very pretty twistout lanahave been my staple style for over a yr.....i put perm rods on my ends and i get a weeks wear out of mine with no re-twisting and smooch mine under a bonnet and fluff in the morning.
You have really nice thick hair that I hope to have one day.
It looks okay for your first try. With more practice it will be perfection.
I suggest lifting with a comb at the roots so they blend more. I would also suggest putting some rollers on the ends so they look more uniform from top to bottom. You could also do a flat twist to start so there will be less un twisted hair.