Marriage 101

[Soul♥Flower]

Hey yall!

I just got engaged on NYE and I'm excited and all but I've got to be honest, I don't know what the heyll I'm doing! lol I have so many questions about what we should know before the wedding, marriage, kids, our first home, ect..

Now, I'm not silly enough to think that we just get married and that's it, life if peachy now...but I am starting to wish I were because I'm beginning to feel a little overwhelmed with everything that needs to be done. So any advice from the married ladies on the board would be greatly appreciated.

 

[ThickHair]

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[MD_Lady]

Congratulations to you Soul Flower!!!

Hey yall!

I just got engaged on NYE and I'm excited and all but I've got to be honest, I don't know what the heyll I'm doing! lol I have so many questions about what we should know before the wedding, marriage, kids, our first home, ect..

Now, I'm not silly enough to think that we just get married and that's it, life if peachy now...but I am starting to wish I were because I'm beginning to feel a little overwhelmed with everything that needs to be done. So any advice from the married ladies on the board would be greatly appreciated.

Shoot, this in and of itself puts you ahead of a whoooooooooooooooooooooole lot of folks. Realistic expectations will be one of your best allies as you two build your lives together.

 

[Fab_Nikki]

As far as the wedding planning goes. I strongly suggest you making the day about what you and your FH want. If you have a wedding party make sure they are people that love and support your union. Don't have EVERYONE in your wedding because you heard so and so had 14 bridesmaids, 14 groomsment, 4 junior bridesmaids.....you get my jist. Make your day about the two of you.

Don't stress over things you can't get for the wedding. My mom was adamant that she was NOT paying for chair covers, because the chairs were fine. I was fuming mad for a few day. On the day of our wedding I walked in our venue and thought "OMG the chair covers would've totally taken away from everything". Just because others had it doesn't mean you MUST have it. But that's just from my experience.

Remember that your wedding day is just ONE DAY but your marriage is for a lifetime. So, you and your FH need not piss each other off so bad that you're scrawling at each other on your wedding day. LOL I've seen it happen where brides are sooo stuck on having STUFF go wrong, they don't even enjoy their wedding day.

IN YOUR MARRIAGE: Don't stress yourself with being the perfect wife, its not going to happen. Just continue to possess all the qualities that your FH saw in you from the start. Of course you always want to work on being a better you but don't try to be something your not.

If you really want some amazing advice, ideas etc join Chocolate Chat - Powered by vBulletin You can thank me later.

C O N G R A T U L A T I O N S!!!!

 

[200AndOne]

Congratulations Soul Flower!!

The advice that I always give people is to choose your battles.

 

[Soul♥Flower]

Congratulations to you Soul Flower!!!

Shoot, this in and of itself puts you ahead of a whoooooooooooooooooooooole lot of folks. Realistic expectations will be one of your best allies as you two build your lives together.

Thanks girl! Hey, I never thought I'd be saying it lol...I was all over that "Calling in the One" thread a while back.
but seriously, I’m sure everyone can benefit from whatever advice gets posted here when their time comes.

As far as the wedding planning goes. I strongly suggest you making the day about what you and your FH want. If you have a wedding party make sure they are people that love and support your union. Don't have EVERYONE in your wedding because you heard so and so had 14 bridesmaids, 14 groomsment, 4 junior bridesmaids.....you get my jist. Make your day about the two of you.

Don't stress over things you can't get for the wedding. My mom was adamant that she was NOT paying for chair covers, because the chairs were fine. I was fuming mad for a few day. On the day of our wedding I walked in our venue and thought "OMG the chair covers would've totally taken away from everything". Just because others had it doesn't mean you MUST have it. But that's just from my experience.

Remember that your wedding day is just ONE DAY but your marriage is for a lifetime. So, you and your FH need not piss each other off so bad that you're scrawling at each other on your wedding day. LOL I've seen it happen where brides are sooo stuck on having STUFF go wrong, they don't even enjoy their wedding day.

IN YOUR MARRIAGE: Don't stress yourself with being the perfect wife, its not going to happen. Just continue to possess all the qualities that your FH saw in you from the start. Of course you always want to work on being a better you but don't try to be something your not.

If you really want some amazing advice, ideas etc join Chocolate Chat - Powered by vBulletin You can thank me later.

C O N G R A T U L A T I O N S!!!!

Thank you!!!

Thanks for the advice, FabNikki going to check out Chocolate chat.

 

[BabyImaStarr]

Congrats girlie!!

 

[Fab_Nikki]

Thanks girl! Hey, I never thought I'd be saying it lol...I was all over that "Calling in the One" thread a while back.
but seriously, I’m sure everyone can benefit from whatever advice gets posted here when their time comes.



Thank you!!!

Thanks for the advice, FabNikki going to check out Chocolate chat.

The fabulous site is actually Chocolate Brides but I just posted a link to the forum

 

[F8THINHIM]

Congratulations, Soul Flower!!!

 

[Soul♥Flower]

Aww thanks yall!

FabNikki I do have one question...was your DH involved in the wedding planning process at all? We could have the wedding on the back of a turnip truck as far as FH is concerned. I'm wondering wether it's normal and I should let it go or if I should start utilizing a bit of gentle guidance (a.k.a pulling teeth).

 

[Highly Favored8]

Congratulations.

 

[phynestone]

Congrats on the engagement.

 

[topnotch1010]

I agree with the others:

1. Choose your battles
2. Be realistic
3. Keep your business to yourself
4. Keep separate bank accounts (the top two reasons couples divorce are money and sex)
5. Keep the passion alive


Congrats girlie!!

 

[Fab_Nikki]

Aww thanks yall!

FabNikki I do have one question...was your DH involved in the wedding planning process at all? We could have the wedding on the back of a turnip truck as far as FH is concerned. I'm wondering wether it's normal and I should let it go or if I should start utilizing a bit of gentle guidance (a.k.a pulling teeth).

Honey don't fret if he isn't into the "planning" phase. He just wants to marry you! lol

Yes hubby was very involved in wedding planning but not to the point of ticking me off. LOL He went to the venue with me, every appointment with our coordinator, every vendor. He was awesome! If you FH is anything like mine, he'll love it if you love it. LOL It is also very normal for the man to go totally along with what you want. It can go either way. OR he could be the type that has specific things he really cares about. My DH was sooo gungho about him picking their tuxes. I was like cool, just as long as.... Then I stepped back and said to myself "He knows our wedding colors and he can dress". I left it alone. That man looked DELISH but of course he took me in to see it before-hand. LOL

 

[MD_Lady]

I agree with the others:

1. Choose your battles
2. Be realistic
3. Keep your business to yourself
4. Keep separate bank accounts (the top two reasons couples divorce are money and sex)
5. Keep the passion alive


Congrats girlie!!

YES, YES, a THOUSAND times... YES!!! I agree with the entire post, but the bolded, IMO, is a VERY important piece of advice that people don't receive nearly often enough.

 

[lala]

I'd 1st recommend that you determine the length of your engagement. Next get marriage counseling before you make any financial or legal commitments.

If the counseling progresses smoothly, then establish a budget for your wedding and be sure that you can afford to pay for EVERYTHING in full prior to your wedding date. Going into a marriage with wedding debt is not a good thing IMO.

 

[CarolinaGal]

Congratulations!