my quality men thread

Well, I was going to write a reply before it poofed, so I'll just write it here...

RE: Some posters asking why do you have to go to certain places to find quality men and how can you discern quality without going on a date.

The way I interpreted OP's question was where do you have the higher probability of encountering a quality man. I agree that you can find a good man anywhere. However, there are certain places that you may have had more luck in finding a guy, so the purpose of the thread is to share venues/situations where you've been the most successful at meeting the type of guy you want.

It's also very true that you cannot discern quality without going on at least one to a few dates. However, there are certain basic characteristics that you as a woman should require in your men. If the guy does not meet those basic characteristics (and by basic I mean like 3-4 dealbreakers, not a laundry list) then you have every right to choose not to even go on a date with him. Aside from how he treats you, there are simple things that I want my man to have, and if he doesn't have that, then he's just not a quality man for *me*.
 
Lol are we trying to bring the thread back?

Yea, I was trying to see if there was any general pattern to how quality men approach women they are serious about dating and taking to the next level vs guys who like to play games and just get in your pants or don't have much too offer. Is one more likely to ask out randomly without knowing anything about you, attempt to have at least a brief concersation with you to see if you have anything in common, or wait until you establish a decent friendship to see what you're really like before they ask you out? And do quality and non quality type of men tend to approach only in certain situations like social vs non social or you being flirty/friendly or not acknowledging them at all?
 
lushcoils said:
Lol are we trying to bring the thread back?

Yea, I was trying to see if there was any general pattern to how quality men approach women they are serious about dating and taking to the next level vs guys who like to play games and just get in your pants or don't have much too offer. Is one more likely to ask out randomly without knowing anything about you, attempt to have at least a brief concersation with you to see if you have anything in common, or wait until you establish a decent friendship to see what you're really like before they ask you out? And do quality and non quality type of men tend to approach only in certain situations like social vs non social or you being flirty/friendly or not acknowledging them at all?
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IME, quality men have some sort of conversation with you. They don't come with a "Hey ma, you looking good...gimme your number type" spiel. You can meet them wherever, but I'm more likely to meet them in social situations, b/c on the streets, I'm always either rushing somewhere or with someone else. Also, they respond to reciprocal flirting and usually do not go above and beyond if you're not being receptive, as they're more apt to respect your space if you give off the signal that you're not interested.

That's just my experience...I'm sure there are many folks who have experienced the opposite or met the hedge fund guy who dresses like UGK with a Jesus piece on the weekends and likes to start off his approach with "Ayyy gurrlll..why you so foine?"
 
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lushcoils said:
Lol are we trying to bring the thread back?

Yea, I was trying to see if there was any general pattern to how quality men approach women they are serious about dating and taking to the next level vs guys who like to play games and just get in your pants or don't have much too offer. Is one more likely to ask out randomly without knowing anything about you, attempt to have at least a brief concersation with you to see if you have anything in common, or wait until you establish a decent friendship to see what you're really like before they ask you out? And do quality and non quality type of men tend to approach only in certain situations like social vs non social or you being flirty/friendly or not acknowledging them at all?
Click to expand...

Well, I can speak for my situation. So here I go.

I have noticed that I meet the quality men (if you wanna call it that) while I'm at school. Usually, I"m minding my business or I"m crackin' jokes with another guy and then another guy who hears it joins in. From there, he starts to talk to me.

Case in point. One of my classes I always joke around with one of the guy members in my group and a guy that sits next to him always hears my jokes and join in on the convo. From there, I just noticed that he was more into me. All of the clues were there and hella obvious..I've caught him looking at me. I look at him back and he doesn't look the other way, he just KEEPS RIGHT ON LOOKING :lachen:. So I KEEP RIGHT ON LOOKING AT HIM!:lachen:. During classes if we have to do presentations in front of everyone, he does the speaking for his group and he looks right. at. me. while he's talking. And I look right. back. at. him. :lol: During break, he'll talk with me more, shares his food with me...talks to me about his job (he's an IT guy at a govt. company...prior airforce, one child with autism, divorced..has a dirty mind like me:lachen:).

One day he walked by me and I said, "Jake (his name) you smell really good. What are you wearing?" He then says, "Cologne. (in the sarcastic lol way)." Then I say, "Duh I mean the designer, lol!" Then the following week there was another guy who smelled good as well and I asked him. So I asked that guy what he was wearing and Jake said, "Nah that's me that smells like that." So I got closer to him and I said, "That ain't you! :lachen:." And he was like, "No get closer right here I promise it's me.":grin: It was really the other guy but I ain't tell him.

It's to the point that after class is over, he lingers around because I haven't left so he walks out with me. I sat next to him last week because my usually computer was not acting right and he was VERY talkative:lachen:, flirty, shared lunch with me again. Body language was all there, eye contact....

Sorry if it's so long! :yep:
 
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Menina Preta said:
IME, quality men have some sort of conversation with you. They don't come with a "Hey ma, you looking good...gimme your number type" spiel. You can meet them wherever, but I'm more likely to meet them in social situations, b/c on the streets, I'm always either rushing somewhere or with someone else. Also, they respond to reciprocal flirting and usually do not go above and beyond if you're not being receptive, as they're more apt to respect your space if you give off the signal that you're not interested.

That's just my experience...
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That has been my experience as well! I think that generally holds true with only a few exceptions. Now I did have a law professor who was quite straitlaced during the day. However, several classmates saw him at more than a few clubs wearing a wifebeater and a huge gold chain on the weekends. And he DID apparently use the kind of pick up lines we associate with foolishness. That is kind of in line with what you were saying about the hedge fund dude. :grin: Go figure.
 
RachelRegina said:
Well, I can speak for my situation. So here I go.

I have noticed that I meet the quality men (if you wanna call it that) while I'm at school. Usually, I"m minding my business or I"m crackin' jokes with another guy and then another guy who hears it joins in. From there, he starts to talk to me.

Case in point. One of my classes I always joke around with one of the guy members in my group and a guy that sits next to him always hears my jokes and join in on the convo. From there, I just noticed that he was more into me. All of the clues were there and hella obvious..I've caught him looking at me. I look at him back and he doesn't look the other way, he just KEEPS RIGHT ON LOOKING :lachen:. So I KEEP RIGHT ON LOOKING AT HIM!:lachen:. During classes if we have to do presentations in front of everyone, he does the speaking for his group and he looks right. at. me. while he's talking. And I look right. back. at. him. :lol: During break, he'll talk with me more, shares his food with me...talks to me about his job (he's an IT guy at a govt. company...prior airforce, one child with autism, divorced..has a dirty mind like me:lachen:).

One day he walked by me and I said, "Jake (his name) you smell really good. What are you wearing?" He then says, "Cologne. (in the sarcastic lol way)." Then I say, "Duh I mean the designer, lol!" Then the following week there was another guy who smelled good as well and I asked him. So I asked that guy what he was wearing and Jake said, "Nah that's me that smells like that." So I got closer to him and I said, "That ain't you! :lachen:." And he was like, "No get closer right here I promise it's me.":grin: It was really the other guy but I ain't tell him.

It's to the point that after class is over, he lingers around because I haven't left so he walks out with me. I sat next to him last week because my usually computer was not acting right and he was VERY talkative:lachen:, flirty, shared lunch with me again. Body language was all there, eye contact....

Sorry if it's so long! :yep:
Click to expand...

Soooooo when ya'll gonna go out?:grin:
 
Being a professor doesn't automatically means he's quality though, especially since he acts that way in the club. :/
 
My two most recent experiences with men that would fit the LHCF definition of a quality man;

Guy #1 – All around good guy, meets all the basic criteria. We met at a training class for work that I was in this summer. There were few minorities so the few of us began hanging out on the weekends and he would plan group outings and include me. He eventually asked me on a date at the 2nd group event, confessed to me that he rarely approaches women he doesn’t know at all.
Guy #2 – Great guy meets all the basic criteria, we went to high school together, recently found out we live in the same city. He saw via Fbook that one of my closest friends was having an event at this spot and he emailed her and asked her if it was open to everyone. He told her he would like to come b/c he figured I would be there. Now this is a guy I know from high school and we’re Fbook friends and all. He could’ve emailed me but I guess he wanted to try a different avenue of approach. Anyways, once at the event he kinda clinged around, telling my friends he liked me etc. Throughout the night he brought the girls and I drinks and sparked an indv convo with me later on that ended with me giving him my #.

In my experience quality men rarely approach in the traditional way, it's usually thru work or a mutual friend etc.
 
*5+5 said:
My two most recent experiences with men that would fit the LHCF definition of a quality man;

Guy #1 – All around good guy, meets all the basic criteria. We met at a training class for work that I was in this summer. There were few minorities so the few of us began hanging out on the weekends and he would plan group outings and include me. He eventually asked me on a date at the 2nd group event, confessed to me that he rarely approaches women he doesn’t know at all.

Guy #2 – Great guy meets all the basic criteria, we went to high school together, recently found out we live in the same city. He saw via Fbook that one of my closest friends was having an event at this spot and he emailed her and asked her if it was open to everyone. He told her he would like to come b/c he figured I would be there. Now this is a guy I know from high school and we’re Fbook friends and all. He could’ve emailed me but I guess he wanted to try a different avenue of approach. Anyways, once at the event he kinda clinged around, telling my friends he liked me etc. Throughout the night he brought the girls and I drinks and sparked an indv convo with me later on that ended with me giving him my #.

In my experience quality men rarely approach in the traditional way, it's usually thru work or a mutual friend etc.
Click to expand...

I love these stories. And I agree with the last sentence. :yep:
 
lushcoils said:
Lol are we trying to bring the thread back?

Yea, I was trying to see if there was any general pattern to how quality men approach women they are serious about dating and taking to the next level vs guys who like to play games and just get in your pants or don't have much too offer. Is one more likely to ask out randomly without knowing anything about you, attempt to have at least a brief concersation with you to see if you have anything in common, or wait until you establish a decent friendship to see what you're really like before they ask you out? And do quality and non quality type of men tend to approach only in certain situations like social vs non social or you being flirty/friendly or not acknowledging them at all?
Click to expand...

That's a tough question only because there are men who are "quality" meaning that they are educated, raised well, nice, caring....the whole 9 but may not want to be in a committed relationship/marriage at the time.

It's possible, imo to meet a quality guy who may approach you in all the right ways BUT he really does not want anything as far as a stable relationship.

Basically, I don't know if there are any tips for this other than using your own gut feelings and also listenting very well to what a guy tells you and also you maybe able to tell how far he wants to go with you after a few weeks/months of talking to him. Actions always speak louder than words, in my experiences.

But I don't know of any shortcuts. Sorry.
 
Why does it seem that LHCF's definition of quality men only have to do with doctors and lawyers? Instead of starting a new thread, I just thought I'd ask it here. It seems that, in general, when meeting a "quality man" pops up, it's usually in regards running in the same social, lawyer/doctor professional circles.
 
I've noticed that as well, when someone states quality man on the forum my mind goes straight to profession. I know for me that I don't ever run into any of these types of men.

Priss Pot said:
Why does it seem that LHCF's definition of quality men only have to do with doctors and lawyers? Instead of starting a new thread, I just thought I'd ask it here. It seems that, in general, when meeting a "quality man" pops up, it's usually in regards running in the same social, lawyer/doctor professional circles.
Click to expand...
 
Really? I wasn't getting that vibe.

I thought quality in general was decent looking/attractive, family man, gentle man, intelligent, marriage minded, kind, giving, with a successful career and marketable skills that allows him to provide for his family and advance, etc etc. I think that includes more than doctors and lawyers for many. Also, engineers, journalists, professors, scientists, ITs, managers, politicians, etc...


If you look at the would you date a man without a college degree, you'll see that many here are open to dating blue collar men. Being a cashier at McDonalds or post office... maybe not so much. But careers like carpenters, electricians, mechanics etc etc are also acceptable to many here.
 
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Overall to a lot of people quality men = $ and Quality women = beauty. For me I assume these guys at the minimal have a;
-a career
-clean record
-no kids
-advance degree(s)
-ambitious
-disciplined
-committed (started the program and finished)


My high school valedictorian is one of two black male Dr. I know and on paper he is a quality man but he’s invested so much time in school, researching all over the world etc. that he prolly lacks relationship experience. We just had our 10yr reunion and I asked him had he been in a serious relationship since high school and he said “NO”, (gasped) so I guess most women would view that as not being of quality and some would hop aboard and say he is?

The other black doctor I know, oh-emm-gee his personality sucks! He only hangs out with yt folx (I met him thru a mutual friend) and he acts hella wacky. Again he’s good on paper…successful, no kids, went to school on scholarship no debt from what I was told but unless you are into a guy that gives you wedges, plays a lot of computer games and find much hilarity in someone pulling their pants down and giving someone a butt smile then you prolly wouldn’t find him quality either.
 
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