Hairsnob
Deep Thinker
Sorry it's so long! My friend since jr high (I'll call her Kim) has over the years become loud, selfish, obnoxious and kinda unladylike. 
erplexed She used to be the quiet type when she was in relationships and now that she's been single for the past 5 yrs or so she became different.
She admits being sad for not having a man and feeling sorry for herself. Me and my other girlfriends were always in relationships. I noticed she drinks a lot and that's when she gets more loud and embarrassing. She's sometimes rude to waiters and says unladylike things where others can hear her and she doesn't care.
When I first met my BF he wanted to set her up with his best friend thinking it'd be good if we could all hang out. My BF had only met her once and thought she was funny. They went on a date and it didn't turn out well and the story my BF's friend told him wasn't good. The nicer way to put it is to say she had no class.
I didn't want to hurt her feelings so I never told her all the things he said about her. My BF told me she came off as desperate and......hoodrat like. I defended her thinking his friend was a prude because at the time I didn't see it as everyone else did.
Recently we were at a supper club type setting with ten friends. Another friend knew a bandmember so after a few drinks Kim was yelling something about "we in the house" or something like that trying to get the band member's attention. This made me realize how embarrassing Kim was becoming. My other mutual longtime friend told her to tone it down and she blamed it on the friend saying she needs to get the stick out of her butt.
This is the dilemma. She always asks why she can't find a man. I tell her she needs to tone it down a bit. Her answer is always, well, I have to be myself. I told her about how she was too loud at the supper club and her answer was well, yall know how I am so why did yall invite me? She got mad and said she's tired of being told she can't be herself. She's a really funny person and everywhere we go guys laugh and say things like, oh you're so funny or something because they can't believe some of the things she says that most women wouldn't say. This encourages her to act this way to get attention.
We were at a fish fry and the lady at the door joked about there being plenty of rich men in there. So one of the guys throwing the fish fry was introducing us to his friends and Kim said oh, are yall the rich guys? I heard there were rich guys here so I'm looking for them. I wanted to crawl up under a rock when she said that!!
The guy looked at her like she had three heads and he was speechless. I've never been so embarassed in my life!! No wonder they think women are gold diggers. I tried to clean it up for her and say she was just joking but it was too late.
Honestly, if I just met Kim she would NOT be my friend. But I've known her all my life and she doesn't like you to tell her anything so it's getting hard to hang out with her. I care about my image and I know if anybody heard one loud person at a dinner table then they would look at the ENTIRE table and think they were immature. I'm usually good at constructive criticism but she gets so defensive so it's hard. I think I was too easy on her just saying she was too loud. How do I tell her what not to say when I never know what's going to come out of her mouth? It reminds me when my son was about three and I could tell he's about to say something he shouldn't, like ask a lady why she has a mustache. You can't cover his mouth because it's too late, he already said it.
That really did happen.
How do you explain that most men don't like loud and rowdy women even though they say she's funny? They're really laughing at her and not with her. The drinking is another story and probably the main culprit but that's gonna be even harder to address.
T.I.A!!
erplexed She used to be the quiet type when she was in relationships and now that she's been single for the past 5 yrs or so she became different.She admits being sad for not having a man and feeling sorry for herself. Me and my other girlfriends were always in relationships. I noticed she drinks a lot and that's when she gets more loud and embarrassing. She's sometimes rude to waiters and says unladylike things where others can hear her and she doesn't care.
When I first met my BF he wanted to set her up with his best friend thinking it'd be good if we could all hang out. My BF had only met her once and thought she was funny. They went on a date and it didn't turn out well and the story my BF's friend told him wasn't good. The nicer way to put it is to say she had no class.
I didn't want to hurt her feelings so I never told her all the things he said about her. My BF told me she came off as desperate and......hoodrat like. I defended her thinking his friend was a prude because at the time I didn't see it as everyone else did. Recently we were at a supper club type setting with ten friends. Another friend knew a bandmember so after a few drinks Kim was yelling something about "we in the house" or something like that trying to get the band member's attention. This made me realize how embarrassing Kim was becoming. My other mutual longtime friend told her to tone it down and she blamed it on the friend saying she needs to get the stick out of her butt.
This is the dilemma. She always asks why she can't find a man. I tell her she needs to tone it down a bit. Her answer is always, well, I have to be myself. I told her about how she was too loud at the supper club and her answer was well, yall know how I am so why did yall invite me? She got mad and said she's tired of being told she can't be herself. She's a really funny person and everywhere we go guys laugh and say things like, oh you're so funny or something because they can't believe some of the things she says that most women wouldn't say. This encourages her to act this way to get attention.
We were at a fish fry and the lady at the door joked about there being plenty of rich men in there. So one of the guys throwing the fish fry was introducing us to his friends and Kim said oh, are yall the rich guys? I heard there were rich guys here so I'm looking for them. I wanted to crawl up under a rock when she said that!!
The guy looked at her like she had three heads and he was speechless. I've never been so embarassed in my life!! No wonder they think women are gold diggers. I tried to clean it up for her and say she was just joking but it was too late. Honestly, if I just met Kim she would NOT be my friend.
But I've known her all my life and she doesn't like you to tell her anything so it's getting hard to hang out with her. I care about my image and I know if anybody heard one loud person at a dinner table then they would look at the ENTIRE table and think they were immature. I'm usually good at constructive criticism but she gets so defensive so it's hard. I think I was too easy on her just saying she was too loud. How do I tell her what not to say when I never know what's going to come out of her mouth? It reminds me when my son was about three and I could tell he's about to say something he shouldn't, like ask a lady why she has a mustache. You can't cover his mouth because it's too late, he already said it.That really did happen. How do you explain that most men don't like loud and rowdy women even though they say she's funny? They're really laughing at her and not with her. The drinking is another story and probably the main culprit but that's gonna be even harder to address.
T.I.A!!
Maybe take her to places where that sort of behaviour is ok and leave her at home when you go to the classy places. 
