Mistakes made as a natural(for everyone)

[Rapunzel*]

i really dont post as much but i wanted to corporately express the mistakes i made as a natural


When i craved straight hair i didnt have a nice flat(conair only went to 395) with iron or the right technique
i did not have blow dryer with a comb attachment( which made it take over an hour to blow dry)
started getting lazy and doing chunky twist-outs that caused tangles. in the summer
i did not dc with heat
i slept with my hair loose at times(big no no)
i got frustrated and relaxed due to knots
going so far almost apl and giving up after one year natural
getting upset because i could not put my hair in a bun
i was insecure about my little twist but if i blow dried my hair before twisting my twist would have been shoulder length


those are the mistakes i made as a natural. this time i will have a 360 turn around.investing in a hooded dryer and a nice flat iron, so when i want straight hair i will have it and if it reverts i wont be upset that my true length isnt showing they way i want it to. now im currently almost bsl and loving my length. my transition is going by smooth and i have the urge to bc but i wont. i will remain in wigs until the summer, and im taking out my braids as i type



feel free to post the mistakes you made as a natural it doesnt matter if you are currently relaxed, natural, or transitioning

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Public Home > feb 7th 9 months yay… > 3-2-09

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3-2-09

dont mind the fotki url writing
i relaxed my hair just to do a stupid bun





fluffy rollerset



my wet twists werent so bad after all









well ill be natural again but i could have been a bsl natural aah we live and learn

 

[ms.blue]

the mistake I have done is to relaxed my hair after braiding my hair for two years straight w/o knowing my own natural texture. I thought having natural hair was hard and ugly. I really wish I could have stopped myself back then. It took me two years to grow my hair past shoulder length but one year to destroy it Now I know better.

 

[Janet']

Too many wash and go's...Those things (for me) were treacherous!!!

 

[GeorgiaGurl]

^^ IA Janet'.

Wash n go's are not my friend. Tangle city and ssn's.

 

[Lola Laughs]

Somehow I thought that natural meant you could flat iron every other day on 400 degrees with little to no heat protectant. Yeah, I know, real stoo-pid

 

[aprils13]

wash n go's

sleeping on a wng and waking up to a matted mess!!!

 

[aprils13]

Somehow I thought that natural meant you could flat iron every other day on 400 degrees with little to no heat protectant. Yeah, I know, real stoo-pid

Oh yess, how could I forget about that. That was before lhcf. I thought my hair was super strong since I didnt have a relaxer. Its strong but not like that.

 

[ycj1]

My mistake that I regret the most is after bc'ng in Dec 08, Feb 09 could'nt deal with the knots on the ends and applied for 5 min s-curl and rinsed! Huge mistake! Now in braids and no chemical has touched my hair since I am growing all of it out! It takes time but it's getting there! I've learned the hard way, and won't ever do another chemical anything in my hair again! Fingers crossed!

 

[tetbelle]

Coloring my hair and putting highlights was a big mistake for me. I'm still wondering how other naturals do it without getting all the damage.

 

[bluediamond0829]

I think my mistake is mostly now is not being consistent with going to someone because i like to wear my hair straight(pressed)--so with that comes the steam treatments. Yes i would love to do the wash and gos too but I like straight hair dos. I have no patience and need to go back to what i was doing before. For awhile i was just flexi rodding and washing once a week and my hair was growing. I think that since my hair has gotten much thicker and a little more length its harder to flexi rod. And also i need to stay away from the heat of the flat ironing. So im trying to look for alternatives.

I need to stick with and continue going to a person. As much as i love weaves i just feel like my hair doesnt benefit from having them. Im thinking of even tryin half wigs because its going to be costly with me exercising and tryin to keep my hair straight while sweating and working out...

 

[crr0121]

Before LHCF, I did not care bout moisture at all. It was all about how CUTE the hair looked. So WnG's were washin my hair, then putting a ton of gel (that prob had alcohol) in w/ no leave ins. Let it dry all day and it was cute. Then try to comb through that mess the next day, re-wetting it w/ MORE GEL (not water) to put it up in a clip or other style. BREAKAGE CITY....

ETA: also coloring my hair. I colored it once, and it wasn't the right color so i recolored the whole head again like 2 weeks later and did not take care of it at all.

 

[Daughter]

My pitfalls along the way:

1. I simply never thought about moisturising my hair until I discovered hair boards back in 2003. Prior to that it was Dax when I blowdried and twisted my hair and I wondered why my hair was so crunchy at the ends.

2. I used to handle my hair so roughly. Though it takes more time, I now untwist/unbraid/detangle my hair far more gently.

 

[AvaSpeaks]

Not washing my hair in sections! I lost a LOT of hair that way

 

[Daughter]

Not washing my hair in sections! I lost a LOT of hair that way

Oh yes! Since I discovered shampooing in sections, I no longer dread wash-day.

 

[Junebug D]

1. Caring about what e-folks said. I didn't need all that conditioner. Sure, I got enhanced "coil definition" from it but it made shrinkage and tangling and knots WORSE.

2. Relying on twists as a protective style. They aren't really, unless you can actually make a bun with them. After one nearly 2-year period, my front twists stretched all the way to my bottom lip, but the back was barely SL. erplexed Massive breakage back there.

3. Salon press = heat damage.

4. Too many chops.

5. Thinking that natural = healthy; simply on the virtue of being natural alone.

 

[CaliDiamond]

1. Caring about what e-folks said. I didn't need all that conditioner. Sure, I got enhanced "coil definition" from it but it made shrinkage and tangling and knots WORSE.

2. Relying on twists as a protective style. They aren't really, unless you can actually make a bun with them. After one nearly 2-year period, my front twists stretched all the way to my bottom lip, but the back was barely SL. erplexed Massive breakage back there.

3. Salon press = heat damage.

4. Too many chops.

5. Thinking that natural = healthy; simply on the virtue of being natural alone.

I did it all except for the salon press.. And even then I did not have a healthy relationship with conditioners.

 

[PaleoChick]

1. Not shampooing in braids.
2. Not completely rinsing out conditioner.
3. Sleeping on wet hair.
4. Too much products. Now down to a key few. One brand only.
5. No bandwagons is best.
6. My hair is its own type. Typecasting hair is a big mistake. Do what it wants, then walk away. Leave it be.

 

[Triniwegian]

Like previous posters have mentioned; just because your hair is virgin and seems like it can take a punch, you have to be careful.
I thought I could straighten it on high heat without it doing any damage...WRONG.
Just because you're natural doesn't mean your hair can withstand anything, especially dry heat.

 

[Mook's hair]

^^ IA Janet'.

Wash n go's are not my friend. Tangle city and ssn's.

^^^^
I agree Janet & Georgia.

Wash n Go's

 

[DDTexlaxed]

Great thread! My only mistake was lacking patience and relaxing. I would have been BSL or longer if I'd stayed natural when I first BCd.

 

[Rapunzel*]

Great thread! My only mistake was lacking patience and relaxing. I would have been BSL or longer if I'd stayed natural when I first BCd.

me too

 

[determined_to_grow]

I have only been natural for a few days but one mistake I have is relying on what I thought my hair should be like or look like...

 

[finickyone]

Thanks ladies for sharing!

 

[purplepeace79]

When I was a loose natural in between my two sets of locs, I made tons of mistakes

1. I used John Freda's Frizz Ease line. What the hell was I thinking?
2. I blow dried my hair every time I washed it. I knew nothing about curl definition or wearing it in a "Wet" look.
3. I hardly ever used heat protectant and I knew little about proper moisturizing techniques.
4. I didnt give my hair a break between braids.
5. i locked again, despite not wanting to, because I became frustrated with my hair falling out in clumps and breaking horribly. Locks were all I knew how to do well, so I resorted to that. Had I known then what I know now, I could have MBL hair by now.

 

[tkj25]

- being impatient with my "slow-growing" hair
growing long hair takes cqc & time. for me, for full wl, i'm looking at least a 5-6 year committment from a bc (shaved head)
- fighting shrinkage
my hair has about 80% shrinkage. it doesn't show it's full length easily. i don't know if i'll ever be one of those people who fully agree with their hair shrinking so much, lol, but i've learned to embrace & accept what i can't change. i've had to learn instead of getting frustrated with my hair for not showing length, i just needed to grow more hair. eventually my hair will reach a tipping point, when even it's shrunken length will be long. that's going to take a minute, but it will come.
- texturizing/coloring out of frustration/impatience/boredom
the reason for my most recent bc. i wanted to see length, & see it now. i was tired of having over 3 years worth of growth, & i couldn't see or show it. that kind of lackful thinking lead to a not well thought out decision. now when i get frustrated i know to put it up/away, take a break, focus on something else until i'm in a better state. also i'm growing my hair for me, if no one else can tell how long it is, so be it -- i do.
- leaving in braids too long
even a protective style can be overdone. my hair begins to loc up if left in too long. for extentions that means re-doing every two months, but every month for the nape/back of my head otherwise it is hell to pay back there. for my own hair, that's 2 weeks maximum, but i usually re-do every week.
- not detangling thoroughly
especially after wearing braids for 2 months, there's a lot of shed hair to get rid of. i can't skimp on fully detangling or there is a world of hurt come shower time.
- being inconsistent with supplements
when i'm consistent, i see results -- healthier, stronger hair, faster growth -- when i'm not, i don't.
- holding on to shampoo
paradigm shift # 3. i can clean my hair thoroughly with just conditioner. when i finally let go of the thought that i had to use shampoo to have clean hair, it opened up a new world of moisture for my hair. not that my hair doesn't ever get dry, it still does, but i don't have to work nearly as hard to keep it moisturized.
- washing my hair in twists
a no no for my hair. i've tried numerous times in the hopes that it would work -- lol -- always resulting in a head full of matted twists once it dries.
- thinking i had to pay big bucks for quality hair products
ingredients trump price every time. you can find good ingredients at every price level.
grocery store: olive oil & coconut oil, water, veggie glycerin, bananas, yogurt, eggs, baking soda, apple cider vinegar ...
cheapies: aussie moist, tresseme, garnier, suave, trader joe's, yes-to-cucumbers, nature's gate ...
salon quality: aubrey organics, ouidad, joico, bumble & bumble ...
once you find the key ingredients that work for your hair, you can focus on buying products that contain those ingredients. for me it's kelp, algae, hemp, botanical humectants ...
- trying to comb my hair the same as when it was relaxed
paradigm shift # 2, my hands are my best styling tool. i really don't need a comb unless i'm detangling/changing styles. for day-to-day fingers are enough. combing straight from front to back is not happening. i have to divide my hair into sections, moisturize, & then comb. this makes me & my hair happy.
- not wearing protective styles
i basically learned from observing people with locs -- that is the longest natural hair i see irl. my take away from locs is that my hair likes to be left alone, it likes to frizz/clump, & it grows with cqc. protective styles work. they keep single-strand-knots at bay, allow me to retain length, and are relatively easy to maintain. my favs are twists & yarn braids.
- not recognizing that my natural hair is manageable
paradigm shift # 1, for the longest time i though my natural hair wasn't capable of growing long. i was raised to believe that i have that, nappy, rough, stuff that needs a perm/relaxer/chemical. that is the furthest thing from the truth. no one needs a relaxer. a styling option -- yes. a necessity -- that's a whole 'nother delusion. one that i had to unlearn. my hair is the healthiest, & thickest it's ever been & retains length with ease, and allows me to be straight, afro'd, twisted up, or braided -- all from the same head of hair

 

[HauteHippie]

My biggest natural mistake was putting a softener in my hair after 10 months of being natural. I just couldn't understand the whole moisture/protein balance thing and I gave up. All I had to do was go to google!
I also got a big, crusty knot in my hair. I must have napped with it being damp (under tracks), I don't know. But it drove me crazy and I was sleepy so I CUT it. Now I'm walking around looking like Alfalfa.

 

[PearlyCurly]

^^^^
I agree Janet & Georgia.

Wash n Go's

Wash n Gos....they are cute for one day and then terrible the next!

I now only WnG for special occasions, or if im being lazy!

 

[catgurl]

This is a good thread. I am determined to learn from my mistakes as this is my 3rd time natural.

1. Thinking that salons know more about my hair than I do.
2. Impatience in general. And thinking that a texturizer/relaxer would cut down on time needed to take care of my hair.
3. Thinking that using heat protectants meant that I use heat as often as I wanted.
4. Not using a satin cap *ever*.
5. Thinking all products are equal (not finding out what works best for my hair).

 

[coolsista-paris]

my mistakes: i tried flat ironing for the first time: no protectant : BREAKAGE ,and some parts of my hair are shorter now...well....
i wore my afro out lots lots never did protactive styling: if i did i think i would mmaybe be apl by now. i kept finding small hairs all over the floor,couch, in the house! knots!!
when taking out twists, i started form any side (top,bottom of twist) then endeds up with a knot , that i pulled and ended up cutting! just hair breakage for nothing

stupid me

 

[spoogeywoogey]

Going to a salon for a press... biggest mistake EVER. Now I have burnt and broken hairs everywhere. So sticking to doing my hair myself as much as possible.