA

Dusted? :look: Oh girl, I dust my house once a week. My hair :nono:
Click to expand...

What are you waiting for? In 2 years then your cuticles on your ends could be damaged. I was shown my damaged strands and it looks like a branch with mini branches coming off of it. Those mini branches wrap around each other. Trim your ends before you are over in the TWA thread with me girl.
 
My Friend said:
@greenandchic

What product do you use? I love the way coconut oil feels on my skin so I thought my hair would love it too.
Click to expand...

In terms of leave-ins I use Yes To Carrots Conditioner (Its a rinse out but it makes a good leave in). I sometimes used L'Oreal EverCreme Nourishing Conditioner out of the shower. I like it because its a little thicker.

I love coconut oil on my skin, but its not so good on my hair.
Olive
Jojoba
Avocado
Castor - good in a combo with other oils for sealing
Broccoli - good for shine & slip while mixed with other oils or conditioner
Shea - love shea oil solo
Shea butter - whipped with other oils until its soft and fluffy
 
avocado butter is good too.

are you using a brush? have you tried the aveda brush before? in my exp as a stylist it was the only thing that REALLY detangled without ripping hair out.

how often are you detangling My Friend
 
My Friend said:
Is that a natural leave in? I prefer those.

@MystiqueBabe
Click to expand...

The KC Knot Today leave-in is supposed to be organic. Mane n Tail is not organic.

Also please get a trim. Not trimming caused slow growth for me and breakage. If your hair is fine trims are pretty much mandatory. I suggest trimming every 3 months and you will see improvement. You may have to let go of a bit of length if you haven't trimmed in 2 years. Also limit your use of heat that is what helped me with retention. I went cold turkey with direct heat, but you don't have to.
 
My Friend said:
I'm kinda tender headed so I kinda rub and massage it :look: I rarely take a comb to the roots (ouch).
Click to expand...


My Friend

I think u should get the aveda brush. please trust me I'm so very tender headed this is the only one I can use. I also have to do small sections, but for some reason these bristles just go right through.

http://www.amazon.com/Aveda-Wooden-...344539990&sr=1-1-catcorr&keywords=aveda+brush

I've had mine for 2 years now and all of the bristles are intact. they don't bend and get caught on your strands and they also don't have that stupid nub on the end of each bristle.

I think this might help you a lot. The shed hair from not detangling is probably causing all of your tangles.

Also try mane and tail detangler and redken smooth down butter treat. those 2 keep my 4a/b in check. and I TANGLE trust me my hair will lock up in a day if I leave it alone.
 
How often do you comb your hair? I used to read about finger-combing here and how people would go days/weeks without a comb. I tried the same and my hair took me to knotsville lol.

I think you should start washing your hair in sections and combing it more regularly (if you don't already).
 
My Friend said:
I cowash and rinse everyday because I workout. My hair is in cornrows so no manipulation.


@Pokahontas
I trimmed 2 years ago :look:
Click to expand...
Ok I see. Some people can not trim and be fine but 2 years would put a screeching halt to my retention (I have fine hair). I would start there if I were you. Clarify your hair (I read you hadn't clarified in a long time), your hair could have a build up from all the co washing preventing any moisture from getting in which would cause breakage.
 
My Friend said:
MrsJaiDiva

What product to you use?

Thanks for responding.
Click to expand...

Co-cleansers

Wen - Mango Coconut, or Fig
Deva-Curl No Poo
HydroQuench Systems - Coconut Lime, or Strawberry Coconut

Conditioners

Tresseme Naturals Moisture Conditioner
Renpure My Pretty Hair is Parched - Terrific slip, but has cones...which I love.

I use a mix of Castor, Coconut, and Wheat Germ oil to seal after cleansing, but before applying conditioner.

ETA: I also agree with getting a trim. I need regular trims, and heavy protein to retain. I trim at least 3x's a year.
 
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Ohhh lawd...! You haven't dusted or trimmed in 2 years?! :spank:

That's part of the reason I had to BC last month, My Friend! Time to trim! Faith is right, you will be joining us in the TWA thread soon enough you keep that up! :perplexed

On a general note, I agree it might be time to try other products on the hair.

You didn't mention if your hair is dry? Try washing it as normal and let it dry without product and see where it's at. If it's dry and brittle then these products arent working and you will need to reasses your regi...
 
MystiqueBabe said:
The KC Knot Today leave-in is supposed to be organic. Mane n Tail is not organic.

Also please get a trim. Not trimming caused slow growth for me and breakage. If your hair is fine trims are pretty much mandatory. I suggest trimming every 3 months and you will see improvement. You may have to let go of a bit of length if you haven't trimmed in 2 years. Also limit your use of heat that is what helped me with retention. I went cold turkey with direct heat, but you don't have to.
Click to expand...

0live0il said:
How often do you comb your hair? I used to read about finger-combing here and how people would go days/weeks without a comb. I tried the same and my hair took me to knotsville lol.

I think you should start washing your hair in sections and combing it more regularly (if you don't already).
Click to expand...

Pokahontas said:
Ok I see. Some people can not trim and be fine but 2 years would put a screeching halt to my retention (I have fine hair). I would start there if I were you. Clarify your hair (I read you hadn't clarified in a long time), your hair could have a build up from all the co washing preventing any moisture from getting in which would cause breakage.
Click to expand...

DarkJoy said:
Ohhh lawd...! You haven't dusted or trimmed in 2 years?! :spank:

That's part of the reason I had to BC last month, @My Friend! Time to trim! Faith is right, you will be joining us in the TWA thread soon enough you keep that up! :perplexed

On a general note, I agree it might be time to try other products on the hair.

You didn't mention if your hair is dry? Try washing it as normal and let it dry without product and see where it's at. If it's dry and brittle then these products arent working and you will need to reasses your regi...
Click to expand...

MystiqueBabe Pokahontas

0live0il DarkJoy

Why do I need to trim? I only use heat twice a year on heat protected hair. I thought trimming and dusting was for people who used heat or chemicals.

I'm not saying this won't help but I want to understand why.
 
SummerSolstice

I'm going to check the store this weekend. That's right. You are a stylist! Good advice. Thank you.


SummerSolstice said:
@My Friend

I think u should get the aveda brush. please trust me I'm so very tender headed this is the only one I can use. I also have to do small sections, but for some reason these bristles just go right through.

http://www.amazon.com/Aveda-Wooden-...344539990&sr=1-1-catcorr&keywords=aveda+brush

I've had mine for 2 years now and all of the bristles are intact. they don't bend and get caught on your strands and they also don't have that stupid nub on the end of each bristle.

I think this might help you a lot. The shed hair from not detangling is probably causing all of your tangles.

Also try mane and tail detangler and redken smooth down butter treat. those 2 keep my 4a/b in check. and I TANGLE trust me my hair will lock up in a day if I leave it alone.
Click to expand...
 
DarkJoy said:
Ohhh lawd...! You haven't dusted or trimmed in 2 years?! :spank:

That's part of the reason I had to BC last month, @My Friend! Time to trim! Faith is right, you will be joining us in the TWA thread soon enough you keep that up! :perplexed

On a general note, I agree it might be time to try other products on the hair.

You didn't mention if your hair is dry? Try washing it as normal and let it dry without product and see where it's at. If it's dry and brittle then these products arent working and you will need to reasses your regi...
Click to expand...

DarkJoy

Since I wet my hair twice a day, It's never dry to the touch. How do I know if my hair is moisturized and not just wet or is that the same thing?
 
About trimming, it's necessary even when you are natural and not using heat. I didn't use heat until last month and saw how crappy my ends were. I hadn't trimmed in years either. The ends do get frayed and the frays will carry up the shaft destroying the length of your hair. Sometimes the breaks are teeny tiny and you don't notice, but they'll keep happening, hence, why your hair stays the same length for years at a time. Those little ends need to go and retention will be better.

I BC 3" last month and dusted last week and I retained almost an inch! Two more months and I'll be back where I was. And that was faster than the cpl years to get me to that original starting point.

Not everyone can go without cutting. Some people's hairs grow faster than their break rate...some not. Fine hair is worse because the ends can be so fragile.

As far as letting it dry w/o product, I decided to try this once a month to see the condition of my hair. If I'm always slathering stuff on it, then how can I know it's true condition? How will I know if it's brittle or dry and if the ends are a mess if I alwyas have some butter on it making it appear fake smooth? I did it already and see that it's dry but not brittle so need to keep using penetrative DCs. Thought this idea might help you. Of course, once I check the condition, I re-wet it and put stuff back on it right away. :) lol

You will get used to the feel of your hair natural hair w/o product and will be easily able to tell what is naturally moisturized for you. Dry and brittle is very obvious...and of course, that would be contributing to the 'micro' breakage despite using product.
 
Last edited:
@My Friend - I think you misunderstood me, lol. I asked you how often do you comb, not how often do you trim. Personally I just cut knots and strands that I think aren't very healthy. I've been natural for about a year and a half and I've only had two minor trims. I think if you keep your hair healthy you don't need to trim often at all.

I used to have problems with knots until I started to comb more often. Every night I put my hair in sections and ever-so delicately comb through my hair. I spritz it with a little bit of water & olive oil.. so my hair is damp. I never brush it when it's 100% dry. If you combine this ritual with washing your hair in sections, I think your tangle nightmare will disappear and you'll be able to retain all your new-growth.

So far this method hasn't failed me.. and I always retain half an inch or more. Good luck with whatever method you decide to try.
 
My Friend DeepPrePoo has help me with tangles ,but misting my hair with with a mix of 50% spring water,40% rose water and 10% aloe vera has help my ends. I mist my hair as needed on dry hair. I know on this forum you will find something that works...
 
@OliveOil

Comb? Like with a real comb or like using the water from the shower as a comb, kinda :look: Like lean your head back let the water run through it and put it in a bun kinda combing?

0live0il said:
@My Friend - I think you misunderstood me, lol. I asked you how often do you comb, not how often do you trim. Personally I just cut knots and strands that I think aren't very healthy. I've been natural for about a year and a half and I've only had two minor trims. I think if you keep your hair healthy you don't need to trim often at all.

I used to have problems with knots until I started to comb more often. Every night I put my hair in sections and ever-so delicately comb through my hair. I spritz it with a little bit of water & olive oil.. so my hair is damp. I never brush it when it's 100% dry. If you combine this ritual with washing your hair in sections, I think your tangle nightmare will disappear and you'll be able to retain all your new-growth.

So far this method hasn't failed me.. and I always retain half an inch or more. Good luck with whatever method you decide to try.
Click to expand...
 
My Friend A DeepPrePoo or PreDeepPoo is when you deep condition your dry hair before you actually shampoo. Pre Deep Condition on dry hair for an extended period of time like 5 to 24 hours before you shampoo. This makes my hair so soft and detangled that after I shampoo I don't even have to condition afterward. I seal my cuticles with an oil before twisting or bantu knotting, then airdry.
 
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