Maybe Now Isn't the BEST Time, But....

[MrsHdrLe]

When and how often do you discuss finances, credit status, debt, and joint vs. separate accounts in your relationship. I know most people have this talk initially, but if you have, do you broach the subject again every so often.

Being a woman, I know we have a "whole 'nuther" level of expenses that most men couldn't even fathom. How much of this "secret" life do you share with your so/dh/bf?
What if you or he has a "problem" with money management? Do you break up, postpone, or relinquish control?

As you've probably guessed, I need this information, so please help. TIA

 

[naturalmanenyc]

DH and I discuss finances at least once a month (sometimes twice since we are both paid bi-monthly). We also discuss finances whenever we make a major purchase (we just bought a flat screen t.v.).

We discussed finances, credit scores, debt, and how to handle money in general when we first started dating.

At one time I was spending a ridiculous amount of money on my hair, which started prior to marriage. DH never asked about the cost of my hair but I did give him all the details: the cost of the weave, fusion weave install expenses, maintenance expenses and he even went to pick up my bulk hair order a couple of times.

We do not have any financial secrets.

 

[MrsHdrLe]

Once a month. That sounds pretty reasonable. Have you or he ever bought something(s) that the other was unhappy about? Did that cause an argument or "revenge spending"

I'm not quite in this situation yet, but I am independent (but, I tend to get myself into financial troubles and not ask for help until it snow balls) and that's why I want to keep our money separate, but something very expensive has come up and it's a neccessity.

He has not offered to pay (he's in escrow and doesn't want to spend this amount of money right now and I'm not quite sure he realizes just exactly what's going on), but I don't really want to push the issue because I'm not exactly financially right.

So do I bite the bullet and ask anyway, or do I fess up to my financial irresponsibility. He did offer to help me sublet my apt. to move with him and pay no money unitl I get situated. (We lived together before and we're engaged to be married in the spring) so I don't feel like I'm going in the wrong direction, but should I expect him to cough up the money? Some women may think yes, while other may say, my burden, my back.
What do you think?

 

[Sosoothing]

Finances are a complicated issue obviously. The only thing I am sure of is that I think you should fess up to your financial irresponsibility. Especially if you two are planning on getting married, now is not the time to keep such things from each other.

As far as the necessity you say you currently need money for, I say ask him. Im hoping the worst he could do is say no and maybe give you another speech on financial responsibility.

 

[MrsHdrLe]

I really need to hear from you ladies. TIA