ITS OVER!!!!

shetara20

shetara20

New Member
Ok everyone!!!Disreguard the last thread"How do you know?" because its over my ex SO decides he wants to text me and say

"Cant talk right now but ima just say it. Im not the person you fell in love with anymore i have not been faithful and I cant go on hurting you so Im just callin it quits ok. again im sorry."

Now what the hell is that!!! Im pissed but I kinda saw it comin!!!
The stroy is we were happy in love for one year then ish hit the fan he cheated on me twice(not sex) but i took him back!!!! :wallbash: I shoulda just let it go right there!!!! A poart of me feels relived but another part makes me feel like I cant find anyone else. That song by Beyonce "Scared of Lonely" describes me to the tee!!! Im just gonna take some time to self reflection and be done with it. Im just overwhelmed and Im at work tryin not to cry and suck it up until 10!!!

Any recent break ups??? Need advice on how to get over this loser!!!
 
I'm going to tell you the same advice my best friend gave me right after being dumped by a loser.

You have to look at the bigger picture. What are you crying for? Why are you mourning? I mean, what are you REALLY losing? He was a loser, a cheater. Why be sad about that?

You'll be okay. Give it some time. :bighug:
 
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lexi84 said:
I'm going to tell you the same advice my best friend gave me right after being dumped by a loser.

You have to look at the bigger picture. What are you crying for? Why are you mourning? I mean, what are you REALLY losing? He was a loser, a cheater. Why be sad about that?

Sorry if that comes off as abrasive, but thats the only kind of advice that sticks with me. You'll be okay. And the only thing that'll help you reallllllly get over him is time. :bighug:
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Yeah. I think I really cant stand him right now. A part of me feels sorry for him but im like bump that!! Ima good women and deserve better!!!!!Thanks for the encouraging words!!
 
MissNorway said:
You're better off without him.
Be free and make yourself happy girl, life is too short for bad relationships.
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I think I am too!!! I dont like being plyed more than once more so not at all!!! Thanks for the advice it might be hard but I gotta focus on me now!!!
 
I'm a ****** who would text back "That's ok, I was cheating 2 have a nice life"


but that's wrong... but I used to be a spiteful person... hit me I hit back


give yourself time and you'll eventually get over it
 
Dee-Licious said:
I'm a ****** who would text back "That's ok, I was cheating 2 have a nice life"


but that's wrong... but I used to be a spiteful person... hit me I hit back


give yourself time and you'll eventually get over it
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I wish I could but that would be a lie!!! I never cheated on him and never really thought about it because I thought we were happy! I guess wrong!!! Proves my theory good girls get ished on everytime and im mad as hell!!!!!
 
shetara20 said:
Proves my theory good girls get ished on everytime and im mad as hell!!!!!
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Okay, I'm gonna be mean for a minute... but I mean it with love (if that's possible to be mean and loving. :look:)

Good girls don't get ished on everytime. Girls who act like pushovers and allow men to get away with KNOWN bullisht get ished on everytime.

There's a difference.

I'm out.
 
Bunny77 said:
Okay, I'm gonna be mean for a minute... but I mean it with love (if that's possible to be mean and loving. :look:)

Good girls don't get ished on everytime. Girls who act like pushovers and allow men to get away with KNOWN bullisht get ished on everytime.

There's a difference.

I'm out.
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You are telling the truth to a point. I am the exception to the rule. Past relationships there were no warning signs and I ended up hurt as usual... so we both have our beliefs but some women do get ished on even without knowing.
 
shetara20 said:
I wish I could but that would be a lie!!! I never cheated on him and never really thought about it because I thought we were happy! I guess wrong!!! Proves my theory good girls get ished on everytime and im mad as hell!!!!!
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would be a lie if i said it 2!!! :lol:
 
shetara20 said:
I wish I could but that would be a lie!!! I never cheated on him and never really thought about it because I thought we were happy! I guess wrong!!! Proves my theory good girls get ished on everytime and im mad as hell!!!!!
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Please don't buy into the bolded young lady.

I was in a relationship that ended because my ex cheated on me and I didn't on him, but it didn't make me want to or have the desire to do it to someone else. I didn't let him harden my heart to not letting someone else in that was worthy and who could treat me better.

I felt it was a blessing that I found this out and it opened the way for me to meet my DH who was 100000x better!!!!

In your last thread you felt that something wasn't right in your relationship, and via his text to you today, you were given the answer to move on with your life.

Wishing you the best, and you will find someone worthy of you.
 
~~HoneyComb~~ said:
[/b]

Please don't buy into the bolded young lady.

I was in a relationship that ended because my ex cheated on me and I didn't on him, but it didn't make me want to or have the desire to do it to someone else. I didn't let him harden my heart to not letting someone else in that was worthy and who could treat me better.

I felt it was a blessing that I found this out and it opened the way for me to meet my DH who was 100000x better!!!!

In your last thread you felt that something wasn't right in your relationship, and via his text to you today, you were given the answer to move on with your life.

Wishing you the best, and you will find someone worthy of you.
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I cant help the way O feel right now. I know eventually it will change! Just pray for me!!!
 
shetara20 said:
I cant help the way O feel right now. I know eventually it will change! Just pray for me!!!
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I know you can't, but there's nothing wrong with you sweetie. He's the one that had the issues, and it's too bad you had to suffer because of them.

The best revenge is showing him that you can do so much better without him:yep:.
 
My theory is never let a man give you bad news. If you feel it coming, if you read a few lines and you see that he is trying to give you some foolish news....delete and do not respond...cut him off. It's sad that men are only interested in their feeling and their needs. He knew that you would be hurt when he sent you that message, but didn't care. He put himself first.

You have to put yourself first!!!! Don't give him the power to make you upset. Don't even read the whole text just be done with him....don't respond at all. Don't let him know that you are upset, just move on. Delete the email and know that this kind of rejection is God's protection. Someone else quoted this and it stuck with me like glue.

You know what's he's about. Women let's be empowered!!! Don't give a man the power to upset you or mistreat you. We all know when a guy is being a jerk to us and is not treating us right. Just end it first and avoid all this nonsense. End it first and feel empowered that you put yourself first. Always guard your heart, you deserve to have a man earn your love. You only take him back on your terms and those terms should be something that he has to earn. He has to start back at ground zero, start throwing those losers back in the dating pool.

If a man makes a mistakes the first time (i.e. cheating) he should be trying to make this up to you. Find out if he has a plan, short and long. A good man has a plan. While some just want to be a player for life. If his plan doesn't line up with yours, then move on, you're just wasting your time. His plan should line up with his actions.

Just my opinion.
 
I know this is going to be hard to see right now because the break-up is fresh and you really loved the guy, but the world is your playground right now! That loser stepped out of your life to make way for a better man. Have fun, meet decent people who will treat you right and won't disrespect you by cheating on you. One good woman should be enough for a man. There's not very many women like you in the world, and trust me one day when what he did to you comes back to bite him in the rear he will be thinking of you, and you will be so over him :grin:.
 
i saw we do a drive-by:vette: i'll call jon:210: you call jake :210:and we'll light his a** up:gotroasted:


j/k i dont really have any advice just cry tonight and move on tomorow he is not worth more than half an hour of pain
 
it is time for your to mourn and grieve this relationship ( loss). You are going through a lot of different emotions and that is NORMAL. however, you will have to work through this. Take time and reflect.

This betrayal and hurt will make you second guess yourself and what did you did wrong. Don't do that. Know that everything happen for a reason and it may take time for you to get over it. When we are grieving many times the hurt comes from the shock of the person not being what we thought the person should be. We are mourning over "what could have been" or we are mourning over the " why he did this or that" : why can't he just _________". It is that disappointment. Please know that you will get through this and YOU will find a man that is worthy of your love. I am pretty sure that as you look over things, he already had told you that he didn't want the relationship.Learn from this, Hindsight is 20-20. Furthermore, if he broke up with you over a text message, let it go, he is not worth your emotions. Good luck!

*hugs*
 
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another thing that caught my eye, is that you said that you didn't think you couldn't find anybody else. Been there 2. Honey, you WILL find someone else but be sure that it is on your terms. Don't settle and pull that self love up a couple of notches because you deserve the BEST and nothing less and if it comes to you being single for awhile and even a few years, let it be! The real thing will not come unless you are ready for it!
 
I'm breakin up too. do what i do, get cute, take good care of yourself, get active and involved in something where you won't be sitting at home stewing, and in time, he'll be a distant bad memory. Keep your eyes on your future. At least you didn't marry him!
 
shetara20 said:
I am the exception to the rule. Past relationships there were no warning signs and I ended up hurt as usual... so we both have our beliefs but some women do get ished on even without knowing.
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Welp... I can say for me that in hindsight, there were ALWAYS warning signs about a particular man who I shouldn't have been with. I just deliberately ignored them or made them out to be no big deal because I wanted to be with the men in question.

But when the relationships finally ended, I looked back and straight up knew I'd ignored the warning signs. While it definitely hurts and while I'm not excusing the man's behavior, continuing to do the "I always get ished on" rant isn't going to help you in the future when the next dude comes along and the next dude and the next dude... look back and see if there was something that you missed and if you got so caught up in "love" that you passed by the red flags.

Anyway, that's for later. For now, just take time to grieve (just a little), and then focus on loving yourself and being happy again! :)
 
Hi, I know what you're going through. Just take it as a lesson learned. One thing I forgot to say to you in "How Do You Know" is you will have peace, even when he is not around you. The "How do you know" question will not exist in your mind, you will just know. I agree with Bunny, there are ALWAYS signs, and we choose to heed to them or not and being in the haze of love it's hard to see. Emotions do not have any intellect attach to them, whenever you experience an overflow of emotions, good or bad, you must note to give your brain an opportunity to process it all, away from the source of those emotions. In this case, he was GIVING your brain and gut all the time it needed to know what's up.

I'm learning that IF there is even a question, you already hold the answer. Don't ask him, don't ask anyone else. Learn to trust your instincts.

I had to end a relationship last week, and even though I was the one that ended it I still got emotional. It was only a week ago, but I'm seriously over him. Let it all flow, have a spiritual funeral for him, for the betterment of you, he needs to not exist in your life. Do NOT ever contact him again, and should he contact you, he's just a ghost, don't let him haunt you.

Look back at your relationship with honesty, as if it weren't you but a character in a book or movie. Don't obsess over it, but go about your life and when you have moments to reflect do it, you can be reflecting for a week or a month or more. You haven't lost a thing, you've gained an opportunity to focus on YOUR life and finding out what makes YOU happy. You are beautiful and you have a great heart, true love will find you.
 
Through a text message because he couldn't talk at the moment. He would have gotten a fine cuss out, then I would mourn and move on. Get into the things that you have been wanting to do all year but didn't. He sounds like a jerk anyway and just thank God it happened sooner rather than later.
 
Girl...

Do your Single Ladies dance and have a party.
Seriously, you said you saw it coming, it's here, and worst of all, he's too much a coward to approach you directly!?

You can do better.

Take this time to see what this relationship taught you about yourself (relationships always reflect something within the two people involved) and live your life. Stay up and stay focused.
 
HA! I'm all for 'no-contact' but I would love to see the look on his face if you sent him "Thank You and Good Riddance!". I might do that if I go through another breakup again.

Wow, I'm kinda thankful for my breakups. They made me stronger and taught me so much. Glad that loser is out of your life so that the door is opened for a real man. His loss.

He lost out on a good deal. He was a sorry excuse for a man who got to have the companionship of a good woman. That's not fair. Don't let it happen again. Give your love to a man who deserves it.
 
my pastor did this one sunday morning...he took a 100 dollar bill and threw it on the ground, stepped on it, balled it up, threw it back on the floor, and spit on it....then he openend the $100 bill and said .....it's still $100 bill and it's still WORTH a $100, still spends like a $100...nothing has changed other than it went through a few things but at the end of the day...anyone w/ some common sense will see it's still VALUABLE! You are worthy of the BEST! no matter what has happened in your life. You lost what you needed to lose and that was a jerk! Now you have time to focus on you and allow the RIGHT man into your life.

peace and hugs to you...it's gonna be alright!
 
Every time I read about trifling guys and ending relationships, It makes me want to cry. I'm sorry that I can't offer any more words.

I just want to give you BIG, HUGE, GIGANTIC, GARGANTUAN ((HUGS))!!!!

PM me anytime.
 
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