Martian Rubberbands??

[DarkAngell]

ever read "men are from mars, women are from venus" ? Im curious to know if you found that book to hold true. Specificaly the "rubberband" effect and if you've ever experienced this and what the outcome was.

I apologize if this has been discussed before but my search feature is not working and im itching to hear someone's opinion on it because im sensing that the guy im seeing is about to "rubberband" away from me. I've been seeing him for 2 months. He's done it once already for about a week. I left him completely alone and went on about my business and he came back around even closer then before. But I think he's about to do it again

*sigh* i hate dating..........

 

[Crystalicequeen123]

ever read "men are from mars, women are from venus" ? Im curious to know if you found that book to hold true. Specificaly the "rubberband" effect and if you've ever experienced this and what the outcome was.

I apologize if this has been discussed before but my search feature is not working and im itching to hear someone's opinion on it because im sensing that the guy im seeing is about to "rubberband" away from me. I've been seeing him for 2 months. He's done it once already for about a week. I left him completely alone and went on about my business and he came back around even closer then before. But I think he's about to do it again

*sigh* i hate dating..........

Yeah, I definitely think the "rubberband" effect is true. What IS it with men?? When you leave them alone, that's when they want to come to you! It's a very weird and sick thing I tell you! LOL!

I even had this experience with a guy friend of mine. Seems like when he knew I was crushing on him hard, that's when he would keep his distance. But when I would keep my distance and not pay him any mind, THAT's when he would be right up under me trying to make sure that I acknowledge HIM.

 

[Crystalicequeen123]

Just also wanted to add, that older women have always told me that you have to give men "a little, and then draw back." Give them a little, and then draw back. Touch them a little, and draw back. Not literally of course, but you know...show them some attention, and then distance. For some reason it KEEPS them interested in you! So there must be SOME truth in it if older women are saying it.

You can't show your hand too often, or too soon! I'm telling you, dating is like playing a game of cards. The one with the best poker face wins!

Of course, I'm not being serious...not entirely at least...

 

[MissYocairis]

Just also wanted to add, that older women have always told me that you have to give men "a little, and then draw back." Give them a little, and then draw back. Touch them a little, and draw back. Not literally of course, but you know...show them some attention, and then distance. For some reason it KEEPS them interested in you! So there must be SOME truth in it if older women are saying it.

You can't show your hand too often, or too soon! I'm telling you, dating is like playing a game of cards. The one with the best poker face wins!

Of course, I'm not being serious...not entirely at least...

All of this is SO TRUE! And, interestingly enough....I don't care HOW HARD he pursues you....how gallant and "knight in shining armour" he is toward winning your heart....the moment you open up enough to GIVE to him to the same degree that he has been giving to you....he will act like he needs some space.... It's the truth! He can BEG YOU FOR YEARS for just a CHANCE to win your heart....but when you give it to him....it's better to figure in a little "draw back", as Crystalicequeen says, to keep him on his toes....else....when he finally wins you and has you right where he always dreamed....he'll want some autonomy and you'll be standing around like, "ERM.... "

 

[DarkAngell]

All of this is SO TRUE! And, interestingly enough....I don't care HOW HARD he pursues you....how gallant and "knight in shining armour" he is toward winning your heart....the moment you open up enough to GIVE to him to the same degree that he has been giving to you....he will act like he needs some space.... It's the truth! He can BEG YOU FOR YEARS for just a CHANCE to win your heart....but when you give it to him....it's better to figure in a little "draw back", as Crystalicequeen says, to keep him on his toes....else....when he finally wins you and has you right where he always dreamed....he'll want some autonomy and you'll be standing around like, "ERM.... "

This is so true because the guy im talkin about has actually been in the pic for 3 yrs now....we were on and off friends only because i was basically just giving him the run around. Now that im getting more serious towards him he needs space??

Last night i tried to play a ALITTLE game. Usually we're both online at night and chat on the computer. This is an everynight thing. But since i noticed him distancing himself the whole day & acting like he couldnt be bothered with me, i decided to sign off at night. i came back on around 2am. He ims me immediately. this is how the convo went:

him: what happened i was surprised not to see you on tonight? u were probably sleeping right?

me: sleeping? no. i stepped out for a bit.

him:. o...... where'd you go???

me: i met up with some friends at a lounge ( lies..i was really sitting on my couch watching tv, eating ice cream, and missing him )

him: oo...u have fun?

me: i sure did.

him: i wish i woulda known i woulda went with you! i wanted to see you!

me: you snooze you lose partner! ( in a joking manner ) why didnt you mention that earlier?

him: cause i thought you were gonna be home .......did you miss me??? ( he really is soo cute lol )

see? he didnt care until he found out and i went and did something and THEN he wants to know if i was missing him??? ( even though i was ). I hate playing these games though!!

 

[cocoberry10]

This is so true because the guy im talkin about has actually been in the pic for 3 yrs now....we were on and off friends only because i was basically just giving him the run around. Now that im getting more serious towards him he needs space??

Last night i tried to play a ALITTLE game. Usually we're both online at night and chat on the computer. This is an everynight thing. But since i noticed him distancing himself the whole day & acting like he couldnt be bothered with me, i decided to sign off at night. i came back on around 2am. He ims me immediately. this is how the convo went:

him: what happened i was surprised not to see you on tonight? u were probably sleeping right?

me: sleeping? no. i stepped out for a bit.

him:. o...... where'd you go???

me: i met up with some friends at a lounge ( lies..i was really sitting on my couch watching tv, eating ice cream, and missing him )

him: oo...u have fun?

me: i sure did.

him: i wish i woulda known i woulda went with you! i wanted to see you!

me: you snooze you lose partner! ( in a joking manner ) why didnt you mention that earlier?

him: cause i thought you were gonna be home .......did you miss me??? ( he really is soo cute lol )

see? he didnt care until he found out and i went and did something and THEN he wants to know if i was missing him??? ( even though i was ). I hate playing these games though!!

I know exactly what you mean about playing games! I am naturally the nicest person, but I’ve had to learn to keep my armor up, b/c these dudes will walk right over you if you don’t! Luckily I haven’t ended up too screwed over by a guy, b/c I’m naturally reserved too, so a lot of them think I’m mean and unapproachable (which works to my advantage, and I didn’t even know it for the longest)

 

[Crystalicequeen123]

This is so true because the guy im talkin about has actually been in the pic for 3 yrs now....we were on and off friends only because i was basically just giving him the run around. Now that im getting more serious towards him he needs space??

Last night i tried to play a ALITTLE game. Usually we're both online at night and chat on the computer. This is an everynight thing. But since i noticed him distancing himself the whole day & acting like he couldnt be bothered with me, i decided to sign off at night. i came back on around 2am. He ims me immediately. this is how the convo went:

him: what happened i was surprised not to see you on tonight? u were probably sleeping right?

me: sleeping? no. i stepped out for a bit.

him:. o...... where'd you go???

me: i met up with some friends at a lounge ( lies..i was really sitting on my couch watching tv, eating ice cream, and missing him )

him: oo...u have fun?

me: i sure did.

him: i wish i woulda known i woulda went with you! i wanted to see you!

me: you snooze you lose partner! ( in a joking manner ) why didnt you mention that earlier?

him: cause i thought you were gonna be home .......did you miss me??? ( he really is soo cute lol )

see? he didnt care until he found out and i went and did something and THEN he wants to know if i was missing him??? ( even though i was ). I hate playing these games though!!

ROTFL!! Haha! Typical!

*shakes head* Men are sooo predictable. Sometimes, part of me wonders if men aren't just little boys in grown up bodies. lol*

This is an on-going thing with my guy friend too. We were never really "dating", but we would hang out, and I am pretty sure that he knew/sensed that I liked him.

Well...one day, I TOO decided to play a little "game". A little..."experiment" if you will. *snicker*

One day, instead of giving him a lot of attention and trying to strike up conversations with him, giving him loads of eye-contact, hanging on to his every word, etc, I just decided to act very nonchalant around him. Haha...you know what happened?? Oh now look...NOW he was coming up to ME, trying to get MY attention, asking ME questions, and was getting a little peeved when I wasn't giving him the usual cheery "hello". Hmmm... It's this constant off/on thing with me and this guy friend of mine. It's almost starting to become too predictable! haha! One day, I was acting particularly distant, and he picked up on it, and then he started getting sheepish and tried to make conversation with me. I almost had to hold back from laughing...I almost couldn't contain it! Men are so predictable!

I'm telling you, I don't know what it is about the male species, but you HAVE to keep them guessing just a little bit. Even if you're not even dating the guy! You can't be too accomodating or too "nice", or else guys WILL walk all over you. That's why I like Sherry Argov's book "WMLB". Ladies, that book is sooo on point. It has changed the way I view guys and dating in general.

If dating is all a big "game", then I say it's time we start playing along! lol*