MY HAIR STYLIST IS TRYING TO SABOTAGE ME!!!!!!!!

amber082

amber082

New Member
So I went to go get my hair done today by the same lady who has been doing my hair for about a year now. She never has any input or any suggestions on what I should do for my ends or anything GOOD like that so I ask her questions. Of which she never has any answers. So I sit in the chair she never pre treats or anything, mind you I do have color in my hair. She slaps this perm on my hair, she has freaking Lifetime on in the background, she's talking not paying attention and I say to her "It's burning a little" her response "Already?...nah it ain't burning, maybe tingling." WTF??? So she ends up leaving it on too long. She over processed my color treated hair, combs it vigorously while WET with a plastic comb and I want to cry because I can feel it breaking, she blows it, Flat irons it and sprays alcohol based hair spray, so I left with crispy, fried, over processed scraggly hair, after I had been working so hard on it. I went home and did a conditioner wash and now it's tied up with two buns on either side. It's so flat and my scalp hurts so much. I swear I'm done with perms and my hair dresser forever.
 
Re: MY HAIR STYLIST IS TRYING TO SABOTAGE ME!!!!!!

I HATE it when people dont listen to you when your trying to tell them something about your hair. You know, 'some' people just dont wanna listen, they act like you dont whats best for your hair just cause you havent gone to hair school.
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Re: MY HAIR STYLIST IS TRYING TO SABOTAGE ME!!!!!!

DROP HER! (said in the same tone that Ms. Ceily used when she told Harpo "Beat her!" )
 
Re: MY HAIR STYLIST IS TRYING TO SABOTAGE ME!!!!!!

I agree. You should have never continued to go to her for a year simply for the fact that she can never answer any of your (valid) questions. I went to this one salon and she did my hair SO NICE. But when I asked her what should I use to care for my hair (this was before I found this board) she couldn't tell me. I'll never go back.
 
Re: MY HAIR STYLIST IS TRYING TO SABOTAGE ME!!!!!!

Unfortunately, it sounds like she is trying to sabotage you. I say DROP HER IMMEDIATELY! I would never let that fool's hands back in my hair.
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When people abuse your hair like that and you are AWARE of it, it's your duty to yourself to FORCE THEM TO STOP. Whether that be by screaming "OUCH" to embarass the hell out of them or letting them know that you'll detangle it yourself if they don't do a better, more gentle job with your hair, you MUST make them stop (even if that entails just walking out with a wet head). I know it takes guts, but trust me, it's worth it.

I hope your hair recovers quickly. Best of luck to you
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[ QUOTE ]
amber082 said:
She over processed my color treated hair, combs it vigorously while WET with a plastic comb and I want to cry because I can feel it breaking, she blows it, Flat irons it and sprays alcohol based hair spray, so I left with crispy, fried, over processed scraggly hair, after I had been working so hard on it.

[/ QUOTE ]

In general, rollersets and blowouts are easier on chemically treated hair than flat ironing with high direct heat. Has this been her routine for the entire year?
 
Re: MY HAIR STYLIST IS TRYING TO SABOTAGE ME!!!!!!

I agree with Miss brown, You Have to speak up for yourself because they will stay there and make their money, and you will be the one crying at home with regrets. Make sure she never touches your hair again. She sounds real trifling. Hope you feel better.
 
Re: MY HAIR STYLIST IS TRYING TO SABOTAGE ME!!!!!!

I know how hard it is to stand up to your stylist. I went to a stylist for over 7 years. I referred to him as my "abusive husband"...you know he treats you bad but you just cant leave him.

If it is too hard for you to say "Dont do that to my hair!" then just dont go back. Find another stylist. She will get the point. She might even have the cahoonas to call you and ask why havent you come back...just let her know (you're on the phone, so she cant sabatoge your hair anymore) you needed a higher level of service and found it elsewhere.
 
Amber I am sorry and upset that you had this experience!
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I had the same experience a few years ago and I've been leery about anyone else touching my hair ever since! I would encourage you to learn how to do your own relaxers if you choose to continue relaxing because this will save you much stress and heartache. Regarding your ends, find a friend, boyfriend, relative, etc. that you can trust and teach them how to trim your ends. (My husband does mine) This way you can be confident that they will not trim more than you've requested and your ends will look healthier as you get rid of the split ends (if you have them).
 
I am so sorry to hear about this experience. This is the main reason why I am very motivated to try to relax my hair on my own. That is the only reason I do go to beauticians. And since my move to Winston Salem, NC I have not found one good beautician that seems to know what they are doing. Just give your hair the TLC that u know it deserves and you will recover
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[ QUOTE ]
Cleo said:
Amber I am sorry and upset that you had this experience!
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I had the same experience a few years ago and I've been leery about anyone else touching my hair ever since! I would encourage you to learn how to do your own relaxers if you choose to continue relaxing because this will save you much stress and heartache. Regarding your ends, find a friend, boyfriend, relative, etc. that you can trust and teach them how to trim your ends. (My husband does mine) This way you can be confident that they will not trim more than you've requested and your ends will look healthier as you get rid of the split ends (if you have them).

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What great advice! I'm always struggling to trim my ends never considering the "help" in the other room! I will be teaching the teacher to trim
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(in September that is
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). And men hate for you to cut your hair, so he'll be sure to take as little as possible!

Amber: I have always had the worst luck with stylists, so I go only when I must. I have learned to love doing my own hair, but will go for chemical treatments. In some small way I do think there is some resistance and resentment when you don't come regularly and your hair is healthy and long. I was never able to say stop tearing my hair out, don't cut, I don't want that or whatever needed to be said. I just left (and never returned) angry that I had spent so much and wasn't happy with the results or experience. My last stylist visit was my best in a very long time, my wishes were totally respected. I think it's b/c I feel so much more informed since coming to LHCF and was very clear and assertive about what I wanted and expected. Find someone else or do it yourself, she doesn't deserve your business.
 
Thanks for all your advice guys! I appreciate it so much. After I slept on it some, My hair isn't so bad today. After conditioning it and wrapping myself last night. I realize that I am just going to have to start doing it myself. Because that lady really doesn't have my best interest in mind at all.
 
Amber,

I feel your pain. I stop going to my stylist when I became a member on this board. So my hair was about ear length. Now it's past my shoulders. Okay so I go back to her just for a french twist. She takes down my bun and starts running her fingers through it. I'm smiling to myself because I know she's looking for tracks. She oohs and aahs about how much it has grown and takes me to the wash bowl. Why after the fourth conditioner very roughly applied and combing out, does she proceed to tell me how much better it looks and feels after "her" conditioners. So after I decline her "try this new color" NO, then her "try this new cut" HELL NAH. She styles it for the french roll and puts me under the dryer. When she started combing me out I swear I saw her plant her feet when she gripped my head. The heifer was trying to give me an old fashioned Indian scalping with the smallest tooth comb she could find. I promptly stood up, looked at her and said "I know that's not my hair in that comb". She actually looked at the comb with a surprised look on her face, like she didn't know where the damn comb came from. Then she reached over and picked up the rake(which I brought with me and had asked her to use) and continued the style. She said "Oh I see you've gotten tender headed with all that hair" I told her "no, I just don't use that kind of comb on my hair"
 
Re: MY HAIR STYLIST IS TRYING TO SABOTAGE ME!!!!!!

[ QUOTE ]
ElizaBlue said:
Then she reached over and picked up the rake(which I brought with me and had asked her to use) and continued the style.

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ElizaBlue, you grew all that hair on your own without going to her salon at all? Good for you!

When I went in for a touchup on Friday, my hair was a little sticky from Surging with Sta-Sof-Fro mixed in. (Gotta stop it with the Sta-Sof-Fro already.) My stylist started to comb my hair dry with the small toothed comb on the counter. After ONE STROKE, he raised his eyebrows, said "oh"
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, and put the comb down. He went away and came back with a purple wide-toothed plastic rake. I love Todd.
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Re: MY HAIR STYLIST IS TRYING TO SABOTAGE ME!!!!!!

[ QUOTE ]
cutebajangirl said:
Meg- You touched up on Friday? Did it come out okay?

[/ QUOTE ]

Yes. I posted 3 new pictures. No huge length differences cuz I only waited 7.5 weeks. My stylist applied Affirm mild lye again for a little over 17 minutes this time. The horrid crush on him is renewed.
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I had a bunch of events to attend over the weekend, and I wanted to show off a little with the hair and contact lenses.

Amber, will you search out a new salon or will you opt to style at home now?
 
Amber, I am so sorry that happen to you! Thank God that you knew, she was trying to damage your hair. I have a phobia of hairstylist. Now if you notice any unsual shedding or breakage, you know what to do. I am still learning, but call on the bright,smart, informative ladies of the board whew, they are all so intelligent!
 
Megan I think I will chill out on going to the hair salon for a little bit. There aren't many good ones out here I live on Long island in New York, it's like at the end of the island and to find a good black salon is difficult. So I'm just going to do it myself. I'm getting pretty good at the roller setting.
 
Re: MY HAIR STYLIST IS TRYING TO SABOTAGE ME!!!!!!

Megonw,

Your hair looks very thick and healthy. Keep up the good work. Please tell me where you get your MSM. I did the Vitamin Shoppe but have not been able to find it anywhere.
 
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