Language Barriers

[Syrah]

At what point does the language barrier become a problem?

And no, I'm not talking about meeting somehow who can barely speak English but just not having a language in common that both of you have AT LEAST business-environment capabilities...

So I'm out with my girls this weekend and we meet this group of Spanish rock-climbers . Ph.D students (Physics and Chemistry) in the US on a month long holiday. 5 of them, 3 of us. One of my friends speaks Spanish fluently so it wasn't a problem for her. I speak some French and so did the dude I was talking to, so we spoke about 90% English and 10% French. My girl and the dude she was talking to struggled... he barely spoke English, she speaks nothing BUT English. AND he was the best looking of the five.

He wants to take her out - she's a little hesitant. Her exact words "I don't want to be sitting at dinner saying "huh?" and "what??" all night. Don't get me wrong, she's going...

ASIDE from the "relations" (ha!) that could take place - I'm wondering:

-At what point does the language barrier become a problem.
-And would you consider learning a language for/as a result of a man??

 

[Farida]

I used to see this guy at my undergrad who dated a Korean girl who barely spoke English. They broke up after 3 yrs of dating and I used to joke to DH that she finally learned English and now that they understand each other they can't stand each other!

 

[feelfree]

my field involves working with Deaf people on a daily basis. i cannot tell you how many interpreters and teachers i have met who learned American Sign Language as a result of having a crush on/being in a relationship with someone whose primary communication was ASL. And it's not as if sign language is any easier to learn than any other language, either.

the language barrier only becomes a problem when either party is no longer is willing to learn said language.

yes, being as that i LOVE languages, i would be more than willing to learn a language to communicate with someone in whom i was interested. why limit yourself?

 

[FlowerHair]

Me and my SO speak English together. My English is pretty much fluent, but I still find myself struggling when I want to explain certain things. There are some expressions that make so much more sense in Swedish! His Swedish could be better, he understands a lot, but can't speak very well.

It's undeniable - there IS a language barrier there at times, even though my English is very good compared to most Swedes. We have had serious misunderstandings on a few occasions because I said something to him that he interpreted in a way that I didn't mean... erplexed I thought a word meant something, but apparently the underlying meaning of the word was something different.

Oh well!

 

[Syrah]

I'm with ya'll. I would learn another language "in order to communicate with a dude" in a heartbeat. But then I like languages anyway - so it's just "more of a reason" to do so...

 

[cocoberry10]

Me and my SO speak English together. My English is pretty much fluent, but I still find myself struggling when I want to explain certain things. There are some expressions that make so much more sense in Swedish! His Swedish could be better, he understands a lot, but can't speak very well.

It's undeniable - there IS a language barrier there at times, even though my English is very good compared to most Swedes. We have had serious misunderstandings on a few occasions because I said something to him that he interpreted in a way that I didn't mean... erplexed I thought a word meant something, but apparently the underlying meaning of the word was something different.

Oh well!

Your english is excellent

I think if you really like each other, it's time to learn each other's language. If he spoke in spanish and she spoke in English, eventually, they will understand each other (I learned portugese this way, someone spoke it to me, and i taught them english)

 

[yokoyokogirl]

My bf speaks English to me, although I have requested he speak more Japanese, so my ability will improve. Tonite he spoke only Japanese, and I thought my brain was going to explode!

His English is pretty good, but he has some way old slang that needs to be updated. (Like "keep this on the down low" and "my boo") I can't help but fall out laughing when he uses that stuff, but that's what makes him great. The communication comes to be a problem, when he doesn't know what's socially acceptable to say to someone in English. Like when I told him I hadn't seen "Jungle Fever", he said "Wow, are you really Black?" To me, this was a funny joke, not to mean any harm, but kinda like: Here's a random Jguy who grew up in a totally foreign country with no Black friends whatsoever, but he's seen this movie, and I haven't. He didn't know and one of my not so understanding friends, ripped him a new hole over it. Still, I had to tell him, you can't go around saying things like that in public, some ppl will get seriously pissed. Now he gets it.

I think it's worth it to try, even if you can't communicate in the beginning. I know this one lady here who met her husband while working together. They were both guards on the military base. He asked her out on a date only after getting a friend to write a note in English. When she approached him to say yes, he just nodded to everything she said. On their date, they both communicated through signals and dictionaries. She said she really liked how he got the courage to approach her despite not knowing what or how to say anything. Now they are happily married w/kids, he speaks much better English and same for her Japanese!

 

[itismehmmkay]

It'll get better with practice. Most times a person may know a language, but has to get used to the way you say it. She shouldn't go out to dinner just yet. Maybe a movie and see if they can do subtitles (don't ask in front of him though ) Then they can do small talk before and after and he can get used to how she talks