It's my birthday and I feel sad.

((((Hugs)))) and happy birthday. Sounds like that call really sent you down a sad path. I'm sorry things didn't work out how you hoped, but you sound very successful. You should be very proud of what you've accomplished. Try to enjoy yourself today, okay?
 
first let me say happy birthday and may god bless u with many more years to come...
this guy is an ahole he didnt have to call u and tell u this last night the night before ur bday.

U will find the right man at the right time god has a way of working things out. You have accomplished what a lot of people havent at 33 so u r blessed
 
Sorry to hear this! I've been in a similar situation myself- I know it's tough because part of you feels that if he says he loves you, and you love him too, why can't it just work and shouldn't you keep trying. The thing is, no matter how much we love people, everybody just isn't compatible and shouldn't marry (sometimes men know this better than we do). And I was married before but it didn't work out. I'd rather not have been married at all than to be divorced, so you are lucky that you never even went down that road-especially not with someone who has doubts from the start.

I know it feels awful, but you can comfort yourself with the fact that if he keeps contacting you, he finds you desireable on some level- that's more evidence that you are valuable and can find someone else.

I think the key is being determined to work on ourselves and really love and care for ourselves so we only want the best for ourselves-including the best men. I think the problem is that many women were never taught to have self esteem or to love themselves- the message I got at home was to be smart and work hard- but that doesn't make a man love you. You have to love yourself (a lot) first. And I can only get there by slowing down (I've been known to be a workaholic at times) and working on myself and taking good care of myself so I love myself more.

I hope you have a Happy 33rd Birthday!
 
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Happy Birthday! Buying a home and starting a small business are huge accomplishments so please dont sell yourself short.

You may not see it now but there is a reason why you are not with your ex and im sure its for the better. Its time to move on from him. Can you block his number and emails? This helped me move on from my ex. You have your whole life in front of you, your husband and family will come right before you know it.

Happy Birthday again and try to enjoy your day!
 
That phone call the night before your birthday....so wrong of him.

You have done a lot that some people will never be able to do. I hope this year will open new horizons for you in terms of what you want.

Happy Birthday!
 
Happy Birthday OP!!!

You shouldn't feel down at all. You have accomplished a lot more than people your age and older.

My only piece of advice is to stop all communication with your ex. He sounds manipulative. Plus, to make room for the good that is to come in your life, you have to get rid of the old garbage. Seriously.

Enjoy the rest of your day!
 
Happy birthday and I'm really sorry OP!

He's trying to manipulate you into keeping into contact with him and to possibly continue a relationship when he does marry. This happened to a friend of mine, she dated a guy off and on for several years with no clear commitment or title thinking he'd "come around". He upped and married someone but kept reeling her in with manipulation and love. Fast forward, he gets married and she continues a relationship/affair with him well into four years of his marriage. She's finally free from him. But it sucked the life out of her. He's an emotional vampire. Cease communication with him--don't even "be friends". I know you think it can't happen to you but this friend of mine is attractive, smart intelligent and successful, but it happened to her.

Good Luck OP
 
Aren't you glad that you're not engaged to a man who is calling another woman to tell her that he "loves and cherishes" her? I'm just sayin. You deserve to be with a man whom his love and cherishing is reserved for you and only you.

What an arsehole for calling you right before your birthday with that foolishness, knowing you'd be emotional. What a thorn.

I stand by the "get over him" method of finding something you like to do and getting busy with it.

You can start by having a happy birthday! :hugs:
 
Browndilocks said:
Aren't you glad that you're not engaged to a man who is calling another woman to tell her that he "loves and cherishes" her? I'm just sayin. You deserve to be with a man whom his love and cherishing is reserved for you and only you.

What an arsehole for calling you right before your birthday with that foolishness, knowing you'd be emotional. What a thorn.

I stand by the "get over him" method of finding something you like to do and getting busy with it.

You can start by having a happy birthday! :hugs:
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This. :yep: The fiancee' is not winning, not by a long shot. That is not the type of man you want/need in your life, OP.

You have a lot going for you. I'm sure it took some time to make those things happen, well, this is no different. But try to enjoy your day.
 
my response is a bit more to the point but i mean well!

You've given this man 10 years of your lifee--

please for the love of god dont give him a minute more of thought or emotions or sorrow---YOU ARE VERY BLESSED.....VERYYY....

ppl only treat you the way you allow them to...when you know better you do better--its a new year---youve lived to see another yr of your life--move on and stay strongg--go out and live your life!!!

love yourself! value yourself!
 
Happy birthday!! Hope you do something fun.

33 is still young :). My advice, is to not waste time or energy on losers and unavailable men (like the ex).

Sent from my iPad using LHCF
 
Happy Birthday.
The ladies have given you good and sound advice...he really isn't worth pinning over. If anything feel sorry for the woman he is with now.

I'm wondering what he meant by a better match - my guess is she is the type of woman that will constantly turn a blind eye to other women. Some kind of door mat, and he knew you weren't that.
Hun, you are the winner.
 
Happy birthday!! & a huge giant ((((hug)))). please try to focus on all the great things that you have accomplished in your life. Try to stay positive & have faith that there is someone out there for you. Enjoy your birthday, even if it just topping off a bottle of bubble'. :)

Sent from my T-Mobile myTouch Q using LHCF
 
You dodged a bullet chile....lemme tell u sumfin...

*lights up a newport one hunnit*

Man's time is governed by a clock. With dat bein said, be thankful that you didn't marry him and I say that because you were willing to compromise yourself for someone that you gave TEN years of your life too. TEN YEARS of your life that you will neva get back. It took him TEN years and then all of a sudden, he done up jumped da boogie n got engaged to someone else, who he feels is a better match. So be it. If anything, u should be insulted that he left YOU, not da other way around.

Don't be upset. Instead, rejoice. It wasn't meant for you to be with him. It wasn't part of The Plan for you. Don't start actin on emotion and freezin eggs n whatnot. It's not that serious and neither was he. You've accomplished a lot in life. More than most people who are in their 50s.

Don't let no man live in ur head and heart rent free. You are the prize and don'tchu forget it. He missed out. Not you.

It's your birthday and you deserve to be happy and celebrate. Damn dat sittin around feelin sorry for yourself cuz ur not married and don't have kids. Be careful of whatchu ask for. When it's time for you to get married n have some chirren, it'll come. Chile...

But if u know like I know, u betta enjoy da time you have to yourself. Trust me when I tell you. When I read your post, I was like damn...he done sucked da life forces outta dis girl...don't make no sense.

When u do find da one, and you will, you'll look back on this and laugh. Then one day, you'll see that dude. With his wife. And kids. Ridin shotgun in a bustid mini-van. Lookin a hot mess. Then you'll laugh and be glad... That's how life works...
 
Happy Birthday.
You've done a lot of things people much older than you are still dreaming about doing. I know it's hard I've put it out there a lot about being in a similar situation. Keep living and enjoying your life and all the rest will eventually fall into place. Stay healthy and active and make a list of all the things you want to do and start doing them!
I did something like that...I traveled, I learned sign language, I learned photography etc. and you know I met my man in the library while planning a trip I wanted to take.
Don't get caught up on that "magical" everything needs to be done by 35. I know as women we feel the pressure especially related to a husband and babies.....you still have plenty of life to enjoy.
Hope you feel better soon.
 
Happy Birthday! Focus on your blessings and express gratitude for every single one. That's how you bring more joy into your life. You have a whole lifetime of new experiences and new people to welcome into your world. Open your eyes to what you have and keep your eyes open to the good things God has coming for you.
 
Happy Birthday to you. I know the feeling that you have. But know that time truly does heal all wounds. Take the time this new year to mingle with and date new people. There is someone out there who is better for you. Sometimes you have to kiss a few frogs, but know there is someone for you waiting to cross paths with you.
 
we share the same bday. im a little younger than u and i would say i'd be very glad to own a house and business by 33, at the rate things are going it seems a far fetched dream.

I pray that the year ahead brings you so much joy you cant contain it, brings life to all your hopes and dreams. all the best!!
 
loved every word of thissss...and i luv this part especiallyyyyy@ the bolded

i was hoping you would come in and drop some knowledge!!!



ThatJerseyGirl said:
You dodged a bullet chile....lemme tell u sumfin...

*lights up a newport one hunnit*

Man's time is governed by a clock. With dat bein said, be thankful that you didn't marry him and I say that because you were willing to compromise yourself for someone that you gave TEN years of your life too. TEN YEARS of your life that you will neva get back. It took him TEN years and then all of a sudden, he done up jumped da boogie n got engaged to someone else, who he feels is a better match. So be it. If anything, u should be insulted that he left YOU, not da other way around.

Don't be upset. Instead, rejoice. It wasn't meant for you to be with him. It wasn't part of The Plan for you. Don't start actin on emotion and freezin eggs n whatnot. It's not that serious and neither was he. You've accomplished a lot in life. More than most people who are in their 50s.

Don't let no man live in ur head and heart rent free. You are the prize and don'tchu forget it. He missed out. Not you.

It's your birthday and you deserve to be happy and celebrate. Damn dat sittin around feelin sorry for yourself cuz ur not married and don't have kids. Be careful of whatchu ask for. When it's time for you to get married n have some chirren, it'll come. Chile...

But if u know like I know, u betta enjoy da time you have to yourself. Trust me when I tell you. When I read your post, I was like damn...he done sucked da life forces outta dis girl...don't make no sense.

When u do find da one, and you will, you'll look back on this and laugh. Then one day, you'll see that dude. With his wife. And kids. Ridin shotgun in a bustid mini-van. Lookin a hot mess. Then you'll laugh and be glad... That's how life works...
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