Mothering Syndrome

honeycomb719

honeycomb719

New Member
I think I have a bad case of this coming on, but I dont think its wrong. Here is why:

My biggest issue I have with my boyfriend is his eating habits. He is just not a healthy eater at ALL. He doesn some of the grosses things when it comes to eating and is a pure glutton when eating some things.

Examples
He eats Cookies, cakes, or anything sweet and chases it down with soda

When out to eat, he gets numerous (3 and up) refills on pop...

He puts too much condiments on his food (excessive ketcup, salad dressing, etc..)

He doesnt eat any fruits or veggies. Total steak and potatoes type diet..

When he cooks its never real dinners, but more tacos, pizzas, raviolis etcs..

Never drinks water

These are just a few examples that really really really irk me. I have been biting my tongue on some things he do, but I get turn-off watching him eat. Then he always talking about he trying to lose some weigh. He gut seems to be growing right along with mine, and I told he we both cant have big stomachs so he needs to watch it.

I told him before I am concerned about his health and what eating habits he is teaching his son, but it seems to go in one ear and out the other.
What can I do not to seem so mothering in my concern? I know no man whats someone telling them how to eat and all, but this is really turning me off:sad:
 
I don't think there's anything wrong with caring
just don't fuss


I slowly changed my dh's diet
I cook things his mom said he would never eat
I also don't buy junk
if it's not in the house he can't eat it
I keep a salad ready in the icebox
I portion out all snacks as soon as I get it home

try healthier recipes
if he like steak try an asparagus recipe , black bean and corn salad
google some compliment recipes

it wont happen over night but you will be a positive influence
 
I do cook healthy things for us to eat. He has started to eat string beans, which he vowed he never would do and never did for his mom as a child. So I guess thats a start...
 
Was he eating that way when you met him? If so he has to want to change and the more you nag him about his eating habits the more he will continue to eat like that. You can't change a man.
 
I don't think it's "mothering" girl, unless you're treating him like a child in other ways too. If you're disgusted by his eating and worried about his health then that's a whole different thing.

I go to Sam's Club buy their veggies and fruits and leave the junk for the other people to buy. We get one sweet snack throughout the week and it's usually fresh fruit popsicles and yogurt. Every blue moon I will bake us a peach dump cake. It's delicious and not very fattening.

Now listen here, stop going out to eat with him. Start cooking more at home and only buy healthy stuff. If he puts too much of everything on his plate talk to him about that in a gentle way. Let him know food takes 10 minutes to hit our bloodstream, so he should slow down and he may need a little work on his table manners if you're grossed out.

My hubby lost 15 lbs in our first 3 months of marriage. He no longer sneaks fast food either cause I told him what was IN IT! He's more grossed out than me.

I hope it works out for you.
 
lana said:
I don't think it's "mothering" girl, unless you're treating him like a child in other ways too. If you're disgusted by his eating and worried about his health then that's a whole different thing.

I go to Sam's Club buy their veggies and fruits and leave the junk for the other people to buy. We get one sweet snack throughout the week and it's usually fresh fruit popsicles and yogurt. Every blue moon I will bake us a peach dump cake. It's delicious and not very fattening.

Now listen here, stop going out to eat with him. Start cooking more at home and only buy healthy stuff. If he puts too much of everything on his plate talk to him about that in a gentle way. Let him know food takes 10 minutes to hit our bloodstream, so he should slow down and he may need a little work on his table manners if you're grossed out.

My hubby lost 15 lbs in our first 3 months of marriage. He no longer sneaks fast food either cause I told him what was IN IT! He's more grossed out than me.

I hope it works out for you.
Click to expand...


LOL....we dont go out all that often, and when we do its cause Im sick of cooking. Mainly its breakfast we go out for, and even then he order steak and eggs:nono:. I guess I will just try to slowly wein him on to healthier foods, but its hard when he rejects most veggies, and will pick around them on his plate rather then try then. I love corn on the cob. I made some one night for dinner and he took one bite and didnt eat the rest I was pissed. My mother didnt stand for messing over food, so I wanted to make him eat it. but, all he can say was, "baby atleast I tried it" . WHich is true, but geesh Im thinming to myself...you gotta be tired of the same ole foods.
My next step is to get him to eat some broccoli. I'll probably have to smother them in cheese for him to try it :ohwell:
 
ThickHair said:
Was he eating that way when you met him? If so he has to want to change and the more you nag him about his eating habits the more he will continue to eat like that. You can't change a man.
Click to expand...


I can only assume he has been eating like this all the while. I mentioned to him its not healthy to feed his growing son like that,he needs veggies in his diet to grow strong and healthy. He just says, oh he take vitamins. They have truly been living the bachelors life before I came along. I explain to him that his son is watching everything he does, even down to his eating habits and he emmulates him. His son tries his best to keep up with him in drinking soda when we out to eat. When my bf ask for a refill, so does his son. All the while Im sitting there ready to burst and scream out, gosh dang it drink some damn water.... Its really frustrating....:wallbash:
 
honeycomb719 said:
I think I have a bad case of this coming on, but I dont think its wrong. Here is why:

My biggest issue I have with my boyfriend is his eating habits. He is just not a healthy eater at ALL. He doesn some of the grosses things when it comes to eating and is a pure glutton when eating some things.

Examples
He eats Cookies, cakes, or anything sweet and chases it down with soda

When out to eat, he gets numerous (3 and up) refills on pop...

He puts too much condiments on his food (excessive ketcup, salad dressing, etc..)

He doesnt eat any fruits or veggies. Total steak and potatoes type diet..

When he cooks its never real dinners, but more tacos, pizzas, raviolis etcs..

Never drinks water

These are just a few examples that really really really irk me. I have been biting my tongue on some things he do, but I get turn-off watching him eat. Then he always talking about he trying to lose some weigh. He gut seems to be growing right along with mine, and I told he we both cant have big stomachs so he needs to watch it.

I told him before I am concerned about his health and what eating habits he is teaching his son, but it seems to go in one ear and out the other.

What can I do not to seem so mothering in my concern? I know no man whats someone telling them how to eat and all, but this is really turning me off:sad:
Click to expand...

I can't fault you because you're doing this out of love and concern. Besides, it's kinda hard to hold your tounge when people talk about wanting to improve their health, but eat anything but health food. :ohwell:

I think the only thing you can do is to make sure he knows why you're sharing your opinions so it doesn't come across as a personal attack. Other than that, there's not much you can do because at the end of the day, grown folks are gonna do what they're gonna do.
 
MD_Lady said:
I can't fault you because you're doing this out of love and concern. Besides, it's kinda hard to hold your tounge when people talk about wanting to improve their health, but eat anything but health food. :ohwell:

I think the only thing you can do is to make sure he knows why you're sharing your opinions so it doesn't come across as a personal attack. Other than that, there's not much you can do because at the end of the day, grown folks are gonna do what they're gonna do.
Click to expand...

I agree. I think he got mad at me the other day, cuz I asked him what he had made for dinner,and he mentioned they had hot dogs and fries. That was my signal to say something. I stated that he is ALWAYS fixing them snack type foods for dinner, and its not healthy. I told him, he needs to prepare better foods for them, and he snapped talking about how hard it is as a father raising a son alone. I pushed that its no excuse and he needs to learn to prepare in advance what they will eat. Then he went on and on about by the time he picks up his son at 6pm, gets home, get settled, its too late to cook a gourmet meal...
I got frustrated and asked him if that would be acceptable if I did that once we moved together and he says its different, cuz then we will have the help of one another while the other is preparing dinner (which I didnt agree with, cuz the time schedule will be the same).
Its just frustrating, and I know he took it as a persona attack, cuz his last statement was " My son eats dinner, every night". I just left it alone:wallbash:
 
honeycomb719 said:
I agree. I think he got mad at me the other day, cuz I asked him what he had made for dinner,and he mentioned they had hot dogs and fries. That was my signal to say something. I stated that he is ALWAYS fixing them snack type foods for dinner, and its not healthy. I told him, he needs to prepare better foods for them, and he snapped talking about how hard it is as a father raising a son alone. I pushed that its no excuse and he needs to learn to prepare in advance what they will eat. Then he went on and on about by the time he picks up his son at 6pm, gets home, get settled, its too late to cook a gourmet meal...
I got frustrated and asked him if that would be acceptable if I did that once we moved together and he says its different, cuz then we will have the help of one another while the other is preparing dinner (which I didnt agree with, cuz the time schedule will be the same).
Its just frustrating, and I know he took it as a persona attack, cuz his last statement was " My son eats dinner, every night". I just left it alone:wallbash:
Click to expand...

I COMPLETLY understand your point.

As someone who gets home at 6:30 at night, I also understand his dilemma. Using marinade on chicken or pork is a quick, easy, and tasty way to prepare a meal. Frozen or canned veggies (which probably aren’t as ideal as fresh, but are a healthy choice) provide a good side. My husband is a hearty eater and both of us have enjoy cooking with these methods. Maybe your boyfriend will also have an easier time making healthier choices once he realizes how quick and tasty they can be. :yep:
 
I am hoping to meet a health nut kind of guy in the future because my ex was Mr. Unhealthy and I will not go back to that. We have got to be on the same page.
 
Er, this is basic stuff. If you get to the point where you can't stand the way someone eats, the relationship is all but over............:perplexed
 
Kei said:
I don't think there's anything wrong with caring
just don't fuss


I slowly changed my dh's diet
I cook things his mom said he would never eat
I also don't buy junk
if it's not in the house he can't eat it
I keep a salad ready in the icebox
I portion out all snacks as soon as I get it home

try healthier recipes
if he like steak try an asparagus recipe , black bean and corn salad
google some compliment recipes

it wont happen over night but you will be a positive influence
Click to expand...

I do the things thats bolded. I totally agree with this post.
 
I think I have this syndrome. I mother everyone.........my parents, my husband, kids, brother, aunts, cousins, friends, people I work with.....I mean everyone. And I think they like it.:perplexed

I understand what you mean about your SO. My husband use to be like that before we married. I changed all that when we moved in together. I do all the cooking and I bake all the desserts, I don't buy any junk and I don't buy sodas. So I have complete control over his diet.

I think it was hard for him in the beginning but after he saw that his skin looked better and he felt better and just over time it's become easier.

But I think I messed up because he donesn't like to eat out at all now.:perplexed
 
dlewis said:
I think I have this syndrome. I mother everyone.........my parents, my husband, kids, brother, aunts, cousins, friends, people I work with.....I mean everyone. And I think they like it.:perplexed

I understand what you mean about your SO. My husband use to be like that before we married. I changed all that when we moved in together. I do all the cooking and I bake all the desserts, I don't buy any junk and I don't buy sodas. So I have complete control over his diet.

I think it was hard for him in the beginning but after he saw that his skin looked better and he felt better and just over time it's become easier.

But I think I messed up because he donesn't like to eat out at all now.:perplexed
Click to expand...

I am the same way Dlewis I can't help it :nono: When men realize you can cook well and don't mind they get brand new when you suggest not cooking :lol:
 
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