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You could braid your hair with extensions until you gain a few extra inches, then the twist outs and rollersets might hang better, plus you'll get a break from doing/thinking about your hair.
To answer your question...
When my hair was between NL and BSL I could co-wash every day. Now that it's longer I won't do that anymore. To wear it curly for a week, I'll wash once and leave it up in a pony tail. Every day I'll spritz, smooth the edges, and put it up in a bun.
Op my braid out lasts atleast a week. I'm too lazy to do my hair more than that on the regular. I preserve it by twisting it into 5-7 big twist each night. And oiling when necessary.
Go on and relax it, and let us know in a year or two if your theory was correct. We are here to learn to grow and maintain healthly hair, be it relaxed or natural.
I actually stated that I dont want to relax. I used to be a straightened natural as in keeping hair flat ironed. I stopped because I wanna grow my hair I and was getting heat damge. I figured out a better technique but I don't wanna risk slowing my progress by split ends. But it was easier when I kept my hair straight. Hope that clears things up
Try using a better heat protectant, and a lower heat setting. Sabino Moisture Block works quite well.
Also straighten less often, and stretch your straighten styles a few weeks.