Love in the African diaspora

[Maracujá]

I really love intercultural relationships, especially within the African diaspora, so I thought I'd start this thread.

Are you dating/married to a black man from a different cultural background? Share your story here:

Where did you two meet?

How long have y'all been dating/married?

Is it hard being from two different cultures?

If you have or plan to have children, how do you intend on raising them?

 

[RarityFluttershy]

Hopefully I Will Be Able To Add Too This Thread In The Near Future.
(G-D Willing)

 

[Lucie]

My love is from Nigeria. We met at a wake initially but about 3 days later got to talking at his sister's house.

I am Haitian and am very involved in Haitian culture. He is a very proud Nigerian man totally into his family and culture as well.

When we have children we will raise them as Haitian-Nigerians. We plan on having them spend as much time as they can in Haiti and Nigeria. I am currently learning Igbo and am immersing myself in all things Nigeria. I am the sort of woman that doesn't like anyone translating for me.................... for long. So, currently I can name body parts, say kind things to him and ask a person how they are doing.

I don't think he and I being from 2 different cultures is difficult. Actually, many Haitian slaves came from West Africa (particularly Nigeria) so while the language is different many, many things are similar.

A while back all I wanted to be is with a Haitian man but love is love. I am so blessed that he already knows quite a bit about Haiti and can say a few phrases already.

 

[FlowerHair]

Are you dating/married to a black man from a different cultural background?
Yes, my SO is from California. Half black/half white, but identifies as black.

Where did you two meet?
Here in Sweden, on my way home from work...

How long have y'all been dating/married?
We've known each other 6 years, but broke up along the way.

Is it hard being from two different cultures?
No, not at all...that's never been our problem. The American culture is kind of similar to the Swedish culture in many ways. We are both used to people from different cultures as he has lived in Europe for 20+ years and we are both raised bi-culturally/racially. I think we would have a problem dating someone who is mono-cultural... All of our friends are bi- or tricultural as well.

If you have or plan to have children, how do you intend on raising them?
We will speak our own mother tongue with the child so that he can learn both Swedish and English fluently, and since we have similar views on what we expect from a child I doubt our parenting style will be less similar than if we were from the same culture. He says he will be the "disciplinarian", but I think it will be me. He's a softie...

The children will go to a bilingual school so that they can learn both Swedish and English at the same time. We plan on giving the children double citizenship.

I will teach the children about Kenya as well.

I have no doubt that our children will feel comfortable in their skin since I grew up here with a foreign dad too...I know what it's like.

It's important to us that they feel an equally good connection with all of their diverse backgrounds.

 

[PositivelyBeautiful]

My SO is Ghanaian and I'm of black Caribbean descent but born in Britain. He's been in the UK for 12 years.


Where did you two meet? On Eharmony

How long have y'all been dating/married? Dating for a few months but it's going really well!

Is it hard being from two different cultures? Yes and no - there are elements of our cultures that are similar - certain foods, an emphasis on education (at least in my family) but there are also some things that we clash on. He's very proud of his heritage and so am I so sometimes it's hard to come to a compromise. For instance he wants his future children to have traditional Ga names so that they remember their heritage - I want to give my children names I like and which are less 'ethnic'. I've been to Ghana a few times and stayed for months at a time with Ghanaian people so I know Ghanaian culture well and I can speak two of the languages to a basic level. Apart from that we share similar goals, humour etc so it's not a huge problem. In fact I have much more in common with him than my past boyfriends who were British born Caribbeans.

If you have or plan to have children, how do you intend on raising them?In both cultures, they'll eat food from both places, speak English and Ga and visit both places. I intend on moving to Ghana though so I have a feeling they'll be more Ghanaian than Caribbean. But then again I wasn't born in the Caribbean, have visited once and my family comes from three different parts of the Caribbean so there aren't many cultural things I'd be insistent on. I'm tri-cultural so I don't foresee too much of a problem.

 

[jareya]

My love is from Nigeria. We met at a wake initially but about 3 days later got to talking at his sister's house.

I am Haitian and am very involved in Haitian culture. He is a very proud Nigerian man totally into his family and culture as well.

When we have children we will raise them as Haitian-Nigerians. We plan on having them spend as much time as they can in Haiti and Nigeria. I am currently learning Igbo and am immersing myself in all things Nigeria. I am the sort of woman that doesn't like anyone translating for me.................... for long. So, currently I can name body parts, say kind things to him and ask a person how they are doing.

I don't think he and I being from 2 different cultures is difficult. Actually, many Haitian slaves came from West Africa (particularly Nigeria) so while the language is different many, many things are similar.

A while back all I wanted to be is with a Haitian man but love is love. I am so blessed that he already knows quite a bit about Haiti and can say a few phrases already.

Kedu nwanne m? Lucie, like your love, I am Igbo and proud! It's really cool that you are learning a lot about each other's cultures and will be able to pass on such a rich cultural heritage from both Haiti and Nigeria to your children.

OP, great idea for a thread! I have nothing to contribute right now but hopefully someday....

 

[NaturalPath]

I really love intercultural relationships, especially within the African diaspora, so I thought I'd start this thread.

Are you dating/married to a black man from a different cultural background? Share your story here: Yep a Nigerian (igbo) man whose parents originally came from Nigeria; my SO was born and raised in the USA.

Where did you two meet? We initially met in high school and became friends. He wanted a relationship with me but I wasnt so sure if I wanted to be with him. We both ended up going to the same college (although I was a year ahead of him).

How long have y'all been dating/married? It will be 5 years on Sept 21

Is it hard being from two different cultures? Other than gaining his parents acceptance which is the only difficult part of our relationship; our relationship is wonderful and he is very driven, hardworking and has a lot of family oriented values that I would love to have instilled in our future children. I could never see my self being with anyone else as he respects me and supports me in all aspects of my life. He is my first and hopefully my last Issues may arise once we take that further step into being married one day, but for now its not too hard.

**I've noticed that Nigerian men have a negative reputation, but there are both good and bad men in every culture.

If you have or plan to have children, how do you intend on raising them? I believe that it is important for our future children to know about their history. My SO and I do not know much about the Nigerian culture but I hope that it is something we can both learn about together. I am hoping that someday in the future when his mom accepts me she will be willing to educate me or at least teach me how to make proper jollof rice .

Answers are in bolded

 

[Iammoney]

bumping bumping bumping

 

[CurlyMoo]

This thread should have more responses and intercultural relationships should be encouraged moreso than interracial IMO.

 

[tocktick]

This thread should have more responses and intercultural relationships should be encouraged moreso than interracial IMO.

I'm not too surprised there haven't been more responses. I've read multiple times people state their preference for not wanting to date black men outside of their culture when the idea of dating African men as an alternative is presented. Maybe it's because some women find more in common with non-black men from their culture as opposed to black men from different cultures or simply prefer the familiarity. Or would plain just like to stick to black men of their own culture, as opposed to any man outside of it.

 

[blksndrlla]

-deleted post-

 

[Fine 4s]

I really love intercultural relationships, especially within the African diaspora, so I thought I'd start this thread.

Are you dating/married to a black man from a different cultural background? Share your story here:
I'm west indian and dated more AAs in the past from various ethnicities. My current SO is from the same country and cultural background as I...finally!

Where did you two meet?
At a restaurant/lounge

How long have y'all been dating/married?
Few months

Is it hard being from two different cultures?
This relationship is much easier in comparison to the other relationships I've had with cultures different from my own.
In this relationship, there are things that we just GET! I enjoy this relationship more than any other and he feels the same in LARGE part because of the shared culture.

If you have or plan to have children, how do you intend on raising them?
This should be fairly easy. If I was with an AA or any other cultural group, that still wouldn't be an issue. They'd be all of the cultures mixed!

Responses in red...

 

[CurlyMoo]

I'm not too surprised there haven't been more responses. I've read multiple times people state their preference for not wanting to date black men outside of their culture when the idea of dating African men as an alternative is presented. Maybe it's because some women find more in common with non-black men from their culture as opposed to black men from different cultures or simply prefer the familiarity. Or would plain just like to stick to black men of their own culture, as opposed to any man outside of it.

I do agree that American men have more in common with American women than someone from a different country and culture of the same race. But if you require that your man be Black then I feel you should be very open to men of other cultures and countries. However, the snag with that is many Black women want Black men from the same country, state, city, neighborhood, church and that will lower your options considerably.

For Black women who have a problem with African or men from the east; I would stick with other Americans as in Canadian and South American or even Western European Black men where the culture isn't unlike North American culture. He would have a tasty accent.

 

[CurlyMoo]

Bumping for responses.

 

[FelaShrine]

M

When we have children we will raise them as Haitian-Nigerians. We plan on having them spend as much time as they can in Haiti and Nigeria. I am currently learning Igbo and am immersing myself in all things Nigeria. I am the sort of woman that doesn't like anyone translating for me.................... for long. So, currently I can name body parts, say kind things to him and ask a person how they are doing.

I don't think he and I being from 2 different cultures is difficult. Actually, many Haitian slaves came from West Africa (particularly Nigeria) so while the language is different many, many things are similar.

A while back all I wanted to be is with a Haitian man but love is love. I am so blessed that he already knows quite a bit about Haiti and can say a few phrases already.

Abeg you two are the same. It's a well known fact that Haitians are infact long lost Igbos.

More often than not put a Hiatian woman or esp man next to a Igbo person, you wont be able to tell the difference til they open their mouth.

when I used to work in Rockland and visit Spring Valley. I thought I was in Onitsha

 

[FelaShrine]

Dammit this is old

 

[SamandI]

Nigerian and Barbadian.

Dating a West Indian actually has opened my eyes to how intertwined parts of Caribbean and African cultures still are. Our outlook on life, gender roles in a relationship, raising children, family, etc coincide. It's like dating a Nigerian, without the "extra" family members.

 

[wednesday]

PLEASE DO NOT QUOTE.

Are you dating/married to a black man from a different cultural background? Share your story here:
I am 1st Gen Ghanaian/ British my SO is AA born and raised in Cali.

Where did you two meet?

We met at school in LA

How long have y'all been dating/married?

We known each other for 8 years and dated on and off. We've been together seriously for 2 years and we plan to marry next year.

Is it hard being from two different cultures?

Yes, it can be. To be honest. It helps that he is open to my culture but we are from completely different backgrounds but i think that may be more of a socioeconomic difference. His family....well his brother openly mocks my culture (jokingly but it still leaves a bad taste). Other members of his family have been quite disrespectful in their conduct and i worry about our families meeting, my parent don't play with that kind of behaviour, they are very traditional nd expect my SO to take part in our cultural engagement process. The good thing is my SO is very respectful, sweet, kind, loving, honest and a good man.

If you have or plan to have children, how do you intend on raising them?

We plan on having children. We agree for the most part on how we want to raise children. I want to put heavy emphasis on education and making sure they are involved in a lot of extra curricular activities, are well travelled and speak other languages. Sometimes I have a few concerns in this area also.
__________________

 

[brittle_hair]

I'm ghanaian SO is nigerian, culturally there are a lot of similarities, but a lot of our parents generation were anti-nigerians, so some aunty's are a bit funny - but not publicly. My parents are ok with it - we've been together for 3 years. Growing up i heard a lot of negativity about nigerians, but my SO is lovely so nobody really has anything bad to say about him, otherr than the fact that he needs to hurry up and put a ring on it, but that's another thread...

 

[LoveisYou]

DON"T QUOTE

I really love intercultural relationships, especially within the African diaspora, so I thought I'd start this thread.

Are you dating/married to a black man from a different cultural background?
I am Jamaican, but I've been in the U.S. since I was a teen. My SO is Ugandan but was raised in Botswana.

Share your story here:

Where did you two meet?
At a networking event.

How long have y'all been dating/married?
It's new, 4 months

Is it hard being from two different cultures?
So far No, it's been exciting. I love learning about different cultures in general so I enjoy hearing about his culture and how he grew up. I've taught him some Jamaican patois and he loves Jamaican food. He enjoys hearing about my culture and asks me a lot about how I was raised. There are a lot of cultural similarities between us. But most importantly we share very similar values in terms of our belief and faith in God.
If you have or plan to have children, how do you intend on raising them?
We've actually spoken about this lol. I told him they'll be "Jafrican" (Jamaican + African) If we do get married and have children, they'll be raised knowing about both cultures. Both of us love our cultures so I'm sure we would past that on to our children. Generally speaking I want my children to be respectful, curious and appreciative of different cultural backgrounds.

answers in purple