Married Ladies - How and when did you know DH was "the One"?

[Glib Gurl]

Don't get too excited . . . I'm just asking

What was it about DH and your relationship that made you say, "Yes, I can be with this man for the rest of my life?"

What factors did you weigh? How did you weigh intangibles (personality, character, your feelings for each other, etc.) against tangibles (income/earning potential, looks, demographic differences, etc.)

(Note that you don't necessarily have to believe in "soul mates" or even the notion that there's only "One" to participate . . . so the question isn't necessarily when did you find "the One" but rather when/how did you decide that your dh was the one for you?)

 

[Glib Gurl]

Oh come on . . . 22 folks have peeked in here . . . I'm BUMPING

 

[phynestone]

I'm not married, but I'd like to know as well.

 

[itismehmmkay]

I don't believe in soulmates so much. And I don't remember the exact moment, but I do remember thinking "We could build something together".

 

[mscocoface]

I know this sounds weird, but he mopped my kitchen floor!

He was here visiting and after I cleaned the kitchen he went in there and without asking where all the cleaning supplies where or if he could he mopped my kitchen floor!

The other thing that he did during this same trip, he saw I was having a difficult time and was sitting at my dining room table looking totally defeated. He came over to me and said, "You take care of all these people, who takes care of you"?!

I bawled like a baby!

These are simple things and may not mean anything to anyone, but they were a bullseye straight to my heart.

 

[MrsHdrLe]

Long Story:
We dated a LOOONNGGG time casually at first. I was raising my son and he had a son from a previous marriage. We only saw each other only when I had a sitter (so every couple weeks and sometimes every couple months). Well, four years went by like this and I realized that I didn't know this man anymore then than I did when we met. I broke up with him and he came back for me (within the week). He said that he wanted to take our relationship to the next level and that was the year I met everyone important to him. We began to share our lives and families with each other and things were progressing. I later found out that he'd sought counsel from his SIL and Sister on the matter. She'd told me that he'd NEVER called her before, but was really heart-broken over our break up and asked her what he should do.

When I realized that he was serious about me ( and by that time we'd been co-habitating for a year) I knew we could make it. Now it took him an additional year and a half to pop the question and we married almost a year later, (total time invested 9 years), but I'm happy that I prioritized my son during those first few years. Once my son and his son were grown/teens, we knew it was our time and things progressed rather quickly from there.

The point is I knew he was the one when we were able to overcome time, a break up, a relocation, we didn't argue or fight (we discussed), he never cussed me or was cruel/abusive, and I still enjoied his company and liked him. That took time to realize and worked for me. I wouldn't advise it for anyone else esp. if you're on a clock.

 

[dlewis]

I would say maybe 6-7 years into our marriage.

 

[dlewis]

I know this sounds weird, but he moped my kitchen floor!

He was here visiting and after I cleaned the kitchen he went in there and without asking where all the cleaning supplies where or if he could he moped my kitchen floor!

The other thing that he did during this same trip, he saw I was having a difficult time and was sitting at my dining room table looking totally defeated. He came over to me and said, "You take care of all these people, who takes care of you"?!

I bawled like a baby!

These are simple things and may not mean anything to anyone, but they were a bullseye straight to my heart.

Now, that's sweet.

 

[itismehmmkay]

I would say maybe 6-7 years into our marriage.

Mine is delayed too. We'll see...


Recently he did something real small that had me lookin at him...
I was wiping the wooden cutting board and felt something on my finger and looked at it. I didn't say ouch, didn't jump, or nothing, but this negro like rushed all behind me and examined my finger all hard.

Real small, but I liked knowing that he's watching me like that.

 

[Glib Gurl]

 

[Rastafarai]

I know this sounds weird, but he mopped my kitchen floor!

He was here visiting and after I cleaned the kitchen he went in there and without asking where all the cleaning supplies where or if he could he mopped my kitchen floor!

The other thing that he did during this same trip, he saw I was having a difficult time and was sitting at my dining room table looking totally defeated. He came over to me and said, "You take care of all these people, who takes care of you"?!

I bawled like a baby!

These are simple things and may not mean anything to anyone, but they were a bullseye straight to my heart.

I. LOVE. THIS. Thanks soo much for sharing.

 

[Choclatcotton]

When I met his family and saw they were just like mine
When I realized, the feature i am most self conscious about, drives him crazy
when he When he expressed his dependence on GOD and me
When I saw that money was no object to him in order to please me.

 

[French Rouge]

This is going to sound corny, but the first day I met him I knew we'd be together forever. We were 17 so forever, had quite a few bumps in the road (we both had to mature). It was something about his face, I've always felt like I knew him before.

 

[LoveisYou]

aww Ms cocoface I teared up at your story, just beautiful

 

[awhyley]

I would say maybe 6-7 years into our marriage.

*jawdrop* Er, what? That was kind of risky, no?
(i.e. not knowing/feeling that he was one before you married him)

 

[dlewis]

I wasn't raised in a family that honors marriage. So my view at the time was He's ok for now.