My BFF Let Her Boyfriend Rule Her Hairstyles

[HairVixen]

My friend's boyfriend is always criticizing her hairstyles...so much as she won't even wear many styles because he thinks certain styles are h****sh. She used to love the flip style...he says only h---s wear that hairstyle so she stopped. I am so annoyed by it I hate when we discuss styles and she says oh so and so doesn't like that on me....

So me being he wig and weave wearer that I am, will come around and he just looks like he wants to spit. I shake it, run my fingers through , toss it just to get on his nerves. As soon as I leave he is like she just trying to get a man with that hair that even hers...and he just goes on and on.

I wish a man "would" tell me how to wear my hair...i hate that...am I the only one that feels this way...i think its way tooo much control.

 

[Charlie555]

Yes that sounds like a controling relationship. There's no way I would consider dealing with someone like that.

 

[silenttullip]

lol I'm sure ur not the only one. Personally I care A LOT about how my so feels about my hair BUT he would NEVERRRRRR make the statement that only "any name which isn't positive" wear that style because that insinuates that he'd feel I was one for that style. He's immature for that statement so I'm praying he isn't over 25 meanwhile age is rarely aligned with level of mentality these days.
I do feel we as women should care how our mate feels about our hair etc I mean I don't like long hair on guys so I'd hope my so would never grow his hair long. My point is to me and it seems to you as well it all boils down to respect. If he expressed his opinion in a respectful manner you'd probably not try to irritate him with your styles lol, am I right?

 

[I Am So Blessed]

my ex didnt like pony tails so i started not liking them becuase he didnt want me to wear them. flash back.

 

[10WordzOrLess]

I don't put up with it. And I don't like the thought of other women that have to.

But I don't flip my hair and toss my wiggedy weaves (I wear a different each weekend, love em) around to antagonize anyone's boyfriend.

If he's controlling enough to "make" your girl wear her hair a certain way, than he's controlling enough to "make" her stop chilling with you.

If she is in peril from this relationship, help her as much as you can to help her get out. Now, if she's submissive enough to WANT to change her hair for a man...Don't stress yourself, that's a lost cause.

 

[chrisanddonniesmommy]

First comes the control. Then, the verbal assaults. Finally, hitting.

She needs to split.

 

[I Am So Blessed]

First comes the control. Then, the verbal assaults. Finally, hitting.

She needs to split.

yup thats what happend to me, IN THAT ORDER!!.

 

[cocosweet]

First comes the control. Then, the verbal assaults. Finally, hitting.

She needs to split.

ASAP. It's a slippery slope once you start thinking that mess is normal.

 

[meecee]

I wear my hair for ME. No one else. DH knows better to even think about controlling how I wear my hair. His polite imput is fine, but I have the final say.

 

[Eritreladiee]

I think there's alot of women like that. They get with a dude and slowly start to change their appearance, adapting to what he likes and refraining from what he dislikes.

 

[Chaosbutterfly]

I wish a man would tell me how to wear my hair.
Or what to do with anything on my body for that matter. I'd be popping and locking on down the road before he could finish his sentence, because this is exactly how abuse starts. I have not the time for such tromfoolery, because God didn't put me on Earth to be some fool's punching bag.

It's one thing if he likes a certain style on her and wants her to wear it more often. But that man obviously needs to be sitting down someplace and considering his life, not trying to tell someone what to do with hers.
I hope she breaks up with him soon....he'll only escalate if she stays.

 

[I Am So Blessed]

I wish a man would tell me how to wear my hair.
Or what to do with anything on my body for that matter. I'd be popping and locking on down the road before he could finish his sentence, because this is exactly how abuse starts. I have not the time for such tromfoolery, because God didn't put me on Earth to be some fool's punching bag.

It's one thing if he likes a certain style on her and wants her to wear it more often. But that man obviously needs to be sitting down someplace and considering his life, not trying to tell someone what to do with hers.
I hope she breaks up with him soon....he'll only escalate if she stays.

right on.

 

[Almaz]

RUN FOREST RUN

 

[Christelyn]

yup thats what happend to me, IN THAT ORDER!!.

I dated a guy once who was also that way, and yes, that's how it goes. Believe me, they start small and then build on that to break a girl down. It is a deliberate process aimed to control, manipulate and ultimately, breakdown.

 

[L.Brown1114]

hey OP, these women are absolutely correct, but i have been in this situation and sadly if you want to keep that friendship don't say crap to her. you can say it once or twice once it gets out of control but at the end of the day some women love someone so much they forget to love themselves so they allow men to continue. if it does start getting serious shell need professional help. you try to stop her it will only make her pull away from you more and you really wont be able to help her. they can warn you all your life about these types of relationships, but no one ever tells you that the emotional pain of leaving that person could hurt worse than the physical to some females. so like naother post said dont antagonize him when you are over there, just politely tell him he needs to respect you and if he doesnt like your hair than thats his problem and his problem alone and tell him to keep his comments to himself.

 

[Sistaslick]

He need to chill and go work on his taper or something.

First off, he ain't no husband to be dictating anything in the first place. And if he was, there's nothing wrong with having a preference and saying "Look, baby I like when you do it like this etc." But he sounds VERY immature and controlling.

FLAGS all over this play

 

[HauteHippie]

hey OP, these women are absolutely correct, but i have been in this situation and sadly if you want to keep that friendship don't say crap to her. you can say it once or twice once it gets out of control but at the end of the day some women love someone so much they forget to love themselves so they allow men to continue. if it does start getting serious shell need professional help. you try to stop her it will only make her pull away from you more and you really wont be able to help her. they can warn you all your life about these types of relationships, but no one ever tells you that the emotional pain of leaving that person could hurt worse than the physical to some females. so like naother post said dont antagonize him when you are over there, just politely tell him he needs to respect you and if he doesnt like your hair than thats his problem and his problem alone and tell him to keep his comments to himself.

Yep, been there, done that. I've been the girl and I've been the friend. If she stays, it'll only get worse. If you antagonize the bf, you won't be around to know. My friend (blood-sister, I LOVE that girl!) made the right decision in the end. I eventually deferred to him in some ways, but demanded a mutual respect. He couldn't give that and I think that was his downfall. Sometimes the high road pays off for everyone who matters. Now, we're still friends while he's wondering where she went, but it literally took years.
I hope your friend gets out of this situation. It may sound like I'm overreacting, but once you've been there it's easy to recognize the symptoms of abuse. Especially when all of a group of people who do something benign are negative, so she can't do it, either. That ish is just the beginning.