Been there - 1st scenario - you have GOT to stop talking to him altogether to heal IMO. If you keep being around him, being intimate, it's like a setback. You need to heal because you still have feelings...people with no feelings don't get upset, or have certain flutters or things like that. It seems like you have SOUL TIES with the first guy. Breaking that is HARD. Only things that can help is TIME, SPACE, and loads upon loads of PRAYER!! Good luck!