Mixed Feelings...have you ever felt this way?

[eyunka]

How do you feel after your dh/df has gratified themselves because (place reason here)?

This week has been very emotional and stressful so coloring was the last thing on my mind. All week he hinted toward it but didn't make a big and seeming understood. So today I felt work early with the intent of . I come through the door and (I paused to giggle...ok sorry) he wakes from the couch saying "HEY, (long pause) I thought you were the kids"

I peak over the couch and he is in his (giggling again) tank top and nothing else.(He is known to sit around the house like that while the kids are at school) I look toward the dvd player and one of our dvds is ejected jokingly I say "Were you was playing with yourself?" He answers "yes because you haven't taken care of me all week".

At this point its still kinda funny. I do a couple things around the house while he is still on the couch, then i change clothes. I come out and give my little hints letting him know come I will take care of you now. He didn't take to the hints. Instead he got up and started to get ready for work.

Now i don't know whether to be hurt or relieved? Bare with me because I'm bipolar and sometimes I have to really find out if what I feel is reality?

part of me tells me I should be relieved he gratified himself instead of finding someone to do it for him.

*Disclaimer* Every marriage is not perfect, we have our hiccups so don't come in here talking about if he was willing to do someone else after a week, something is not right in your marriage....don't need it. I'm stating what my thoughts are, not saying he would actually do it.

the other part feels like he cheated on me with himself...crazy in know.

How would you feel?

 

[MixedBerry]

Well, he was hungry and wanted you to fix his plate. You wouldnt so he got up and fixed himself something to eat.


Are you relieved? If you do feel relieved, its okay. Its your body and your marriage. You know the dynamic you two have.

If sex is an issue and/or you find it painful or dirty, then yes, I could see how being relieved would be a reaction to this.

If I didnt want to fix his plate and later found out he fixed himself something to eat, I would feel relieved. Why? Well, because I didnt want to in the first place and now dont have to. It sounds like you didnt want to.

 

[eyunka]

response in bold

Well, he was hungry and wanted you to fix his plate. You wouldnt so he got up and fixed himself something to eat. This is cute I like it.


Are you relieved? If you do feel relieved, its okay. Its your body and your marriage. You know the dynamic you two have. In the past I would have been but I have good intentions on "fixing his plate"

If sex is an issue and/or you find it painful or dirty, then yes, I could see how being relieved would be a reaction to this.I don't find it dirty, I was just tried dealing with some issues with the kids, our truck, stress in general. I felt bad each time i turned him down.

If I didnt want to fix his plate and later found out he fixed himself something to eat, I would feel relieved. Why? Well, because I didnt want to in the first place and now dont have to. It sounds like you didnt want to.

 

[dlewis]

cute.

If I was horny, I would be upset. If I was horny, I would let him know "Dude you ain't going NO WHERE until you take care of this."

*Disclaimer* Every marriage is not perfect, we have our hiccups so don't come in here talking about if he was willing to do somewhere else after a week something in not right in your marriage....don't need it. I'm stating what my thought are, not saying he would actually do it.

I def understand that.

If I was in that story I would have raped him. Yes, I said rape.

 

[MissYocairis]

It's fine imo. Although, I understand your mixed feelings. But men like to pleasure themselves...even when they are married. I think it's fine and not a reflection on your marriage in any way. I hope you are able to feel better about it. You know that man will be ready for you very, very SOON.

 

[eyunka]

I know this is playing mind games but i really wanted him to come get it, guess i missed out. I will be sure to take it in the morning.

cute.

If I was horny, I would be upset. If I was horny, I would let him know "Dude you ain't going NO WHERE until you take care of this."



I def understand that.

If I was in that story I would have raped him. Yes, I said rape.

 

[dlewis]

I hope you enjoy it.

 

[eyunka]

Why I questioned my feeling is because its not like this is anything new. As you stated man do this. I'm just trying to figure out why my feelings got hurt? Maybe I should say disappointed because he didnt react to my hints. I almost felt like him "fixing his plate" was good enough he didn't need me, does that make sense?

It's fine imo. Although, I understand your mixed feelings. But men like to pleasure themselves...even when they are married. I think it's fine and not a reflection on your marriage in any way. I hope you are able to feel better about it. You know that man will be ready for you very, very SOON.

 

[*CherryPie*]

He DID need you. You just took too long, and he was VERY hungry and desperate, so he fixed his own plate.

Don't feel bad. It's okay. He'll be looking for you again very soon.

Why I questioned my feeling is because its not like this is anything new. As you stated man do this. I'm just trying to figure out why my feelings got hurt? Maybe I should say disappointed because he didnt react to my hints. I almost felt like him "fixing his plate" was good enough he didn't need me, does that make sense?

 

[WhoIAm]

He was probably just taking the edge off. Just because he worked himself out doesn't mean he could not have gone for more. That man is your husband so don't be bashful. Next time be more aggressive, even if you have to sit on...you get my drift. Trust me, he won't turn you down.

 

[diadall]

Its okay. He fixed his plate this time but he knows you fix it better than he does.

 

[~Sparklingflame~]

Why I questioned my feeling is because its not like this is anything new. As you stated man do this. I'm just trying to figure out why my feelings got hurt? Maybe I should say disappointed because he didnt react to my hints. I almost felt like him "fixing his plate" was good enough he didn't need me, does that make sense?

Men dont do hints. You have to be very direct and specific with them.

 

[Bmack]

^^^ This is so true^^^ My DH is the same way- lost lol. I would not feel a way...just get yours later.

 

[kmn1980]

*shrug* Men jaggoff sometimes. Better his hand than some other woman, right?

 

[ThickHair]

Men dont do hints. You have to be very direct and specific with them.

You can't hint, you just should have said, let's do the do honey and more than likely he would have been ready for action.

It has taken me a long time to realize men DO NOT DO HINTS. You have to ask or tell them straight out. My ex use to workout alone all the time and it did not bother me one bit.

 

[Crystalicequeen123]

Well....umm.... I know that physically and biologically-speaking, usually if a man has already fixed himself something to eat he may be a bit "full", so he can't eat anymore....not very well anyway.

I don't know if this makes any sense, but I think there's a "period" where they have to take a BREAK from "eating" (if you know what I mean) in order to "eat" well. Does this make sense. I don't think it had anything to do with you really.

Next time just try not to wait so long to eat with him lol.

 

[dlewis]

Men dont do hints. You have to be very direct and specific with them.

Some men think everythings a hint. Me putting clothes in the washer is just that, nothing more nothing less.