Joint Accounts or Yours, Mine & Ours Accounts

[delitefulmane]

I will be getting married in a few weeks and we are still trying to figure things out.

Ladies, what type of account(s) do you and your husband have?
Do you have solely one account (i.e. joint account) or do you both have your own, along with a joint household account?

How did you decide on what type works best for you?


My mom always told me that a lady should have something for herself, but this is confusing for me because it would make me feel like I am hiding money from him.

Could you ladies give me some advice on how to handle money in a Godly marriage?

 

[nlamr2013]

Not married yet but from all the advice I've gotten speak with your soon to be husband and your premarital counselor + God of course.

But from everything I've gathered 1 account for each category. So one checking, 1 savings etc

 

[CoilyFields]

DO WHATS BEST FOR YOUR MARRIAGE!

There is no set way to do finances (meaning there is no "right set-up" for Christian marriages). The only principles you have are what the Bible says, be a good steward, and give to the church. Don't feel as if you have to have one account if you don't want to.

We have a joint account where all bill money goes and two separate accounts that holds whats left of our paychecks. (We are on each others accounts) Also a joint savings. The important thing is that you two agree, the money is managed well, and that nothing is being hidden.

 

[mrselle]

Different systems work for different marriages. Also, keep in mind that things will change over the years. How you do things the first few years you are married may be different from how you do things 10 years down the line. Sit down together and discuss what your short term and long term goals are, what your living expenses are at this point in your lives and what you both think is best.

 

[mensa]

Since I'm in charge of the finances, I decided that it worked better for us if we had just one joint account.

However, as suggested earlier, do what works best for you and your future DH.

 

[Shimmie]

@Delitefulmane

CONGRATULATIONS ! ! !

I am so happy for you. Happy Wedding Day to You and Your New Hubby.

Happy Marriage to a very wonderful and blessed couple who will soon be 'One' in God and in one another.

:woohoo2: I'm so happy for you.

You are truly a beautiful Bride...indeed you are.

 

[Adelta89]

Congratulations!!! Been married 25 years. We do both. Joint account for bills mostly and a joint savings. We have separate saving accounts as well. It's worked well for us.

 

[delitefulmane]

Thanks ladies! No one touched on one part, the old saying of "always having something for yourself?" Has anyone been told this by older women?

 

[delitefulmane]

Shimmie, thanks!!
You definitely know I've come this far by faith.

Adelta89, thanks!

I'm typing from my phone so I will thank you ladies up thread when I get to my computer.

What you said has been dulled noted!!

 

[mensa]

Even when I have my own money, it really belongs to me and my DH and the same with his extra money. Our relationship is so secure that "our" money really is "one."

I tell you, it just pays to wait on the mate who God has created just for you.

Wishing you eternal love, peace, happiness and joy to you and your soon to be husband.

 

[Shimmie]

Thanks ladies! No one touched on one part, the old saying of "always having something for yourself?" Has anyone been told this by older women?

Yes It was the very first thing that my aunt told me when I got my first job. She kept my baby for me while I worked. The first thing she said is "Don't tell your husband how much money you have."

I didn't feel quite 'right' about it, at first, but I learned fast what she meant and she was right.

Here's the thing: Both of you sit down and make your budget which allows for each of you to have a certain amount of 'personal' money. Money that you have for yourself for personal 'treats'... etc. From that personal money that you both know agree upon and know about, you can choose to 'save it' or use it.

Every wife has a 'rainy day' fund. Something in the 'cookie jar' or in a purse that she keeps in the closet. It's just 'there'. I call it my 'Tucker Money'. It's money that I keep 'tucked away' that I choose not to spend, just because I have it.

Something that I've always done: Whenever I get 'crispies' (brand new bills that haven't been circulated and wrinkled, torn) I save them. I will not fold them or put them where they can get messed up. I save them and will not spend it. It adds up. I have 'tucker money' that I have totally forgotten about. I feel like if I don't 'spend it', I'll always have.

Let Hubby know that you have a tucker fund but to consider it as 'not even there'. If he loves you, he'll never ask you about it or even touch it.

God bless you. I can't wait to see your wedding photo.

 

[Laela]

@Shimmie, what's a tucker fund?

delitefulmane, we have joint and separate accounts as well but had adjusted our options as we went along. All God's best for your marriage!!

 

[Shimmie]

@Shimmie, what's a tucker fund?

@delitefulmane, we have joint and separate accounts as well but had adjusted our options as we went along. All God's best for your marriage!!

Hi Laela

It's money that I tuck away so that I won't spend it. I have a system where I refuse to spend 'brand new' bills. I just won't. It has to be where I have no other choice.

However, whenever I get 'new bills' (we call them 'crispies') I tuck them away in an envelope and I will not spend them. I let them add up.

I still have my savings accounts, 401's, etc. but the 'tucker money' is like my 'cookie jar' stash just to have on hand in case of an unexpected need and I need 'ready cash'.

 

[Laela]

Ahhh gotcha Shimmie!

 

[JaneBond007]

I hesitated to post in this thread but after reading a few responses, I have to co-sign. I think it's good to have both. We give so much as women that we can lose out in the event we need that rainy day to protect ourselves. Marriage is wonderful...can be wonderful. But honestly, we cannot control both ends of it, only our own end and responsibilities. Faith says to always trust...but wisdom says to be prepared just in case. And it might not be that rainy day money would be needed for the demise of the relationship. It could be used to provide for the family in the event other income is lost in some way and you surprise the mate. Money is important.

 

[lenu80]

Do what works for you. We have separate accounts but we know the passwords. Works for us. I can't imagine having a joint account, we will end up arguing about every cent.

 

[delitefulmane]

mensa
Shimmie
JaneBond007
lenu80
Laela
Thank you ladies so much for your candid responses!

For the ladies with the "tucker" account/money (Shimmie's coined term ) How much is okay to have "tucked" away without your spouse's knowledge?

 

[Shimmie]

@mensa
@Shimmie
@JaneBond007
@lenu80
@Laela
Thank you ladies so much for your candid responses!

For the ladies with the "tucker" account/money (Shimmie's coined term ) How much is okay to have "tucked" away without your spouse's knowledge?

at 'tucker" account

Just follow your heart. Be at peace with God and your husband.

The thing is, I always have money in my purse(s) that I often 'forget' about. I'll change a purse and the money will still be in there 'tucked away' and often I've re-discovered money that I had forgotten about.

The key is just don't 'spend everything' that you have set aside as your personal money (allowance).

You and hubby agree on what you use for home expenses, etc. and make allowances for what you keep for your separate personal use (such as lunch money, coffee shop, new shoes, earrings, nail colors, etc.). I just don't spend all of my 'personal allowance').

I like knowing that I still have money that hasn't been spent on something. I like having 'cash on hand' and actually I prefer to call it 'cash kept on hand'.

Just pray and be happily married. Money doesn't have to be an issue. It really doesn't. Just be happily married and one with God and with one another.

 

[delitefulmane]

Thanks Shimmie! What you posted is almost verbatim from the convo I just had with a godly wife I admire. Thank you for your wisdom! I will be in prayer.