Male-on-Male Hate ... or Friendly Warning?? (LONG)

QueenHav

QueenHav

New Member
I was trying to be friends with one of my male neighbors; TR. TR has 3 kids and lives with the baby mama. So I keep on telling him that – 1. I am not interested in dating him WHATSOEVER and 2. We can be friends or nothing at all. So he’ll be cool with it one week and then the next week, he’ll be all up in my face again. He's never touched me but he's pretty lewd at times. We've had to dead texting all together - He was just that bad. :nono::nono:



One day, he rode with me to the gas station and we ran into a friend of his, Patrick. He’s cute but not my usual type – 6’1, dark skinned, slim, JAMAICAN w/ locs. Patrick and I exchange numbers and have been dating for about 4 weeks.



About a week and a half ago, TR wanted to come over and chill and me and my dumb behind thought ‘Oh. Since TR and Patrick are friends, we can all chill together’. BIG MISTAKE. Dude comes to the door, sees Patrick in there and leaves with a dust behind him – I mean he didn’t even speak to me! (I was confused by this because he knew Patrick was there when he called)

So, yesterday TR calls me and tells me that ‘its real effed up that you don’t want to talk to me but you’ll talk to Patrick. He’s in the same situation as me except he doesn’t have kids. He has a girlfriend and he lives with her’. (I've been to his house - he has 3 roommates, 1 girl and 2 guys)



Later on last night, I spoke to Patrick and he VEHEMENTLY denies this. He seemed pretty upset (but it could have been a front). I called TR and asked him to give me some more info (girl's name, how long have they been together, etc) and he says that he isn't sure that he has a girlfriend, it could be the roommate's girlfriend and he told me that because he was pissed because he couldn't 'GET THAT'. :blush:


The question is: Is TR hating or is Patrick guilty of the 'birds-of-a-feather' phenomenon??
 
TR is hating. Hard.

If Patrick brought you to his house, and you met all of his roommates - I think you would know, straight off, if he was dating the female roommate.

I suspect TR tried to get up in the female roomies draws, too, and thus he is salty about Patrick's perceived access to yours.
 
TR is dead wrong for trying to go around chasing chicks with kids and a BM at home. Geez.

I think TR is just hating and unhappy in his situation, and is thus trying to throw salt on Patricks game.
 
Yeah, TR is definitely looking for a way out of his situation. He isn't man enough (plus, his credit is bad) to move out and move on. Apparently, he's found some doctor chick that he's ready to shack up with. Any fool that will take him can have him!:nono:
 
This may be off topic but your way to fly for any of these dudes..you look like the should be spoliled by the mall out type of girl.These dudes don't sound like they are on your level at all..
 
Why are you chilling with dudes at home, theirs or yours?

I don't see a problem with having guys as friends, but you when you start chilling at each other's house cozy or not, some wires may get crossed on either side and feelings get hurt intentional or not. Chill at Starbucks, chill at Dave and Busters but please stop chilling at home.

My opinion my be due to the fact that I am 38. I don't know your age, but chilling with dudes at either's home is never an option for ME.
 
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I agree that you can do better. It sounds like a situation that can get messier. Leave them both alone.
 
TR is hating. You should leave him alone completely, cause it will only get worse.

Just one question to the OP, Why did you try to befriend TR in the 1st place?
 
Girl, upgrade. Why do you need a guy with two roommates? You don't. And, you and TR will not be able to be friends. He wants in your pants and is disrespecting his BM royally. Let him wallow alone in his misery.

Patrick though...what's he got going for him? Anything promising? Is he in school?
 
Smuckie_Slick said:
Girl, upgrade. Why do you need a guy with two roommates? You don't. And, you and TR will not be able to be friends. He wants in your pants and is disrespecting his BM royally. Let him wallow alone in his misery.

Patrick though...what's he got going for him? Anything promising? Is he in school?
Click to expand...

The fact that he and TR are even friends would be an issue for me.
 
Perhaps this situation is more complicated than you let on but it really sounds like you should completely cut TR loose. I would also have to ask you why you wanted to befriend a male neighbor that lives with his bm and kids and who you know wants to get with you? Thats a volatile and shady scenario.

And what is Patircks situation? If he's in school or has clear goals about getting his own place then he sounds acceptable. But beware...men and women were not created to just live in the same household so there may be some history there with the female roomate.

I wish you the best in figuring out the right path to this situation chica.
 
PiscesBlue10 said:
Just one question to the OP, Why did you try to befriend TR in the 1st place?
Click to expand...

I was outside this summer and bought all of the kids around ice cream. He came out of the house to thank me for buying treats for the kids. He seemed cool for about 1 month and then he started showing his :massmoon:

Smuckie_Slick said:
Girl, upgrade. Why do you need a guy with two roommates? You don't. And, you and TR will not be able to be friends. He wants in your pants and is disrespecting his BM royally. Let him wallow alone in his misery.

Patrick though...what's he got going for him? Anything promising? Is he in school?
Click to expand...

Most of the guys I've dated have had roommates. :ohwell: I've never had a problem with it, per se. I just make sure to spend time at my house without the extra interference.

He's in school right now (undergrad). He breeds dogs and has been paying for school out of pocket.

CoilyFields said:
Perhaps this situation is more complicated than you let on but it really sounds like you should completely cut TR loose. I would also have to ask you why you wanted to befriend a male neighbor that lives with his bm and kids and who you know wants to get with you? Thats a volatile and shady scenario.

And what is Patircks situation? If he's in school or has clear goals about getting his own place then he sounds acceptable. But beware...men and women were not created to just live in the same household so there may be some history there with the female roomate.

I wish you the best in figuring out the right path to this situation chica.
Click to expand...

Patrick just signed the lease on a new place...but he'll still have a roommate (just one though). Thanks for the tip, CoilyFields.

ThickHair said:
Why are you chilling with dudes at home, theirs or yours?

I don't see a problem with having guys as friends, but you when you start chilling at each other's house cozy or not, some wires may get crossed on either side and feelings get hurt intentional or not. Chill at Starbucks, chill at Dave and Busters but please stop chilling at home.

My opinion my be due to the fact that I am 38. I don't know your age, but chilling with dudes at either's home is never an option for ME.
Click to expand...

For TR, it was just proximity - he stays across the street. For Patrick, we go out and bowl or go to the movies. And once a week, I'll invite him over for dinner. My hectic schedule (1 full time job with 3 part time gigs) doesn't leave me much down time.
 
Filmatic said:
I agree that you can do better. It sounds like a situation that can get messier. Leave them both alone.
Click to expand...


I think this will be my final outcome. It sucks that I didn't even get to know Patrick that well before this ish popped off. :sad:

Thanks for your input, ladies!

Oh well, off to recruit a new squad....
 
TR--is sooo hating--but roommates--idk--u have your own spot--y shouldnt your boo---

maybe you can be friends---versus pursuing something more until you fully know whats his situation...

Team new squad diva--or team new recruits
 
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