My hair dilemma!!!

[Crystalicequeen123]

I am getting so frustrated with my hair!! 2 nights ago I washed my hair with the Nexxus Botanoil, and then put Emergencee in my hair. (bad mistake) Then , I washed it out with therapee really well, and then put humectress conditioner in my hair along with keracare humecto conditioner and put a cap on my hair for 1 hour.

After I rinsed my hair out, my hair was STILL so hard. My hair used to be silky soft and smooth... Even after rinsing out the conditioner I used more conditioner to detangle under the shower, but that didn't do much. I'm 13 weeks post relaxer (I'll be getting a touch-up next week) and my hair now is starting to lock up at the roots. It's so tangled! Maybe using emergencee so late post relaxer wasn't such a good idea. I was just trying to do a "pre-treatment" before my relaxer next week! But now my hair looks awful. I can barely comb the roots of my hair it's so tangled. I'm thinking of seriously just cutting it all OFF and starting over.

My sister just got her hair cut to neck length, and although she is sad that her hair is so short now (it used to be shoulder length) her hair looks SOOO cute! Her hair is definitely healthier, and I think it will grow longer now that her ends look a lot better. Her stylist told her that her hair would be healthier now that it's shorter and the damaged ends are cut off.

Me on the otherhand...I still have shoulder length hair that is growing...but the ends of my hair are so messed up. I really need a cut. Do you think I should just get my hair cut like my sisters at my next touch-up next week? My ends of my "old hair" are kind of damaged. They're uneven, and although I don't really see "split ends", the ends look frizzy!! My hair at the roots and middle strands are so much healthier. WHAT DO I DO?? I NEED HELPPPPP!! ! *crying in desperation*

 

[webby]

First, "Step away from the hair products!"

Second, breath.

Ok, now let's see if we can fix ya up, here. Without knowing how long you left the Emergencee in your hair, I don't know if perhaps it was left on too long. In which case, it would definitely cause your hair to feel rough.

At this point, if you are expecting to get a touch up, you should try to gently detangle your hair by doing a CON poo. If you don't detangle your hair, I bet that your stylist is going to end up pulling out a lot of your hairs as she parts the hair to apply the relaxer.

With regards to cutting, well I'm a cutter. When my hair is damaged it feels like a nasty virus, a growth and I just want it all off to start from new. However, I have wanted to myself for doing that, because these drastic steps are not always necessary.

Try getting a decent trim, NOT a dusting (can't believe I just typed that). Then if you still feel as if your ends are damaged...trim a little more off. If you have the gumption, then by all means cut. It will always grow back.

 

[Crystalicequeen123]

Thank you so much Webby. I just feel so frustrated! I feel like all of my hard work has gone down the drain. I'm seriously thinking that maybe me waiting 14 weeks post a relaxer isn't a good idea. :-( I need some reminders on why it's so good for my hair to wait. I only left the emergencee in my hair for 10 min. like they said on the bottle. I was REALLY anal about that. But it just left my hair so tangled. My hair is not hard now after I've conditioned it and stuff, but it's just so tangled at the roots!

But thanks for the encouragement. I will try to do another condition wash tonight and see how that goes. I just washed my hair on Wednesday. Will it be bad if I do another condition wash tonight (Friday)? I may have to stay under that shower for a LONG time to really detangle well. My roots are so messed up. I've even ended up snagging my hair and tearing it trying to untangle these unruly roots of mine. :-( What do I do after detangling it in the shower? I mean...what kind of style? I have somewhere important to go to tomorrow, and I don't want my hair looking jacked up...LOL*. But then again, I don't want to do the twist outs again...I think that's what sort of tangled my hair up. I didn't really comb out the twists. :-( Maybe I should put the iron on my roots to straighten them up a bit?

Thanks for the advice on the cutting. I'm not sure exactly what a "dusting" is, but I'll definitely ask my stylist to lightly "trim" my hair. I don't really want it cut, but I DO want what's most healthy for my hair. I need a way to keep my ends healthy. Because long hair is almost silly without the healthy ends. :-/

 

[webby]

I know that many recommend stretching a relaxer, because it prevents overlapping, but I don't think that every hairtype can handle that kind of wait. Perhaps, your hair requires a touch up at a least every 8 weeks. You have to consider what's best for YOUR hair.

Look at it like this, if I have oily skin, but use products for dry skin...well, I won't get any benefit and in fact may end up with an additional problem. It's the same theory.

BTW, a dusting is when you have the minutest amount of hair just chipped from the very ends of your hair, versus an inch or more.

 

[Crystalicequeen123]

Oohhh okay. thanks for explaining what a dusting is. I had always heard the term, but never really knew what it meant. lol*

Yeah, I guess you're right. I mean, you have to do what's right for you. I like your analogy on skin care. You're so right. I always just thought that stretching was the thing to do. It was a LOT easier to stretch this time around than last time. You see, I have very fine hair naturally, and so I figured that stretching would help ease up on the overprocessing, because my hair has been badly overprocessed. Not only that, but I stopped using regular strength relaxers. I now use mild. I've noticed an improvement greatly. But, maybe waiting 12 weeks is better for me than 14, because i don't intend on putting braids in my hair (they took my hair out years ago), and I don't know of any styles I could do that would keep my hair contained until 14 weeks. The blowouts helped a LOT this time around. But even those can thin my hair out. So, I stopped. :-(

I guess I'll go home tonight and do this condition wash and see what happens. I swear, I must have a LOT more new growth than I thought because my hair is seriously locking on me, and I'm scared. What if I can't untangle it?

 

[webby]

sweety, don't panic. You'll get it detangled; it just may take you some time and LOTS of patience.

I'm glad that you explained your hair type. My mother has very fine hair and she just doesn't do well with relaxers, but she keeps trying. Maybe you should not use Emergencee so close to touchup time, like you mentioned.

I would also buy a huge, gallon size of cheapy creme rinse to use for detangling (you don't want to just pour your good stuff down the drain like that). I literally, just pour the creme rinse on my hair and slowly work out my tangles in the shower. You need to try to detangle and get your hair softer at least 3 or 4 days before your touchup. You don't want your scalp to be w/o the natural oils.

 

[Crystalicequeen123]

Aww....thanks Webby. I feel a LOT better now. :-D I wonder where I could find that cheap detangling rinse you're talking about. Any brands I could check out? I think I'll go to the store after work today and get me some "stuff". I'm such a product junkie! LOL*

Oh, and any type of comb I need to specifically use? I use mainly a widetoothed comb, but to detangle what type of comb can I use to get at these tight curly-Q's in my hair? Or, would detangling with my fingers be best?

Yes, I have type 4a/b hair. Unfortunately though, I inherited my fine hair from my grandmother. It's not "BAD" per se since my hair is really soft, but it's just that I don't have a large density of this "fine" hair, so it appears that my hair is thin. I just started using a mild relaxer due to my stylists suggestions, and so my hair has really thrived from this I feel. I can't wait to get my next mild relaxer touch up. Plus, I never did like my hair "bone straight" to begin with, so my hair feels better now.

 

[webby]

Go to sally's for a the gallon bottle of creme rinse. The jug is around $9. Most people here recommend a Jilbere comb; I just use a super wide bone-comb. That should do the trick.

BTW, hair is not bad or good, it's healthy or unhealthy