Awww *hugs*
For the shedding with your roller sets, try using a garlic conditioner/serum (Alter Ego or make your own). Garlic stops shedding. I don't baggy or wear protective styles either.
I used to feel the same way before I reached bra strap (which has recently been cut to jaw length) then one day my luck changed and my hair stopped breaking and my length really set in. Here is what I learned.
(1) Don't ho your products - If you think a product is working for you, stick with it. Try to develop a product regimen and a backup. Once you've found your staple shampoo move on to pinpointing the next staple product
(2) The right moisture and protein balance is key - I was doing too much protein and not enough moisture because I didn't realize how many of my products had protein in them. Some people need more protein than others and some less. Try testing out a regimen for a month. For me, it's protein deep treatment once a month.
(3) The devil is in the details - The little things I did or didn't do while washing my hair, the way I handled my hair while combing it, etc. For example, I was often not rinsing out my shampoo well enough. With my roller sets I was not combing the hair properly and I was rolling them too tightly. Pay attention. Keep a journal if necessary.
(4) Perfect the rollerset - Go to a Dominican salon and just watch them when they set your hair. For me, it was that my conditioner wasn't moisturizing enough so my home sets came out frizzy. Once I changed conditioners and started using a chelating shampoo (to counteract hard water) my results were much better.
(5) Stop worrying - Your hair will do what it's going to do. Period.
(6) Diet - Hair growth starts from within. If your body doesn't have the proper resources than your exterior will reflect that. Make sure you have a diet that provides your body with the necessary nutrients and if it doesn't consider supplementing that with a multi vitamin or a few choice supplement specifically for growth, Biotin, etc. Make sure you're drinking enough water which aids in eliminating gunk from your system. A clogged body can't absorb, properly, the nutrients from your diet . You may even want to look into a lemon olive oil liver flush.
(7) Domincans love beans - A lot of Dominicans and Puerto Ricans (and other groups) eat a lot of beans, rice, and chicken daily. The amino acids in beans and rice form a complete protein. Protein makes the hair and nails grow strong and thick. Rather then stuffing myself with fried eggs I incorporated a lot of chicken/fish and beans and rice. I can personally attest to their benefits. Even having a side of bean stew with your meal at night or making curry lentil stew if you're not keen on cooking the beans in your rice. There are also other sources of protein.
Good luck with your hair!