Ladies, I need your help! (long-ish)

[divya]

*sigh*

My posts here are usually very short, so this is big for me. Right now, I am having all kinds of little issues - from hair to weight. So here is my hair ordeal…

I have been texturized for years. However, lately I've been going back and forth about being natural. My usual stylist is my uncle, but we think he's getting tired of doing the entire family's hair. He'll set times with you and then you can't reach him. LOL. And I am so scared of letting anyone else put chemicals in my hair so....

Here I am again at the going-natural crossroads. I am trying but my hair is breaking like crazy right now which scares me. To make matter worse, my hair feels like rope right now. So what I am doing wrong? Further, I thought my mother could best remind me of what my hair is like naturally so I know whether that route is for me. But she's as vague as ever..."kind of like this or that but not completely"...

How do I feel? Some days I feel like chopping it. But I have never had short hair, and it doesn’t look like it will fit me. Other days want to texturize but who can do it without damaging it? Then other days I don’t want to put any more chemicals, but it’s breaking. Basically, I don’t know what to do with this stuff on my head right now...

Help help help!!!! This is so frustrating. Any suggestions for my current hair condition. Can you all help me decide? What would you do?

Early November Blowout

Mid November Curly

 

[OneInAMillion]

Currygal,

I haven't transitioned, so I don't exactly know how to help erplexed . How long are you into your transition?

My suggestion is that you need MOISTURE. If you're going to do a long transition, you should find some products that help your hair stay hydrated and feel soft. Are you deep conditoning regularly? Moisturizing often?

I don't want to make a recommendation about texturizing or going natural. I would take some more time to think about it though. Also, don't let anyone put chemicals in your hair IF you have doubts--it can only lead to more problems.

I frequently think about transitioning, and I try to stretch my relaxers so I get to know what my natural hair is like again. I do know that it's a process, so just put your hair up and forget about it for a little while. You can do it!

 

[divya]

Currygal,

I haven't transitioned, so I don't exactly know how to help erplexed . How long are you into your transition?

My suggestion is that you need MOISTURE. If you're going to do a long transition, you should find some products that help your hair stay hydrated and feel soft. Are you deep conditoning regularly? Moisturizing often?

I don't want to make a recommendation about texturizing or going natural. I would take some more time to think about it though. Also, don't let anyone put chemicals in your hair IF you have doubts--it can only lead to more problems.

I frequently think about transitioning, and I try to stretch my relaxers so I get to know what my natural hair is like again. I do know that it's a process, so just put your hair up and forget about it for a little while. You can do it!

Thank you. Half of my problem is that I can be very impatient when it comes to these things. You are right about finding products that work for me and sticking to a regimen. I have just been using ORS Carrot/Olive Oil, Dax Grease, Carefree Curl Moisturizer and putting my hair back...and my hair just feels worse that it has in years. It's very very dry. I want to do something about it tonight but I dont know what...

I found a new stylist who blew out my hair in the first pic. She's good but i am hesistant to let her texturize. I think i may be able to direct her if necessary but it's a tough decision.

So guess its first things first...can you recommend a few deep conditioners that moisturize and soften your hair right away?

BTW, I am about 8/9 weeks into my transition. My mother texturized my hair at the end of Sept but it didnt really take...so maybe more than that...

 

[LynnieB]

try the ORS replenishing packs or a cholesterol (dpr-11 or others).

i know i'm sounding like a broken record here so sorry. aubrey organics gpb and honeysuckle rose conditioners + plastic cap.

bottom line is you really need to:

pull out all stops and use heat to get the conditioning started. either hot towels, heating cap or bonnet dryer along with the plastic cap.

take a day and really let that conditioner sit and absorb into your strands.

after that, use a good moisturizing/detangling spray like elasta qp's H2O (there are others i'm sure).

or use a homemade spritz of your fav conditioner and water even.

and girl, you're gonna have to change your mindset and force the patience. this is probably the MOST important thing to remember.

moisture, patience and gentleness for now then after you're hair starts feeling better then consider the chemicals again.

 

[OneInAMillion]

Thank you. Half of my problem is that I can be very impatient when it comes to these things. You are right about finding products that work for me and sticking to a regimen. I have just been using ORS Carrot/Olive Oil, Dax Grease, Carefree Curl Moisturizer and putting my hair back...and my hair just feels worse that it has in years. It's very very dry. I want to do something about it tonight but I dont know what...

I found a new stylist who blew out my hair in the first pic. She's good but i am hesistant to let her texturize. I think i may be able to direct her if necessary but it's a tough decision.

So guess its first things first...can you recommend a few deep conditioners that moisturize and soften your hair right away?

BTW, I am about 8/9 weeks into my transition. My mother texturized my hair at the end of Sept but it didnt really take...so maybe more than that...

I like your blowout pic!

LynnieB made some really good suggestions as far as deep conditioning. My hair is mostly texturized, and I feel like there is no such thing as overconditioning on my head...and it sounds like you have some underprocessing. DC'ing will ease that!

I feel like the Sedal Keraforce pusher but I love this stuff. THe deep conditioner really keeps my hair moisturized and it detangles easily.

Another thing...do you rollerset?

 

[angelita842002]

I agree with the other girls that you need more moisture but if your hair is breaking i would recomend a protein treatment like motions cpr followed by a deep deep conditioner. I love to use cholesteral with evoo or any other oil. Also hot oil treatments w any oil help really dry hair. I do one at least twice a month. Also cowashing every day or other day helps my hair to stay very moisturized. SO moisturized and protect those ends. By the way I love your blowout. Try being patient and gentle and then texturize. HTH

 

[ThursdayGirl]

You know, I transitioned for 14 months and then cut off all of the relaxer. I would say if you're curious about being natural, just to try it. Since you say you're not a patient person (neither am I, I still don't know how I made it to 14 months) why not just go for a big chop. If you don't like it you can always relax again, get braids, wig it, or weave it.

Hair changes texture over time (about every 7 years or so) due to hormones and things. Having a relaxer for a number of years can also change the texture slightly (this is anecdotal - I haven't seen where anyone has actually studied this). So the hair that's growing out of your scalp right now is not the same hair that grew out when you were a kid.

There's lot of help and support on this board for transitioning if you decide to do it. I kinda feel every one should be natural (as an adult) at least once in their life. How else do you know for yourself what your real hair is like? It might be more managable than you think.

 

[sunshinebeautiful]

I agree about not letting anyone texturize your hair if you're uncomfortable with it. Instead, I would focus on getting rid of that dryness/breakage until I came to a decision to continue to texturize or transition into natural.

I've found the "Hair Breakage 101" sticky to be quite helpful in terms of assessing what your hair needs. You might need to use protein or possibly more moisture to get your hair back to an optimal healthy state. Many ladies use Aphogee as a heavy-duty protein treatment, if your hair needs more protein. I'm mostly texturized as well, and I've found that moisture is my best friend. I deep condition weekly (sometimes 2x week) with Keracare Humecto conditioner. It leaves my hair super soft and moisturized for days.

 

[divya]

try the ORS replenishing packs or a cholesterol (dpr-11 or others).

i know i'm sounding like a broken record here so sorry. aubrey organics gpb and honeysuckle rose conditioners + plastic cap.

bottom line is you really need to:

pull out all stops and use heat to get the conditioning started. either hot towels, heating cap or bonnet dryer along with the plastic cap.

take a day and really let that conditioner sit and absorb into your strands.

after that, use a good moisturizing/detangling spray like elasta qp's H2O (there are others i'm sure).

or use a homemade spritz of your fav conditioner and water even.

and girl, you're gonna have to change your mindset and force the patience. this is probably the MOST important thing to remember.

moisture, patience and gentleness for now then after you're hair starts feeling better then consider the chemicals again.

Actually, you are not sounding like a broken record at all. There is so much information on LHCF that one can get lost in all of it. I haven't done hot towels or the Elasta QP. In fact, I dont think I own any detangling sprays so that's on my list now. Tomorrow will be the day for deep conditioning with heat. You're right about changing my attitude. Nothing is going to work for me unless I do...

Thank you.