Lots of hair issues Need advice

C

christyrose

New Member
So as hard/embarrassing this is to tell anyone I have a serious hair issue. I have been pulling my hair since I was 2 or 3 years old. Like pulling it out. I have tried to stop for years and years but I couldnt go one day without doing it no matter how hard I tried. Its been such a huge habit of mine that I would do without realizing it even. Sometimes I would get discouraged and pull when I am stressed or have anxiety, and my hair not looking nice just made it worse. I had a lot of breakthroughs this week and a lot of getting down to what I kept pulling from and I am done. Its only been 5 days, but I know I am done. I feel like a huge weight is off me, now I just cant wait to get my hair looking nice...

So right now I have pretty uneven hair. I can wear it up though which is why I keep it like this, vs cutting it all short because its still not as thick as it should be and I want it to grow out a little more in certain spots so I wont have to do a pixie cut. I have thin hair as it is and right now am using mouse to thicken it and blow drying when I have to go out of the house, but all other days about 4 a week I let it dry naturally and use no product. I am needing tips on how to get the most growth the quickest and how to treat my hair the best because I already have enough issues with breakage and thinning I cant afford any more!

I have never had nice hair or long hair in my life and I am excited to do this. I could use all the support from you guys! I would love to see photos of any ear length to longer grow outs too and how long it took for each step so I can stay motivated and not get discouraged when I dont see overnight results!

Oh and my hair is about ear length now with other areas that are shorter, but in a couple months it will all be a little below my ear with some areas still a slight bit shorter. I am planning on getting a cut in a couple months or when the shorter layers are grown out to my ears a little better.
 
Not sure if I did something wrong, but I am not seeing my post in the thread. Maybe commenting will help, or maybe I just cant see it because its my own post.
 
Welcome to the forum! I don't have any pics since I didn't really start documenting until my hair was longer. There are lots of great successes stories here though, and I'm sure you'll be one of them :)

Have you tried wearing half wigs? Lots of ladies here wear them and they can help keep you from having to use heat on your hair when you go out.

Good luck! Can't wait to see your growth update :)

Sent from my HTC Evo
 
I havent. I have tried clip in hair extensions and even glue in ones. Not only do those pull my hair and damage it even more, but my hair is so fine that it shows. I have thought about partial wigs and stuff, but part of the problem is I am so self contentious about people being able to tell I have a problem ( or had hehe) that I am afraid to wear them and be noticeable or have a way thicker look! I mean my hair is so so so thin that it would be hard to hide the clips or the hair line of the partials. I am sure it will thicken a lot with regrowth, but it will still be fine and thin even with that!
 
I agree with half wigs suggestion. They dont have to be big and bodacious. I used to get close matches w/my hair and cut them down to look natural.

Are you natural or relaxed? Kinky or curly? What products are you using now?

I would suggest you avoid heat for going out unless your hair is clean. Adding heat to dirty hair = breakage mostly likely.
 
Yeah maybe I should look into half wigs more and see if they have something thinner. I guess all the ones I have seen have been super big and thick. My hair is straight with a slight curl to it, but the sides of my head just were I pulled the most are extreemly curly, I think once they are longer it will just be a wave, where the fronts of my hair are pin straight. I have about 8 inches of growth in front, and about 3-4 inches of growth on the sides and about 10 inches in the back with about 3-4 inches on the top... Kind of messed up, but at least it can only get better from here.
 
I'm on my phone, so I can't link threads for you, but you can search for castor oil and JBCO (do an advanced search with titles only) - these are used to aid growth and thickness. You should also make sure you're deep conditioning, moisturizing, and protecting your ends.

There are all kind of challenges for length goals, healthy edges, healthy ends, recovering from a setback, deep conditioning, etc. It might be helpful to browse through some of those for tips. Reading through the forum and doing searches will give you a ton of information.

Sent from my HTC Evo
 
Oh and for the natural or relaxed I have stopped dying my hair or doing anything heat related as much as possible since last year. So its so much healthier, but with lots of breakage so once its all even I think its going to look healthier than ever. Products I try to wash only a couple times a week after I have gone out and only use product when I have to be somewhere in front of people I know, not the store or something like that. I use hairspray and mouse for the most part. I have to use hairspray to keep the short hairs down on the top of my head, but have been wear fabric headbands to keep from having to do as much. My hair is so thin my pony tail is about an inch in circumference!!
 
Foxxylocks- I have been reading a ton on castor oil right now and just started it tonight! I just found this group today so I have been reading a lot today about everything, but I will have to try searching for those challenges as well! I think joining something like that will be good for me because I need to set goals for myself to not get discouraged about how it looks now and continue to think about how its going to look. I am so excited that after 23 years of not being able to stop this, and lots of tears and pain I am actually able to think about long hair now. Thank you for all your support girls its so nice to have!!
 
My friend- I dont have photos... My husband suggested it today so I could see the growth but its honestly too embarrassing right now. He says it doesnt look as bad as what I am thinking it does, but I would rather wait until its more even to even take a photo of it. I know thats not as helpful, but maybe after a while of this I will get braver and just take the pics.LOL. My hair is super duper fine, and braids have never held well. Not sure if I got something done through someone that it would be better, but I am a little scared to go into anyone but my hairstylist who cuts my hair and knows about my issue! She doesnt do extensions though :(
 
Ok so I just realized a lot of you ladies all have black hair from your photos. I am a white, blonde hair gal so thats the deal with the braids. My hair isnt coarse at all and is silk fine. Just thought I would clarify that so you would get my my hair is so fine!!
 
christyrose said:
Ok so I just realized a lot of you ladies all have black hair from your photos. I am a white, blonde hair gal so thats the deal with the braids. My hair isnt coarse at all and is silk fine. Just thought I would clarify that so you would get my my hair is so fine!!
Click to expand...

Yes, it is a board with mostly women of color but there is a ton of information that anyone can benefit from.

I think the most important thing you can do is see a professional about the pulling because anxiety is difficult to deal with on your own.

If you are comfortable with a short cut, it's probably best to cut it into a style where the short pieces won't be so obvious. There are lots of half wigs or clip on ponytails you could wear if you aren't comfortable with a cut. I think UPA makes some that blend with a ton of hair types: http://laceflair.com/

Castor oil helps with hair growth but it's really heavy and might make your hair look greasy. If you just eat healthily and drink lots of water, I'm sure your hair will grow in in no time. :)
 
Regardless of your hair type I highly suggest stopping the hairspray and mousse. Terrible stuff! All that alcohol only serves to dry out your hair, break it, and make it appear even thinner. I'd just chop the rest in a cute style--you might look cute with a pixie! It will grow out fast.

There's also lots of women benefitting from the use of coconut oil and even castor oil soaking into the hair the night before they wash. Then they shampoo it out in the morning. Just sleep with a bonnet to save the bedding. :) Here's one on YT. There's oodles of these vids. YT is your friend as much as LHCF!
 
I have seen a dr about it, but all the want to do is put me on meds and I did try them for a short time before getting pregnant and they werent working. Honestly nothing was working. I just worked some things out and realized some reasons why I was pulling when it wasnt out of habit. I started to not want to pull more than ever before (and I have been so desperate in the past). I have been really open with my husband about wanting to pull and staying accountable. I havent pulled in coming up on a week now and I know I am done. I have never went a single day, and now that I just know its in me and that I can do this for 5 days, I wont go back. I CANT afford to. I decided that I have struggled with this my whole life and I deserve nice hair. I feel like something was lifted off me and I know without a doubt that its by the grace of God that I have done as well as I am. I just started realizing when I am stressed and telling myself to not get into old habits again. Its going to take several months for the habit to be broken, but I am conscious of it all the time and I refuse to fail.LOL. I have been reading tons of info on here. I feel stupid that I didnt realize that it was all woman of color as I know hair for you guys is a lot different, but I welcome reading all the advice either way! I truly appreciate your advice and help! I cant wait to tell you all about my success and share photos at some point! I also cant wait to even see how fast my hair grows. I have never really been able to keep track of that before since it was always changing and uneven!
 
christyrose said:
So as hard/embarrassing this is to tell anyone I have a serious hair issue. I have been pulling my hair since I was 2 or 3 years old. Like pulling it out. I have tried to stop for years and years but I couldnt go one day without doing it no matter how hard I tried. Its been such a huge habit of mine that I would do without realizing it even. Sometimes I would get discouraged and pull when I am stressed or have anxiety, and my hair not looking nice just made it worse. I had a lot of breakthroughs this week and a lot of getting down to what I kept pulling from and I am done. Its only been 5 days, but I know I am done. I feel like a huge weight is off me, now I just cant wait to get my hair looking nice...

So right now I have pretty uneven hair. I can wear it up though which is why I keep it like this, vs cutting it all short because its still not as thick as it should be and I want it to grow out a little more in certain spots so I wont have to do a pixie cut. I have thin hair as it is and right now am using mouse to thicken it and blow drying when I have to go out of the house, but all other days about 4 a week I let it dry naturally and use no product. I am needing tips on how to get the most growth the quickest and how to treat my hair the best because I already have enough issues with breakage and thinning I cant afford any more!

I have never had nice hair or long hair in my life and I am excited to do this. I could use all the support from you guys! I would love to see photos of any ear length to longer grow outs too and how long it took for each step so I can stay motivated and not get discouraged when I dont see overnight results!

Oh and my hair is about ear length now with other areas that are shorter, but in a couple months it will all be a little below my ear with some areas still a slight bit shorter. I am planning on getting a cut in a couple months or when the shorter layers are grown out to my ears a little better.
Click to expand...

You have Trichotillimania??
 
Im not askin im telling you, its more than a bad habbit I also have it:( look it up then pm me if you want to talk about it:)
 
First I would love to congratulate u for beating Trichotillimania on your own, it's nothing short of amazing. My cousin has it and I know the emotional toll it takes and how seemingly impossible it is to beat.

I also agree with other posters about a cute cut. It may give u that fresh start u need to get ur mind exactly where it needs to be and as far away from the thought of the pulling. So that during ur first hard months of ur hair journey u can look in the mirror n see growth n not be reminded of what was by uneven lengths. :) ... Whatever u decide good luck to u.
 
Last edited:
I haven't read the other comments yet, but have you gone to a doctor or psychiatrist to talk about where this stems from? Because it might be psychological and not something that can be easily fixed by weaving up your hair. You might have anxiety or stress in your life that needs confronting.

I'm very sorry you're going through this btw.

Sent from my iPhone using LHCF
 
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