I've been convicted about shacking up....now what?

[Amarech]

Long story short, God spoke to my heart this weekend in church. I can't even explain how the preacher got through to me, but by God's grace he did.

But the thing is my BF, who is great, everything i wanted, wants things to stay the same. Understadibly so. Our lives and finances are so intertwined that this is a huge issue. He has been supportive and nice about it, but things are definately different between us. He basically made a life for us and now things are changing.

I don't want to force him to do anything (i e ultimatums: marry me or I'm gone!) but its just a difficult situation. I am however determined to do what God wants regardless.

Help....

 

[envybeauty]

if you are both just that intertwined, y does he not want to get married?

 

[Dark&Lovley]

Did he go to church with you and hear the same message?

 

[Amarech]

Did he go to church with you and hear the same message?

Yeah, but it wasn't a message about shacking up. It was just a simple message about living life the way God intended according to His will. Simple but powerful...

 

[comike]

If God spoke to you and told you to do something, I suggest you do it.

 

[Dark&Lovley]

If God spoke to you and told you to do something, I suggest you do it.

ITA

The good book also says when you know what to do is right and you don't do it it's a sin
Shoot! I messed this saying up but you get the gest.

 

[Bunny77]

if you are both just that intertwined, y does he not want to get married?

That's the million-dollar question!

I agree that an ultimatum probably wouldn't be the best thing to do because you don't want him to react out of pressure, but I think nvybeauty brings up a good point.

If you say to him, "I don't want to live with a man unless I'm married to him," what is his response about marriage?

 

[Farida]

Congratulations on getting moved by the word!

Anyway, I would come clean with him. Tell him you really feel strongly about honoring God, and so you've decided the best thing is for you to move out until the two of you are ready to commit to marriage.

Basically, that's saying, "I still want to be with you, but I need to do right by God."

You'd have left the ball in his court without pushing ultimatums.

 

[chellero]

Congratulations on getting moved by the word!

Anyway, I would come clean with him. Tell him you really feel strongly about honoring God, and so you've decided the best thing is for you to move out until the two of you are ready to commit to marriage.

Basically, that's saying, "I still want to be with you, but I need to do right by God."

You'd have left the ball in his court without pushing ultimatums.

I think that this is good advice. And don't just marry him because you don't want to shack up. Marry him only if he's the one God is telling you to marry.

 

[Sashaa08]

Marry him only if he's the one God is telling you to marry.

Good point Chellero!

 

[gone_fishing]

Long story short, God spoke to my heart this weekend in church. I can't even explain how the preacher got through to me, but by God's grace he did.

But the thing is my BF, who is great, everything i wanted, wants things to stay the same. Understadibly so. Our lives and finances are so intertwined that this is a huge issue. He has been supportive and nice about it, but things are definately different between us. He basically made a life for us and now things are changing.

I don't want to force him to do anything (i e ultimatums: marry me or I'm gone!) but its just a difficult situation. I am however determined to do what God wants regardless.

Help....

Wow, I just posted something like this in the "do christians change overnight thread". Wow!

I would pray about it - and you know what you need to do. But, more important than giving him an ultimatum pray that what is in God's will be done and ask him to show you if this is the man for you. If he HONESTLY shows you that this is the man for you, then pray that God will work on his heart to make him the mate you deserve - the husband you deserve.

Do not under any circumstances sacrifice what is right for what is convenient. Imagine if God always handled us in a way He thought was convenient rather than in a way He ordained was "right".

Blessing to you and I know you will make the right decision. The Holy Spirit is looking out for your soul because God cares about you and he wants what is best for you. Listen with a close ear and blessing will come from your compliance.

 

[chicacanella]

Ultimately, though it may be difficult you need to pray to God and ask him to try and make your transition from living with him as easy as possible. Start looking at your finances and determining what portion he does and what you do, so when you do move, you will be able to live on your own without any problems.

And I'm sure that since he loves you, marrying you would be no problem at all because he doesn't want you to leave or another man to take you.

 

[firecracker]

This is a rough one because your already deep into it but you gotta do what is right by you. People have a very hard time when you change up in the middle of the road. It really isn't about him or what he agrees upon. Its about you since you are the one feeling convicted in this area. Stay strong in prayer.

 

[motherx2esq]

To the OP. The same thing happened to be when I was pregnant with my daughter and returned my life to Christ. I was in service and was at alter call. The Pastor was saying that your situation is going to change. Talking right to me but not talking to me; you know. He kept saying all these things that was speaking right to my soul. He just kept saying if you are shaking up, your situation will change and not even a month later I got my own place. I couldn't do anything but listen. So I hope you listen and step out on faith!

 

[Amarech]

I stayed away from my own thread because the first few responses were'nt so encouraging (no offense, please), but the lasts few posts were just what I needed!

Thank you for those encouraging words. I felt discouraged but now I have hope!!!!

 

[SEMO]

To the OP. The same thing happened to be when I was pregnant with my daughter and returned my life to Christ. I was in service and was at alter call. The Pastor was saying that your situation is going to change. Talking right to me but not talking to me; you know. He kept saying all these things that was speaking right to my soul. He just kept saying if you are shaking up, your situation will change and not even a month later I got my own place. I couldn't do anything but listen. So I hope you listen and step out on faith!

I agree that God will make a way for you to leave. God is faithful and always gives us a way of escape from sin.

 

[chicacanella]

I stayed away from my own thread because the first few responses were'nt so encouraging (no offense, please), but the lasts few posts were just what I needed!

Thank you for those encouraging words. I felt discouraged but now I have hope!!!!

Even though I know it wasn't me, I apologize on behalf of the rest of the body of Christ. You are apart of it too, and when one part doesn't feel good, it can effect other parts of the body.

Don't feel discouraged, ask God to increase your faith and guidance from the Holy spirit so you will know what to do next.

Just tell him, "Lord, I know that this isn't in your will and you have been such a good God to me, so please, direct my path. Increase my faith in you to do what you would have me to do with my life including my living situation. Show me how to do this properly because I know that you want me to live abundantly in a marriage which is optimal and slacking in no way, for you aren't a God of slack. Thanks for always listening to my prayers and in you precious son Jesus name, which was sacraficed for my sins, I pray. Amen.

 

[krissynick]

pray about it and god will show you what you need to do and the way you need to do it... But one important thing... pray that you accept whatever answer God gives you.. whether its what you want to hear or not... thast the hard part... but you can do it.. god wants whats best for you.