My Husband Hates My TWA

[shinyblackhair]

Wow! Thank you ladies soooo much! You girls really came through for me. I woke up this morning just feeling like "thank God I'm natural" . I know hubby is not feeling the rough look...he doesn't like "homely" I think most self-respecting Black men don't. So yes, I'm going to step it up. I do believe that my twa isn't helping the fact that I'm not really sexy-ing it up at home. If I were to be brutally honest...he wasn't all that fond of my bun when I my hair was long and relaxed. He still felt I looked homely (at home) but I guess, he liked the fact that I had hair to doll up when necessary...hope that makes sense...

So, I will step up my game and bring out my sexy. WITH my TWA, no wigs, weaves or braids (he HATES braids and micros etc). I think I may start doing wash and go at home but with some VO5 strawberry moisture milk condition as a leave in instead of gel to define. I'll have curls and I'll be smelling delish

I will make more of an effort to fix up at home, even though I'm currently a SAHM (looking for work). I think fixing myself up will boost my confidence too, and that in turn hopefully will change his attitudes and feelings. I think husbands want their wives to look fine whether their hair is short or long. That is just in their nature, generally speaking.

Regardless, at the end of the day, it's MY hair and my decision. This is a choice that I made for myself and also to be a role model to my 3 daughters and my son. I have got to remember my commitment to show them that our hair is beautiful and that we don't need chemically straightened hair to be attractive.

Side note: my 3 year old son is sitting beside me getting a kick out of all the smilies I put in this post.

 

[SelahOco]

I can relate to what you are saying about your husband. Mine doesn't like my hair either he says when females have fros they look homeless, and he hates my hair.

He'll grow into it, especially when you can do more styles. At least he defends your hair in public.

Men crack me up. I never had a TWA, but DH didn't like my natural hair at first either. Once I learned to style it and I felt sexy with it get started to really get into it.

He makes little songs about me and my natural hair. When I talk about getting a weave he calls me a sell out.

 

[sharifeh]

aww
best of luck with everything!!!
I'm so glad you decided to be sexy at home!!

 

[robot.]

My husband likes STRAIGHT HAIR he saw me with a BRAIDOUT once he said YOU NEED A PERM WITH YA NAPPY HEAD *** ,,i roll my eyes washed it out got my straight style back tha how i lost all my lenght completely stop doin protectives styles wearing.Now its time for a change for new years either i strengh my relaxer for yr by wearing braids or completely go natural for 6 month do the bc he can go straight to hell dont for get he HATES WEAVE PERIOD HE SAID ITS GHETTO.

We woulda been fighting. I wish my husband would!

 

[moore.1506]

OP, I think it just may be your confidence that yur DH is missing. Flaunt your fro with pride! I agree with others that suggested accesories, etc. You get more variety with length and from what you're saying it sounds like he's very supportive. When I tried to straighten my hair the other day, my DH was like "I thought you weren't going to do that to your hair anymore...I thought it was all part of your 'treatment plan'." I guess he's gotten so used to my natural hair that he doesn't want me to change from that!

It's probably just still a shock to him but in time, he'll love it as much as you do! Besides, you are too pretty for him not to!

That is sooo funny! My SO is like that, he doesn't understand some stuff lol.

Wow! Thank you ladies soooo much! You girls really came through for me. I woke up this morning just feeling like "thank God I'm natural" . I know hubby is not feeling the rough look...he doesn't like "homely" I think most self-respecting Black men don't. So yes, I'm going to step it up. I do believe that my twa isn't helping the fact that I'm not really sexy-ing it up at home. If I were to be brutally honest...he wasn't all that fond of my bun when I my hair was long and relaxed. He still felt I looked homely (at home) but I guess, he liked the fact that I had hair to doll up when necessary...hope that makes sense...

So, I will step up my game and bring out my sexy. WITH my TWA, no wigs, weaves or braids (he HATES braids and micros etc). I think I may start doing wash and go at home but with some VO5 strawberry moisture milk condition as a leave in instead of gel to define. I'll have curls and I'll be smelling delish

I will make more of an effort to fix up at home, even though I'm currently a SAHM (looking for work). I think fixing myself up will boost my confidence too, and that in turn hopefully will change his attitudes and feelings. I think husbands want their wives to look fine whether their hair is short or long. That is just in their nature, generally speaking.

Regardless, at the end of the day, it's MY hair and my decision. This is a choice that I made for myself and also to be a role model to my 3 daughters and my son. I have got to remember my commitment to show them that our hair is beautiful and that we don't need chemically straightened hair to be attractive.

Side note: my 3 year old son is sitting beside me getting a kick out of all the smilies I put in this post.

Awww im glad your feeling better, I agree with other posters, I think as it continues to grow you will figure out more styles (honestly funny thing is I always thought you were one of the posters who had a face that could carry a twa)

Its also weird that last night I had a huge discussion with my SO because I put up an album on my facebook of women with natural hair. All of the hair was fros, he was like I thought you were going natural I didn't know you were getting a fro! I said ummm a fro is a style just like wearing it straight is a style.

Like others said get your sexy back, you have a beautiful face start experimenting, you never know what might look good on you.

 

[shinyblackhair]

Awww im glad your feeling better, I agree with other posters, I think as it continues to grow you will figure out more styles (honestly funny thing is I always thought you were one of the posters who had a face that could carry a twa)


Like others said get your sexy back, you have a beautiful face start experimenting, you never know what might look good on you.

:majorly blushing: Thank YOU! You seriously made my day, with your kind compliments. Thank you very much.

 

[PeanutButterandHoney]

I figured FH would be saying some of the same things in this thread.
So, I went and bought hair accessories, earrings, stepped my makeup game up and got a lil more sass in my dress.
He's the typical 'I want long hair' country man, so when I cut my hair, I did it while he was away on business.
he finally saw it last weekend and stop and stared and said:
"Guhl, you is fiyah, you hear me?"
He then would not stop going on and on about how thick my hair was and how sexy I am and how when we got home he gone do some thangs to me"
the point of this is, it's truly not the hair.. it's the confidence.
You have gorgeous hair and you are extremely pretty, maybe it's not the hir, it's the way you are carrying yourself.

Don't work against him, work with him.
Ask him one day to dress you, makeup , perfume, all of it.
Ask for his suggestions.
Don't make this out to be a sista souldja moment of "Imma do me and he gone deal with it" rather, make him feel valuable and show him that your hair is staying but he can learn to love it too.
Ask him if he wants it to grow, that he massage it with your fav oils a few times a week.
Do not make hair a stress in your marriage, it's not worth it.

Don't worry about it. In time he will love your hair. My husband did not like it when I first cut my hair, but he likes it much better now since it has grown and I can do more styles.

Can you explain to me how you did that style in your signature?

 

[shinyblackhair]

I figured FH would be saying some of the same things in this thread.
So, I went and bought hair accessories, earrings, stepped my makeup game up and got a lil more sass in my dress.
He's the typical 'I want long hair' country man, so when I cut my hair, I did it while he was away on business.
he finally saw it last weekend and stop and stared and said:
"Guhl, you is fiyah, you hear me?"
He then would not stop going on and on about how thick my hair was and how sexy I am and how when we got home he gone do some thangs to me"
the point of this is, it's truly not the hair.. it's the confidence.
You have gorgeous hair and you are extremely pretty, maybe it's not the hir, it's the way you are carrying yourself.

Your post had me and . Thank you girl! I totally get what you're saying and think you are bang on.

Thanks again! I'm loving all the positive support from this forum. Just amazing!

 

[Chameleonchick]

I figured FH would be saying some of the same things in this thread.
So, I went and bought hair accessories, earrings, stepped my makeup game up and got a lil more sass in my dress.
He's the typical 'I want long hair' country man, so when I cut my hair, I did it while he was away on business.
he finally saw it last weekend and stop and stared and said:
"Guhl, you is fiyah, you hear me?"
He then would not stop going on and on about how thick my hair was and how sexy I am and how when we got home he gone do some thangs to me"
the point of this is, it's truly not the hair.. it's the confidence.
You have gorgeous hair and you are extremely pretty, maybe it's not the hir, it's the way you are carrying yourself.


Can you explain to me how you did that style in your signature?

Thats stuff too, its amazing how even just a pair of earrings can totally change up your look!

I went accessory crazy before I did my chop. Earrings, boots, hats, makeup, headbands. They can help make the same set of twists look completely different.

 

[PeanutButterandHoney]

Thats stuff too, its amazing how even just a pair of earrings can totally change up your look!

I went accessory crazy before I did my chop. Earrings, boots, hats, makeup, headbands. They can help make the same set of twists look completely different.

I agree. I dont think I have a twa, but it isnt a BAA either.
Earring at the minimum can set an fro off.

 

[hair4romheaven]

get a wig or weave