I've been challenged...need advice (kinda long)

[khrystyle]

Okay, so last night my DH and I were at my mom's house and he puts on our wedding video. For our wedding I got a full head APL fusion weave so that I could have the long hair I wanted because my hair was just not growing. (There is a pic in my fotki) So he makes a comment that he really liked my hair like that so I told him that is my goal, to get my hair to look like that again and immediately he is like we are not paying $500+ for you to do that again. I told him no, I am going to get MY hair to grow that long and he tells me in my dreams! So now I have to prove him wrong!!


So here is what I have done so far in the last few months..

I started relaxing with a JFM texturizer every 8 weeks. Even a mild relaxer was too strong for my hair. I was trying to stretch longer but using Gro-Aut and the other things I found out about my hair make that hard.

I wash and DC once a week. I used to rollerset until I broke my hooded dryer last week. I have to wait until I can afford to replace it (I am a SAHM).

So because of my hooded dryer incident, I blow dry on low/warm and curl the ends on the lowest setting on my curling iron 1x a week. Then I roll at night.

Things I found out about my hair...
It hates to be airdryed
It hates braidouts
It hates bantu knots for more than a day
It hates my ceramic flat iron(dries it out even with heat protectant)
It hates anything other than a low setting on the other heat appliances.

Oh and the other catch is no weaves or wigs. There seems to be an epidemic of my friends wearing them and I hear the comments all the time.

So can ya'll help a sista out. What can I do to not kill my hair with all these limitations?

 

[foxieroxienyc]

You know, my evil little hooded dryer broke as well and it was ALL I used for my hair drying needs. So I invested in a really good ionic/tourmaline dryer (by Andis) and purchased one of those Gold n' Hot Bonnet attachment pieces. I do roller sets, DC, flexirod sets, etc with that thing and its great. Maybe that can hold you over until you can buy a new dryer. That was my plan at first, then I realized that I don't really need it right away. I will eventually get a Pibbs.

Your reggie sounds on point. Just keep doing what you're doing, listen to your hair and do what works for YOU! Be consistent and patient and your hair will be APL in no time at all.

 

[OneInAMillion]

Your hair sounds like mine: relaxes quickly even with mild relaxers, doesn't like flat irons, airdrying, etc.

Just curious, have you tried rollersetting and then letting that airdry during the day? That may help.

 

[Mrs. Verde]

I would kick up the deep conditioning to 2-3xs per week. When you get another dryer I would alternate between sleeping in the DC overnight or sitting under the dryer for 30 mins. You may also need to think about how to "baby" your ends. What kind of moisturizer are you going to put on them daily?

 

[25Nona]

To me it sounds like you have a good start! You're going to have be patient and be consistent and APL will come. I was also going to if you've tried air drying in a rollerset during the day. For some ladies airdrying their hair straight doesn't work well, but when they roller set and airdry they get good results. It has something to do with the modular make up of the hair.

Another thing that may be helpful to you and I'm not sure if you've tried this or not but it's adding some oils or conditioner to your relaxer when you apply it since your hair is so sensitive to it. This helps to slow down the processing time. I use a mild no lye relaxer and adding oils to it has done wonders for my hair.

 

[RubyWoo]

As stated by others, it sounds like you're on the right track; however, I would get rid of the curling iron. Using two heat appliances is too much imo. If you want curls, I suggest putting in rollers after you blow dry. You can still have your curls and some body.

I would also recommend moisturizing your ends with a light moisturizer (ex. a moisturizing leave-in conditioner) at least 2-3 times a week or more depending on your hair needs.

Good luck!

 

[HoneyA]

ooh I love a challenge. Good luck with yours. Keep your regimen as simple as possible, lay off the heat and the scissors, you'll meet your challenge. Oh and be patient!

 

[Country gal]

You will get there with no problems. It seems you were your hair straight alot. I would do more protective styles. Cute baby.

 

[Country gal]

How long did your weave last?

 

[bbdgirl]

What really made the biggest difference in my hair retention was to wear protective styles. I bunned my hair for at least 4 months.
I mostly would moisturize my hair in the morning and again at night
I always wore a scarf to bed
I washed my hair 2x/week
my regimen was extremely simple

As far as drying your hair goes. I would definitely dry my hair with large magnetic rollers and airdry that way.

MY other favorite is flexirods. They are a really good protective style, because it keeps the hair off your shoulders and the style lasts for a few days. Done right with a hairnet and a scarf at night this style can last at least 5 days.
HTH

 

[naturalmanenyc]

Your DH sounds like mine. lol lol He watches our wedding video all the time loved my BSL fusion weave but at $500 to install plus buying hair, it's out of the question to have that done every 8 - 12 weeks.

DH hates wigs and braids so they are out of the question. To grow out my hair I have been protective styling after rollersets and the occasional flat iron. I am transitioning & sometimes just wear my hair curly.

With your restrictions I would try flexirod sets or use magnetic rollers rather than blowdrying and curling. I plan to get some flexirods today myself. To dry, you can use a bonnet attachment for your blowdryer until you can get another hood dryer.

Buy a few silk scarves to tie your hair up at night and find a good moisturizer. I have started to use Scurl on dry hair (and for rollersets) and have felt a marked difference in my hair.

Also, try a different flat iron. My Maxiglide gave me great results but my FHI did not. Maybe your friends/family members have a few brands that you can try before you consider which one to buy.

Good luck!

 

[DDTexlaxed]

Get it girl! U can do it!

 

[khrystyle]

Thank you all for your great advice. I am going to attempt to answer all the questions now.

You know, my evil little hooded dryer broke as well and it was ALL I used for my hair drying needs. So I invested in a really good ionic/tourmaline dryer (by Andis) and purchased one of those Gold n' Hot Bonnet attachment pieces. I do roller sets, DC, flexirod sets, etc with that thing and its great. Maybe that can hold you over until you can buy a new dryer. That was my plan at first, then I realized that I don't really need it right away. I will eventually get a Pibbs.

Your reggie sounds on point. Just keep doing what you're doing, listen to your hair and do what works for YOU! Be consistent and patient and your hair will be APL in no time at all.

I was thinking about one of these but I didn't know If I could use it for rollersets. Thanks. Maybe one day I can dream about a Pibbs.

Your hair sounds like mine: relaxes quickly even with mild relaxers, doesn't like flat irons, airdrying, etc.

Just curious, have you tried rollersetting and then letting that airdry during the day? That may help.

I have tried to airdry my rollersets. With the magnetic rollers they come out okay. They look a little dry but I am also trying to figure out what to use to rollerset. I tried airdrying with flexirods a few months back at it was a hot mess! My hair was super dry.

I would kick up the deep conditioning to 2-3xs per week. When you get another dryer I would alternate between sleeping in the DC overnight or sitting under the dryer for 30 mins. You may also need to think about how to "baby" your ends. What kind of moisturizer are you going to put on them daily?

I use mango butter on my ends every night.

To me it sounds like you have a good start! You're going to have be patient and be consistent and APL will come. I was also going to if you've tried air drying in a rollerset during the day. For some ladies airdrying their hair straight doesn't work well, but when they roller set and airdry they get good results. It has something to do with the modular make up of the hair.

Another thing that may be helpful to you and I'm not sure if you've tried this or not but it's adding some oils or conditioner to your relaxer when you apply it since your hair is so sensitive to it. This helps to slow down the processing time. I use a mild no lye relaxer and adding oils to it has done wonders for my hair.

That's what I like about the JFM texturizer. You add sunflower oil to the cream.

How long did your weave last?

I kept it in for 2 months. That's a whole different story about black salons and why I'm glad I don't go to them anymore. Since when is CURLING WAX not considered grease

Your DH sounds like mine. lol lol He watches our wedding video all the time loved my BSL fusion weave but at $500 to install plus buying hair, it's out of the question to have that done every 8 - 12 weeks.

DH hates wigs and braids so they are out of the question. To grow out my hair I have been protective styling after rollersets and the occasional flat iron. I am transitioning & sometimes just wear my hair curly.

With your restrictions I would try flexirod sets or use magnetic rollers rather than blowdrying and curling. I plan to get some flexirods today myself. To dry, you can use a bonnet attachment for your blowdryer until you can get another hood dryer.

Buy a few silk scarves to tie your hair up at night and find a good moisturizer. I have started to use Scurl on dry hair (and for rollersets) and have felt a marked difference in my hair.

Also, try a different flat iron. My Maxiglide gave me great results but my FHI did not. Maybe your friends/family members have a few brands that you can try before you consider which one to buy.

Good luck!

Girl our DH's must be brothers lol. Do you find S Curl leaves build up after you rollerset? I was using Vigorol Curls Curling Creme and I love the results that day but the next day it feels heavy and most of the curls are gone. I have a friend who loves her maxiglde. I may try that one day.


I do want to cut out the curling iron and the good thing is I have only done that for the last two weeks. I will give the airdry a rollerset a try again and keep you all updated.

 

[lilsparkle825]

there is a great thread on how to achieve beautiful rollersets; i just cant find it right now (i dont have my firefox browser on this computer so search is screwed up). i know i use giovanni direct and water in a spray bottle on my mom's hair and they come out really nice.

if you decide to DC more often like some people have suggested, you can wear a wet bun...after washing pull it back into the protective style of your choice and tie a scarf around it for at least 15-20 mins to make it look sleek.

i left you a message in your guestbook as well! keep us updated and HHG!

 

[Evolving78]

Okay, so last night my DH and I were at my mom's house and he puts on our wedding video. For our wedding I got a full head APL fusion weave so that I could have the long hair I wanted because my hair was just not growing. (There is a pic in my fotki) So he makes a comment that he really liked my hair like that so I told him that is my goal, to get my hair to look like that again and immediately he is like we are not paying $500+ for you to do that again. I told him no, I am going to get MY hair to grow that long and he tells me in my dreams! So now I have to prove him wrong!!


So here is what I have done so far in the last few months..

I started relaxing with a JFM texturizer every 8 weeks. Even a mild relaxer was too strong for my hair. I was trying to stretch longer but using Gro-Aut and the other things I found out about my hair make that hard.

I wash and DC once a week. I used to rollerset until I broke my hooded dryer last week. I have to wait until I can afford to replace it (I am a SAHM).

So because of my hooded dryer incident, I blow dry on low/warm and curl the ends on the lowest setting on my curling iron 1x a week. Then I roll at night.

Things I found out about my hair...
It hates to be airdryed
It hates braidouts
It hates bantu knots for more than a day
It hates my ceramic flat iron(dries it out even with heat protectant)
It hates anything other than a low setting on the other heat appliances.

Oh and the other catch is no weaves or wigs. There seems to be an epidemic of my friends wearing them and I hear the comments all the time.

So can ya'll help a sista out. What can I do to not kill my hair with all these limitations?

I didn't read the rest of the thread, but here is my advice!
wraps,rollerset, different types of rod sets. that is what i did the first time i grew my hair out to apl. i got my hair washed and deep conditioned once a week. i think that is all you need to do. or have you thought about going natural? i'm a sahm too so i know about the money thing. being natural has really worked for me because i just spent a few bucks on some good products and was doing my own hair.

 

[nodisrespect]

Did you mean your hair is sensitive to relaxers? Because if that is the case I would have to ask why do you relax every 8 weeks? If your hair takes to relaxers easily you can probably afford to stretch much longer. I don't know what Gro-Aut is, but unless I'm wrong, the mango butter is protein, so maybe that's what's making your hair hard.

 

[caribeandiva]

Your husband will eat his words! It sounds to me like you already have your regimen down pat. All I'd add is deepcondition 2x a week instead of once. Other than that you're good to go.

 

[naturalmanenyc]

Thank you all for your great advice. I am going to attempt to answer all the questions now.


Girl our DH's must be brothers lol. Do you find S Curl leaves build up after you rollerset? I was using Vigorol Curls Curling Creme and I love the results that day but the next day it feels heavy and most of the curls are gone. I have a friend who loves her maxiglde. I may try that one day.


I do want to cut out the curling iron and the good thing is I have only done that for the last two weeks. I will give the airdry a rollerset a try again and keep you all updated.

I have not had any problems with build up from Scurl. I put about a nickel size amount on my dry, flat ironed hair on Friday afternoon, sealed with coconut oil and that was it. My hair still feels moisturized today which could also be from the steam of the maxiglide.

When I used Scurl for my rollerset, I also noticed no build up, however, I used lots of water to dilute the Scurl. It was so soft and moisturized that DH played in my hair for about 20 minutes.

 

[prospurr4]

Oh, I love a challenge; it can be such a motivator. The ladies here have already given you some great advice, but I just wanted to say, "You can do it!"

When my hair was APL, I told DH that I was going to grow my hair to waistlength, he didn't say anything negative; he just looked at me like this: ...I took THAT as a challenge. Now, I'm about 3 inches away from WL, which I hope to reach by Christmas.

 

[khrystyle]

I didn't read the rest of the thread, but here is my advice!
wraps,rollerset, different types of rod sets. that is what i did the first time i grew my hair out to apl. i got my hair washed and deep conditioned once a week. i think that is all you need to do. or have you thought about going natural? i'm a sahm too so i know about the money thing. being natural has really worked for me because i just spent a few bucks on some good products and was doing my own hair.

I did think about it last year. I went for almost 1 year to date before I relaxed. It was too time consuming to deal with the 2 textures because at that time my daughter was only 8 months old and did not like sitting in one spot for more that 30 minutes.

Did you mean your hair is sensitive to relaxers? Because if that is the case I would have to ask why do you relax every 8 weeks? If your hair takes to relaxers easily you can probably afford to stretch much longer. I don't know what Gro-Aut is, but unless I'm wrong, the mango butter is protein, so maybe that's what's making your hair hard.

When I was using a relaxer I would stretch a little longer than 8 weeks but with the texturizer and the Gro Aut combo my demarcation line is a little lower. My roots are completely straight which is helping it grow stonger but I am having to baby the thin relaxed parts of my hair. Gro Aut is an ayurvedic oil.

 

[khrystyle]

I have not had any problems with build up from Scurl. I put about a nickel size amount on my dry, flat ironed hair on Friday afternoon, sealed with coconut oil and that was it. My hair still feels moisturized today which could also be from the steam of the maxiglide.

When I used Scurl for my rollerset, I also noticed no build up, however, I used lots of water to dilute the Scurl. It was so soft and moisturized that DH played in my hair for about 20 minutes.

Okay I am going to try the S Curl and see how I like that.

 

[Neroli]

Here's my two cents:

1. MAXIMUM LENGTH RETENTION. This should be your focus, so whatever you do, baby baby those ends . . .

2. REDUCE HEAT. Whatever heat you're using now, you will get greater length retention if you cut down, no matter how small the reduction it will help you keep your ends. You may have to give up something to get something else. Disclaimer: everyone doesn't agree with this, but eliminating heat was the single most important thing I did to finally go from SL to beyond BSL in 4 years . . .

3. ROLLERSET WITH MAGNETIC ROLLERS. If you want to wear swingy, bouncy straight styles, rollerset WET hair on magnetic rollers with minimal products, then dry on coolest setting on hood dryer, or just airdry --- takes longer but worth it if you want to wear hair "straight" and cut down heat

4. PROTECTIVE STYLES. The ultimate for length retention, personnally, because it forced me to stop using heat -- no need to heat dry when I'm putting it hair in a bun all week -- just wash, bun and go. With this, I killed two birds with one stone: eliminated heat and protected my ends at the same time.

Just my two cents . . .

 

[almondjoi85]

Good Luck! I've proved my BF wrong... He said my hair wouldn't grow and it's growing. You can do it!

 

[khrystyle]

Thanks everyone! I am so motivated right now.