Low Hair Self Esteem

ajoyfuljoy

ajoyfuljoy

Well-Known Member
I'm noticing something on the board where a lot of the women here are always downing their hair: what it looks like, what its length is, etc. It is kind of like hair low self esteem to me.

Trust me, I do the same sometimes :lachen:

But I wonder if we have a mental tendency to compare ourselves to our dream head of hair...and that in turn always makes us feel that we come up short? :ohwell:

That isn't healthy to do. We have to appreciate our hair, whatever stage it is in and just take things one day (or inch) at a time. It is easier said then done but worth the try IMO.
 
ajoyfuljoy said:
I'm noticing something on the board where a lot of the women here are always downing their hair: what it looks like, what its length is, etc. It is kind of like hair low self esteem to me.

Trust me, I do the same sometimes :lachen:

But I wonder if we have a mental tendency to compare ourselves to our dream head of hair...and that in turn always makes us feel that we come up short? :ohwell:

That isn't healthy to do. We have to appreciate our hair, whatever stage it is in and just take things one day (or inch) at a time. It is easier said then done but worth the try IMO.
Click to expand...
I agree, its that hair alopecia!

ETA :rofl: ya'll know I meant anorexia bahahhaha
 
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I totally agree. I'm 4 months post relaxer and my hair is harder to deal with. I've been feeling down in the dumps. Cause I keep remembering when my hair was flowing and I could get a comb through it. :eek:( Thank you for starting this thread. I'm going to take it one day/inch at a time.
 
*stands up*

My name is Neith and I have hair anorexia!

It's just how people can be. It's not always low self esteem... most of the time I think my hair is cute :)

but it's just like wanting a smoking hot perfect body... sometimes you can feel that it doesn't quite measure up!

Taking pics of my hair really helped me :yep: I was actually nervous about sharing my pics here when I first put them up... now I'm not and I see my hair the way other people do...

Most of the time! :grin:
 
I agree! I see hair that people compare to other people and say, all a person has to do is PS it up or trim it or whatever. I do think we have to accept our hair for what it is. I don't have the answers, nor am I happy with my hair all the time. I have always said, instaid of looking at other women's hair and comparing, I really want hair that is perfectly fit for MEEEEEEE! I don't care to have the longest hair in the room, I want something that looks good on me!
 
I know for a fact that I have hair-anorexia. I let my hair down for the first time in public last sunday and I tell ya!!! I was so self concious... I personally didnt think it was that long but all my friends were in shock. LOL as soon at the mass ended, everyone was in my hair. people came out of nowhere touching my scalp without permission... and the haters were just straight out staring with no words. I was like "this is the last time yall gonn see my hair down". Next time, I know it will be longer but I have issues so I will still be self concious.
 
I'm guilty of this too. I airdried my hair this weekend and now it feels so brittle and dry. Plus I have areas that are broken off which makes my hair look thinner. I always compare my hair to other people and its not healthy.
 
Thanks for the reminder. I am one of those that constantly go through this to the point where sometimes I refuse to be seen in public. There are ppl who make a big deal out of hair and I sometimes feel I don't measure up...pun intended

For a long time I refused to let my husband see my real hair, I always had some type of weave. But in return I suffered huge losses, not knowing how to care for it underneath the masking.

I will start focusing on embracing every stage I'm in....unless it starts falling out again.

Good post....
 
I certainly do this. I'm going through it right now.

On the flip side, I'm also guilty of almost breaking my neck throwing my hair around when I feel good about it. :rolleyes:

Guess its hair karma...
 
Every time I look at my hair in the present, I say I wish it was thick as it was in October..however even in October I used to get sad and wish it was thicker. I've accepted the fact that I complain continously about my hair( especially now about the length since I didn't make BSL in July). So I complain about thickness now, and then 10 years in the future wish that my hair was as thick as it was right now.
 
you're right.. i was doing that the other day because school is starting in a couple of weeks and not many people have seen me with my short hair.. then i started thinking about getting weave after I take these kinky twists out but now I'm going to wear my TWA with pride! I need to embrace every step and be glad that I have any hair at all!
 
I'm a newbie to the board, and I agree that we should embrace our hair at whatever stage its in. I can only say that in hindsight, because in Dec. 2005 when my overbleached blonde hair was paper thin and shedding in the sink, I was going crazy and probably driving everyone else around me crazy talking about it.

It has been a long journey where I have learned to take care of my hair, nourish it, trim the dead split ends and nurse it back to health. I think I'd be considered APL now, and I'm hoping for BSL, but I'm proud to be able to wear my own hair in a healthy ponytail RIGHT now. I refuse to obsess over the next goal and not enjoy the hair that I currently have. In hindsight, I should have enjoyed the cute neck length bobs I had until it grew out rather than loathe them. Life is too short to be that hard on ourselves, and even if the Lord gives you a healthy patch to work with, we should be grateful and trust Him that he will allow us to reach our goals.
 
hillytmj said:
I'm a newbie to the board, and I agree that we should embrace our hair at whatever stage its in. I can only say that in hindsight, because in Dec. 2005 when my overbleached blonde hair was paper thin and shedding in the sink, I was going crazy and probably driving everyone else around me crazy talking about it.

It has been a long journey where I have learned to take care of my hair, nourish it, trim the dead split ends and nurse it back to health. I think I'd be considered APL now, and I'm hoping for BSL, but I'm proud to be able to wear my own hair in a healthy ponytail RIGHT now. I refuse to obsess over the next goal and not enjoy the hair that I currently have. In hindsight, I should have enjoyed the cute neck length bobs I had until it grew out rather than loathe them. Life is too short to be that hard on ourselves, and even if the Lord gives you a healthy patch to work with, we should be grateful and trust Him that he will allow us to reach our goals.[/quote]
I so agree!:yep:
Click to expand...
 
cluelessaka said:
I totally agree. I'm 4 months post relaxer and my hair is harder to deal with. I've been feeling down in the dumps. Cause I keep remembering when my hair was flowing and I could get a comb through it. :eek:( Thank you for starting this thread. I'm going to take it one day/inch at a time.
Click to expand...

You are welcome. I stopped stretching so long b/c wearing my hair up constantly makes me start to dislike it. I've been wearing braidouts for the last week, showing my hair some love and I am so happy with my hair. I think I'm starting to prefer air dried braidouts to rollersets! One day my hair will be super long but right now it's b/t SL and APL and I'm happy with that.

Neith said:
*stands up*

My name is Neith and I have hair anorexia!

It's just how people can be. It's not always low self esteem... most of the time I think my hair is cute :)

but it's just like wanting a smoking hot perfect body... sometimes you can feel that it doesn't quite measure up!

Taking pics of my hair really helped me :yep: I was actually nervous about sharing my pics here when I first put them up... now I'm not and I see my hair the way other people do...

Most of the time! :grin:
Click to expand...

Yeah, evertime I see your pics, the thought comes to mind that your hair is so beautiful :yep:

Irresistible said:
its early plus not much sleep.....lawd lmao
Click to expand...

I didn't know what you meant. I was like alopecia? lol!

bellebebe said:
I know for a fact that I have hair-anorexia. I let my hair down for the first time in public last sunday and I tell ya!!! I was so self concious... I personally didnt think it was that long but all my friends were in shock. LOL as soon at the mass ended, everyone was in my hair. people came out of nowhere touching my scalp without permission... and the haters were just straight out staring with no words. I was like "this is the last time yall gonn see my hair down". Next time, I know it will be longer but I have issues so I will still be self concious.
Click to expand...


I'm sure it's prettier than you even know. Don't be afraid to show the world your great progress!
 
Oneya said:
Every time I look at my hair in the present, I say I wish it was thick as it was in October..however even in October I used to get sad and wish it was thicker. I've accepted the fact that I complain continously about my hair( especially now about the length since I didn't make BSL in July). So I complain about thickness now, and then 10 years in the future wish that my hair was as thick as it was right now.
Click to expand...

Girl, your hair is beautiful! I caught your siggy for the first time yesterday and I wow she has some nice hair:yep:
 
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