Just ask me...or...SOMEONE for help.

[SimpleKomplexity]

I have a friend who all of a sudden only has about 2 inches of hair on the top of her head. It's in a little circle patch at the top fo her. Keep in mind she DYED her hair last December and I don't think she's been taking good care of it since. She is always complainin to me about how her hair is coming out at the top (To make matters worse, her hair dresser glued some weave up there to make is "look better") Now this chick sees my hair in better condition day by day, but she still wishes to call me hair obsessed. But dang SOMETHING must be workin for me. My hair looked like moo moo the cow last year and it was her exact length (neck length). Now it's thicker and shiner so I gotta be doing SOMETHING right.

Why won't some people swallow their pride and ask for help. YeahYeah I know you thought I was krazy last year buying keracare, and all the washing was drivin you nuts but dang. Grease ain't helpin.. It's time to have a comin to jesus talk.

Just ask and you will receive....I promise....I won't bite lol

 

[KweenBeeDiva]

Don't worry, she'll come around. Pride is a BEAST! it's also hard to manage sometimes. Just drop little suggestions here and there.

 

[Zenobia61]

Pictures are worth 1000 words. When I want to turn someone on to LHCF, I usually find a fotki/picture of someone here with their similar hair texture and then show them the growth progress pics posted by that member. Most of the time, if they see actual growth in a relatively short period, they rush to join the board and then cuss me out for waiting so long to pull their coattail about it!!

 

[LushLox]

She is obviously much too proud to ask you. Hair is a woman's beauty so when hers is ruined and she sees yours shining in health it is going to be difficult for her - I can understand it, it's probably eating her up inside.

Perhaps you should let her see you browsing this forum or similar she may then just have a look in her own time.

For some people hair (when in poor condition) is just too much of a private issue to discuss, if even to ask for advice.

 

[Trace]

Um, um, um. I dyed and highlighted my hair in Dec. as well. I was just saying to myself that I'm fortunate to have hair left on my hair b/c of all the processing! erplexed Your friend is embarrassed and may feel too ashamed to approach you. Maybe you can tell her (or reinterate) your experience last year with your hair, how LCHF helped and how you can plug her in.

 

[jahzyira]

Sounds jus like me and my sister. Ever since she heard me mention washing with only conditioner she has accused me of being obsessed with my hair. She relaxes every 3-4 weeks and each time running the relaxer through to the tips and her hair is colored!!! Jus here recently her hair is thinning and shedding and breaking off in clumps NOWWWWW she comes to me lol so i helped her out with a few conditioners and made her switch to a different moisturizer, but shes still being hardheaded refusing to stretch her relaxers past 3 weeks i jus give up lol her famous quote is "long hair isnt for me its for you".......erplexed

 

[yuriko]

I was resistant to a lot of these ideas, coz i had been told all my life that black girls just cant wash their hair that often, black people need hair grease and all that jazz, its difficult to dismiss a lifetime of teaching I guess, but here I am cowashing all the time now

 

[chebaby]

i personally dont think thats pride. i think its just being lazy. just because ahe wants long hair doesnt actually mean she wants it bad enough. just like i would like to be 10 pounds smaller but i dont want it bad enough to actually change my eating and work out. just lazy.

 

[JustKiya]

i personally dont think thats pride. i think its just being lazy. just because ahe wants long hair doesnt actually mean she wants it bad enough. just like i would like to be 10 pounds smaller but i dont want it bad enough to actually change my eating and work out. just lazy.

Exactly. As long as weave is cheap, many people aren't willing or interested to put in the work that having healthy hair growing out of your scalp requires.

 

[Leeda.the.Paladin]

I think a lot of black ladies are just resistant to new ideas. They,their mama, their grandmama have been doing certain things to their hair forever, and that's the way they think it should be.

 

[Tarae]

Or maybe she just doesn't want your help.
People see my hair doing better, getting longer. They comment on it but they don't ask for help because they just aren't into hair like I am. It's not a pride thing.

 

[SimpleKomplexity]

Yeah you ladies are right. I used to HATE it when others gave me hair advice...but that was partially because their hair didn't look any better than mine lol. Anywayz, my friend and I went to walmart today. I made some good suggestions on some stuff she could use. Even cheap stuff such as suave and vo5... to cowash with....she says she doesn't have time...I'll wait until she asks for my help

 

[jamaraa]

Umm...this ain't gonna be popular, but I mean no harm. Perhaps we're a bit overconfident about our hair knowledge. Simply because you or I have found a solution for that works for our head, doesn't mean that answer is for everybody. For some, hair isn't that big a priority and many don't have the funds or time to invest doing all this.

Before you get too sure that you know THE answer for another person, consider this....what if they follow your advice and things turn out worse than before? Are you willing to take the blame?

BTW, based on what you said, this person could have scalp damage of some sort. It could be chemical (the dye) or another source, but if that's the case most of the solutions here won't work. Major scalp damage is a skin issue, not a hair care one.

 

[tiffers]

Dh's aunts came to mind while reading this. Their hair is getting thinner and shorter by the day, yet they refuse to ask for help Sometimes I get so fed up, I just HAVE to say something.

The other day they were bragging about their new Dr.Miracles products I told them that a majority of their stuff is boo-boo garbage and one's response was "Uh-uh, cause the models hair in the commercial was long and thick" I was like "That's a sew in weave"

The other one said "It does work, cause it makes my scalp tingle" I told her it was nothing but menthol and she just went on talking about how her hair is growing. I beg to differ

 

[chichibean]

I agree with what some others have said. Hair is just not a priority for some people. It wasn't for me for years and my hair stayed choppy and short... until I made the decision to change that one day. That's when I went looking for answers myself and started to put in the effort and the consistent work.
It's like seeing someone you think should lose weight. You can't do it for them and you can't make them care. It takes A LOT of effort and work and until they decide it's time for them to make a change, all your efforts and care in the world won't make a difference.

If she's a friend, then just be there for her when she decides it's time for her to make a change!

 

[SmartyPants]

Dh's aunts came to mind while reading this. Their hair is getting thinner and shorter by the day, yet they refuse to ask for help Sometimes I get so fed up, I just HAVE to say something.

The other day they were bragging about their new Dr.Miracles products I told them that a majority of their stuff is boo-boo garbage and one's response was "Uh-uh, cause the models hair in the commercial was long and thick" I was like "That's a sew in weave"

The other one said "It does work, cause it makes my scalp tingle" I told her it was nothing but menthol and she just went on talking about how her hair is growing. I beg to differ

tiffers...

I remember that story you told about them and, was it flat irons, without washing the hair... comedy gold!

 

[The Princess]

I too think its a personal thing. I wasn't all into hair at all. However my hair always grew a lil past SL., which in my faimily is considered long. I even cut my hair cause, I wanted a short hairstyle and something different Also thought it would be easier to take care of, but IMO it wasn't. I just start getting into hair but can't expect everyone else to be excited like me. People ask me for advice I give, and keep going. Like mention earlier hair is not a prority to others like it is to us. She will come around but don't push it on her, or she will get upset.

 

[SimpleKomplexity]

What tripped me out is that this gurl made a bet with me yall! She made a bet with me that I'm absolutely krazy and my hair will not grow past APL because Black hair cannot get long without genetics. I'm just gonna shut up sit back and make my money.....

 

[MizAvalon]

I agree with what some others have said. Hair is just not a priority for some people. It wasn't for me for years and my hair stayed choppy and short... until I made the decision to change that one day. That's when I went looking for answers myself and started to put in the effort and the consistent work.
It's like seeing someone you think should lose weight. You can't do it for them and you can't make them care. It takes A LOT of effort and work and until they decide it's time for them to make a change, all your efforts and care in the world won't make a difference.

If she's a friend, then just be there for her when she decides it's time for her to make a change!

Agreed. When people are finally fed up and want to change, they will seek out the answers for themselves. Isn't that what all of us did?

 

[Filmatic]

What tripped me out is that this gurl made a bet with me yall! She made a bet with me that I'm absolutely krazy and my hair will not grow past APL because Black hair cannot get long without genetics. I'm just gonna shut up sit back and make my money.....

Make that money hunny! She don't know what's coming.

 

[MonPetite]

The truly sad issue here, which has been mentioned be previous posters, is the resistance to wisdom, knowledge, and the powder that comes with them. that's what breaks my heart.

Not everyone wants LONG hair.

But, no one wants DAMAGED hair.

Sadly, however, there are people who refuse to learn new ways of doing things because they are TRAPPED in a certain mentality. That's what breaks my heart.

Same with issues about diet:

NOT EVERYONE was born to be skinny.

But,

NO ONE was born to be obese.