Military widows, wifes, and girlfriends, deployments

[Choclatcotton]

As the wife of a late military man, I would love a platform to discuss the joys and sorrows of military relationships, victories, defeats, families, deployments, hopes, and dreams.
It has been particularly hard being a younger widow and not being able to relate to the older ones. I still have hopes of a positive wedded life even though mine was cut short. I know of some military wids that were able to get benefits and others like myself who were denied. I got the triangular flag and a square granite as my momento, as my husband didn't serve during war time. so whats your story? if you care to share. Oh and yes I still keep my wedd ticker as a reminder of what could have been.

 

[deltadreamland]

Sending a hug to you. My mother was a young military widow...at 21. My father was in the Army and was killed when she was 5 months pregnant with me. My sister (he died 2 weeks before she turned 2) and I did receive benefits because he went to war and received those benefits until we graduated from college. I pray you have close family and friends surrounding you. (((HUGS)))

Sent from my iPad using LHCF

 

[Oneprettypa]

I'm not a widow but I'm an officer currently serving, that has had to handle the affairs of my Soldier's that have passed away. If there is anything I can do to help please let me know. I'll be praying for you .

 

[Choclatcotton]

Thanks everyone!

 

[prettylady6464]

I'm not a widow but I'm an officer currently serving, that has had to handle the affairs of my Soldier's that have passed away. If there is anything I can do to help please let me know. I'll be praying for you .

Thank you for your service Ma'am!

I'm the widow of a veteran. His death placed me in a crack of society. I have certified veteran status; however, I am blatantly and constantly reminded that I, "...didn't serve..." and therefore don't deserve veteran status and the benefits I get (I'm still waiting for benefits beyond those ENTITLEMENTS I had before he died --he EARNED those!), so I get rudely pushed to the side at job fairs, etc.

Those "benefits"? Now that's the GREAT misconception that exists in the finite minds of those who work so hard to box us military widows out of federal workforce competition Benefits don't actually exist Artificial benefits are some of the bait used to keep service members loyally engaged in the institution of service and warfare before some of them die in service to that institution.

The VA did what they were supposed to do.

The Obama Administration placed Executive Orders in place to help.

Getting the agencies to comply is the fly in the ointment

I don't fit in with spouses anymore...cause...well, I'm no longer a spouse.

This is where over 28 years of supporting him, and moving every three years with him, and helping, mentoring and counseling junior spouses got me: displaced and rejected by the very ones whom he thought would help me survive his death!

Grace be to God Almighty for His unfathomable and indescribable gifts of love, mercy and deliverance! Without God I would be destitute!

I am confident that my husband didn't serve thinking that the country he served for over 28 years would sweep me into a crack in the wake of his death.

I wish peace to all widows!!! Being widowed is a grievous task in itself, but when coupled with rejection from those who are supposed to help you, grief is compounded!

Guess I'll bridle my tongue now before I go too far and tell too much truth

Comfort to all!

 

[Growinpainz]

^ sorry for what you've been through.

 

[kcolbert]

I am not a wife but an active duty enlisted Soldier that was dual military for over 15 years, my husband has since retired. I have recently witnessed the horror of war and sent a very good friend home less than two weeks into our deployment. My heart still hurts for his family. I know understand both sides of the coin, taking care of affairs and being there for the family. I am praying for you and your family.

 

[prettylady6464]

I am not a wife but an active duty enlisted Soldier that was dual military for over 15 years, my husband has since retired. I have recently witnessed the horror of war and sent a very good friend home less than two weeks into our deployment. My heart still hurts for his family. I know understand both sides of the coin, taking care of affairs and being there for the family. I am praying for you and your family.

Thank you for your kind words! Mostly, thank your husband and you for your service! Blessings to your friend’s family!

 

[prettylady6464]

^ sorry for what you've been through.

Thank you for your compassion!

 

[Crackers Phinn]

Didn't know where to put this but this thread seems to fit. I can't tell you what to do but I would appreciate if nobody quotes this.

I received a Conditional Get in the mail today and I am shaken in a way that I haven't been since my mother died. A Get is a Jewish divorce degree. My husband is an IDF reservist who has been in Israel since a week before Hamas pulled their He doesn't know when he can leave Israel but even if there was no military issue he wouldn't leave until there is stability, so he issued me a conditional divorce in case he doesn't make it or is MIA.

I've been terrified since October 7 and now I'm heavy hearted and terrified because divorce papers even if they are conditional are upsetting. He and I talk on the phone as much as he can and he's been "whatevering" the danger of his specific situation but the Get indicates to me that it's more serious than he's let on.

 

[awhyley]

In the midst of all the uncertainty, couples are still marrying and holding out hope. Sounds like your hubby is a planner, but don't be discouraged.

 

[Crackers Phinn]

In the midst of all the uncertainty, couples are still marrying and holding out hope. Sounds like your hubby is a planner, but don't be discouraged.

This is what happens during wartime. Depending on how things go with my husband, my stepson and his fiancé are going to forego their wedding planning for next year and do a quickie wedding in the rabbi's office in case he heads off to Israel.

 

[yamilee21]

@Crackers Phinn , I’m so sorry that you have to deal with this stress, and I sincerely hope that your husband will return safely to you.