Men Who Say "hey Girl, What's Up?"

[L.Brown1114]

I'm on tindr and it seems only the white men do it and I don't like it. Is it just me?

It's like a mix of me thinking "are you secretly gay?" Or "are you saying girl because I'm black and for some odd reason think I'll like it?" I've heard this in real life from white guy friends as well and it irks my nerve every time but they are guys who weren't hitting on me so I never truly analyzed it until now.

Does this happen to you? If so does it annoy you? Or do you think it's a different reason?

 

[King of Sorrow]

I don't use Tindr or other dating apps/site so I haven't come across this. Sounds like it's because you're black, he's heard one too many RnB and rap songs, and thinks that's what we like and are used to from black guys.

That or they took some tips from 90's boy bands. Either way, I couldn't take them seriously. It would be like a real life 2Gether music video.

 

[Bunnyhaslonghair]

I only find “hey girl!/hey boy!” acceptable when it's used by one of us. It's like a black classic. I don't really like it from any other race especially from white men of a certain age. I have corrected people on more than one occasion who call me “girl” like we're familiar. I don't like it and correct them to let them know they don't know me and to respect me as a stranger (if that makes sense). I have never been on tinder but I don't feel like that's an excuse. I still expect a respectful approach.

 

[Silkycoils]

I only like it when it's one of us, and then I prefer "Hey guhl" .

 

[Livingmylifetothefullest]

Calling me "girl" will get you ignored or I'll tell them that's not my name.

 

[mrselle]

I don't like for men to address me that way. Years ago an older, white male co-worker addressed me in that manner. I ignored him.

 

[BEAUTYU2U]

It's because you're black.

 

[Lucie]

I was on the RR last week and a wm in his fifties kept telling his seat mate "Gurl you look good" and gurl... I'm not lyin'! He was nice otherwise but his decibel increase with gurlllll was annoying.

 

[BEAUTYU2U]

I was on the RR last week and a wm in his fifties kept telling his seat mate "Gurl you look good" and gurl... I'm not lyin'! He was nice otherwise but his decibel increase with gurlllll was annoying.

It reminds me of walking into work from the parking lot with this older WW. The closer we got to the building, the more Southern/urban her dialect became.

 

[L.Brown1114]

It's because you're black.

it's equivalent to "Do you like white guys?" If I responded doesn't that give you any indication that i'm interested *eye roll*
or calling me sexy chocolate *deep sigh*

 

[**SaSSy**]

I'm on tindr and it seems only the white men do it and I don't like it. Is it just me?

It's like a mix of me thinking "are you secretly gay?" Or "are you saying girl because I'm black and for some odd reason think I'll like it?" I've heard this in real life from white guy friends as well and it irks my nerve every time but they are guys who weren't hitting on me so I never truly analyzed it until now.

Does this happen to you? If so does it annoy you? Or do you think it's a different reason?

Don't fall for it, they are already generalizing you/stereotyping you based upon you being a BW. If you down with being a black fetish/sexualized object, keep falling for it, or just ignore it.